Botched Fate

(Keiri:) I'm already weary...

Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh. Which is probably a good thing, given the events of this fic.

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A/N: Dark, character death, blood... Implied YamiYugi

So someone dies, but who cares? Because it's slightly possible that two of the characters may have vague feelings for each other. Go figure.

"Did you ever think we would end up like this?" Yugi said, looking down at the love of his life.

It had finally happened – Yugi was physically involved with a children's card game.

He cradled his dark's head in his arms, one hand idly ruffling those beautiful golden bangs of his,

caressing his forehead.

Wait, blond? He's with Joey? And Joey is emo?

Yami gazed up at him,

Oh...never mind.

eyes wide, staring in shock and he stared back, smiling

softly.

Redundancy maybe?

Comfortingly.

Oh, I was right – Joey IS emo... but if that's Yami, where did Joey go? Okay, well, someone here is emo. Heh, somebody needs a huuuuuuuuuug~

"We're meant to be together, you know?" the violet-eyed teen spoke,

Wait, wait, wait. I just realized. Yami and Yugi share a body...so how is it that one of them is lying on the other?

"I mean... how else could it have

ended up that in that duel that was meant to be the last we'd come out in a draw?

Um...you not only share a body, but the ability to play a children's card game? And you probably have the same deck...?

That we'd both live..."

WAIT – no one said anything about death if you lose a card game...right?...right?

He leant down and placed a kiss on the cool forehead of the boy that look so much like him.

So Yami is borrowing the "down" direction from Yugi, who apparently owns that. AND Yugi is in love with a mirror image of himself. This deeeeeeeefinately makes sense.

"My Yami,

my Atemu... It was fate."

You annoy me, you said that already. Heeey, I thought the Puzzleshipping was supposed to be implied? I can't really call it that when the hints you're dropping are being thrown at my face!

A laugh bubbled up within his chest,

Yeaaaaaay, bubbles are entertaining!

but when it reached his throat it came out

WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, what happened to the blood? And death? Why all of the sudden is Yami getting a blowjob? That's not deadly...

as more of a keening

wail.

AHA! He's a banshee! He screams when death approaches!

"It was fate!" he shouted, tears dripping from his pale cheeks onto those of his other.

WE KNOW – wait, are you bipolar? You were happy that it was fate a second ago, why is it suddenly so depressing? It's not like you're married or anything. God.

"I love you, Yami.

I love you so much!

If you love him, why the hell are you crying all over him? Frigging leaky faucet.

It was fate... we should have been together."

You ARE together – you're lying on top of him for God's sake! I mean, you just gave him head, right? Are we just gonna keep going without mentioning that? ...of course we are.

Those eyes burned into him,

ACTIVATE HEAT VISION!

those horrible, beautiful dead eyes that stared at him in perpetual shock.

Oh great. Somebody died, but it happened so fast that even the writer missed it!

"But if it was fate, then why did I never get to tell you that I loved you?"

Stupid, he's right on top of you! Just tell him now!

He shifted slightly, the sound accompanied by the wet noises of his blood-soaked pants.

Oh my god, Yugi just got his period! He's finally becoming a woman! To the disappointment of all the yaoi fangirls, bwahaha

It was

uncomfortable, sitting in that pool of crimson liquid,

So... go change your pants?

but he refused to move, to leave his love.

You just don't want to admit that you only own one frickin pair of pants!

"Why did you have to leave me, Yami?"

He's been here for the whole fic! Psycho...

he whispered. "We should have been together forever. Why

did you have to go out so late?"

You were with another woman, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU?

Leaning down he pressed his forehead to the bloodlessly pale one of his other half.

But wait...he IS bloody. His pants are bleeding like crazy!

"You should have

been here with me Yami, not out with her.

I KNEW IT! Next on Cheaters, a Pharaoh who doesn't feel like his perpetually 12-year-old boy/girlfriend is quite enough to meet his sexual needs.

I was scared."

I thought she was gonna raaaaape yoooou...

Violet eyes drifted to the hilt of the ornamental dagger,

Is that a medieval slang for "penis?"

its blade sheathed in the flesh of his love.

That would be a yes.

"There was somebody in the house."

He's climbin' in your window, he's snatchin' your people up, tryin' to rape em', so y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wives, and hide you husbands, 'cause they rapein' err'body out there!

He raised his head again and smiled fondly down at the shocked visage of his dark.

He looked up so he could look down?

"You know, it was

your idea to buy that stupid knife it the first place.

What the hell?

'It looks good', you said.

Whoa, don't bring me into this! I said nothing...

'You might need it

someday, to protect yourself', you said.

I NEVER SAID ANYTHING! GAH.

Well, you were right,

I give up. Continue to lie and break the fourth wall as you please.

there was somebody in the house and so I

took out the dagger and went downstairs."

What if it was Santa? Or the Easter Bunny? OR JESUS?

"I almost stabbed you, you know that," he continued.

Omg Yami is Santa! Or Jesus? Or a bunny...heh.

