The Great and Troubled Love

Chapter 1. The loss

It was a cloudy day and looked as if it was going to rain. A girl was still in bed sleeping. Next to her was an alarm clock which read 5:00am. Suddenly the alarm clock started ringing loudly to wake Ginny, who was next to the girl.

"Hermione, Hermione wake up. We're going to be late". She shook the girl. "Mmm...What is it," I said.

"We're going to be late for breakfast."

"Alright, alright I'll get up for goodness sake". I got out of bed and went down to breakfast with Ginny.

"Hermione, you need to stop whispering his name for god's sake." I turned and looked at Ginny with an odd expression. She really didn't know what she was talking about.

"What are you saying?"

"Oh come on, you know what I'm talking about. Ever since the summer, all you've been doing is whispering his name."

"Whose name are you talking about," I asked her.

"Wow, you really try to be so innocent. You idiot, you keep on whispering Remus' name every night and I must tell you I'm really worried. You really need to move on for god's sake." I was taken back by what she said, did I really whisper his name in my sleep? but I guess I might have. "Hello, earth to Hermione!" She was waving her hand in front of my face.

"Ginny stop that, and I can't control my voice when I'm asleep." I told her with a bit of annoyance in my voice. As we ate breakfast, Harry and Ron entered the Great Hall. They looked tired and I wasn't surprised. We've only begun classes a week ago. Dumbledore hasn't even been at Hogwarts since our arrival. Harry and Ron have been the usual and homework has been piling up as usual too.

"Hey, Hermione,"Harry said. "Hermione, will you finish my essay for Snape? Harry asked after breakfast. "I have quidditch practice or else I would have done it myself." he said. I took a deep breath and told him I'll do it. And besides, I thought, I was going to the library so I can finish my remaining homework anyway.

It was already evening and the sky was cloudier than ever. This weather had stirred memories of that day when he finally said he loved and then he was taken from me forever.

It all started in my 5th year, when Harry, Ron, and I were at Grimmauld Place. I had a lot of time to spend with Remus and we became close friends. And then there's that one treacherous night that I'll never forget.

Flashback

It was in the summer when Remus actually had time for me, since he was busy going under cover for Dumbledore as a supporter of Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf who bit Remus when he was a kid. He decided to take me to the park since that afternoon. Remus and I were talking about what I should take on for my job. I wasn't interested in the conversation, we both knew what we really had come here for. I've been pursuing him to take me somewhere so I could tell him my feelings without everyone around. I wanted to tell him, I only wanted to be with him but he already knew I liked him, and had told me that he's much too old, poor and dangerous for me, but I refused to accept it. That night we had a fight and I wished I had never done that.

"Remus, why don't you understand?" I said with anger rising to my cheeks. "No Hermione, you need to understand that you are much too young and you have a whole life ahead of you." he said it as if i was a child in time out. "No I'm not, Remus, I'm not too young to understand that I'm in love with you." tears formed in my eyes.

Sure I was only sixteen but this feeling isn't a feeling like a stupid crush, it was deeper. He turned to face the trees, which meant he didn't want to listen, and it only made me angrier at him. I wasn't going to just stand there and give up on what I loved.

"Hermione, this isn't the right time you know, with the war going on." he said his back still to me.

"What? Is that what you think?" I moved to face him. "Since when has it ever been the right time for us to talk, huh?" I now sized up to his robes "Remus, please think this over. I need you more than ever and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I said making eye contact but he broke it refusing to even look at me. I started to walk away, it felt ridiculous when he wasn't even going to listen but that's when something caught me by the arm and I was pulled back.

"I'm sorry, Hermione but I can't, I mean I indeed love you but Hermione, I won't last long." he spoke with truth spilling from his mouth, I turn to face him once again. "What do you mean, 'not last long'?" He walked me to a rock that was in the middle of the garden sitting me down next to him; forgetting about the movement in the trees I looked at him.

"Well, you see, Fenrir is getting the sense that I'm with Dumbledore, and he will soon find out regardless of how hard I try to pretend to be on his side. I'm in the order and I have no doubt that he will kill me and will try to kill anyone who I love, and I can't risk your life." He bent down to level my height (since I was sitting). He touched my cheeks and spoke softly, "Hermione, I don't want to lose you and I would be a selfish fool to think that I can protect you even if I survived." He gave me a soft kiss "I just don't want to lose you." I was so emotional at the moment, this was it then.

