Early in 1976 I read a story "Visit to a Weird Planet Revisited" by Ruth Berman in Star Trek; The New Voyages. The story told of three actors, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and DeForest Kelly, and their adventures when exchanged by chance with Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, and landed on board the USS Enterprise.

I enjoyed Ruth's fun and well-written account, but it started me wondering. While all this was happening, what was going on on the set in California with the three unusual guests?

As it turns out, this story was written before Ruth's story and was called "Visit to a Weird Planet" by Jean Lorrah and William F. Hunt (which Ruth acknowledges in her title). When I found this out, I was very anxious to read the other half of this adventure. But try as I might, I simply could not get my hands on a copy of this original "Visit" story, or even find out where it had been published. Sigh. This was what it was like before the internet made all-things-possible.

Finally, still anxious to read the other half, I sat down to write one myself. What started out as a quick first-attempt-at-fan-fiction short story blossomed into the novelette you see before you. When you start something like this, it's hard to stop. This story was first published in The Fourth Millennium, a Star Trek fanzine from MSU, back in the day. I am finally getting around to converting it to a digital format. Be gentle with me, I wrote this when I was 19.

What follows, then, is my interpretation of what would happen if our three heroes – battlewise and alien environment seasoned - were to enter the one environment they weren't ready for: the Star Trek set.


A Paramount Predicament

by SpunSilk


Kirk took a deep breath and surveyed the sandy terrain around him. Although he appreciated the cool salty air and the restful atmosphere, he couldn't imagine why the Klingons were interested in the small planet; Klingons were not known for their appreciation of beauty.

Nearby, McCoy and Spock (with his ever-present tricorder squealing) were finishing up their readings and observations. "Bones, Spock, let's get back up to the ship. We'll discuss the possibilities there." As the trio situated themselves into the beaming formation, Kirk snapped up his communicator and gave the appropriate order.

"Energizing," the well-known Scottish voice came back, and the familiar tingle swept their bodies. Vision became blurred, dizziness came over them. Kirk recognized all this, and knew it would soon pass. The buzzing in his ears faded as they rematerialized. Kirk started off the platform, then stopped dead.

The room was not whole. The ceiling and one wall were missing and had been replaced by blinding lights coming from every angle. The intense heat from the blaze beat down on him. The sole occupant of the "room" was the silent form of Kirk's chief engineer standing behind the console and beginning to look a bit anxious at the captain's hesitation. Two more beats passed before Kirk came out with a very unsure and suspicious "Mr. Scott ... report."

"CUT!" came an angry voice from nowhere. McCoy jumped at the unexpected sound from someone who must have been behind the dazzling torrent of light. The man in the engineering uniform cursed semi-softly and banged his fist against the console. Assorted groans were heard from an unseen crowd. Another onslaught of words came from behind the brilliant display as Kirk searched the absent wall for its source.

"Shatner! Your line is 'Get me a fix on that power source and meet me in the briefing room'!" A disgusted pause allowed McCoy and Spock to join Kirk on the floor, as they too strained to see behind the brilliance. The voice returned, "All right, maybe we're all just tired. Take five! we'll pick this shot up later."

As if in response to the booming voice, an immeasurable amount of activity began like the flip of a switch. The lights were dimmed, revealing to the trio a huge building filled with metal equipment Kirk didn't recognize. Scott walked off and was almost immediately lost in the bulky-looking apparatus. Varied chatter began from the large number of people that had just been revealed as everyone began a specific duty. Still rooted to his spot, Kirk hardly acknowledged the "Fascinating" muttered behind him.

As people began to sift into the "transporter" room" with lights, cords, and assorted machines, Kirk hurried his men unnoticed into a somewhat unfilled corner of the room.

"In a word; Wow!" said McCoy.

"Mr. Spock," Kirk said, glancing around, still unable to take in his surroundings. "Explanation... uh, speculation? What is this?"

