So I've just been reading some really fantastic AUs lately (for example lost0and0found's 'Blue Blood' which I highly recommend if you're a Rory/Jess fan) and I decided that I want to get in on the fun. So I had an idea… why not a series of AUs where you guys leave me suggestions in the reviews! I'm going to start the ball rolling with something particularly silly, but drop a line on a character or situation you'd like to see and I'll pick a few and see what I get. As for now, enjoy something short and silly that just came to me.
Coffee and Bank Jobs
I'll always remember the day she walked into my life. A clang of bells as she sauntered past the tables of my unassuming diner, told me she was a dame I'd be remiss to mess with. Her lips looked bloodstained and her shoes were too tall for proper walking. If only I'd told her to hop on out the door. None of this would've gone down, and I'd still be alive to tell the tale of my mundane existence.
She must've had four cups of coffee before she uttered a single word that day. Normally I'd lecture someone on the dangers that much caffeine could do to your nervous system, but she looked like the kind of girl who'd cut your throat just for looking at her funny. Told me her name was Lorelai, which made sense. Ritzy name for a ritzy broad. I asked her what brought her to our little town, she said a car. I glanced outside to see a shiny red convertible parked illegally across the road, and I didn't have to ask who it belonged to. Maybe I should've, though I doubt she would've told me it was stolen.
Now I'm a man of many talents, but knowing what's good for me in regards to the fairer sex was always my weakness. Of course I flirted with her, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. My nephew was rolling his eyes at me as per usual, but that little punk knew even less about women than I did. It wasn't long before he stepped out and gave us some privacy. Damn that kid and his ability to read signals. If he'd just stayed to play chaperone, I'd probably be walking free right now. I'm guessing you could guess what happened next. You seem like a smart enough individual.
She stayed at my place for three whole days. I'm not gonna lie, those three days were heaven. There's not a person alive like Lorelai Victoria, I can tell you that. Her moods would flash from one extreme to another, and I was along for the ride. It wasn't like I expected her to ask me to come with her. It wasn't like I expected to say yes, pack a bad and climb into the stolen car. She held something powerful over me, did that Lorelai Victoria. Called me 'Lucas' when I allowed no man alive to say that name.
I can't place all the blame on her, though she was the catalyst. Before Lorelai I'd been a simple diner man, my only friends the people I served each day. After Lorelai I was a journeyman, and eventually we turned to robbery to keep ourselves fed and happy. It was me who suggested it the first time, though mostly I had in mind stealing some supplies from a store. Instead we held up the store in question, robbing the poor man blind and driving off feeling both terrified and electrified. It wasn't long before I'd forgotten all about my diner, customers, even my nephew who visited from time to time. As our heists got more elaborate, so did our relationship. We were married six months in, bought some property a few months later. We didn't stay long, of course, not with the open road calling us as it had that fateful night at my diner. Little did we know that the open road was not the safe haven of bandits and thieves that we thought it was.
It was about two years into our cross-country crime spree, and we'd just cased a joint that had a safe full of precious jewels. We wrapped each of them up separately in newspaper that had artist's renditions of our faces on them, ironically enough. We knew the cops were after us, they'd be after Lorelai since before we'd met. We were just smarter. Smarter, faster, more dangerous. In that moment we felt invincible, which is when the first bullet fired.
We didn't die that night, not physically. I'm still alive to tell you this crap, aren't I? Alive and wearing a bright orange jumpsuit for my troubles. Don't get me wrong, people wanted us dead. We'd probably be six feet under right now if it wasn't for Lorelai's parents. Get this: the biggest thief in the world was from a family who was completely loaded. I had no idea, and the press certainly didn't. When they hired the top lawyer in the country to defend their daughter and 'the man she has made the ridiculous decision of marrying', I knew we were safe. Fifteen years behind bars most likely, but we're not hanging by our necks. That's a win for me.
So you're probably asking yourself, 'was it worth it? After all that's happening to you right now, do you regret anything? Luke Danes, respected diner owner of idyllic town, turned stooge for the biggest thief in history? How can you live with yourself?'
Quite simply, I don't regret a single second and I live knowing that in fifteen years, maybe ten with good behaviour, I'm going to take Lorelai Victoria back to that property and live the rest of our lives in peaceful, infamous luxury.
So, that happened. A short Luke/Lorelai Bonnie & Clyde style story, because why not? I'd love to hear some ideas from you guys. Any ship, any situation, any characters! Seriously, even Dean!
