Author's Notes: Anyone reading this knows that Nickelodeon owns the rights to Big Time Rush, right? I just like to play chess with the boys, moving them around as I see fit.
So one night I was at the mall and heard a song that sounded like something out of a 50's diner. I suddenly had a vision of Kendall and James as rival gang leaders and it wouldn't leave me alone. The final product is quite a bit different than my original vision, but it was inspired by both Grease and Back to the Future, two fabulous movies that take me back to my childhood because I have such great memories of watching them with friends and family. If you haven't seen them, you really should.
Dedication on this one goes to PromiseMeTheStars because she is such a cheerleader and kept pushing me to continue it after I'd decided to give up on it. She's still bugging me with "Did you write anymore of your story? :D" Aranelle did the same thing, and I love them both for encouraging me when I thought this story had no place to go. Turns out it had two different places to go, but at least everyone will end up happy. I think. Because they always do in my world.
Gleechild gave me the push to start this in the first place. Aranelle made a pact with me—we agreed that if she'd write her Kendall/James gangster fic, I'd write this one. She made good on her end of the bargain, so I had to follow through. AND YOU SHOULD ALL GO READ HER FIC BECAUSE I LOVE IT AND I LOVE HER AND IT'S JUST SO GOOD IT MADE ME CRY. It's titled "Call Me a Sinner, Call Me a Saint."
I don't even know why I'm still rambling here. I'll shut up now. But thank you for reading and I hope you like it!
XOXOXOXOXO
The arguing had gotten out of hand. At first it was great to have Kendall back in their midst, almost like old times. Jo left and Kendall was a wreck, so the boys pulled together and tried to rescue him from his misery, and eventually it worked. The week after that was fun, the four of them hanging out and raising hell like they did back in Minnesota, like they did in Hollywood too, before Jo came along and took up all of Kendall's spare time.
Their dynamic had shifted when Kendall started dating. People were feeling sorry for Logan, but he actually fared better than Carlos because he and James became closer and spent all their time together. Who knows why that happened or what they even had in common, but he and James grew to share an unbreakable bond of friendship that Logan wouldn't give up for anything-not even for Kendall.
And that seemed to be the problem. Kendall was used to the old way of things. He had a blast when it was the foursome, but when Carlos was busy and it was just Logan, James, and him hanging out, Kendall got pissy. Logan finally figured out it was because he and James had a lot of inside jokes, shared a lot of memories that Kendall was not a part of, and Kendall felt...left out? Ignored? Maybe both.
It only got worse when Logan brought it to James' attention. He asked James to maybe cut out all the references to things Kendall wasn't a part of, to not make Logan laugh so hard or be so...James. Rather than comply with Logan's request, James refused and said "Kendall's a big boy, he can handle it. It's his own fault for leaving us in the first place and spending all that time with Jo."
So instead of making things better, James made them worse. He insisted on sitting in the middle when they were out somewhere, basically hogging Logan for himself. He purposely brought up events in the past that Kendall had missed out on. He even got more touchy, arm around Logan's shoulders almost constantly when Kendall was with them, and more recently around Logan's waist. When they all sat around watching T.V., James found a way to lean on him, sometimes with a head on his shoulder or a hand on his leg.
The worst part of all of this is that Logan found himself liking it. A lot. Every touch from James sent his heart racing. There had been feelings rolling around under the surface that Logan hadn't explored yet, and James' attention was bringing them to the forefront in a way he wasn't sure he was ready to deal with-though he might have been if he thought James felt the same. It was bad because he wanted more of it, but he knew James was doing it all for show, in an attempt to piss Kendall off. It was like James was laying claim without actually wanting it, and it wasn't fair. It was screwing with Logan's head, and more importantly, his heart.
And he was tired of it.
So more and more Logan had been disappearing, turning down offers to go places with the guys. He actually asked James to go to the movies with him at one point, just James, because he wanted to test him; he needed to know if James would still be so touchy and attentive if Kendall wasn't around. The second Kendall found out about it, though (thanks to Carlos), Kendall insisted on tagging along and James started that...thing he does. The smug face, the expression that dared Kendall to say something about the way he was hogging Logan, the ridiculous smirk he wore whenever Kendall looked their way. So a few minutes before they were due to leave, Logan faked a stomachache and suggested the boys go without him. Immediately they both wanted to stay home and take care of him, so when they were in the kitchen he sneaked out and searched for a place to be alone.
