OMG, CAT'S EYE, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?!
I'm posting a new Fanfiction! :D
I'm not very far in 'Air Gear', but I love it, and I especially love Akito/AgitoxIkki. It's one of my favorite pairing.
However, this is actually a very sad story, and I worked incredibly hard on it. So, no flames, please. I think that I did a very good job on this, and I worked on this for week.
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Air Gear'; this was purely fan-made and in no way should profit out of this.
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PARADISE
A Cat's Eye Fanfiction Inc. Production
He couldn't believe it. A year ago, he had met his bird, the person who would help him fly. The person who would free him from the dark waters he lived in. A person to wash the bloodstains off of his tainted heart. A year later…His bird was gone…
Once upon a year gone by
He saw himself give in
Tears welled up in his eyes as he walked on, closer and closer to the edge. More tears were already streaming down his face. Broken sobs escaped his chest. He hadn't wanted to believe it. No one wanted to believe it. It was unbearable to think about. They had denied it. They had tried to convince themselves that this was a joke, or that he'd come back, skipping through the door, broken, battered, ALIVE…They had prayed and prayed to themselves to wake up from this nightmare that they all shared.
But when everyone shared the same dream, it couldn't be anything other than real.
Still, for days, he had waited, eagerly opening his eyes in the morning, looking around, waiting for his bird to walk through the doors, so he could throw his arms around him, hold him, cry, have his bird comfort him, swear at his bird for being away and making him worry…
But, it didn't take long for the full blow to sink in. After only a few days, he realized that his bird would never take flight again, never come back; never come back to the nest he had lived in. His bird was gone…
He sank to his knees for a moment, head in hands. Salty rain drops falling from his eyes wet his sleeves as he sobbed. He couldn't take this anymore…He had cared too much about his bird…Loved him too much…
His closed his eyes sought out an image to try and comfort him. The only image that had ever been able to comfort him. But that image was a nightmare now. Navy, crow's nest hair, golden brown eyes, pale skin, slender form…His chest tightened even more, as though ropes were being pulled across his lungs, suppressing them. He couldn't live like this…
This wasn't supposed to happen…This was an accident…He wasn't supposed to be here, crying. He was supposed to be with his bird, learning how to fly, laughing, smiling, a warm flutter in his chest…But there was only crying, only depressed frowns, and a tear in his heart replaced the warm flutter…
Every time he closed his eyes
He saw what could've been
This is your last chance. I'm gonna do it. If you still want to live…he thought. He wondered if his other half would still cling onto life…
Idiot….I don't want to stay here any longer, either! a harsher, inner voice answered. It softened as it muttered, almost as though it were embarrassed, I…loved him…too…
A smile stretched across his mouth; the last smile he may ever have. "At least…We can both agree on that…" He stood up. He looked ahead of him. Nothing but open skies, forever and forever. But, not for him. Today, he wouldn't fly into those skies. He wasn't meant to fly these skies. Today, he would fall down to the bottom, and never come back up…"Our bird is gone…" he murmured, shuttering in pain. "There's no more reason…"
He'd want us to live on…
No. He wouldn't let us live with the pain we feel…He didn't realized that we'd hurt so much…And…I don't think he wanted to leave…He was forced to leave…
That bastard…Why did he have to go and die…?
We'll be joining him soon…
To end everything like this…It wasn't something he had originally wanted. No one really originally wanted it. It happened, and, though no one wanted to do it, it had to be done. But it hadn't been in his plans; in the manuscript he had made for his life. He had planned to grow up, to live on, to give up his title to some other hot-head, and to become old with his bird by his side, helping him fly…But his bird's wings were broken, its being shattered. There was nothing he could do without his bird…Nothing seemed to matter anymore…He was useless…
I'd say goodbye…But this world is too cruel to deserve one…
This world is hell. Let's just fucking get this over with…I can't stand it…It hurts…
Now you know how it feels…
I wish I didn't…
He knew that the harsher voice's words were all talk. He knew that the voice inside of him wouldn't change how he felt. Their bird had been loved by two individuals, yet only one person…
Enough. It was time to end this.
