Title:
Sacrifices
Chapter: One/?
Rating: NC-17
Pairing:
Angel/Buffy, Willow/Oz, Willow/Buffy
Fandom: Buffy
Time line:
This is an alternate ending to the episode where Willow gives Angel
his soul back.
Spoilers: Only for that season in question.
Note:
This story is the result of my sick fevered imagination.
Beta
Reader: Gremlin
Summary: What if when Willow gave Angel his soul back something went wrong?
Disclaimer: Not mine
PROLOGUE
" Xander!! Pay attention." She grabbed her old
friend by the shoulders, holding back the
temptation to slap off
the angry look on his face. " You have to tell Buffy to stall.
Tell her
I'm going to try again."
" No..."
" Xander, so help me if you don't get your butt over to
the mansion, I'm going to personally
feed you to Oz." She
growled dangerously through her teeth, " Now. GO!!!!"
She
forcefully pushed him out the doors, and walked into the circle. As
she closed it, she
could feel power starting to flow through her.
It was incredible, the connection to her
surroundings, her hyper
sensitive senses.
She sat down in the center, and carefully began the process of saving her friends lover.
She struggled back to her feet and leaned against the wall.
It was too late to stop the
ceremony. The only thing left to do
was use his blood to close the portal. The question was
whether
it would be by his volunteering or her killing him.
" Buffy!!!"
She glanced over hopefully at Xander as he
burst into the room. His face was caught in a
range of rage and
hate. If he was here then that meant Willow...
" Kill the bastard."
She inhaled sharply. She had prayed that
Willow would be able to pull a miracle out of the
hell mouth. But
when did the gods ever give them a miracle?
Lifting the sword
into her hand, she turned back to the man she loved, and started
towards
him. The bastard that wore Angel's face seemed
unconcerned about her, or even about the
blonde that was
currently standing behind him.
She smiled darkly at the vampire. It was time to end this, once and for all.
The
blonde twirled a crow bar rapidly. He lifted his cigarette to his
lips and inhaled deeply,
the smoke surrounding him in a last
rite. He looked over at her, nodding ever so slightly,
slamming
the crowbar into the back of his sires head.
The figurine in
Angelus hands fell to the ground, shattering into dozens of pieces,
scattering
across the room in an explosion of red light. The
blinding ball of energy engulfed them in
waves of painful light,
then retracted quickly into a third dimensional sphere over her
lover.
She crossed the remaining distance between them, and
launched a kick into his side, turning
him onto his back. The
vampire seemed to arch up in a silent cry of pain, as she slammed the
sword into his chest, leaving him pinned to the floor on the
embedded weapon.
" I'm sorry..."
His brown
eyes snapped open in painful awareness, not a hint of the demon left.
" Buff...AHHHH!!!!!..."
She stepped
back in a haze of confusion, unable to take her eyes off Angel. His
body was
phasing in and out of mass, it was almost like... She
watched horrified as his body seemed to
blend with a woman's.
She could make out a red haired female's body shifting in and
out of existence in rapid
succession with the vampire. She
struggled to make out the face of the woman, but the change
was
happening to fast for her to make it out.
" Bloody hell..."
" Oh god..."
She ignored both
men as the phasing seemed to slow down, and the vampire arched again,
howling in unimaginable torment, leaving a female with long red
hair in his place. She wanted
to go to the girl, to see who it
was, but a fear greater than any enemy she had ever faced kept
her
trapped in place.
The female lifted her head from the
widening pool of blood, and stared up at the sphere
through lost
green eyes, letting her look at the woman she'd just condemned to an
eternity in
hell.
" ...no..." She whispered softly, backing away from the green eyes turning to look at her.
She wanted to run, to block out the horrible death rattle in
the hackers chest. To turn away
from the scared eyes of the one
person she'd sacrifice her soul for. To let the world perish
rather
than face the current future.
" I...love...yo..."
" Stop it!!!" Xander shouted, sprinting for the dying girl.
The red orange flaming doorway seemed to explode
in on itself, sending them flying back.
She screamed out
uselessly. Trying to battle against the waves to get to her friend.
The light brightened, harsher, stronger, blinding her to what
was going on around her, even
as she crawled along the wood
paneled floor. The roar was deafening to the point of being
nothing
but white noise with no texture to cling to. Than it stopped.
No
light, no noise. Nothing. Just their ragged breathing over the quiet
neighborhood.
Wearily, she raised her head, and looked over at
the embedded sword. Blood. It covered a
hastily shaped area about
the size of her friends body, still expanding out.
" Dear god, what happened?"
She let her watcher help her
to her feet, ignoring the question written across his face. Her
eyes
were instead focused on the vampire that entered behind Giles. He was
walking towards
the sword with an expression that made her want
to scream out from the pain at seeing it.
" HOW DARE
YOU??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The dark haired teenager roared out,
launching himself at
the vampire.
