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A blonde-headed girl storms around the sitting room in the enormous villa, throwing random priceless antiques into the floor, and walls, and into other priceless antiques.
From first glance one would think that this was some spoiled fickle princess who was just denied the object of her latest interest, and one's first glance would be basically correct. The interest, in this case, happened to be directed towards the soon-to-be king of the neighbouring country. (AN: Damn these royals and their ambitious-yet-achieveable interests! DAMN THEM!!!)
"What a *goes off into a long list of unprintable Quenyan* man that Aragorn is!" she screams, as yet another 13,000-year-old elven artifact crashed to its noisy end.
Suddenly, the room was filled with a blinding white light and 1st-age choral music, as a very old hobbit appeared right in front of her face.
"Yo, Éowyn! What is UP my SISTAH?" the old hobbit says.
"Aaahhh.......aahh......" sing the choir-hobbits.
"Bilbo, 133-year-old hobbits should not try to be ghetto kids."
"Bilbo? I'm your radical cool hip modern Faerie Godfather!"
"Aaahhhhhh-ah-ahhhhhhhhhhhh......." agree the choir-hobbits.
"Radical?....."
"And I am here to grant you one far-out wish!"
"Aaaaahh......aaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHH....."
"Far out?" Éowyn is shocked by this sudden, improper slang-using. As she tries to ponder what illegal substance the hobbit has taken before arriving, the music slowly permeates her mind, blocking all thought.
"Aaaaaaaa-"
"Stop that screeching!!"
"What's wrong with our singing?" A choir-hobbit interjects, looking hurt.
"It's not you... it's the horse!"
"Horse? What hor- SAM, DID YOU BRING BILL AGAIN????"
"He came of his own free will!" a small (okay, *small* is an understatement) fat (yes, fat is an understatement as well) choir-hobbit retorts.
"Neigh," neighs Bill, and trots away.
"BILL!!!" Cries the small fat hobbit named Samwise, and runs off after him.
"SAM!!" Cries a hobbit named Frodo, as his plate-sized eyes fill with water and fake concern, and runs off after them.
"umm.... Frodo!" Cries Pippin, and dances away in the same manner.
"My fifteen minutes of fame!" Cries Merry, and slinks off in the opposite direction.
"ANYways, Eowyn," Bilbo says, trying to bring everyone back on topic, "So what do you think?"
"What were we talking about?" Asks Éowyn, now genuinely confused. This was nuts. This kind of insanity had not been seen in Rohan since the time her great-great-uncle suddenly decided that he was going to become a cucumber farmer. Poor old Éocas.
"As I have previously mentionned, I am your new faerie godfather."
"Why can't you be my uber-faerie godfather?"
"FINE! I'm your new UBER-faerie godfather."
"and whyyy would I want an uber-faerie godfather in the first pl- oh! Ooh! I know! Don't tell me..... You're going to grant me a WISH! Right? Am I right?"
"Yes, Éowyn," Sighed Bilbo the Uber-Faerie Godfather. This was nuts. This kind of stupidity had not been seen in Hobbiton since the time old Jimmy got his derrière stuck while trying to jump in the well. Poor old Jimmy.
But he had no time to ponder this, as Éowyn suddenly made a grab for him and ended up falling on the floor. Bilbo the Uber-Faerie Godfather, suspended on a string, swings to one side and crashes into the chandelier. The Hogwarts( Magic Wand in his pocket falls to the marble floor.
"YES!" Shouts Éowyn as she picks it up triumphantly.
"What?" Groans Bilbo the Uber-Faerie Godfather.
"I wished for a magic wand, and my wish came truue!" She cackles and runs away.
"Oh.... no...." says Bilbo, dazed, as he falls with a thump to the ground.
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Sooooooo....... what do you think? Sock me with your flames, your comments, your Pulitzer prizes.....
