Hello everyone out there! This is my first fanfic that I wrote by myself and my first post on here… EVER! I'm so excited!!!!! oo; If you do not enjoy inaneness… well… Giggles My story is a crossover of Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy X, and a few more later in the story. Please enjoy your visit, but remember- don't eat the Potatoes... and definitely don't feed the Turnips. Well, anyhoo- please comment or review it or w/e it's called here. Bon appetite!

Oh yeah! I don't own Dante, Trish, Lulu, Tidus, Wakka, Yuna, Rikku, Kimahri, Twister, or Scrabble or Santa Claus... I think that's it.

Chapter 1: I'm Dreaming of A Sane Christmas

It was a beautiful Christmas morning- snow covered branches swayed quietly in the cold morning breeze as the glittery, powder-like snow reflected the early sunrise creeping over the hills, making the freezing 6:30 morning much brighter than it really was. Inside the small, blue two-story house on the edge of town, Trish and Lulu were fixing a warm breakfast. The mixed aroma of warm pancakes and fresh coffee drifted upstairs and brought Rikku, Wakka, Yuna, Kimahri, and Dante stumbling in a zombie-like fashion down the steps. They all sat down for breakfast around the old wood table in the dining room, awkward silence permeating the room. Rikku was the first to say something, as usual.

"Was Santa here?" Rikku tapped on her juice cup and then sipped at it, waiting for an answer.

Lulu looked up from drowning her pancakes in syrup, "Of course he was," she smirked, squeezing the syrup bottle again, "I bet he left you coal."

"Nu-uh! I asked him for a Twister game!!!" Rikku gasped, "You don't think- I wasn't bad was I???"

"Oh please," Trish set her fork down on her plate, "Let's go find out before that little blonde girl mauls us."

They all followed groggily as an excited and very hyper Rikku jumped onto the couch and anxiously waited for Yuna to arrive and pass out the presents.

Yuna hurriedly sat down next to the Christmas tree and pulled out a medium sized present, "Wakka! This one's for you!" She threw it to him.

Wakka shook the package and then tore the paper off, revealing a used VCR box thoroughly wrapped in at least twenty more layers of tape. He ran to the kitchen and returned with a large butcher knife, proceeding to stab and shred the box into submission. Nestled deep inside even more tape and tissue paper was a brand new blitzball, shiny and crisp, and just waiting to be used.

"MY VERY OWN BLITZBALL!" Wakka rejoiced, hugging it. He ran over to a closet and pulled the door open, revealing his forty other blitzballs. Wakka began introducing the blitzball to all it's "new friends", which he had named.

Yuna and the rest stared at him nervously, "Alrighty then-" Yuna said and then turned back to the Christmas tree, "This one's for you, Rikku!"

Rikku immediately attacked the package, snarling and growling like a crazed animal. She ripped it open, shooting the new Twister game all the way across the room and nearly hitting Dante in the head. Rikku ran after and tore the Twister game open; wrapping the mat around her shoulders, "WARM…"

Yuna laughed nervously and a sweatdrop appeared above everyone's heads, "This one's for Lulu!" She tossed the relatively small gift to Lulu.

Lulu calmly opened it. Packaged inside was a former Moogle that had been ripped nearly to shreds and stuffed with candy canes. Lulu threw it into the crackling fireplace, "Stupid elves," she grumbled and fell back into her chair angrily.

"What?" Dante asked, confused as everyone else. He received no answer.

"…Moving right along," Yuna said, beginning to wonder what a girl like her was doing with loons like these, "This one is for Dante, and this one is for Trish!"

Dante and Trish took their presents silently and opened them. Both received a box filled to the brim with coal and a brochure attached to the top of the box beginning with, 'You've Been Checked As Naughty- Here's A Brochure Why!' They both began to read it quietly.

Kimahri got a popcorn container full of catnip.

Yuna began to open her extremely large Christmas present. It was taller than she was with a note taped to it that read, "Careful of Live Animal."

"HEY! THAT OLD LADY DESERVED IT!" Dante bellowed from his chair and then immediately grew silent, reading the rest of his brochure.