"When I came into the kitchen and you were

there I thought you were someone breaking in.

If he was already in there, then he technically wasn't breaking in. He was just entering...and I'm sure he does that a lot in this house...

Almost stabbed you..."

But I decided not to, considering I love you and all. Figured it might damage the relationship if I took a knife to you.

Yugi's faced scrunched up.

He's concentrating on resisting those stabbing urges.

"What the hell were you doing out so late?

We established this – he was out with another woman!

Why, why, why did you go out

so late? You should have been home at that time, home with me who loves you. But no... you were out

with her, even though she doesn't love you and you don't love her. It's just affection. Just like, or lust,

but not love..."

For the love of God; get off my back, woman! No wonder I'm cheating on you!

"You had to be cocky then didn't you?

Well what else would he do, out late with some strange woman, play a card game or something? …. oh...

Joke about what I was doing with the knife

What WERE you doing with the knife? O_o

and I told you there

was someone in the house,

Yeah, you already said it was HIM, you doofus!

and you just told me that it was obviously you and that I should've known

that..."

See? Someone here is on the same page as me!

He glanced up at the clock on the stove. 5:00 a.m. He had been gone two hours now...

Wait, what? When did he leave? Why won't someone explain anything to me?

"Why should I

have known?

Because you are his self-appointed paranoid jealous girlfriend.

I'm not used to you not being with me, a part of me...

Aaaw, so yami was your first lay, and so you've grown so attached to him that you stalk him at five in the morning, and spy on him sleeping with other women? That's not normal...

and then, you weren't back until

3:00!

wait, I thought he got back at five? Did he magically travel back in time?

What were you doing out that late? You were gone so long I decided you were staying over

somewhere, maybe Joey's. I waited up for you, I always do."

He's creepy for someone so naïve and innocent...

"But it didn't matter, you were home, right?" he winced.

He's stalking Yami, forcibly living in the same house as him, and he even has a twitch? This kid is officially off his rocker.

"No, no... I was annoyed because you had

stayed out so late... but you had to be cocky about it.

And he's a voyeur, too. Add one more thing to the creepy list.

You told me that you were all grown up and didn't

need me acting like a mother...

EW, Yami! Don't sleep with your mother!

And then that you said that I was grown up too and that I shouldn't need

you to baby-sit me every waking moment..."

So stalking is the new babysitting? Remind me never to hire one...

The tears flowed a bit faster. "That hurt, you know. But I didn't want to cry... so instead I just glared at

you... and then you said that. You said it like you were completely oblivious to the fact that I loved you.

Like you'd never seen those looks I'd given you, never felt it when we touched, heard it in my voice...

You said with that stupid smirk, the arrogance dripping from your words, you said 'Or perhaps you're

just jealous?'

Well...aren't you? And if you're so mad at him, why are you still lying on top of him?

He hid his face in Yami's hair.

Ow.

"And that's when I did cry, and you looked so surprised by it. Like you

didn't know!

Blah blah hormones blah blah blah I love you blah blah blah i'm mad at you blah blah blah my pants are still bloody blah...

And when I turned to run back to my room so you wouldn't have to look at me crying, you

shouted 'Aibou!' and grabbed my arm. I was so angry with you though, so I turned around to shove you

away..."

This is quite the abusive relationship, isn't it?

"It was your idea to buy that stupid knife!"

The smile was completely gone as he broke down into sobs.

Why was he smiling? I thought he was depressed? God, I can't keep up with these mood swings...if it weren't for the fact that Yugi was having his period, I would think he was pregnant.

"It wasn't me! I would never hurt you! I

love you! But the knife... the knife was in my stupid hand, I forgot... the knife!"

I forgot I was holding a bunch of babies and puppies, so when I decided to go bungee jumping...whoops...

The sobbing slowly petered out as he mumbled to himself. "The knife... the stupid knife... love you so

much...why were you out so late?"

Aw, poor psycho. Now the knife is cheating on him, too.

Hours ticked away like minutes, Yugi as oblivious to the passage of time as the boy cradled in his arms.

The sun rose, and the kitchen lightened,

Wow, that actually sounds nice. Pretty, slightly romantic...

revealing the horrors of night,

...Huh?

highlighting the blood both dark

and red.

Oh my god! This is worst period anyone has ever had ever! It's eeeeeeverywhere...

At a gasp he looked up to see Anzu, one hand to her mouth, face painfully pale. "Y-yugi? What

happened?"

Well...the knife cheated on me!

He smiled at her, tears running down his face as he clutched his love.

I like knives. They make me feel all...tingly...

"Th-there was someone in the house..."

Uhm...what?

End.

Wait, Yami was dead the whole time? I WAS RIGHT – YUGI IS A LUNATIC! Why did the knife have to go and cheat on him? Because of that, Yugi had to take out his rage, and sexual frustrations, out on poor Yami! What a horrible way to die – some dude suddenly has his first strange transition into womanhood all over you...and your kitchen...

-an hour later-

I JUST REALIZED – YUGI GAVE A CORPSE A BJ!