"Well, if it's not in the system then it doesn't exist." My jaw unconsciously dropped as I overheard Jocosta Nu, the head librarian at the Jedi Archives, pompously proclaim this to the Jedi seated at the console. And to say that to Master Kenobi, of all people. I glanced around to make sure no one had seen the expression I knew was on my face. I have the lovely inability to hide what I think. I can keep my mouth shut, but not the muscles of my face. Jocosta Nu had just uttered the most closed-minded explanation a librarian could give. Yet this shouldn't have been a surprise. When I had started working at the Archives fifteen years ago, researching a subject using the ancient texts was the way to obtain information. Now, everything (hah) had been entered into a master computer that spit out answers as fast as possible for those with no patience or those who trusted the Archives to have entered every scrap of knowledge. Don't get me wrong, it is an amazing system that contains a ridiculous amount of information, but there are some things that were considered unimportant at the time of the data entry. Fortunately for me, there hasn't been anyone who has taken an interest in the dusty basement contents, and I have a little bit of job security because of my knowledge of those forgotten texts. You would think the head librarian would have a memory of these old books she used to use, but in these last few years of technological advancement, she has become too confident in the accuracy of the information in the computerized system.
Jocosta Nu had walked away, and the Jedi was still sitting staring blankly at the screen. He looked so disappointed, it was impossible for me to ignore him. I walked over and glanced down at his search screen. "No, don't worry about it, I will shut this station down for you," I said loudly. As I crouched down to shut off the machine, I quietly murmured, "Come back in three hours." As if understanding my need to not contradict my boss publicly, he gave a quick nod and said, "Thank you." As he rose, he placed his hand on my shoulder and gave a little squeeze, which I took to mean he would be back after closing time.
I quietly made my way back to my little desk in the basement, passing through the massive halls and leaving the beautiful sunlight streaming through the windows. No one bothered me down here, and after my husband decided to love someone else they felt too uncomfortable to make an effort to socialize. Politics again.
Where to begin looking for a missing planet? I truly hoped I would be able to help. After an hour of searching the shelves with my head bent in a right angle to read the spines, I found something that might work. It was the right star system, but it was a book about flora. I flipped to the back index and instantly found what I was looking for.
The library was dark except for a few creepy emergency lights. I hated being alone in the dark here, I have no feeling of comfort from the silent books. The blackness that fills the aisles could hide things that I'm sure are out to kill me. I waited in the shadows by the front door, and when I saw Master Kenobi approach I quickly pushed the door open for him.
"Did you find anything for me?" he asked.
I grinned. "Yep. It may not be a map with your missing planet clearly labeled, but it should help." I walked over to the table where I had laid out my research for him. "I have a really old binder that someone compiled with the names of what places used to be called in ancient times. You're looking for Camino, which you will never find mentioned. This, combined with a book on flora in that sector, helped me determine which planets and moons are on the map you were looking at earlier today, and more importantly, described a planet that apparently 'does not exist.' What I'm telling you is that it was there and very real to people ages ago, even if it doesn't appear on the map now."
Master Kenobi let out a sigh. I wasn't sure what it meant. He sat down at the table and roughly ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his eyes. I knew the feeling, I was tired too, and desperately wanted to release my hair out of the tight bun that held my frizzy mess. I had fun finding the information, but a lonely glass of wine was calling my name. "So does this help?" I asked.
"Yes," he said, and yawned. "I wasn't sure if I should take the chance that something would be there, and I don't have a lot of time to go on some useless quest. But this gives me confidence that my sources were telling the truth, and the trip won't be a waste of time."
"When will you go?"
"Tomorrow. " He stood up. "Are you going home now? You've stayed quite late, and I would feel bad making you walk home in the dark." I hesitated, and probably gave him a wary look. He smiled and said, "I have a lot of experience as an armed escort you know." I couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
"Fine. I guess it's safer that way." I grabbed my shawl and bag and led us out the door. As we walked, the air became thick with fog, and eventually gave in to a steady drizzle. "I'll bet you regret your offer to take me home now, huh? This weather sucks."
"I don't mind it at all," he said. "Getting a little rained on isn't the worst I've had to put up with." He paused. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
Here it comes, I thought to myself. Just get it out in the open. "Yes, most of what you read and heard is true." I didn't offer up anything more. Nobody cared why. It was good juicy gossip.
Master Kenobi walked silently a few steps. "So, you really did smash up the Senator's vehicle. I would assume it was a suitable punishment for something he did?"
I choked out half a laugh. "Not enough. But what I did was a crime, and what he did wasn't, at least in the eyes of the law. I almost lost my job. But we worked it out, I keep my mouth shut so his political career is clean and he kept me out of jail."
We kept walking in silence through the rain. I just wanted to get home and be alone again, curl up with my glass of wine and sleep the weekend away.
"I wasn't going to ask you about the Senator, actually," he said. "I wanted to know why you helped me after Jocasta Nu claimed the planet didn't exist. She is your superior, your mentor. I would think you would have learned much of your own knowledge from her guidance."
I glanced at him sideways, still walking through the pouring rain. "Well, let me say first that you are right, she did teach me a lot of the skills for my job. I am forever grateful for that. But I have a personal rule that I never end a question from a person with an 'I don't know' because it means I haven't helped them. If I truly can't find the answer I will give them other avenues to pursue. The answer is out there. You just have to look in the right place. Jocasta Nu did not give you any options. She and others have taken on this attitude recently, and it goes against what we've been taught in this field. They've become too sure of themselves." I quickly rubbed my palms together to warm them and disguise my sudden anxiety. "Sorry I started to go off there, some things get me riled up."
"Hmm," he said quietly. After a moment of silence, he murmured almost to himself "perhaps many of us have become too sure of ourselves."
I stopped walking and looked up at the old doorway we were next to. It was my current home, a bit rough around the edges with its crumbling stone archway but charming to me. I had found it in my frantic search for a new place to live after my sudden divorce. It wasn't located in the safest neighborhood but it was affordable and comforting inside. "This is me. Thank you for walking home with me. I hope you find what you're looking for tomorrow."
"Thanks to you I'm sure I will. You've given me quite a bit to think about during my long journey too. Thank you." He gave me a quick bow or nod or something, the warmest smile I'd seen in a long time, and turned on his heel for wherever his next stop was.
I went inside and peeled off my wet clothes. As I curled up in my robe with that lonely glass of wine I had promised myself, I felt almost happy. I had gotten to talk to someone, and it was a pleasant conversation. I leaned my head to the side and dreamed of more interactions with the Jedi that I knew would never happen. But for tonight it made me feel good, and I took that fleeting feeling and hung on to it as long as I could.