He shook himself, shuddering at the thought of what he was about to do. But, he wasn't afraid. He only needed to brace himself for the pain that was going to come…
He backed up a few steps. Then, he pushed himself forward.
A few running steps. A single leap. For an instant, he was flying. He couldn't' clearly see the path ahead of him, but he could faintly see an outline. For a second, he wondered if he would've ever been able to ride those paths, sailing over the seas, over the cities, high than everyone else…
But, without his bird to teach him, he could never see the path. Without his bird to tend to his wings, they'd never fly. Without his bird there to hold him up in the skies, he'd only sink to the ground…
As he fell, he felt strangely numb. Knowing that it would be all over, even though it would end painfully…Knowing that there wouldn't be any pain after that, even though he had to end it so violently…It numbed him. Maybe it was the cold air, tinged with salt, rushing by him, causing his skin to freeze. Maybe it was his own body, giving up its will to live, and shutting off…Maybe he was already dead.
Or maybe it was the comfort of knowing that he wouldn't be feeling the dead-weight of this agony he felt for too much longer. It was like a safety blanket, pulled over himself, blocking him from everything, even if it were only for a few moments, making him feel safe, like he had made the right decision, making him feel as though, even though nothing was okay, everything was okay…
Well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds
When covers tucked in tight
Agito…Do you think he's waiting for us…? Up in Heaven?
Can a being like me ever go to Heaven? I'm a monster…
I believe we can both get up there…There are plenty of good things you've done, too…
…You're too nice for your own good…
It's true…Besides; we both have to go to the same place. I don't think they'd let me down there…
I don't think I'll be allowed in Heaven…
But if we both go there, do you think he'll be waiting…?
…He'd better be…
I'll take that as a yes…
He smiled as he fell, strangely happy. He couldn't hear anything, thanks to the wind roaring past his frozen ears, but he knew that shouts of terror were coming from above. The people that were at the cliffs at the same time he was were all traumatized by the blue-haired boy who had just leapt off the cliff. He had given no warning, and he knew that suicide wasn't something that they would be able to just brush off. It had taken him a while for him to wrap his own head around the idea…And he knew that everyone up there would be scarred for life from this…
But he didn't care. All that mattered to him…The only thing that had ever mattered to him, was his bird. He wanted to be in the sky, in the clouds with his bird. Maybe, when he was gone forever from this world, in the next one, he'd b able to see his bird, to be with his bird, to fly together with his bird forever…
He almost missed the feeling. The bone-shattering crash at the very bottom, when his fragile-looking body smashed against the dark tan rocks, spraying them with blood, crushing his organs, bones, muscles…
He would've screaming in pain, and rocked back and forth in agony, trying to stop the pain. If this had happened on any other day, he would've howled for someone to save him, for his bird to fly him somewhere to get help, to stop the ripping…But, he didn't fight it. He knew that it hurt so much, but if it would end the other hurt he was feeling…
Funny when the bottom drops
How he forgets to fight…To fight
The last thought that flew through his mind was a memory…A memory of his last day. It wasn't a memory from today, however. It was a memory from his real last day. The last day he had seen his bird, alive and healthy. The last day he truly smiled. The last day he had held his bird in his arms. The last day he had been truly alive. His last day in his own paradise…
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
"Come on, slowpoke! Hurry up!" the crow-haired boy shouted over his shoulder, smiling in joy. His hair truly did look like that of a crow's unruly tail and head feathers, sticking out in all directions, a shade of deep navy. His golden brown eyes were alive with joy, and his tan-peach skin shined with health. His slender form, visible beneath his black, white, and red clothing, was hardly moving as he skated effortlessly along on his custom Air Trecks. The air was cool, but not cold. Light gray, fluffy clouds covered the skies, though sunlight trickled through the cracks when permitted to.