She watched as Angel
simply let Xander knock him to the floor, just lying there lifeless
as the
teen punched him over and over. She wanted to stop him, to
tell him to stop... anything, but
she couldn't.
"
Stop it, stop it! Just stop it, right now!!" Giles ripped his
glasses off, yanking the angry teen
off the vampire. " This
isn't helping anyone, much less Willow. Now what we need to do is
figure out what happened, and try to reverse it."
" It's my fault..."
The whispered words registered in her
numb mind. Bringing back the earlier adrenalin. Buffy
didn't even
remember how she got from where she stood against the wall, to the
table she had
her friend pinned to. She only knew the sudden
homicidal rage that she was only holding off
with a thread of
rapidly fading self control.
" What. The. Hell. Did.
You. Do!!!" She growled softly in a distant cold voice that she
dimly
recognized as her's.
The young man didn't seem to
notice as he stared at the ceiling through streams of tears.
"
She told me to tell you, but...I hated him. I wanted him to pay, for
Jenny, for taking your...
I wanted him to suffer."
She
slammed the boy down into the table harder than was safe, but not as
hard as she wanted.
" TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!!!!!!!!!!!!"
" Buffy I don't think..."
" Willow
performed the spell." He whispered dully. " She performed
the spell. She
thought... She thought she could do it this
time."
Buffy backed away from the man that she thought
she could trust, the one person that she
thought they could
depend on. But now... now because of him their best friend was dead.
Except instead of going to a heaven dimension... Oh god...
" Buffy I didn't mean... I just thought..."
"
What!!! That you'd have me send a souled Angel to hell instead?!"
She clenched her fists
through red anger. " Don't ever talk
to me again."
" How...?"
Giles avoided
looking at the vampire as he answered quietly. " In the theory,
Buffy must have
pushed the sword through your heart right when
she activated the orb. Assuming that the
portal began to pull him
into hell at that moment, it would've been like a magnet, taking the
most innocent of the two."
" Why?" She
choked out through her tears, needing to know that there was
something they
could do to get her back.
" Because the most innocent is the most... tempting and satisfying." Angel responded hoarsely.
Giles nodded absently, " I
doubt there is much we can do at this point, but if there is, we will
try to find it."
" There is no try. We will get her back."
She glared at the young man, " Yes, WE,
will." She spun on her heel and turned to leave,
stopping at
the door. She slowly glanced back at the Xander, " If we don't
get her back, I
will kill you."
Giles shook his head
as she stormed out of the mansion, his own expression caught between
a
ripper like rage and pity for the boy. Giles could understand
the hate he felt for the vampire,
but at the cost of risking
Willow...?
" Give her time." He finally said. " She'll learn to trust you again."
" I don't even
trust myself anymore." Xander slowly walked off in a hunched
daze, leaving
Giles alone with the man that killed his lover.
" I'll try and contact Whistler, maybe he'll have an idea."
"
At the risk of repeating Buffy, if we can't rescue Willow I will kill
you." He replied calmly,
replacing his glasses. " If
you find out anything, you will let me know?"
" Of course."
Giles nodded, casually following the path of his two students.
" And Giles..."
He stopped at the door.
"...if we can't get her back, I'll save you the trouble and stake myself."
Buffy entered the house that had always seemed like a
sanctuary from the world that her and
her friends battled
everyday. She remembered all the dinners, and late night's they'd
spent just
talking on the sofa, or in her room. Simply living. A
task that never seemed harder than on a
hell mouth.
" I think we should talk."
She closed her eyes to her
mother's ' I know what's best ' voice, and slide down the door to
the floor. " Let me guess. You don't think I should see my
watcher anymore. You don't want
me patrolling or doing my job,
and I'm grounded until the day I die, does that about cover
it?"
She reopened her eyes and glared at the irritated woman that
had given birth to her, laughing
hollowly. " Well guess what
mother. Nothing you could possible do to me could be as bad as
what
I just did."
The older woman slowly sat down next to
her, wrapping her arms around her. " What's
happened?"
" I just condemned my best friend to hell."
CHAPTER ONE
DAY: ONE
She shivered under the heavy worn black leather trench coat,
forcing her body to keep
moving towards the school. The
reflective sunglasses was the only thing keeping her calm
enough
to stand being around the students milling around her, mindless to
the everyday dangers
that haunted the small city.
The
entire situation struck her as being entirely too surreal to even be
real. The bright joyous
sun singing out in praise of the fresh
green grass and the warm summer day. Each flower
standing proud
under the gentle sea breeze.
It was wrong, but a lot of things were wrong.
She paused briefly in the shadows of the
trees. Even from the distance she could clearly see
the slayer
walking stiffly up the side walk, with Xander trailing behind her.
Cordy was beside
him, talking animatedly to both of the teens,
ignoring the way that they seemed to be avoiding
each other.
