Disclaimer: No own here. Look for Rumiko-sama, maybe she'll say yes.
"Torn"
By Chiisana Anisa
They stopped for the night after she begged Inuyasha for half an hour to do so. Finally he agreed and left mumbling incoherent words to his chin, before only barking at her to meet him later in the clearing not so far away from their camping space.
When the others fell asleep, she raised from her sleeping bag and quietly sneaked away from the camp. It didn't take her long to find him or the clearing. So to say - five minutes of walking. He was sitting with his back to her when she approached, his silver hair flowing on the fresh wind she could almost feel in her bones. His ears twitched and she knew he heard her coming from a mile away. He always did. She also knew something was bound to happen.
He stood up and turned to face her. But she didn't do a thing, only looked at him with those big brown eyes.
"Why did you want me to come here Inuyasha?"
He didn't answer. Instead he stepped closer, a grin appearing on his face. She didn't like the way that grin looked. Almost evil.
"I want to know wench, when were you intent on telling me that you were to stay one whole month in your time after we get back to Kaede's?" he spat out, growling dangerously.
She shook from his tone, her mind racing to the moment in the hot springs when she said that to Sango earlier. "Inuyasha, you know I'd have told you anyway. I always tell you, don't I?"
"No you don't." She looked strangely at him. "And don't give me that look. Do I really need to refresh your memory?"
She shook her head. "I know I don't always tell you, but you give me no choice. Why can't you understand that I need to go back every once in a while? There is my family Inuyasha. I want to see them. I need to see them." she answered, her tone of voice filled with sadness. Just how many times did they fight over this? Every time they fight before she leaves and when she comes back they act as if nothing happened.
Inuyasha tumbled over the words in his head. He knew she was right, but it nerved him endlessly that she didn't trust him enough to come and ask. If she only did that... she doesn't even know he would just let her go. Willingly. But this way - he gets so easily rifled up over it and they fight. Every. Goddamned. Time.
"Don't sell me that shit. I know you have a family there. But a whole fucking month?!"
Kagome couldn't really believe that he was so angry. Why couldn't he just understand? "Look Inuyasha, you know very well I could just say 'sit' and go. Like every time I do. Why can't we agree on this just once?" she pleaded.
He puffed, crossing his arms. "Because you never ask me. You always run away." A picture of her doing just that reflected itself in his mind. He could feel a growl raising up his throat. "I could say yes to one week, but I repeat - ONE fucking month?!!"
By now, Kagome could feel anger stirring up in her body. Here we go again... "For Christ's sake Inuyasha! I will go! I don't care what you say! I want to see my family, I need to pick up with school, I want to see my friends! I want to take some time for myself. To be just me, not here, not haunting down the Shards, not arguing with you every single second of the day!!"
His ears pressed down his scull when her tone raised high enough to hurt. She was shaking, her fists tightly curled up in balls beside her and her cheeks red from yelling. But her words hurt the most. She wanted to get away from him. But he be damned if he should show that bothered him at all.
He stepped even closer to her, their noses on the verge of colliding. "Listen to me bitch! You won't go anywhere if I say so! And I don't fucking plan on letting you go for a month!"
"I don't care Inuyasha! I will go!" She turned around to go, but he was quicker than her. He leapt in front of her, crossing her path and grabbed her shoulder. Tight.
"YOU WILL STAY!" he shouted. She winced at his words and at the feel of his claws slowly piercing her skin.
Her eyes slowly teared up. Noticing that and what his hand was doing he moved it away, bringing it higher up to her cheek. But he didn't touch her although he wanted to. He hated to see her cry no matter what the occasion. Still anger ruled his mind.
"You won't go anywhere unless I say so. I don't care if you sit me so that I can't walk, you will not go." One lone tear trickled down, missing his hand by an inch.
"Why do you have to act like such a jerk all the time...?" she mumbled softly. He frowned, his hand still poised in the air. Then she looked him straight in the eye. "I WILL go. You can't stop me." She sounded so determined.
"Fuck Kagome! You will listen to me, not the other way round!!" he barked. Now, his mind was so angered, and he felt entirely pissed off at her. But she wouldn't back down at this. He knew her. "I repeat for the last time, you WILL stay!"
Kagome took one big breath of air before blowing up at him. "NO I WON'T!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!"