"That's not considered stealing!" Trish looked up to the rest of the group for confirmation, "It says one of the reasons I was counted as naughty was because I stole shoes from a store. I didn't steal them! I paid for them in counterfeit money, and when the lady told me I couldn't pay for them with counterfeit money, I knocked her out and then left with the shoes!" Trish cried in anguish, "I never got caught by the police- so that isn't really stealing!"

Lulu sighed and shook her head, the only one who was not staring at Trish in shocked silence, "Hopeless…"

"HEY! EVERYBODY! I'M OPENING MY PRESENT! PAY ATTENTION!" Yuna yelled and stomped her foot angrily. She tore off the wrapping paper, revealing a large cardboard box with a door cut out of the bottom. Tidus was curled up in a corner chanting about how the reindeer weren't scary and it was all a dream. "TIDUS!" Yuna screamed again, clapping joyously.

Tidus looked up shakily, his eyes wide with fright, "He said I can't come out or… or… he'll kill me. But only if I come out of the box…"

"MMMM! WARM!!!" Rikku purred, snuggling closer into her Twister mat.

Yuna ignored Rikku's strange outburst, "Who??? Who told you that???" She asked Tidus, worried.

Tidus shivered and dropped his voice into a low whisper, "Santa… Claus…"

"NO! NO! IT CANNOT BE!" Everyone screamed in unison excepting Dante and Trish, who were still reading there ten page brochure and muttering furiously to themselves.

"Yes… yesssss, "Tidus nodded gravely and shivered again.

"Hurry- we must kill him- before he tells world Santa evil!" Kimahri roared.

Tidus yelled in protest, "H-Hey! No f-fair! I didn't come out of my box! You can't kill me!!!"

Kimahri sighed in frustration, "Darn…He right… dang stupid box is safe regulation!"

Yuna began bawling, "No! This isn't fair! Now I'll never be able to see you again because you can't come out of the box!"

"LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!!!" Tidus also began crying uncontrollably.

"Uhmmmmm…" Trish said, since she had just come aware of the situation at hand after she had finished reading her brochure, "Can't you just go in the box?"

Yuna abruptly stopped crying and pondered this thought, "Oh! I never thought of that!"

Lulu sighed, "Hopeless…"

Yuna hurriedly ran into the box and hugged Tidus around the neck.

"Wow! Trish, I never knew you were so smart!" Dante admired Trish's intellectual genius aloud.

"Hopeless," Lulu again sighed.

"MMMMMMMMMMM!!! WARMNESSSS!!! MORE MORE MORE PRESENTSES!!!!!!!!!" Rikku yelled and began hopping up and down like a loon with the Twister mat around her shoulders and the Twister box on her head like a hat.

With help from Dante, Kimahri dumped out the contents of the stockings on the fireplace. Many candy canes and other Christmas candy rolled onto the floor. But in Rikku's stocking, a gold ornament-like statue of a shoe fell onto the ground. Rikku immediately pounced on it.

"IT'S MIIIIIIINNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Rikku screeched in a high-pitched voice.

"Okay, kid, okay! It's yours!" Trish covered her ears at the shrillness of Rikku's voice.

"Some Christmas morning," Lulu said sourly, picking up the candy from the floor.

Rikku picked up her little Moogle named Jingles and shoved him in her stocking, along with Dante and Trish's coal and the golden shoe. She lugged her (and some that weren't her) presents up the stairs to her room and closed the door.

"This was the best Christmas EVER!" Yuna decided loudly while still hugging Tidus… who was still crying over the evils of the world.

Lulu rolled her eyes and sighed, "Hopeless," She muttered and walked back into the kitchen to begin washing the plates from breakfast.

Kimahri pointed a sharp claw at Tidus, "If ever Kimahri catch you out of box--- Kimahri KILL you."

Trish backed away from Kimahri, "Uhhhh… Dante? Wanna play a game of chess?"

"No," Dante scoffed and rolled his eyes as he flopped down on the couch and flipped the TV on.

"Fine… never mind then," Trish sat down next to him on the couch and stared at Wakka, who was still introducing his new blitzball to the other ones.

Kimahri went back upstairs and Yuna went and found Scrabble, and then went back into the box to play Scrabble with Tidus.

Ahhh, yes. It was a very sane Christmas for all.

Next chapter might take awhile… I'm almost done with it in my notebook, but I'm a slooooowww typist. ; I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Nods