"I am sorry, Captain," he replied, himself almost at a loss for words, "but I can only tell you what it is not. That," pointing to the area they had come from, "is not the Enterprise."

"Yes, that's quite obvious," Kirk muttered, not sure whether to be irritated with Spock's inopportune moments to show his unique sense of humor. "Though certain details do bear a striking resemblance... And Mr. Scott-" He scanned the moving crowd for the familiar face.

"Captain, I am inclined to point out that if we are not aboard the Enterprise, the good gentleman we recognized could very well not be Engineer Scott."

Kirk nodded in grim realization. A long pause followed, and then "Well then. The first step is to find out exactly where we are, and then how to get back to where we should be. Spock, as soon as possible, take a tricorder reading. we need data; a point of reference. And until we know exactly what we're up against, I think we should play along with what's going on here." He then added a bit helplessly, "Whatever is going on here."

Spock nodded and walked off through the jungle of black metal, making adjustments on the unit hanging over his shoulder.

McCoy moved closer to Kirk and spoke low. "This is kind of spooky. It's all familiar, yet it's not. You wonder what's coming next."

"You may soon get your answer." Kirk motioned to where a large group looked like they were preparing to start the lights again.

The booming voice reappeared with a loud "Leonard! we need you for a shot."

"For a what?" McCoy gulped.

Kirk gave him a slight smile, a pat on the back and a hearty "Keep your chin up, Doc. Play along and learn all you can."

"Thanks a heap! That's all I need now, to be a phaser target." Leonard McCoy swallowed hard, and with a look of determination and uncertainty, he started off in the direction of the voice, which was now loudly demanding, "Where's Leonard? Anybody seen Leonard?"


Although he just had to follow the noise, he found it was quite another thing to find a way to get to the source. The huge light stands and other equipment only added to the confusion of corridors, walls, and bulkheads. "Why, it's just bits and pieces," he muttered to himself, surveying the unorganized arrangement of different sections of the great starship.

After five minutes of searching, McCoy found a break in the maze, and found himself about 10 meters from the activity and the man with the powerful vocal chords. Gathering nerve, McCoy strode over and stood patiently beside him. The man glanced up from his huge spring-type clipboard with a quick "Hi De" and went back to his board. McCoy stood by with a definite feeling of what-do-I-do-now? The man glanced up again, surprised to see McCoy still standing expectantly. Pause. . . "Something I can do for you?"

"No, no," McCoy responded, choosing his words carefully, "...unless you... want me for sonething."

He glanced again to the clipboard. "No, you don't have a scene for 35 minutes of more."

"Oh, I see." Actually, he didn't see at all, but there was no point in displaying that fact to the world. As he started away from the busy group of people, he gave a mental shrug to the "Does anybody know where Leonard ran off to?" that followed him through the activity filled building.

Mumbling to himself about his sudden loss of a perfectly good name, he attempted the seemingly hopeless task of finding his way back to where he had left the captain.

"De! Hey De." A hand grabbed his shoulder and he spun around to meet a middle-aged man saying, "What's the matter? Can't you hear today?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm...uh...preoccupied."

"Hmm." He glanced at his spring-type clipboard - everybody seemed to have one of these things!- "Well, I need the usual; phaser, communicator, medikit."

"My phaser, communicator, and medikit?" McCoy didn't like the idea of walking around an alien environment without his equipment, especially his medikit.

The man glanced at him hard, surprised by the resistance. "Yeah, you don't have a scene for over a half an hour, and we can't have the props scattered all over the studio."

The doctor nodded humbly and regretfully turned over the compact devices, remembering Kirk's firm 'Play along, Doc'. The man received the equipment with a slight double-take at their weight, then dismissed it and walked off through the maze. McCoy, however, was not that easily removed from his instruments and, with great difficulty, followed the man through the labyrinth to see him deposit the equipment on a large table covered in the greatest assortment of interstellar gadgets McCoy had ever seen. He mentally recorded the location of the table and fumbled back into the maze to find the captain.