He had enough. He gripped her hair in a knot between his claws and drew her close to his face. He didn't yell. No, he whispered in a low tone that sent shrills down her spine. "Don't tempt me girl. If I say you stay, then help me Kami if you don't. And no fighting. I really don't want to hurt you wench right now, but you know how to push all the wrong buttons..."
His grip became tighter, it hurt her to move her head at all. Suddenly a thought flashed. Looking at Inuyasha with wide eyes she realized something. She realized she didn't know him as half as she thought she did. This Inuyasha, holding her almost viciously, this Inuyasha so angered up... She wasn't afraid of him. But she just didn't knew him.
Tears once again welled up, now coming down one after the other. His hand loosened a bit, but didn't let go. The look in her eyes scared him a little. She looked like a dear in the hands of its hunter. He couldn't smell fear, but something seemed so wrong with this picture. He couldn't figure why it came to this, but it did. Somehow, he always knew it would.
"Kagome... I can't let you go for so long. I don't even have to mention the search to you, do I? Is your trip so much important that this?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit unsure.
One blink was all it took for that odd look in her eyes to disappear. Now, there was fire in her eyes. And soon her anger matched his. "You know what Inuyasha?" she started, and his hand let go of her hair.
"You can go to Hell with your Shard search. You, Naraku, Kikyo... everyone! You can't order me around, and I don't care what you say. You don't have the slightest idea how I feel. I live in two times, two completely different worlds. Sometimes I even wonder why do I do it? Probably because I'm feel guilty and from the kindness of my heart..."
Inuyasha growled again. She was starting to sound like Kikyo. Her tone dull, emotionless at the beginning but then turning into passioned one, only with traces of hatred.
She didn't mind on his growling. Honestly she had it enough. Once it had to come out, why not now? They are already fighting aren't they?
"I really had it enough. I will go home. I say it for the last time. I won't give up on it even if you decide to..." she didn't get to finish that.
Inuyasha's hand flew to her hair again "Listen to me, wench..." but this time he wasn't mindful on his claws. Only a second later three red traces appeared on her neck, blood slowly coming to surface and going down her white skin. His eyes reflected a look of horror upon seeing what he has done. Even more so, when she stopped talking altogether he drew away his hand rapidly, his entire being shaking from head to toes.
He could smell her blood and it made him sick. And the fact he is to blame for drawing it... he felt disgusted with himself. But surprisingly there was no remorse of what has been done. That maybe scared him the most. No remorse... and he could hear a voice in his head saying it was about time. Time to show her that he wasn't her toy...
Kagome on the other hand could feel the pain spreading through the cut area. Her tears stopped coming, her mind still too shocked to register what happened. But reality hit her when she saw Inuyasha's claws covered in her own blood. And only to think he swore to protect her. From everything... but as it seems he didn't include himself. She whispered her primer thoughts, her eyes dully staring at him.
"I don't even know you anymore... I never did..."
Inuyasha raised his head to look at her, after hearing her speak so brokenly. Somehow she seemed tainted in his eyes now. Strange pride that he did that found it's way into his mind. He smirked not actually aware he was doing it.
"Damn right you didn't. And. . . you will stay."
Those were his final words before he leapt up in the tree and disappeared leaving Kagome to stand there. But her feet soon gave out under her and she collapsed on the moist grass, sobs rocking her body. Her hand went up to touch the wound and she flinched when it did. Pain grew even bigger, but this time it was emotional.
She didn't understand how this could happen... Where did the Inuyasha she thought she knew go? When did this Inuyasha appear...?
Most importantly - will she be able to stay around him?
She didn't have the answers to that particular questions yet, but she would soon find out. One thing was for sure. Everything changed now... Tomorrow is going to be a sad day.
She didn't knew... But tomorrow she would act like a broken porcelain doll and Inuyasha would be angry at her most of the day... but underneath it all... angry at himself...
Kagome was tired. A long day, full of walking was now finally behind them, but the side-affects were showing. Miroku sat down on the hard ground in front of Kaede's hut, not even bothering to go in, Sango following his example only sitting on the bolder next to him. Shippo was curled up in her arms, and Inuyasha, although seemingly all right was tired. She could see by the twitching of his ears. Sometimes when she had enough time to watch him, she did and only then would she notice all this little things about his posture.
Yes, she was one hundred percent sure that he was to sleep tonight, just like everybody else in the group. She was almost sure that any moment now he was bound to yell for food...
