DISCLAIMER - Do not own.
WARNING - The usual. Homosexuality and fluff.
RANT - Just for Christmas, just because I wanted to.
BTW, I did use a song for the basis of this. Not much singing is in this (and what singing there is comes later), this is not a song fic after all, but yes. I splattered the lyrics here and there for funsies. x3
"So this is Christmas... and what have you done?"
It was a question that my father asked every Christmas morning. Before the gifts, before the family meetings, before the big dinner and clothes drenching snow ball fights... before the happiness could fall over everyone like a cold, but welcome blanket- my father would ask this simple question with a grin. As if he might not let anyone have gifts that year unless they proved they were "worthy".
"I volunteered for an old folks' home!" Boasted the least favorite of my cousins, the "perfect" one. Of course the adults cooed and commended him, and he, of course, would smirk in triumph at me. I just ignored him and offered a shy smile to my dad.
"I helped grandma with her gardening." My meek, little voice would say, soft as a dove's coo. And of course, no one was listening. I was drowned out by the voice of my older cousin, too busy practically bragging to everyone of his great achievments that year, including mastering two new languages. "Well... I..."
"Shush, Sora, it's rude to interrupt." My mother said cheerfully, but dismissively- not even looking down at me. If she had, she might have seen my eyes water. I was a very sensitive child at eight, but only during the holidays. Every other day of the year I was perfectly energetic and, sometimes, even charming...
But Riku, my cousin, ruined that for me. Every year.
Every year since birth, he stole all the attention and hogged it for himself. He would glow with egotistical pride and smile like the angel he wasn't. And every year, all my relatives would be impressed. He was more then willing to tell me, more then once (even after his parents would remind everyone), that when I was a newborn, no one cared. Because when he was one and I was a month, he had learned to walk without falling and speak full sentences. No one cared that I was tiny and cute, they only cared that Riku was so smart and even cuter.
I will admit... he was. Even to this day, he's incredibly attractive. More then me. Hell, more so then most anyone, really.
It was one of many scarring memories involving the boy I have in the bank of my subconscious, memories I would forget until that faithful time near the end of the year when I would be forced around the people who would never let me forget. It may be a dumb excuse, but it's only for "Family Obligation" that I still attend the Christmas reunions. The only thing I could say to myself, to somewhat justify me punishing myself with these people, was simply that... They did love me, even if they ignored me sometimes. And it could have been so much worse. So one week for Christmas I show my own love in return by being miserable, which isn't a big sacrifice nor something I should be mad at.
Even if Riku was still annoying as hell. Really, incredibly, shave-his-head-in-the-middle-of-the-night annoying. Luckily for him, I am a pacifist. Also known as "abuse sponge extroardinaire".
This year felt no different then the others. I was just arriving three days before Christmas, one day later then usual, to the place I would be staying for the week. My cousin's house. Or what was formally his house, now his parents. Long ago, at age eighteen, he had moved out, now living in a lovely condominium. A free condominium provided by his company for his employment.... as he so often reminded me.
"I'm sorry, Sora. Did you bring money for a hotel?"
"What?? I've been occupying the same room every year since I was five!" I was a little irritated, obviously. For good reason. My aunt, my dear Aunt Penelope, had decided this year that her home was on a first come, first serve basis. So my tardiness meant I either run back home or use up my own money for a hotel. During the week I hated most of all in the year. Yeah, I was mad.
"No need to be so angry, cousin." What was it about that sultry voice that made me want to slap myself, then him? Oh, yes. It was Riku's voice. I forced a smile, turned to look at him and almost went boggle-eyed. It was by pure accident I looked my buffer cousin over and blushed, something I wish I could have controlled better. Riku saw where my attention went (all over him) and smirked, making me cringe. "Share my room."
"Wh-What?"
"Oh, Riku! How unselfish of you, but you don't have to share your room if you don't want to." His mom said, practically giddy with joy that her son was so "unselfish".
Who cares what happens to Sora, right? Bah. Being in his room was a death sentence anyway. Unfortunately, I already knew I wasn't the one making the decisions here.
Riku shook his head. "I do want to. I have a big bed, we're both boys." Riku put an arm around me and gave me the "buddy hug". The one where he brings me in close ith one arm and gives me a friendly side hug/shake... Sign number one of evil. "He's my favorite cousin that I rarely see... But of course, only with your permission, mother."
Polite bastard... I smiled again, my cheeks still a little pink and my face in pain. The smile was making the joints in my mouth throb dully.
"Whatever you want, my angel!" She kissed his cheek and went to get extra blankets and pillows, humming happily to herself.
Riku just smirked at me again. As I tried to inch away, he just jerked me back... But instead of doing what he might do every other year, like pull my pants down or give me a wedgie or put me in a headlock, he kissed my forehead. A sweet, soft peck.
"H...uh?" I looked at him questionably, hand instinctively touching the wet spot on my head from the kiss.
"I wish I could see you more often, Sora." He let me go and walked away.
Did he just use my name? He hadn't used my name in... well... ever! He usually referred to me as "Mouse", "Sowhocares", or "that one guy I'm related to".
I watched him leave. Riku seemed so different this year, and not just the unusually nice behavior... even what he wore wasn't normal. He was in a white dress shirt with the buttons completely undone and the material wrinkled. It was tucked into his black slacks at the bottom. This was the first time I ever had a real look at his muscles (and they weren't just muscles, they were muscles). I couldn't help but feel jealous. His hair was disheveled, as if he had a hard time sleeping and didn't bother to brush his hair afterward, and his feet were bare. Normally the guy was pressed, permed, and perfect. Always. Not one hair out of place, clothes fitting perectly...