She could understand how Buffy might be angry with him, or
how he could blame himself
for what happened. It didn't matter
though. If she had to do it all over again, she'd do it
exactly
the same. Just the idea of Angel going through that... No, she
couldn't have let him go
in her place.
She pushed the
sunglasses further up her nose, making sure that the shields were
close enough
to her eyes to block out the sun. If she was going
to do this, it was going to have to be now.
Grinding her
teeth together, she pushed herself off the tree and slowly began to
walk
towards her old friends. Each step threatening to falter
under the dread that she felt. She
wasn't nervous or even afraid,
not after the last thou... not after that summer.
It was of
a deep seeded dread of actually facing her life again. She could
pretend things were
normal, she could pretend to be the same
happy go lucky hacker that she was, but it would be
a lie, and
she knew she would never be able to go back to that.
It would
be so much easier if she could just change her name and move to
France, or New
York. Then she could start a new life, with no
responsibilities, no pretenses. Just her ghosts and
the memories
that would never leave her. But no matter how she felt, she owed her
friends
more that that.
Her jaw convulsed against the on
wave of chills, bringing her back to her present situation. A
place
she couldn't get far from these days.
Hell, maybe it wasn't
too late to change her mind. She could go home, create herself a new
identity and get the hell out of dodge before anyone was wiser.
" Willow...?"
Then again maybe not.
She came to a stop in front of the group seated depressingly
on the front steps, taking in their
appearances up close.
Xander's hair was without the usual gel and mouse, his face had a
dust of
hair from not shaving. Cordelia was as put together as
ever, but there was a seriousness that
hadn't been there before.
And Buffy...
She looked the worse out of all of them. The
already painfully thin petite was even skinner.
Dark circles
surrounded blood shot eyes. The normally well dressed girl was
wearing old jeans
and a faded shirt with a pair of raggedy
sneakers. But the worst thing was her eyes. The cold,
lifeless,
hopeless eyes that seemed to want to rip away any walls she had in
place.
The slayer stood slowly, staring at her as though she
might disappear any moment. The
blonde's hands were shaking
uncontrollably with the tears that streamed down her pale face.
Buffy stepped forward once, then again, throwing herself into her
arms.
She winced against the instincts that forced her body
to tense at the physical touch of her
friend. Despite the need to
be hesitant against any display of emotion, she wrapped her arms
around the sobbing girl. Every doubt, every shred of blame and
hate, fell away to the need to
protect the blonde in her arms.
" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never should have let you help me... It's my fault. I'm so sorry..."
She didn't
try to correct her, she couldn't. She couldn't lie, even to ease the
pain of the one
person that meant the most to her. The one person
that kept her grounded through the
summer.
" What the hell happened to your hair? Love the outfit by the way."
She flinched at the mention of hell, losing any interest she had in comforting her friends.
" I think we should talk with Giles." She finally said.
She stepped away from the
slayer, and walked past the stunned group. She hated doing this,
but
if she let herself slip, for even a second, she was scared she'd
break down. She pushed
through the doors into the hall, making
her way agilely through the crowded building.
" What happened to Oz?" She asked as they rounded the final corner.
" He left." Buffy pressed in next to her, " He was afraid of what he might do if he stayed."
" Oh." She had
expected that. As a werewolf, his emotions were closer to the edge
than they
were for humans, and if he even remotely blamed any of
them for what happened...
The library doors opened under her
hands, letting her enter the sacred place of her life. The
dust
covered, leather bound books that smelled of ancient ink and ancient
secrets. The dark
lighting that made you want to curl up in front
of a fire and doze. The friendly face that was
always there to
greet you, and help you with anything you needed.
It was a
life time ago, and yet, she could still recall the hours spent on the
second floor by the
window, just reading whatever book caught her
eye. The nights of research in order to save a
great less town
from a fate they deserved.
" My god..."
Her
head snapped around at the movement in the corner of her eye. She
spun to face the
elder watcher, cringing at the motion towards
her. She unconsciously stepped back from him,
her mind
automatically screaming that he was a man.
" I apologize. I didn't mean to startle you."
Great. Now he looked like he was going to cry or something.
" I guess I'm still a little jumpy."
She leaned back against the
wall by the doors, wearily watching everyone. This wasn't how
she'd
planned this, or even how she'd wanted it. She'd just assumed that
everything would fall
back to normal.
" That's
perfectly understandable." Giles cleared his throat awkwardly. "
When...when did
you get back?"
" And what's with the clothes?"
She smirked at the glares that Cordy
kept getting. It was good to know that some things
didn't change,
no matter what happened.
" Last week."
Again
Buffy was at her side, touching her arm to reassure herself that she
was really there.
" Why didn't you tell me?"
The
hurt was pronounced in her friends eyes, bringing out the last shred
of protective instinct
she had left. If the slayer had put
herself through even a small fraction of what she'd gone
through
over the summer, than that was a fraction too much.