He ended up in the basement. It was peaceful, quiet, and other than the occasional serviceman or Buddha Bob coming down to his tiny corner office, he was left alone with his thoughts. He received text after text from both James and Kendall, and later Carlos, asking where he was and if he was okay. Finally he answered that he was fine and needed some time alone. After that James was the only one who kept texting him, asking where he was and if he could come talk to him, and even calling him a few times, but Logan had had enough.
Since that day Logan had spent more and more time in the basement, reading books or playing video games or doing anything that got him away from the ridiculous arguing that started after that faked stomachache. It seemed that Kendall and James blamed each other for Logan's need to be alone, so of course the fighting over him got even worse.
One good thing came out of all of it, though. Logan built a time machine.
He spied an old phone booth shoved up against a wall of the basement and it made him think of Harry Potter, Doctor Who, and Bill and Ted all at once. After staring at the stupid thing for a couple of days with his brain churning, Logan set to work in earnest, reading everything he could about time travel and the science behind it. It became an obsession for a week, and then one day it was like a lightbulb going on over his head. He got it. He knew exactly how to make it happen. Scientists had been trying for centuries to figure it out; it took Logan a week once he put his mind to it. It wouldn't be easy, but Logan knew exactly how to build a working time machine.
So he did. For a month he was down in that basement every day, squeezing time in wherever he could between rehearsals and recording and performances. School was out for the summer, so there was nothing to worry about on that score. Everyone asked where he kept disappearing to, but he kept his mouth shut about it and begged Buddha Bob to do the same after being seen in the basement repeatedly. He had the parts delivered to Buddha Bob as well, and in about six weeks Logan had what he felt would be a real live working time machine.
What he hasn't had yet is the guts to try it out. He knows it's going to change everything—the band first and foremost, because he's going to be famous on his own, his name known all over the world once he goes public with this. It excites him, thrills him to think about it, to know he did this all on his own, and the praise he will receive...at least a Nobel prize. All he ever wanted to be was a doctor, but fame in the world of science isn't too shabby, either.
Part of him is afraid to do this, though, because he knows it's going to break up the band. How could it not? He's going to be hounded for interviews and appearances and...well, basically all the things Gustavo wants for Big Time Rush, only he'll be doing it alone. He'll be ruining James' dream at the same time, because the band is finally getting somewhere. That's what's holding him back, the idea that when this breaks, the band will be no more—unless they replace him, which would be easy; there's been talk of replacing Logan from day one.
And that hurts. Not so much that he'd be replaced in the band, but that someone else would be part of the friendship that means everything to him. He's always known they'd all grow up and go their separate ways someday, and it's something he dreads. Secretly he loves being the one they need when they're in trouble. True, it's Kendall that gets them out of most jams, but the first thing Kendall does in those situations is ask Logan for "options." And when Kendall decides on a game plan, they each have their role to play, and it just doesn't work without the four of them. But it might work if there was somebody new to take his place, and he's not sure he's ready to give up his place just yet.
And then there's James. What exactly is going on with James? James is worried about him, Logan knows that much, but so is Kendall, and there's no way Kendall's feelings are more than friendship. That's probably all it is with James, too, and Logan needs to let that go. It's just...they were on the verge of something. He felt it, they were right there heading into something that might be everything Logan's ever wanted without even realizing it, and then Jo left and everything changed again. It did cause James to be more attentive, but for what reason? Logan misses the nights spent alone with James on the couch, playing video games or watching TV or surfing the net; he wasn't quite as touchy then, but at least Logan knew he was there because he wanted to be—not because he was trying to make Kendall jealous. Somewhere the focus shifted from him to Kendall, and in Kendall's case from him to James, and now it's all about making the other suffer. Carlos is hardly ever around anymore, having finally found a girlfriend. Katie and Mrs. Knight keep finding reasons to be out when Carlos isn't there, and Logan knows it's because of the constant animosity between James and Kendall.
But is he really ready to lose all of it? To give up any chance of something happening with James? Once he becomes famous in his own right, James will resent him. He would still be a friend, still be there in Logan's life (hopefully), but he would resent Logan having what he's always wanted.
All of these thoughts are spinning in his head as he makes his way toward the kitchen for breakfast, wondering if there's any of his favorite cereal left. James' voice floats to him from the living room, and when he hears it he halts. James and Kendall are arguing yet again, and it's not even ten o'clock in the morning.
"My fault? How is it my fault?"