Was he feeling depressed?
"Riku..." I called to him, though half heartedly. I didn't know how much I cared. If he was depressed, so much so he was willing to be messy in front of other people (even if he did look sexy that way), then something was seriously bothering him. And that bothered me, knowing my cousin was hurting. But at the same time, this hurting cousin was also the guy who would knock me off the roof when our grandmother would have us set up her lights together when we were teens or would trip me into a pile of snow while we cleaned the drive-way.
Then again, it could be a trick. Put me into a false sense of security then attack me while my guard is down.
"Sora!" I didn't get the chance to contemplate on it any longer as I was called to the kitchen to help set up for dinner.
"So another year is coming to a close, and a new one is about to begin. Let us pray for new hope, renewed love, and new friends to come."
"Here, here!"
The third day before Christmas dinner. If one didn't know any better, they'd have thought that this day, not even Christmas Eve, was considered almost as important as Xmas itself. A large, golden turkey sat in the middle, stuffing in a large pan that barely fit into the oven, five types of pie, and five side dishes to match. Like Thanksgiving again, which it sort of was with how we celebrated.
The family prayed before and after the meal, and both times I kept my eyes open, watching Riku curiously. The entire time my cousin hadn't said a word other then a simple laugh or a nod, but still came off cheerful. He hadn't changed his attire at all, except now he had slippers on. Just what is wrong with him? It was never like Riku to let other people head a conversation-
Hell, it wasn't like him to let anyone else even talk.
He looked up at me. At first, I was sympathetic and curious. I even smiled at him warmly, trying to offer a little comfort to whatever his problem was... And that all flew out the window as he smirked, even licked his lips at me with a stare that said he was hungry (he'd often do that, ever since he graduated high school at the age of thirteen). I blushed hotly and jerked my eyes away.
I decided to be nice, and because my relatives were noctorious for nagging people to death, and help with the dishes. One year, when I was twelve, I had been lazy and just went to bed. Bad idea. My grandparents came to my room to discuss how I would never grow up to be anything and how Riku has accomplished so much and I'm getting a free ride, and so on and so on. Just for not doing dishes!
The room was always so crowded with people cleaning, I still don't understand why some people can't just sit it out now and then. Maybe make a deal and take turns, but no. All of us, six of us tonight- twenty or so on Christmas- would crowd the kitchen. Some doing the dishes, some cleaning the table and floor, some rearranging the fridge around to fit in left overs. All of us bumping our butts together, knocking heads, and on occasion accidentally stabbing someone with a spoon. And the whole time I expected Riku to play some nasty trick on me, like every year, but he didn't. In fact, the worse thing he did was acidentally smack me with a pot, which was nothing compared to some of the things he did last year to me... but even after he did that, he didn't laugh. Instead, he inspected my head. When he knew it was fine, he ruffled my hair up and continued his work filling up the dishwasher.
The whole time I wanted to ask what was wrong with him, but I was still under debate. If I asked, he'd revert back to his evil self. I liked that he was caring and not messing with me anymore... But I also felt horrible knowing something was up, almost feeling selfish for not wanting to help him.
Soon enough, we were heading to bed together. Riku was in front of me as he climbed the stairs to the room we would share for the next few nights. I watched him climb, powerful legs driving him forward. His shirt had fallen off his shoulder, more cream-white skin showing... and he didn't even correct it.
"Riku..." I tried, voice almost shaking. It was like my body was trying to stop me from figuring out my cousin's problem, from turning him back to normal. It had been abused enough by him to have its say in this, but I wasn't going to let it stop me. My heart felt for my cousin, so that's what I listened to.
"Mm?" Riku replied, no hint of sadness at all. He barely turned to look at me as he reached the landing.
"Um..." I gave a little cough of nervousness. Maybe he was just tired of the facade this year? This is his parents' house, he could dress and do what he wanted. Maybe I was being presumptuous? "W-Well, I... Um..."
Riku laughed as I stuttered. "I'm sorry, what was that?" A spark of his old self and that same smirk he always flashed at me.
Only me. Why didn't I realize that before?
It made me smile, first time ever. Maybe he was okay? "You just acted a little strangely today, like you're sad about something... Not that I mind having my pants up and my boxers where they belong." I chuckled, feeling silly suddenly.
"... You are... more observant then I give you credit for."
What? "Huh?" I looked up, concern returning. So I was right...?
He chuckled again, turning back and leading the way down the hall.
"Riku, if there's something wrong, please tell me!" My hand instantly slapped my mouth. I couldn't believe what I just did, how desperate it sounded. Maybe I was more scared for him then I thought?
Riku stopped again, looking at me in surprise. "Oh, Sora..." He murmured softly, opening the door to his bedroom. "You're sweet, but don't worry. I'm fine, just very tired." He smiled at me. Not smirked, smiled. "Thanks for worrying, though."
"Well... You are my cousin..." I said shyly, barely chuckling as I stared at the floor with red cheeks. I was shocked to see him scowl when I turned my eyes back up. He was so soft and sweet looking seconds ago, eyes looking at me fondly. Such a beautiful look that was suddenly replaced by an ugly glare. "Just get in." He snapped, walking in himself. He even almost slammed the door on me.
Just what did I do?
Song: The Cranes "Happy Xmas (War is Over)".
Yay, part 1 of 3 done!
Read, review, NO FLAMES.