" I
wasn't ready to see anyone yet." She welcomed the slayer back
into her arms. Cradling her
gently to her body in an act that was
comforting, even to her own scarred soul. It was calming,
to
smell the gentle vanilla perfume, to feel the muscular petite body
pressed possessively against
her's.
" Perhaps it
would be better if you went home. I can arrange for Xander to bring
you your
school work later..."
" No."
Buffy pulled away from her, and glared at the boy at the table. "
I don't want him
anywhere near her."
Well, that
answered one question. She sighed heavily at the obvious dynamic of
the group.
" I'm not going home, and I'd appreciate it if
you'd ask me before threatening my friends."
The slayer looked at her incredibly, resembling a fish. " You can't possibly..."
" Xander's my best friend. He's always been there to protect me, no matter what."
" He sure as hell wasn't protecting you when he sent you to hell."
" It wasn't entirely his fault."
Buffy slammed her fist onto the nearby counter with an angry growl. " If he had..."
" No." She interrupted equally
angry. " If you hadn't come to Sunnydale then I never
would've
been in that situation to begin with. If Giles had never agreed to
let us help we
would've been safe in our homes. If you hadn't
given Angel a happy then the spell would've
been unnecessary. If
Angelus hadn't killed Miss. Calendar then I wouldn't have had to play
witch. If Xander hadn't been following you around like a lost
puppy then he never would've
been so caught up in his own jealous
rage. If you had taken the time to realize it was you I was
really
in love with then I never would've tried so hard to make you proud.
If you hadn't
shoved that sword through his chest..."
She trailed off through her own shaking anger. " The
only
problem is, that playing what if doesn't change a damned thing, and
even if it did. I
wouldn't want it too."
Buffy
reached for her again through the silent tears that streamed down her
face. "
Willow..."
She almost smiled as the
warning bell went off, reminding them that the normal world waited
for no apocalypse. " We should get to class."
Buffy
nodded, and turned her wrist over to check her watch. " Wh...
Damn it. I know I was
wearing it this morning."
Willow
glanced at the slayers bare wrist with a strangely emotionless face.
Pulling her hand
out of her coat she handed the sports watch to
the blonde. At the surprised look she shrugged
sheepishly. "
I guess habits really are hard to break."
Without
waiting for their answer she left the library. She'd deal with the
repercussion of the
summer later, for now, she was just another
teenager wanting to be somewhere else.
" Willow?"
She glanced up from her seat
against the large oak tree. She had heard the slayer
approaching
a couple of minutes earlier, but figured that running was pointless.
Especially considering how tansies Buffy could be.
" About earlier..."
" You don't have to explain."
Buffy moved to sit next to her, " Just try to refrain from
taking
my wallet. I need that."'
" I'll do my best."
" I want you to move in with me."
Now
that was surprise, even she hadn't been expecting that one. " I
appreciate the offer
but..."
" I'm not asking
you." Buffy looked over at her with her own version of a resolve
face. " I've
been talking it over with my mother for a
couple of weeks now, and we both agreed that
when you got back
that you would stay in the guest room."
" I'm fine Buffy."
" No you're not, and don't try telling me
you are. Right now, I don't want you staying by
yourself, and we
both know that your parents haven't even noticed you were missing."
Oh, this was bad, this was very bad. She couldn't do it,
nope, it was to dangerous not to
mention bad. Very very bad.
There was no way she'd let her friend talk her into this, nope
never. She would not give in.
" Willow!!"
" Eep." She tried to
fight her way out of the restraining hug that Buffy's mother seemed
to
have gotten her in when she wasn't paying attention. Something
that was the blonde's fault.
Why the hell did she have to look so
enticing in a pair of old...tight...low cut...jeans?
"
Breathing becoming an issue..."
" I'm sorry. It's
just such a relief to see you. We were all so worried about you."
The older
woman stepped away, looking her over critically with a
motherly cluck. " What have you
been eating? Your
practically skin and bones. Well, we'll just have to fix that. You
girls go get
settled and I'll fix a snack..."
" But..."
She glared over at Buffy as the slayer dragged
her bodily up the stairs with her other suitcase
firmly in hand.
" Trust me, it doesn't do any good. When she's like
that, she's worse than Snyder." Buffy
grinned back at her. "
Besides, you could use some mothering."
She growled at
the slayer pushing her into the guest room, ready to make a break for
it. All
she wanted to do was to crawl into bed, and try to get
some semblance of sleep before she
passed out from exhaustion.
" Look, why don't you try to take a nap? I can have mom save you a plate for later."
She smiled for the first time all day and nodded. " Thanks."
" Hey, Willow?"
She glanced over at her friend. " Yeah."
" About what you said earlier. About you're..."
" Being in love with you?"
Buffy nodded, " Did...did you mean that?"
She shrugged nonchalantly, " I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't."
" I..."