A royal-blue-haired boy struggled behind him, ungracefully, on his own pair of Air Trecks. His hair was the opposite of a crow's nest; silky, smooth, and flowing, right down to just above his shoulders. His one visible eye was bright yellow and wide with child-like frustration. His other eye, his right eye, was hidden by a white eye-patch. His sleeves, a tad too long, were bright orange, his pants a bone white. His baggy clothing hid his skinny, lean form, which was shorter than the navy-haired boy's, and the clothing also caused his movements to be a little clumsy. "Slow down, Ikki! I can't keep up!" he whined.
The navy-haired, taller boy skidded to an immediate stop. The other boy, with his uncovered eye widening, crashing into him, throwing his orange sleeves around the taller boy's chest. The navy-haired boy simply smiled, keeping his balance gracefully as he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy to steady him. "Calm down! I was kidding! I don't expect you to be an expert, Akito!"
Akito whined, "But, we've been practicing for months, and I'm not getting any better…Agito is so far ahead of me…" His other half, who was identical to him, other than the fact that his eye was fiercer and more animal like , and he wore his eye-patch over his left eye. He was far better than Akito on his Air Trecks, which also happened to be Akito's.
The crow-haired boy ruffled Akito's lighter-colored hair, though there really wasn't much of a difference. "You're doing fine. You're getting better! Today's just a bad day for you!"
Akito looked up at the taller boy, smiling in adoration. He loved it when his love told him he was doing fine…He loved his bird. He couldn't imagine life without his bird. The crow-haired boy was like a mother bird to him, helping him stretch his potential wings so he could fly. His chest fluttered as he felt the faint heartbeat of his love's body underneath his dark clothing, and saw his eyes sparkling like the stars…He wished he could stay like this forever…
"Aw! How heart-warming…It makes me SICK!"
The two boys jerked their heads around. A slender, silver man glared at them, smiling sinisterly. The simple sight of him made Akito's blood run cold. Images from his past flooded through his mind, of a cage and dark rooms, of beatings and broken bones. He remembered clearly every single detail of the closet that used to be his home, for he had spent so much time in there, he had memorized the place…
His other half felt no fear. Only helpless rage. He snarled as the memories poured in, and he resented the fact that he could do nothing at the time, for he had been trapped deep within Akito's conscious.
"Kaito!" Akito squeaked, cowering. He buried his head into the crow-haired boy's chest, trying not to whimper…His only comfort was his bird, holding him close. He just wanted to hide away until everything was over…
LET ME AT HIM! I'LL KILL HIM!
I don't think that's a good idea…! If you get loose…
I WANT HIM DEAD! AND SO DO YOU!
NO! I don't want to kill Oni-san!
I DO! LET ME GO!
NO!
Before Akito lost control, the crow-hair boy distracted them both. His eyes narrowed in rage, and his grip around Akito grew tighter protectively. He knew too well what his foe was capable of…"What the hell do you want?"
A bored looking expression crossed the taller man's face, though the grin was the same. "Oh, nothing. I was just passing by, and saw you. So, I decided to come back her and take what's rightfully mine. AKITO! AGITO! You're coming home with me!" He held up a cage. Akito's face went white, and his eye betrayed terror.
"NO! I don't want to go back!" Akito cried, hiding himself in his guardian's coat. He tried to get the cage out of his mind, but its sinister dark brown bars snaked his way into his conscious, taking an iron grip, as though it were entrapping his mind already. He didn't want to go back…He clung onto his guardian, to let him know that he wanted to be protected by the crow-haired boy right now more than anything. He trusted his bird to get them out of there alive…
"You're not taking him away from me!" the crow-haired boy snapped back, shifting so he could hide Akito better from Kaito. Akito felt his insides melt at the thought. The crow-haired boy would protect him, and save him…Kaito wouldn't get him…Akito's knight in shining armor wouldn't let Kaito near him…
Besides, it was just Kaito. He was no match for the crow-haired boy…
"And who's going to stop me?" Kaito snapped his fingers. Four other figures swooped down from above, almost as though they had come from nowhere. Akito looked from one to the other. They were all Kaito's henchmen, and would fight with him to the last breathe…We're out-numbered…Even if you fought…
SHIT! I can't fight this many!
