A/N: This is my first fic. I think the dynamic of faith between Elizabeth and Henry hasn't really been explored in the fanfic world. I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring and see what happens. Reviews would be appreciated.
I own nothing.
October 7, 1988
Elizabeth twirled the fettuccine around her fork before lifting it to her mouth. "Mmmm." She let out a little sigh. "Henry, this is so good. How was I so lucky to land such a smart, handsome man who is also such a fabulous cook?" Elizabeth glanced up just in time to catch Henry shift uneasily in his chair. Immediately, she reached across the small table in his apartment and touched his hand. "What is it? Is something wrong?"
Henry snapped out of his thoughts. "Oh! Nothing. It's nothing. Just something that crossed my mind. We can talk about it later." Quickly, changing the subject, he asked, "How's the mid-term studying going?'
"For the most part, it's going pretty well. My International Law class may send me off the deep end though. I've read so many cases and decisions and they are all vague and wordy and make no sense at all." Elizabeth forcefully exhaled and ran a hand through her blond curls.
"I'm sure you are worrying for nothing. You always do well," he commented as he picked up their empty plates and carried them to the sink. Elizabeth also rose and gathered the wine glasses which she deposited on the bar to refill.
"Yes. But you know how I don't like to fall behind. I want to be ahead of the game."
"Oh, I know all about you staying ahead of the game," Henry smirked as he rounded the end of the bar wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her close. Elizabeth melted into his embrace as Henry kissed the top of her head. Tipping her head back, she was looking for more, but Henry took her by the hands and led her to the couch. "Sit with me. I want to talk to you about something."
"What is it? There is something wrong!" Henry could see Elizabeth's crystal blue eyes cloud over in confusion and just a hint of fear.
"No, no! Nothing's wrong," he reassured her. "I've just been thinking and I want to talk to you about…" Henry took a deep breath. "…my faith.
Elizabeth pulled her hands away from Henry and placed them in her lap. Her head dropped and she closed her eyes. Henry put his finger under her chin and gently pulled her head up so that he could look into her eyes. He could tell that she was thinking back to the past.
Growing up, Elizabeth's family had never been overly religious. Occasionally her parents would get on what she called "a church kick" and take her and her brother, Will, to various services. It usually last a few months at most, and then the family would slowly fall back into their habit of sleeping in on Sunday mornings, working around their horse farm and then going on a family ride later in the day. It wasn't that she never believed in the possibility of God, but more that it was just something that others did.
When, at age 14, Elizabeth lost her parents in a car accident, she stood in the family line at the funeral home and listened what seemed like thousands of people offer their platitudes about her parents "being in a better place" and "going home to Jesus." It was then that Elizabeth really tried to embrace the idea. She prayed like she had been taught in Sunday school. She prayed that God would bring her parents back. She prayed that He would mend her broken heart. She prayed for a better relationship with Will. She prayed that her aunt and uncle would love her and Will like their parents had. Nothing happened. In fact, she felt like the whole situation worsened, if that was even possible. Her aunt and uncle had no idea what to do with two adolescents and remained emotionally distant. They sent the siblings to a prestigious private school. Will seemed to thrive. He made friends quickly and seemingly moved on. Elizabeth fell into an emotionless existence.
It was during Christmas break during her freshman year at there that she finally hit rock bottom. Will had left to spend the break with friends. Everyone just left. Elizabeth guessed that the administration assumed she went home, but her aunt and uncle were vacationing somewhere out of the country. She was all alone. She didn't mind so much at first. She was tired of trying to hold all of her emotions in check. She was hurt and angry and generally pissed off. Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to just spend a week not having to worry about what everyone else was doing or saying. She just happened to be sitting in the commons room reading a book when her eyes scanned across the word "God."
Months of suppressed emotion surged through Elizabeth's body. There was no possible way to control it. She threw the book across the room. "God? What fucking God?" she screamed. "No God who claimed to be good would hurt my parents. No loving God would take away the only people who loved me. No caring God would allow me to be sent away. They are all wrong. There is no God!" Elizabeth's tirade went on until she passed out from exhaustion.
She woke hours later, laying on the floor of the commons room. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes, still puffy from crying. She winced and looked down at her throbbing hand. The knuckles on her right hand were bruised and split open, lines of blood dried in the cracks. Looking up, she gasped. The room had been torn apart. Furniture was overturned. Pictures hung crooked on the walls and the blinds had been ripped from the windows.
Bits and pieces of the evening hung foggy in the back of her mind, but she rose and started returning the room to its original state. It was when she pulled a leaning floor lamp back to its upright position that she saw the hole in the wall. "Well, that explains my hand," she muttered to herself as she continued to put the room back together. After a few minutes, other than the hole, Elizabeth was able to put everything back to where no one would suspect what had happened. She however, knew exactly what had been done. God had been boxed up and put in the back of her mind and she planned on keeping it that way.
Henry took Elizabeth's hand and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. He watched Elizabeth intently as she went back in time, her eyes clouding, tears forming and then they were blinked back as fast as they came. "Babe?" A small, sad smile formed at the corner of her mouth when she looked at Henry.
"Okay. I'm listening."