" Don't." She swallowed hard under the look of love
in the slayers eyes. " I can't handle that
right now."
Turning from the hurt in her friends eyes, she began unpacking.
She
didn't stop until she heard the soft click of the door closing.. She
hated herself for
hurting the woman she loved but she couldn't
bare to let her get close enough to her for them
to be anything
other than friends. Not now, and not ever.
" How is she?"
" She decided to take a nap."
Her mother nodded, keeping her hands busy with the
stack of sandwiches she was making.
Every once in a while the
older woman would look over at her with a calculating expression
that would normally worry her.
" Did something happen?"
" I..." She had told her mother about
what her friend has said before she died. About what
she felt for
the babbling red head that seemed to always know what to say to make
things
seem less horrible. " She admitted her feelings for
me."
" That's wonderful." Joyce beamed at her
before getting a confused look on her face. " Isn't
it?"
" She wouldn't let me say it back. She said she couldn't deal with my feelings right now."
" Well, honey,
she did just get back from hell. You can't possibly expect things to
go back to
normal." Joyce came over to sit next to her. "
I'm sure that she just needs some time to heal."
"
Yeah, I guess I was just so caught up in the idea of being able to be
with her, that I forgot
that there were issues." She sighed
heavily. She was such a ditz.
" I'm sure that everything
will work out in the end. Just give her some time to adjust."
Joyce
patted her hand, standing up to go back to work. " In
the mean time, why don't you help me
get dinner ready?"
She nodded, casting a futile glance towards the living room.
All she really wanted to do was
go upstairs and hold the red head
in her arms, to make sure that she never lost her again
The sweat streamed into her eyes, burning horribly mixed with
the foul breath of the
toothless old man. She shut her eyes
against the sight of the face twisted in concentration with
each
invading thrust. The gasping grunts drowned out by the sounds of the
alley. Strays
fighting over spoiled garbage. Other women working
for enough money to feed themselves,
and their families. The loud
clanking of the hoofs against the littered wet streets.
The
wall behind her scrapped at her barely covered back. Catching her
hair in tangles of
nests. She winced at the clawed hands scraped
and pulled at her bare hips, giving him the
added friction needed
to grind painfully against her one last time. The nauseating
explosion making it
even harder to remain calm.
She
watched as he clumsily refastened his pants, finding the act just as
disgusting as the
other. The deformed, arthritic fingers curled
into talons, yanked out a small wad of bills and
pressed them
into her hand. His crooked, overly wide black silver eyes winking
lidlessly at
her, before sauntering off.
She shook her
head at the strange man's behavior wondering briefly if their really
was such a
thing as demons after all, but quickly dismissing it
for the bloody legends they were. ' I'd
better stop working
night's, 'fore that ripper nonsense starts ta gat ta me. '
" Excuse me."
She faltered at the mouth of the alley at
the musical lint that floated towards her. The
sudden fear of the
shadowed man, made no sense to her, other than the fact that he was a
stranger around those parts. Then again, he might have been
hiring other women, and with
the shorting supply of working
girls, the one's that were still able to work were in higher demand.
" H're now, wh're you t'lkin to me?"
The
tall lean man stepped from the shadows with a gentle smile on his
rugged face. There
was nothing handsome about him, but he wasn't
exactly ugly either. He seemed to be a plain man
with almost
artistic characteristics.. His face was shadowed from having gone
unshaven, and
his hair was mussed, with heavy waves. The smell of
turpentine stunk from his body mixed with
the paint stains that
covered his hands.
" I was wondering if you would be willing to do one more... job."
" I d'n't know. I've b'n at it all night already..."
He pulled a thick
wad of bills from his pocket and handed it to her. " I promise
this won't
take long. Just a few minutes is all I want."
" Alright then, let's get it ov'r with. I h've to be getting along."
" Of course."
She lead him to her small
room off the alley, too tired to care about showing her home to a
complete stranger. Besides, he seemed like a nice enough fellow.
She couldn't see him trying
to harm a living soul. He seemed more
like the pansy type, always being the perfect gentleman.
She
gasped out as he yanked her tightly into his body, kissing her
harshly until she felt blood
coming from her lips. She tried to
push him away, but his hands were bruisingly squeezing
and
kneading her body.
The sudden tear of her hair as he tangled
his hand through her hair, grinding her face even
closer to his.
She scratched at his face desperately, hoping to drive him away from
her.
Instead, she felt herself being forced onto the bed, his
knees prying her legs open.
She screamed into his mouth,
pushing uselessly against his shoulders. She heard the man
unfastening his pants then suddenly... No!!!!!!!!
She
bite at his tongue and lips, beating her hands against his back,
head, and back. But it
only seemed to make him more excited, more
needy, driving the sea of pain deeper into her soul.
She
whimpered at the feel of blood running freely down the insides of her
thighs and pooling
around her lower body.