He could never be with her for the sake of protecting her. A tear spilled, then another, and another but this time Remus let it drop into his hands. "Hermione, these tears are most precious you mustn't waste them," Remus spoke softly. He brushed my cheeks and spoke in a hopefully tone "maybe once the war is over, you'd like to be with me?" he asked. I looked up at him, "yes, I'd love that." I spoke with some happiness gathering within me. 'I can wait for him for as long as there's forever' I thought.

All of a sudden, there was a rattling noise behind the trees which made Remus break away. "Hermione we should get going it's getting very dark." He was right; the orange sun that was here this afternoon was now replaced with dark clouds and a bit of stars. Just as I was about to get up the same rattling noise came from a tree no closer than a few feet away from me. "Quickly Hermione take your wand out." Remus said.

Before I could respond to the command something like a wolf came out of the bushes, only it was bigger than a normal wolf and it was heading right towards me. "Hermione look out!" Remus shouted but I only had time to shield my face with my arms. I thought it bit me but nothing happened, and when I opened my eyes I saw that Remus had gotten in front of me and was now fighting with a man who looked like half wolf.

"So Remus, I was right all along, you're loyalties lie elsewhere. You will pay the price for betraying me,I'll kill you first, then I'll finish her off." The man with a wolf like face sneered, It was my guess that the man who was now fighting with Remus was Fenrir Greyback.

"Hermione, get out of here as quick as you can and alert the order." Remus yelling to me.

"But I can't leave you here!" I had my wand out trying to aim for Greyback but Remus and him were fighting close.

"Don't argue with me now, just go!" he bellowed he was trying to stun Greyback to buy us both time.

I was in such panic but I did as he said even though, it felt as though the world around me was spinning out of control. I was running as fast as I could when something hit me hard from my back. I lost control of my balance and darkness crept onto me.

"My lord what shall we do with the werewolf and that mudblood?" A stuttering voice echoed far away. I opened my eyes little by little, feeling cold and disoriented. I immediately saw my surroundings I was in what looked like an old house lying on a cold wooden floor. I sat up and looked around only to find the room empty except that there was someone lying on the floor not too far from me. I quickly got up and found that Remus was unconscious but still alive. I shook him to wake him and he did. He was on alert at once.

"What happened? Where we are?" I whispered to Remus

I looked around and it looked like an abandoned house. As we both got up and looked around, the door opened to reveal a rat like man and I knew who it was: Peter Pettigrew. He pointed his wand at me and Remus me and toke us to a bigger room that was half lit. In the dark shadows there were Death Eaters with their faces hidden away in their masks.

"So you must be that mudblood, Harry Potter's best friend, hmm? A man asked as he moved into the light. I gasped, Remus tensed up. "I must say that you're not as smart as I thought you to be." He looked at me and started to walk towards me but Remus, who was next to me, got in front of me. "leaving yourself open in such a valuable place, you'd think that if I was a spy I'd be more careful." he spoke calmly looking at Remus "what a disgusting sight an old werewolf and a dirty mudblood in love." Voldemort laughed as did the death eaters. "'Love' what a weak emotion," Voldemort spoke with hatred in his voice.

My insides stared to burn but I could not do anything but listen to the man who had killed thousands of people; ruined Harry's' life. "No matter, this story won't have a happy ending though." he said looking at me. "I shall kill you both and have your bodies delivered to that old fool Dumbledore for thinking he can stop me and keep me from potter," he laughed again but it was colder.

He pointed his wand at Remus and hissed "Crucio." At once Remus's' screams filled the air. "NO!" I had found my voice at least and broke into a run to Remus. One of the death eaters caught me before I could touch Remus, I tried to fight but he was too strong and before my very eyes I saw Remus being tortured till his body went still. "no...NO!" I yelled over Voldemort cold laugh, the death eaters laughed along with their master. My sight blurred with the tears spilling from my eyes.

"My, my, this is getting boring, Severus release her. Voldemort spoke to the death eater holding me. I was so shocked that I didn't noticed. Voldemort pointed his wand towards me and within an instant pain surged thru me. I screamed for what seemed like hours but the pain only increased.

"my deepest apologies my lord," Severus came forward whispering something to Voldemort. Voldemort lowered his wand. I could feel my body go numb with Remus only a foot away from me, he was awake, his eyes in tears. It was a faint whisper but I heard it loud and clear as Remus spoke. "I'm sorry Hermione, I love you so much.." he's voice faded and silence fell. "very well then," Voldemort spoke "hold her for me Severus I'm sure she'll want to remember this," he said. Severus grabbed my arms as i tried to struggle but he's grip was tight. Voldemort walked over to Remus who was looking at me. "NO!" I yelled . Voldemort raised his wand, "Avada Kedavra." Remus's eyes went lifeless.

