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Lovely Turmoil
I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh.
I want to hold you high and steal your pain away.
My heart has never broken but only has been consumed by the flames of grief. Like the phoenix bird I await for my heart to be reborn from the ashes. But it still never comes. It wont come back....ever. Now I can feel those words echo into my head. No. I can't replay them.
I look at her picture and sigh. She'll come back she always does...
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Her eyes are the things that haunt me the most. They were the only thing I could ever see while me made love. Her fully clothed body in the immortal picture taunts me. I remember the glow of her body under mine after I would collapse onto her. We'd lay happily together in our passion glowing with immense beauty. In those moments we were the most beautiful people in existence.
Falling a sleep, falling in happiness, falling in passion, falling in love....together....
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore
I can't take this anymore...
My feet hit the floor running across the expensive carpet that was woven from gold. My eyes start to blur...I can't breathe...I shouldn't be able to...
Not with out her.
The doors of my balcony are thrown open. The people in the royal gardens are all staring at me. But I don't care. I fall for support onto the rail of the balcony and breathe in the cold night air. It was crisp and not right. I can't breathe right anymore. Any air I breathe is foreign now. It will never be the same.
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
"GO AWAY!" I scream. All the servants immediately run as fast as they possibly can out of the royal gardens. But I didn't mean them. I meant this pain. I've battled Freeza with my father and grandfather. I've watched countless civilians die in natural disasters, I've been beaten by my father when I've made the wrong move in sparing with him.
But nothing will ever compare to this pain. She's gone...
"WHY?!" I unknownly scream into the night. Echoes of my sudden outburst bounce off the mountains in the distance. Tears escape past my lower eyelids. They had been lingering there for a few moments.
"Panny...no...why...I-I love you." The whispers come across my lips. They aren't foreign to my lips. I've said them before. So many times. I'd tell her every morning to wake her up. I told her after we got dressed when her hair was messy but in that beautiful, unique way. I'd tell her whenever she spilled crumbs on herself and never noticed. I'd tell her when she was sad or happy. Before, after, and during while we were making love.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
She's my support that's why I'm leaning on this railway for it right now. But something else makes me jump back up. It's my determination. My determination to bring her back to me...
I'm the goddamned prince of Sayains! I can have anything that I want in the world. I'm heir to this stupid kingdom, I belong to the richest family in the universe, I'm considered one of the most handsome men on this planet! I can have any woman, any possession, ANYTHING!
But I would give everything that has been given to me back just to have her. I would give up being an heir. I would give up my riches, my family, my life, my worthless life, just to have her back. Back where she belongs.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I'm dying. I can feel it. I'm slowly but surely dying inside. My heart has yet to be reborn. And I know it wont. But yet my soul tells me it will. It will when I get her back home. In my arms at night. With my fingers combing through her hair, my feet playing Footsie with hers, my skin touching hers. It was meant to be and it's right. It's always been right. How can she be so blind!
I will have her back. She knows it. She just hasn't realized it yet. She can run, but she can't hide, not from me, not her heart, not my heart, and not our love.
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore
"Your highness?" A voice interrupts my thoughts.
"What Percy?" I growl.
"I'm sorry to bother you, but you have a phone call."
"Take a message."
"With all due respect sir...it's somebody important. It's Princess Pan."
I froze. My eyes shot open in shock. Panny...
"Where's the phone?" I ask nervously.
He hands me the cordless phone. It's already on. She's heard my voice already. What does she think of me? Has she missed me? I'll never know. We must talk.
"P-panny."I barely choke out her beautiful name.
"H-hi T-trunks-s." She's stuttering my name. She's scared.
"I miss you." There I said it. And it definitely didn't hurt my pride.
There was a pause. Finally she spoke.
"I know. I miss you t-." I cut her off.
"Then why aren't you here with me. You know we need each other more than anything. You know I love you. I just said it to. I'll say it again. I love you Pan Son."
"Trunks just stop it ok. Why did I even call?"
"Because you know it's wrong for us to be separated Pan."
She's starting to cry now. I hate it when she cries.
"Trunks how can this work?!" She's screaming and crying now. Not good.
"We'll make it work!"
"Don't yell at me Trunks!"
"I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to."
She's sobbing now. Can't she see she's causing us more pain by doing this to us. She's everything to me and I'm sure I'm everything to her. Yet she wont fight with me. We can make it I know it.
"I love you." I say for the millionth time.
She's sobbing more...Dammit Trunks get it right.
"I'll fight." Those two words stunned me. She wasn't willing to before. I knew she couldn't fight us. She never has been.
"You understand now don't you?"
It was weird I understood what her motions were on the phone. I knew she was nodding. But it's always been like that with us.
"You never loved him. You came to me remember. We fell together. You defied the rules of your parents with this arranged marriage crap. You're willing to give up everything to be with me. Like I am with you."
She was sobbing more. Dammit Trunks, for her being the woman you love you know how to make her cry.
"You're the princess of earth. It's not like you're the next heir to the throne. You know that Goten is. You don't matter on earth Pan. You matter here. With me, at our home, in our room. It's not just my room Pan it's you room as well. You belong with me here. I love you. Now get on the next shuttle to Planet Vegeta. Come home to me Panny."
"No."
What?! What is she thinking. How many times do I have to go through this with her. We obviously can't live without each other. We've always needed each other.
"Why?!"
"Because I'm already here."
I look towards the door. She closes her flip phone. Her cheeks are stained with mascara. Her lips are full and red like they normally are but this time they're swallowing her tears making them more red. She wipes her sleeve across her face and manages to crack a smile.
Without warning she runs at full speed into my arms. And for the first time in months...I'm happy. I'm home. This was never a home without her and now I have her back.
"I love you Trunks." She cries out in joy.
"Finally you say it." She smiles at me again and kisses my nose and eventually gives me a peck on the lips.
"Trunks, you can put me down now."
"Oh no."
"Wha-?"
I toss her on the bed and straddle her legs. While she giggles in immediate defeat. She could never resist me.
"We've got five months of hell to make up for starting now. We're not leaving this room for days sweetheart."
"Good that's the way I want it to be." She grins evilly at me. Oh we're going to have fun.
Just like the Phoenix my heart is reborn from the ashes. The flames of grief have disappeared.
I am whole again...
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