Her mind
started to retreat as the long thin blade of the scalpel pressed into
her throat,
slicing back in a deep arch, cutting off her cries of
mercy. Then there was nothing but
pain...
" Willow!!!!!!!!"
She growled at the person on her, using
her strength to roll them over and pin the person's
hands above
their head. She opened her eyes to glare down at the...blonde. The
demon in
her seemed to calm some what at the loving gaze of the
slayer.
She let go of the blonde, ashamed of herself, of
letting her secret out. She closed her amber
eyes so that she
wouldn't have to see the disgust and hate on her friends face. Warm
lips
pressed against her's, requesting entrance to her mouth.
Unable to deny her friend anything, she deepened the kiss,
her fangs running over the slayer's
tongue. She slide her hands
under the slayers shirt, caressing the soft skin of her sides. The
slayer gripped her nightshirt, ripping it open, spraying buttons
across the room.
She shuddered as her nude body pressed into
Buffy's thinly clad body, wrenching her mouth
from the blondes.
She latched her lips onto the slayers neck, nibbling at the pulse
just below
the skin. Her fangs sliced across the vein, burrowing
them into the vein. The warm blood
rushing into her mouth,
filling her with a soothing effect that seemed to make it easier to
think.
Slowly she disengaged her fangs from her friends
neck and stared down at the slayers body.
Her eyes were gazing up
at the ceiling lifeless.
" Buffy?" She grabbed the
slayers wrist, searching for some sign of a pulse. " Nononono,
Buffy, come on. This isn't funny. Buffy?! BUFFY!!"
" Willow, wake up..."
Her eyes snapped open through the blanket of sweat covering her shaking body. " Buffy?"
The blonde smiled down at her, " You sounded like you were having a pretty bad dream."
" Y-yeah." She tightened
her hold on the slayers shirt, dragging the petite blond closer to
her. Loosening her grip only when the slayer wrapped her in her
arms. She pressed her ear
to Buffy's chest, listening to the
gentle rhythm of her heart, reassuring her that it had only been a
dream.
" Memories."
" What?"
She turned her face into the slayers neck, pressing her lips
against her pulse point in a kiss. "
It wasn't a dream. It
was a memory."
The slayer shivered under her caresses,
her breath hitching dangerously in her throat. " A-
about
your time in hell?"
She nodded silently, and looked up at her friend. " Make it go away."
" I would if I could."
She ground the full length of her body into
Buffy's, her lips hovering over the slayer's. " You
can."
" I don't think..."
" Thinking is
bad." She whispered claiming her friend's lips in a penetrating
kiss.
Consequences be damned.
NIGHT: ONE
The body laying on her's seemed to keep the cold at bay,
letting her find comfort in her
being alive.. It was such a
simple little thing that she'd always taken for granted. Body heat.
What is it they say? You never know what you're missing until
it's gone?
" I lov..."
She dived into the
slayers mouth. Quieting the words that scared her more than she cared
to
admit. She just couldn't handle any mental intimacy. She just
couldn't. " Promise me you
won't ever say that unless I ask
you too."
" What? Why?" The slayer propped herself up on her elbow to look down at her.
" When I
said I needed you I meant it. I can't explain it, I just... I need
the physical
closeness, but the emotional... It's too much for
me right now."
The slayer nodded sadly, leaning down to
chastely kiss her. " I'll wait for you as long as I
have to.
I should let you get some sleep..."
" Stay." She held onto the other woman desperate for the safety she offered her. " Please."
Buffy seemed to brighten slightly
as she settled back down against her. " You don't need to
ask
me twice. Mmmm. Goodnight..."
" Night." She
whispered back, letting her hand run down the slayer's back. She had
a feeling
that no matter what she did, that it was
going to be a long night.
Chapter: One
Night: One
She took a deep drink of the heady, warm thick liquid in the
styrofoam cup. The metallic
taste slid over her tongue in a burst
of exquisite flavor before going down her throat. The
idea of
drinking blood was still disgusting to her, but the taste, and the
instinct was incredible,
and unfortunately, very necessary.
She
felt bad about sneaking out on the slayer in the middle of the night,
but she had felt the
constant need to be out among the night
life. To feel the moon beating down on her skin, the
magic of the
air threading around her, bringing her closer to peace than she'd
find otherwise.
"...stupid...irresponsible...witches with delusions of grandeur...I should know too..."
She
grinned in spite of herself, heading off towards the mausoleum, She
could recognize that
voice in an ocean of jello with ear plugs. A
voice she'd never been so glad to hear in her life.
She picked up
her pace, intent on finding her mentor and friend.
" Fay?"
She came to a halt as she rounded the corner of
the stone building, unsure whether she'd
finally gone completely
mad, or if the gods had decided to play a cruel trick on her. On the
tombstone that marked Jane Walkers grave, was a black bat, pacing
across it while ranting in
the eerily familiar voice of her
teacher. Yet, through all the fur, she could clearly see the
striking resemblance to the gorgeous witch she admired.