I tried to scream but no sound came. Severus loosened his grip and I fell onto the floor. My hands found Remus's' face, it was cold and lifeless. he's eyes wide open looking where I had stood. tears finally poured out of my eyes.

I sat there sobbing next to his body as Voldemort spoke, "Take them Severus before I change my mind." Voldemort walked away as his death eaters followed behind him. Severus had grabbed my arm while my other hand held Remus' lifeless hand tightly and we apparited to Grimuald place. Severus let me go at once and rushed to the headquarters, when he came back several people were behind him. Everything blurred and I feel unconscious.

When I opened my eyes I heard speaking almost in a whisper. "how are you my dear?". asked as she held my hand. When I looked around I saw Harry and Ron sitting by my bed side. The other members of the order stood quietly behind them.

"Have some water dear." handed me glass of water as I tried sitting up. I took a sip but wasn't able to swallow more, " We should leave you to rest dear, Dumbledore will be here soon." She said getting up and the rest of the order left with her. Only Harry and Ron remained by my side, "W-where is he..?" my voice was raspy, Harry took my hand and Ron held me. " I'm sorry Hermione, his body is resting downstairs." Harry spoke as he too held me. A wave of despair washed over me, as both of my best friends held me I began to cry uncontrollably.

I recalled what happened and remembered Severus Snape being there, "wh- where is Snape?" I asked. Something inside me wanted to ask him why he had saved me and not Remus, that maybe he had taken revenge for what happened between Remus and Snape during their years at Hogwarts. "He left as soon as everyone carried you in, He hasn't been back since." Harry said.

The door to the room opened and there stood Dumbledore, his face was dark and expression unreadable. "Miss. Granger," he spoke softly as he came to stand next to harry. " Tell me what happened?" he asked. When I told him the story he did not look surprised in fact, he remained the way he was. I had figured Snape had told Dumbledore everything.

A soft knock at the door made everyone look at the door which opened to show Snape, his face was dark and paler then usual. "Severus, I have been waiting for you," Dumbledore said as Severus walked over and stood in front of my bed. There was dead silence, no one spoke and I could not help but glare at Snape. I believed it was his fault for the reason Voldemort had killed Remus, I wanted nothing more but to slap him for holding me back but I could not move. "I'm sorry ... " Severus finally spoke his voice was softer almost kinder.

I looked away, I didn't want to hear it. "You must understand that Severus had no choice but to let the events fold as they did for he could have blown his cover and in doing so he has saved many of us." Dumbledore spoke this time. I looked at Dumbledore and said nothing. What could I say? My voice was stuck somewhere, I couldn't speak if I wanted to.

"but did he try?" harry spoke breaking the silence, Dumbledore now looked at harry and spoke, his tone unchanged. "and why would you think he hasn't done any less then he has?" Dumbledore answered with a question. "Professor-" but before harry could argue Dumbledore spoke again "Harry, I trust Severus with my life." he said. "Now we must leave for I have things I must take care of," Dumbledore walked to the door Snape following behind. "," Dumbledore turned at looked at me " Remus Lupin was a great man and he will indeed be missed but the living must live and moping over what we lost insults the very thing we miss. I must say you have two dear friends to take care of you. My doors are always open to you as well as Professor snapes " he said, then he left Snape following closely behind.

Harry and Ron looked at me, "Hermione, you should sleep," Ron said as he fluffed my pillow. I laid back down and pretended to sleep, I wanted to be alone. Harry and Ron whispered to one another once they thought I was asleep. "Do you think she'll be alright?," Ron whispered to harry. "I don't know but I'm worried about her, she's been pale even since she got here," Harry whispered to Ron. " what do you think they'll do with Remus's' body?" Ron asking in a faint whisper. "I suppose they are going to bury him, Sirius is devastated too Remus was the only friend he had left after my dad," Harry's voice was trembling. "Lets go mate, you don't look so good either." Ron whispered. Harry and Ron left and I opened my eyes, hot tears streamed onto my pillow. My vision blurred, my head pulsed and my body went numb, sleep or unconsciousness took over.

Two days afterwards, they held a funeral for Remus, I sat by his side, but I didn't cry or said anything. I looked at his face, it was peaceful; at ease. He looked like he was peacefully asleep. I stayed in bed for days, I hardly ate or slept and avoided everyone for the months came that followed his death. Harry and Ron were persistent to always stay by my side in those months and as the days dragged on my mood became more cheerful from my friends company, but my nightmares remained the same.

End of flashback