And you can't beat Ni-san…
There was no reply. His other side never liked to admit it, but he could never defeat all of Kaito's henchmen and his older brother all together…
"So, are we going to do this the easy way? Or…Are you going to put up a fight?" Kaito asked, hissing like a snake. There was an evil glint in his eyes. He knew that he had the advantage, and was rubbing it in their faces, trying to anger them and intimidate them…
But the crow-haired boy didn't react, only stiffened a little as the tables turned. He narrowed his eyes, and Akito could tell his mind was whirling with all the possibilities…
Suddenly, he lifted up Akito bridal style, and leapt into the air, flying off on his road.
"IKKI! Where are we going? What are you doing?" Akito shrieked, frightened by the sudden change in altitude. He trusted his bird to fly safely, away from danger, but even still, being this high still made him nervous…And he constantly worried about weighing his bird down, having both of them crash to the ground…
"They're not going to get you! Don't worry!" the crow-haired boy responded, trying to soothe Akito. But Akito couldn't be soothed. He was scared out of his mind…Afraid of falling, afraid of Kaito, afraid of his cage…
But he knew there was nothing he could do. He clung onto his bird, praying that'd they'd be okay…
Everything had been paradise a few moments ago. Now, a tornado was ripping through his paradise, ruining everything. It'll be over soon….It'll be over soon…
Gunshots rang out. Akito saw the bullets whiz by, a sickly, silver-gold color that shimmered in the weak light of the sun. He couldn't tell if they were rubber or real…He was just thankful that his love wasn't getting hit…
They landed, but the crow-haired boy didn't stop. He skated on, searching desperately for something that only he could find…Akito had no idea what he was looking for…He simply trusted his bird to lead him somewhere safe, away from Kaito…
Finally, they arrived at it. A giant clearing, surrounded by breaking buildings, all the same color, a creamy gray. Empty windows created giant holes in the concrete walls, and lichen and moss grew up the sides. At one edge, almost concealed, there was a dark brown, sturdy shed, waiting for a use. It was the only thing in the area that looked recently made, and wasn't falling apart. Akito's guardian seemed not to touch the ground as he skated over, and pried open the door. He tossed Akito inside, trying to be gentle, but he was in a hurry, so he couldn't take his time to worry about the royal-blue-haired boy's tender-looking body. Akito cried as he skidded across the floor for a few feet. Then, he looked up with fearful eyes. The crow-haired boy was closing the door. Akito's eyes widened…This was so close to what Kaito had done so many times to him…He shook with fright. He didn't want to be alone, in the dark, in this scary shed…
He sprang to his feet and stopped his love from closing the door. "IKKI! NO! DON'T LEAVE ME!"
"Akito, stay here!" His bird's voice was frantic as he commanded Akito to stay. But Akito couldn't stay. The very thought of the room made him shiver with long-forgotten torment.
"I don't want to leave you! I don't want to be here alone!"
"You have to stay safe! You'll be okay!" The crow-haired boy knew this place terrified Akito, but there was no other choice. Akito knew he was only trying to help, but he couldn't just sit here as Ikki got hurt…
"You can't fight them alone!"
