Authors Note: Please, understand that while I take the privilege of borrowing from J.K Rowling, that I am not getting anything monetary out of this. I do it to see the characters I fell in love with grow up, as I did while reading about them.
P.S. Some of the facts are the same, while some are a bit twisted. Read it: love it, hate it... Just review.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
-Headstone
Breathing became difficult for her at the sight of her childhood home. Hogwarts looked the same; same dark gray stone walls, same cloud touching towers, and the same people she'd grown up with.
The walk up the stone path would have been worse had the man resting his hand on the small of her back not been with her, but that didn't make this any easier.
...
All the memories of the war and death, it had been too much to take; too much to start a new life on. She felt that she had to leave if she ever wanted to make something of herself.
After Ron's death Harry wouldn't let her out of his sight. Shortly after graduation, they bought a house and moved in together. There had never been anything romantic between them, and contrary to popular belief they did not share a bed. It was comforting at first, knowing that he was always going to be there, but it began to be too much. He loved her more than life, but he wasn't in love with her. She knew the way he felt about Ginny. She had felt that she stood in the way of their relationship. He clung to her so hard, that even his romantic feelings for the youngest Weasley weren't enough to keep his attention. Hermione became his priority. He spent every minute of his life keeping her safe. He had even attempted to turn the pages of her book in order to keep the paper from slicing at her fingers.
She felt smothered.
She missed Ron. She had loved him, maybe more than she had let on. He was one of her best friends. He was always able to put a smile on her face, without even trying. He was naturally good humored. But boy did he have a temper. They used to get into some of the biggest, most pointless fights, in the history of Hogwarts. Most of the time they ended with one of them storming off in a fit of anger; either trying not to hex the other into oblivion, or hoping to get away from the hexes. Hermione knew her magic.
She wasn't sure if she would have ever let Ron know just how much he meant to her, wasn't even sure he had meant more than just a fried. But she did know that she would never get the chance to tell him anything ever again, and that it logically made no sense to dwell on what could have been.
She had run, taking everything she owned with her. (A few charms, spells, and incantations were all it took to fit all of her possessions inside a single weightless bag.) She wanted Harry to be happy; wanted to be around when he learned to smile again. But she knew that he was losing himself in the hope of keeping her safe. She knew he had to learn to live; with or without her.
Hermione had spent several weeks planning her escape. She knew she had to be thorough; she couldn't leave any loose ends. If Harry caught wind of something she didn't successfully cover-up she knew he'd grab hold and pull until her entire plan unraveled. Finding a way to slip unnoticed from the house she shared with him would be the hardest part. He had a tendency of waking at all hours of the night to check on her. She'd confronted him about it once, ready to admonish him for being so insensitive about her privacy, but the look in his eyes made her hold her tongue. So she had instead just casually asked him why. He seemed to sink even further into himself at the question, retreating behind the thick walls he'd built around his emotions. She wouldn't give up though, and he eventually told her; he just needed to make sure he was still there.
Throughout the researching phase of her plan, those words kept echoing through her mind. Part of her couldn't believe what she was about to do, the other knew it was his only chance; hers too for that matter.
She didn't leave him without saying goodbye, though she knew she couldn't do it face to face.
Harry,
I love you. You know I do. I'd give my life to keep you safe; don't protest, you know you couldn't stop me if it came down to that. It's been a year since the war, a year since we've lost Ron. We both loved him. We both miss him. I don't think that it's time to move on, that sounds too much like we need to forget. I don't believe that. We should remember him for the rest of our lives. But he wouldn't want you like this. He wouldn't want you so distraught over his death that you forget to live. He would want you to smile, to laugh, and to remember all the good times. We can't change the past, but we do influence the future.
I didn't want to leave this way; I didn't want to leave at all. But we both know that this isn't getting any better with me around. We both need to relearn what it's like to be happy.
I'm not leaving for good, think of this as a vacation. Go to the beach, see the ocean. You used to always talk about apparating around the world. To see what you never had a chance to visit before. I think you should do it. Take Ginny with you, I know she'd love that.
I don't know where I'm going, and I'm afraid that even if I did I wouldn't tell you. I have to do this on my own, if I'm ever going to find peace again. I need to be on my own, to know that I'm strong enough to go on after this bloody awful war. I don't want you to follow me; I don't want you to find me. I'll be back when I'm ready to return, but not a second before that. You have to let me go, and trust that I'll come back. I promise that I'll come back.
If you follow me, I will run. I will hide, and I will fight to keep hidden. Please don't put me in that position.
Love with all my heart,
Mione
Please keep in mind that this story is a work in progress. There will be times that I go back and tweak chapters that I've already posted, this can't be helped. As time passes in this story so do the facts and sometimes the best way to get everything to co-exist is by changing up the past. I try to keep this at the minimum, but I want to write a good story. A good story will take some editing.
The plot won't change and the important stuff will stay the same, so you don't need to feel like you need to re-read any of it. (Though you're absolutely welcome to if you want.) I just have to make sure that nothing contradicts its self.
I spent so much time… Writing this, for you.
So how about you spend some time… Please, just review.