"You're being too clingy with him!" Kendall answers. "It's no wonder he's never around anymore, he's afraid you're going to smother him. I'd disappear all the time, too."
"He's never complained to me about it bothering him," James replies smugly.
"Of course not, he's not gonna say it to your face, he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Whatever's going on with you, he wants no part of it."
"Oh, really? He told you that?"
"He doesn't have to. I'm his best friend, I know him better than anyone."
"Actually, Kendall, I'm his best friend now. And that's the problem here, you're jealous."
"I am not jealous!"
"You so are! And it's totally your fault because you stopped hanging around with us, so we got close and it turns out we make a pretty good team."
Kendall rolls his eyes. "So what? I'm not allowed to have a girlfriend?"
"I don't care what you do. But Logan's my best friend now and you're not changing that, so you might as well give up."
It's not a contest. They're being ridiculous. Logan starts walking again, almost out of the hallway when Kendall's next words make him freeze.
"Well, it makes things easier that you don't care what I do, because I'm moving back to Minnesota."
James is just as surprised as Logan. "You're what?"
"I'm going home. And I'm taking Logan with me."
Logan watches James' face drain of color. "You're not taking Logan anywhere."
"Sorry, James. I am. He's not happy here. He never wanted this, it was all for you and your dream. Now we're famous enough that you can have your dream on your own, get some sort of solo career going. I've already talked to Gustavo about it, and he's not happy but he says he can make it work."
"You...you're breaking up the band?"
"What band? All we do is fight anymore. Carlos is wrapped up in his girlfriend, Logan keeps disappearing to who knows where whenever he needs space from you-"
"From you, you mean."
"No, from you. Which is why I know he'll be happier in Minnesota, following his own dream of being a doctor."
"Kendall, Logan isn't going anywhere."
"I'm afraid he is. I'm sorry, James, but it's your fault it got to this point. You kept pushing him too hard for something he didn't want, and he's uncomfortable around you now."
"That's not true, I would know if he was upset with me."
"No, you wouldn't. You're blind when it comes to that."
"Your mom wouldn't agree to this. They all made a pact that she would watch over us out here; she's not leaving me or Carlos."
"We've already talked it over. Carlos' mom is willing to come out here and take her place. Katie will be pissed, but it's not about her. It's about Logan."
"And about you. Because all you want to do is play hockey."
"Is that wrong? I don't even like it out here anymore."
"Oh, since when? You were fine when you had Jo."
"And now I don't. I'm not fine, I'm miserable, and so is Logan. We're going home, James. I'm sorry."
"Logan...agreed to this?"
"He will when I talk to him. We both know that, James."
This is too much. It's just too much. Kendall's decided to take Logan home? Logan's confused about a lot of things right now, but one thing he does know is he's not going anywhere that James isn't. He steps forward to have his say but the look on James' face stops him yet again. James is close to tears, and it stuns Logan; maybe there was more to James' actions than a desire to make Kendall suffer.
"Oh, you're here! I thought you went to your secret hiding place already." Kendall bites his lip, obviously wondering how much Logan heard of that.
James looks over with wide eyes, embarrassed. He glares at Kendall, then walks past Logan.
"James, wait!" When he puts a hand on James' arm to stop him, James shakes it off angrily and keeps going until they hear his bedroom door slam.
"What the hell are you doing?" Logan asks Kendall.
"Trying to help you. You're miserable here."
"Because you two never stop fighting! I'm sick of it!"
"I know, and I'm sorry, but things will be better once we get back home to Minnesota. We can live normal lives again."
"Kendall, I'm not going anywhere. Not without James and Carlos."
"Yes, you are. I know the idea seems hard right now, but once you think about it you'll realize I'm right. James is driving you crazy, isn't he?"
Not the way you think he is. "You really think you can make my decisions for me?"
"No, but I know you'll see it my way once you give it more thought."
"I'm done talking to you right now." Logan rushes down the hall and bangs on James' door. When there's no answer, he tries again. "James, open the door. It's me."
"Go away! Go live your happy life with your best friend!"
"You're being ridiculous. Open the door."
"Leave me alone!"
"James, please! Let me talk to you."
"Just go away."
"It's not like Kendall says!"
"Whatever. I don't even care if you go. Just leave me alone."
Oh. Wow. You don't even care. That hurts more deeply than Logan ever could've imagined, and he steps back.
"Logan-" Kendall starts.
Logan holds up a hand. "Not now. Don't even think about talking to me right now."