"Fay? Wh-what happened?"
The bat in question spun sharply on
her heel and poked at the air towards her. " You!!! This
is
all your fault. You and your damned self-righteous attitude. Why the
hell couldn't you kill,
slaughter, and plot like a normal demon?
But would you? Noooo. Miss I'm oh so innocent just
had to keep
playing the angelic part."
She rolled her eyes behind
the reflective sunglasses. Some things just didn't change, no matter
what the decade or setting. " It's good to see you, too.
Now, do you want to tell me why
you're a bat? Or would you like
to stay here and rant all night?"
The bat tucked her
wings behind her back, dropping her head to her chest in a pose that
struck Willow as incredibly vulnerable. " Did you really
hate me so much that you didn't want
to bring me with you?"
" What?! No, of course not. Fay, if I'd known, I would
have found some way to get you out
of there."
The
bat plopped down onto the tombstone and began to fidget with a leaf
that had landed
beside her. " I know. They didn't exactly
warn you."
She sat on the ground in front of the bat, a
habit that she'd gotten used to over the years in
the hell
dimension; A young student caught up in the magic that only her
teacher could create.
" So?"
The bat visibly
regained her demeanor. " It seems that the Powers That Be have
decided that
my soul is worth redeeming."
" In the form of a bat?"
" Apparently they think it's funny to send me back as your familiar."
She laughed.
She couldn't help it. She'd spent so much time with her mentor just
debating
what kind of animal she might end up with for a
familiar, and one of the most popular ideas
had been a bat.
"
Oh, sure, laugh at the bat." The bat grumbled at her darkly, "
It's not like bats have
rights."
" I'm sorry
Fay, but even you have to admit that it's funny." She reached up
and scratched the
furry creatures chin, finding it even funnier
when the bat leaned into the caress. " Come on, let's
go see
if Buffy has anything edible for you to eat."
" I thought you knew better than to take strange bats home?"
She
quickly scooped up the flying rodent, as the other presence made it's
self known to
her. Angel. I was wondering when you were going to
get around to showing up."
" I wanted to apologize."
She held her arm up, letting the furry bat
scurry up it and into the inside of her heavy leather
trench
coat. " There's nothing to apologize for."
" If it weren't for me..."
" Look, I already told the
others that I won't play the what if's." She took another drink
from her cup, hoping that the still warm blood would calm her
nerves, Which seemed to be
aware of his very presence.
" Do the others know about you being...?"
" No, not yet, and I'm not sure I want them to."
Angel nodded,
absently running a hand through his hair. " If you keep sleeping
with Buffy,
she'll find out."
She smiled sadly at his pained statement. " Why aren't you with her?"
" I don't want to risk losing my soul again."
She couldn't
believe how dumb someone as intelligent as he could be at times. "
You won't.
I made it permanent."
" You're sure."
" Yeah. When the powers sent me back they let me ask them a question."
" It doesn't matter, I can smell her on you..."
" It's only physical."
She turned from him, trying to ignore the voice in her head telling
her
that she was breaking a major rule. She was almost glad when
he fell into step with her.
" Does she know that?"
" Yeah."
Angel moved directly into her
path, his very stature warning her not to disobey him.
"Childe,
if you don't plan on giving her more than that, then break it off. I
won't stand by and
let either of you get hurt."
She
stiffened at his order, her fangs sliding out of her gums in the
silent rage she felt at his
interfering. " Fine. If that's
what you want, then I'll tell her in the morning."
She
read the disappointment in his face, all too aware that he had been
trying to goad her
into admitting her love for the blonde slayer.
She quickly drained the rest of the cup and
pushed it into his
chest as she moved around him.
" I'll see you at the scooby meeting this evening, sire."
" Willow..."
She raised her hand to him, using his own trick to fade into the shadows.
" Well. That was fun." The bat smirked
wickedly at her, " So what are we going to do
tomorrow?"
" What we do everyday Pinky, try and take over the world." She muttered.
" Huh?!
She sighed heavily at the confused bat. ' Why me? '
DAY: TWO
" Don't I get a say in this?"
She ground
her teeth together harshly at the stubborn slayer's reaction, and her
mother... She
rolled her eyes. The minute she'd asked to speak to
the slayer in private, Mrs. Summers had
suddenly remembered
something she needed to do in her office.
" No, you don't."
" Damn it Willow. I lost you once already,
and I won't lose you again." Buffy began to pace
in front of
her in an increasingly aggregated manner. " If all you want is a
physical
relationship..."
She smiled at the thump
that followed that comment, along with a muffled curse that
sounded
like it had come from a certain curly blonde guardian.
"...then
that's fine with me, I can be happy with that. Admittedly, having the
whole
emotional intimacy thing would be nice, but I can deal."
Buffy turned to her with tears in her
eyes. " Willow,
please, don't do this. Whatever is wrong I'll fix it, just... give
this a chance.
