Disclaimer: And neither of them are mine.
Dedication: Maybe not as funny as I originally intended, but I thought you might get a kick out of these two. Kate, have a fantastic time in Jordan and an even more amazing time in Korea. Somehow, I think I'll miss you more just because you are further away.
AN: Well, here I present Vala Mal Doran and Jack Harkness, in the years before. That would be the years before Jack became Jack and the years after Vala was a Gou'ld. Yeah, really don't know where this one came from, but the idea just popped into my head one day, and like all annoying plot bunnies, would not go away thereafter. I know, scary combination these two.
"Well, well, hello gorgeous," a voice all but coos to his right. He turns his most charming smile on her and is rewarded by a similar look.
She's tall, raven-haired, and about as close to drop-dead-dangerous as he's seen in a few months. Although, considering he's been stuck on some of the less savoury planets in this galaxy, that might not be saying much.
"You waiting for someone, gorgeous?"
He smirks, sips his drink and replies "just you."
The grin looks like a cat that just got the cream, which is actually a really good analogy, he thinks, because the way she moves screams feline grace and hidden claws.
"How about we take this somewhere more...comfortable?" She's already got one hand around his bicep and she's drawing him off his stool and out of the what passes for a bar on this world before he really contemplates protesting. She's beautiful, she's offering and it's been at least a week. Why refuse?
Much later that night when he makes her come screaming for the fourth time, she gives him the feral grin once more before falling asleep.
He will later kick himself for thinking she actually had fallen asleep.
When he wakes to too much sun streaming through the wide open window to find himself divested of his credit chip, the pendent of his mother's he still carries, and his clothes, he is caught between laughter at his own stupidity, and deep seated "I will hunt you down" mentality. Amazingly she has not attempted to steal the vortex manipulator off his wrist. Perhaps because she had no idea what it was, or more likely because she was smart enough to know that even the slightest movement would have woken him. He has to give her credit for being so quiet with the rest of it.
It takes him two hours to find clothes that at least mostly fit, two days to pick up a trace of her whereabouts, and another two weeks to finally track her down. By the time he does, he is pissed, to say the least. He's already had to call in to headquarters twice and apologize for the delay in his mission.
Both times he has failed to mention it's because he was robbed blind by a gorgeous brunette. He doesn't think that will look very good on his record.
He is slightly mollified by the fact that his sudden presence surprises her, but like every good thief she hides it well.
"Well, well, hello gorgeous. Did you miss me that much?"
"The credit chip you can keep, since you've probably already spent it, but I'll have the necklace back, lady, right now." She blinks at him, narrows her eyes in a calculating manner and hands it over.
"Oh, gorgeous, I think you'll do nicely."
Apparently he's having a run of stupidity. "For what?" For whom, his mind adds helpfully.
"You may have realized I'm a thief. Well, that's not very nice a word is it? I prefer con artist. Sounds so much more...refined."
"Lady, whatever you've gotten yourself wrapped up in, it's your own fault. You can bail yourself out." He turns to leave but she's got her arm snaked through his before he can take more than a step.
"Oh, but it's not me who's wrapped up. You see, I have this perfect little con. Really, perfect, except it requires two people. Which means it's not really perfect, as such, but since it's going to get me tons of lovely money, I suppose I can let that slide. But it's hard, don't you know, to find the right kind of...partner for these things. But then I saw you. Took you long enough to find me, though; thought I'd have to start all over again. So, I say twenty and you say "I'm interested", yeah?"
"No," he resumes attempting to walk away. He gets less than half a step this time. Damn, but she's stronger than she looks. The thought of caged claws comes back to haunt him.
"Allow me to introduce myself. Vala Mal Doran. And how about you? Or should I just call you gorgeous for the duration?"
"Kylen. Rodres." Like he'd give her a real name, which she must know. But he has no doubt she just gave him hers. Strange.
"Well, Kylen, are you going to help me out, or not?"
He's probably got another two days, maybe three before he absolutely has to get back to his mission before someone up top gets really pissy. And he could do with the money. His last job was a bit of a bust and the Agency was displeased enough to cut the damages out of his pay. And it's not like this is his first con...
"Alright. Thirty," he counters.
She smiles. "Twenty-five."
He grins back. "Done. So, what ya got, lady?"
Still smiling she leads him out of the building he found her in, much as she had from the bar two weeks before. It's probably a bad start.
Seven hours later he realizes his third mistake was to say yes. The money isn't worth this.
He ducks behind another crate just as a blast of bullets (and honestly, what century is this?) goes whizzing by where his head just was.
"You said easy!" He shouts across to Vala.
"I lied!"
Yeah, he had that one coming. He is so getting fired for this.
The bullets stop almost as suddenly as they started. Apparently, they've run out. Breathing a sigh of semi-relief (they're not out of this just yet) he chances a look over the crate and wishes he hadn't.
What? She mouths at him.
Run! He responds, and not waiting for an answer he is up and away seconds before his former hiding spot explodes in a shower of broken wood. It is only later, when he has stopped running and regained his breath that he realizes, amazingly, that Vala is standing next to him with a look he can't unravel on her face.
"What?"
"Oops?"
"That's all you can say?"
"Double oops?"
"Did you get it?"
She smiles so wide he swears her face is going to split open. From somewhere on her person, and he's not sure where with the all but skin-tight number she's wearing, she pulls out the bag of credit chips that their would-be buyers had been so loath to part with.
He grins right back at her.
He doesn't sleep that night, instead lies awake watching her. She looks much younger in sleep. Certainly less dangerous. With movements born of absolute care he gathers up his clothes and credits and departs. By rights he should have taken a few extra credits to make up for what she stole from him, but rather unfortunately she's gone to sleep hugging her share of the bag, because she isn't stupid.
Four years later, with two years of his life stolen, the first thing he thinks about is her. Maybe the life of a con artist has something going for it.