It's time. What was holding him back is the fear of breaking up the friendship, but now it looks like that's no longer a worry at all. It's going to happen whether he uses that damn machine or not. Today is a good day to test it out, to get away from everyone.
"Dude, just listen-"
"No. You listen. I'm going to be gone all day, I won't be answering texts or calls and I'm not telling you where I'm going, so don't even ask. I should be home tonight sometime." Hopefully.
"Logan, you can't keep doing this. Just disappearing like this. We worry about you, we hate not knowing where you are and even Mom is starting to grill me about it. Is there some girl we don't know about? That would make sense, at least."
"And you say James is blind?" Shaking his head, Logan turns his back on Kendall and walks toward their bedroom.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. Just let me be for a while, okay?" Logan's mind is already on what he'll need for the trip. He's been storing things in a drawer for the past week, getting ready for this very moment. He strips off his t-shirt and pulls on a plaid button-down. The jeans should be okay, no one's going to look too closely at them. Same with his boxers. He pulls out a new pair of tennis shoes that were a common style back in the 1950's and slips them on. The watch. Hmm. He'll have to hide it in his pocket.
"Dude...think about Minnesota. I think we'd be happier back home."
"I think I'm going to be happy wherever James is. And that's something you need to accept." Logan pockets a small flashlight and his phone charger, then grabs a light jacket that will blend in pretty well.
After a long silence, Kendall finally speaks. "Are you saying you're into James? Like that?"
Logan runs it through his head. Is there anything else he'll need? Maybe a pen and a notebook, in case he has to do rapid calculations and his phone doesn't work.
"Logan?"
"I'm saying I don't know. But...maybe. I think...yeah. Maybe. Look, I gotta go. It's almost ten o'clock, I'm wasting time."
"Where are you going?"
"Not telling you. But..." Logan suddenly pulls Kendall in for a hug.
Kendall hugs him back. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"A lot on my mind. Have you seen Katie?" Logan steps back and looks around as if she'll suddenly appear.
"She's down at the pool."
"Okay, I gotta go. Do me a favor, though? Make sure James is okay. He won't talk to me right now, and I know he's pissed at you, but once he calms down he'll probably talk to you. Don't tell him what I said, though. I'm pretty sure his feelings for me aren't like that."
"Fine, just...Logan, what's going on? You've been acting weird for weeks now."
"I'll tell you everything tonight, okay? Promise. Just take care of James until then. Carlos is gone?"
"Yeah, he met his girl for breakfast. When will you be home?"
"Sometime tonight. Wait, there's a key! For their room." Logan rushes out to the kitchen and digs in a drawer until he comes up with a ring of keys. He finds the one he thinks is for the room James and Carlos share. "Let me talk to him alone."
"Fine."
Logan unlocks the door to find James sleeping on his bed. The trail of tear tracks on his cheeks breaks Logan's heart. He sits down gently on the edge of the bed and runs a hand over James' hair before leaning down to kiss him on the cheek. "I'll be back," he whispers. "Promise."
James stirs slightly but doesn't open his eyes.
"We'll talk tonight. Clear everything up. And then you might actually want me to move to Minnesota." The thought makes him sad, the idea that James might end up wishing he wasn't here because things would be awkward.
Nothing from James. Logan sighs and squeezes his shoulder, then stands up.
Three minutes later he's down at the pool looking for Katie. He pulls her aside to a deserted corner. "I built a time machine and I'm going to test it out right now. If I don't make it back for some reason, I wanted someone to know."
After taking a second to process what Logan said, Katie nods. "Can I come?"
"No, I need you here to tell everyone what happened in case I don't come back tonight."
"Yeah, you could die."
Though Logan has already considered that possibility, it still shakes him up to hear it put so baldly. "Right. So if I'm not back by tomorrow morning, tell your mom what happened."
"Where are you going? Or...when?"
"The '50's. Not too crazy, but far enough back to say I really did it."
"Okay, just remember what happened in Back to the Future."
"What happened in Back to the Future?"
"He changed the past and almost erased himself from existence. Don't mess with your parents. Or should I say, your grandparents. And don't mess with mine, either!"
"Deal." Logan hugs Katie tight. "And if uh...anything does happen? Take care of James for me."
Katie grins. "Deal. Now go make history!"
He's terrified, but more than that he's terribly excited. He triple-checks everything, going over the science in his head a few more times before stepping inside the machine and closing the doors. One last look at the basement around him, and then he's gone.