Please?"
" It's not that simple."
Buffy glanced suspiciously at the bat that was
currently sitting angelically on the kitchen table.
To say that
their initial meeting had gone badly would have been putting it
lightly. At around
five she had been woken rudely to the sound of
dual high pitched screams, with loud thumps
of wood on wood and
animalistic screams of help. No, it had turned out very very badly.
" Then explain it to me."
" There was another...side effect from my merging with Angel."
" You mean other than the love of leather?"
She grimaced
slightly at Buffy's attempt to lighten the situation. The leather had
been an
issue that she'd tried desperately to explain without
telling them anything. But the looks at the
sight of her wearing
leather pants, boots, and a trench coat had been cautious at best.
Hell, it
wasn't her fault that her body temperature was so low
that she had to dress like this to stay
even semi; warm.
" I...He..." She sighed, " I'm half vampire."
Buffy
collapsed numbly into the chair she'd abandoned. " What do you
mean you're half
vampire?"
" I mean the only
differences between me and a vampire are the lack of demon, and their
normal weaknesses."
" Like sunlight..."
" ...and holy water." She added hastily, avoiding
listing the complete lack of weaknesses. She
realized that she
was every vampire's dream, and didn't really want to think about it
any more
than she had to. " My soul is permanent though."
Buffy nodded absently, " Alright, I can deal with that. I did date Angel after all."
She turned to the bat who
was trying to look bored by the conversation, not wanting to see
the
look on her now ex-lover's face with what she was about to say. "
Angel is my sire, and last
night... He's forbid me from being
anything other than your friend."
" Move to the center of the ring and shake hands." The bat muttered.
" I'll kill him."
" Buffy..."
" This time I'll kill him..."
She jumped in front of the
slayer, unsure what to do. Her loyalties were completely spilt in
half. " Buffy, he's my sire, and as such, I can't let you
hurt him."
The slayer stared at her incredulously. " Willow, he's trying to control our lives."
" He's my sire, he has that right."
Buffy glared over at the
bat once more, which clearly said ' I know you were behind this. '
"
Either come with me, or get out of my way. I am going over there."
She sighed heavily and nodded. " Fine. But if you try to kill him..."
" I know." Buffy paused to look over at the smirking bat. " Are you bringing that...that..."
" Her name is Fay, and yes I am."
" Some slayer.."
She quickly scooped up the bat before
Buffy could swoop in on her. " No ticking off the
slayer."
The bat hopped onto her shoulder, getting comfortable on the
leather coat. " Oh, but it's so
much fun."
" Fay..."
" Yeah, yeah, I know. No picking on the
poor, helpless slayer." The bat began to chuckle at
the
Slayer's piercing look.
" If she decides to put you on her hit list, then you're on your own."
The bat grumbled. " Traitor."
She stepped further back into the shadows as the slayer's
face turned red. It was a strangely
sexy color on the slayer, but
then again most colors looked sexy on the petite blonde.
Although
she did admit that seeing the slayer that color in the middle of a
very... loud
argument with her sire was more distracting than
anything.
" I should have brought popcorn."
She snorted softly at the bat's antics. " You're sick, you know that?"
" Thank you." The bat said proudly,
before getting caught up in the verbal assault taking
place in
front of them.
" You have no right..."
" As your friend..."
" That's right. My friend, not my father, not my brother..."
" I'm over two hundred..."
" ...years old...blah blah blah. Next
you're going to give me the
' I walked to school ten miles in the
snow in bare feet' story..."
" I'm only trying to watch out..."
" I don't need another mother..."
" She's half demon, she's spent centuries in hell..."
" Don't you think I know that..."
" You might know that, but apparently the blonde hair has finally affected your logic..."
The bat whooped loudly,
whistling her approval. " Oh, that was cold. It was below the
belt,
it was dirty. I love it!!"
" Don't you think I know what she's..."
She'd had it. Damn it, she
was in the room. She wasn't some third person they could just bat
back and forth like a tennis ball. " Okay, that's it. In
case you two idiots hadn't noticed, I'm in
the room."
" Willow..."
" Childe..."
" Don't.
Willow, or Childe me." She glared at the two standing in front
of her. " I have a say
in all this, if you haven't forgotten
in your enthusiastic discussion."
" Not if I don't say..."
" Oh, cut it out already." She scowled
darkly at the vampire. " I know that you feel the need
to
protect me after what happened, but I was returned here for a reason.
What, I don't know
yet, but I do know it wasn't to have you
control every single thing I do."
" You're right. I'm...sorry."
" And you..." She turned her
glare at the smug looking slayer. " I hate to admit it, but
Angel
was right. It isn't right for me to keep you hanging in
limbo like that, which is why I'm going
to take his...advice."
" What? Willow..."
" Don't. Please?" She turned away from their equally shocked faces.