"Oi, Kagome shouldn't you wench be preparing food?" there he goes...
"I will Inuyasha, I will."
She sighed noticing the sad look Sango was sending her way, also picking up her boomerang to help her. Inuyasha noticed it right away and leapt from the roof right in front of her stopping her. Sango raised one eyebrow looking suspiciously at him.
"What now Inuyasha?"
The hanyou grunted, a scowl entering his face. "I think I said Kagome to go and make something to eat, not you too."
Sango only gripped her weapon tighter. "So what? I have every right to help her, don't I?"
An angry growl was heard rising from Inuyasha's throat. He gripped the bald of his sword while the fire in his eyes grew looking at Sango. "Look now wench, I said Kagome. And when I said that I meant her alone. She is to go and fix us dinner. If you don't like it I don't give a shit about it. Get it?"
Sango gulped and nodded her head numbly, seeing the tearing up Kagome in the background. She was sorry she wasn't able to do anything more, but she knew very well that she didn't want a fight with Inuyasha.
The hanyou puffed and turned around, anger still surrounding his form like a tornado. She wondered what made him so put on Kagome. But at the same time she asked herself why didn't Kagome say the word and ended it?
Looking back at Kagome she found her already crouched down in front of the fire, stirring up the water for cooking. Setting her eyes firmly on the girl she looked and searched. At first there was nothing wrong but then again... Kagome looked as if she was dominated by someone. Her motions weren't fluid as usual, more like puppet's and so slow. Her face held no real expression, not even the sad one it would usually get when fighting with Inyuasha. She looked painfully like... like...
Kikyo.
And that bothered Sango more than anything else. When Kagome raised her hand to put a runaway lock behind her ear Sango watched not really seeing. The hand moved away and only then could Sango see three long, red made cuts across her right side of the neck, disappearing into her shirt. Sango gasped and turned around instantly to look at Inuyasha.
He was perched up in a tree and although the dark has fallen not so long ago she could see him sitting on the third branch above the ground. His eyes predatory and set on every little move Kagome made. He smirked, before his eyes flashed to Sango and his quirked up lip showed one long fang.
Sango stiffened and sat shakily down turning her eyes back to Kagome. Thousands of questions ran through her mind. Why did the two behave as they did? What happened...? She hoped to find out soon, because this was one turnabout she didn't like. At all.
Meanwhile, Kagome sat there, her hand making circles in the water with the wooden spoon, her mind groggy. Inyuasha really did it this time, but she knew better than to go against him. He was so mad through the day, mostly at her. Even for the stupidest reasons he would blow up and it was always her to blame. Sadly she sighed, her hand softly touching the scar. Last night constantly went through her head, over and over again.
Her neck hurts even now, specially since she can sense Inuyasha's eyes on her. The scars seemed to prick every time he spoke to her, reminding her not to argue. She spent the most of the day cursing herself. She didn't say 'sit' at all. She could have and now this wouldn't be happening.
She almost did say it when Inuyasha snapped at Sango moments ago, but she wasn't sure if that would fuel him further on her sake. And she really didn't want a repeat of last night. Still those questions floated around through the corners of her mind and slowly she spun around.
Amber eyes in the middle of the dark awaited her look. She found herself perplexed at how much primal Inuyasha looked in that precise moment. Once again, she found that she didn't know this Inuyasha. To her, it seemed as if someone replaced him. Was this really the same hanyou she thought she had come to known and love?
Beside everything else, her heart was broken too. Because when you once believed that the man you love would never harm you... did... why wouldn't your heart break? She did try to tell herself it was an accident, that he didn't mean it. But that rigorous tone in which he had spoken after kept proving her different.
And the next morning when he yelled at her, she was so startled by her fear of him that she didn't even dare to sit him. And so it went... Now, looking at him from distance she couldn't help but ask herself... if he could hurt her even unintentionally.. why was she so set on believing that...
that...
...he didn't really hurt Kikyo that day...?
The end of Chapter One
An: Ok. I think that went well. The games are only beginning my dear readers. And I can guarantee that Inuyasha is going to do much worse than this. To Kagome? I won't tell. And expect a lot of angst, because I enjoy writing it.
When the story gets on rolling I will ask you one thing. But not right now. So, please if you feel like it - leave a review to show me if this is worth continuing. Thanks for R&R!!
Chiisana Anisa
