Due to popular demand, this is the response to Reid's request from "Memorandum." Hope you, erm, enjoy! [Usual disclaimers.]


Memo

To: SSA Dr. Spencer Reid

From: SSA Aaron Hotchner

In re: Vacation time

Dear Reid:

It's about fucking time. Honestly, I thought I'd have to assign you to an agent exchange in Podunk for six months to get you the hell out of the office. It took you this long to figure out you're a human magnet for sadistic abuse and trouble?

I have to agree on some of your points. It's not like anyone else is having a better time of things. (Seriously, I think Emily's planning her wedding already with me as the main co-star. Means I've gotta break it off with Rossi and my 'other' girlfriends. Damn.) Between juggling enough time to adequately spend with Jack and dealing with every little tiny issue that crosses my path, I'm about to rent a room next to your mom's for a long stay myself. Perhaps I'll learn not to care when Morgan stubs his toe or JJ flubs a line in a press release. (I'll care, but hopefully I won't obsess over it.)

In all honesty, I can't see you as a fisherman. Or a mountain man. (Then again, I wanted to be a stand-up comedian, so there you go.) However, I'm certain the trials of the Great Outdoors will be much better than the constant sex abuse. I've been there myself, and I have to say your ass looks just fine. (Little flat, but fine.) I'm personally worried that the numerous scars I seem to have received from constant unsub attacks are beginning to show. I woke up the other morning and found a giant tattoo on my left butt cheek, and couldn't remember how it got there (or if I'd even picked the outrageous design).

In short, yes, Reid, you can take the eighteen months. I'll see you in 2011, hopefully refreshed and ready to come back to work.

Sincerely,

SSA Aaron Hotchner