Suddenly, a gunshot rang out. The crow-haired boy cringed, and cried in pain. He slumped slightly, hands still on the door and the doorframe, blocking Akito from seeing what was behind him. Akito threw his hands to the crow-haired boy's shoulders, terrified. "IKKI!" The bullets were definitely rubber, but they were just as lethal and painful…Akito couldn't let his bird fight alone, against four people at once…
The crow-haired boy glared at Akito with care and concern. "You stay out of this! I'm NOT going to let them get you!" With that, he pushed Akito back with his foot, and slammed the door shut. Akito cringed as his body once again smashed against the hard surface of the shack's floor. Then, he looked with tear-filled eyes. He was back where he had started; alone, in a dark room, with only one way out, and Akito heard his bird lock the door with a soft, 'Click!' The only light came from a tiny window, and the bottom of the door, and it was dismal and gray, with only sadness, and no hope. He leapt to his feet and ran to the door, praying that it was broken enough for him to tug open. He jiggled the handle, grabbing it frantically and tugging as hard as he could, tears streaming down his face, blurring his vision. "IKKI! IKKI! IKKI!" he shouted hysterically. He pounded against the door with his entire body, but it wouldn't budge. "IKKI, DON'T LEAVE ME!"
He backed away from the door, looking around, jerking his head from side to side. There was no other way out. He could hear shouts and gunshots beyond the walls, and an occasional cry of pain, but he had no idea what was going on…
Ikki…Ikki…No…He fell to the floor, holding himself in a fetal position, trying to erase the image of the room from his mind as he sobbed into his too-long orange sleeves. He shook in terror, trying not to remember. He could hear his brother's sinister voice chuckling as he huddled up, and heard the sound of a bat smacking against skin as his body was beat mentally by the memories he had desperately tried to bury…He pounded against the ground. How could his bird do this to him…?
His bird…
His bird…
All of a sudden, his fears for himself didn't seem to matter anymore. He had no idea what was going on, and he couldn't tell if his beloved had been shot from the sky. He was beside himself, desolate with agony. He wanted to do something…But he couldn't do anything…Ikki…Ikki…Please…be okay…I'm sorry I couldn't help…
DAMMIT! I could've destroyed them if you had let me loose…!
You would've just made an easier target…He was only trying to help…
That bastard crow…He'll never hear the end of this…
Akito didn't answer. He was too busy crying. He wasn't even sure if the crow-haired boy would make it to the end of this…He prayed and prayed, but he didn't feel much hope, if any at all. The flames of hope he had had earlier had turned into a candle's flame, flickering, almost going out…A choking darkness filled the space where the flame used to be, making his hopes sink lower and lower…
As darkness quickly steals the light
That shined within his eyes
Suddenly, everything was quiet, besides Akito's cried. He raised his head, trying to quiet his sobs, tears still damp on his face and his sleeves. He heard a single, dull 'Thud!' and then the silence returned. It was so quiet now, it was scary. Akito's eyes widened as he saw the door clicked. It opened just an inch. His nightmares disappeared. His brother had never let him out of the room…He wasn't going back…
But he could see no one on the other side of the door. Even through the inch, he could tell that no one was there. Akito stood up, hands clinging onto each other…He suddenly wanted to stay in his little hut until his bird came and got him…Who knew what was on the other side of that door? Was the crow-haired boy waiting? Was he okay? What about Kaito? Was he gone? Was this a trap? Was their bird…?
Only one way to find out…COME ON! Get out there! Go and find the fucking crow so I can rip him to pieces!
Akito gulped. He didn't want to go out there…He wanted to stay here, safe, and hidden…But he didn't have that option. He couldn't just stay here and wait. He had to find out what had happened. It would be torture to wait here, wondering if everything would be okay…And if his love were in trouble…
He shook his head, trying to get the thought out of his mind. Ikki's okay…He's just on the other side of the door, waiting for me…He's just waiting for me to come out…Kaito's gone…Ikki drove him away, and he wants to be really quiet, because Kaito might come back soon…We'll sneak out of here, and go home…Everything's okay…
As he lied to himself more and more to calm himself down, he prayed that his lies were actually the truth…He took a deep breath, and kept lying, slowly gaining the confidence he needed. He walked to the ajar door. He grasped the handle, and, after a second's hesitation, and yet another lie, pushed it open, narrowing his eyes into slits to prepare himself.
He slowly swallows all his fear
And soothes his mind with lies
His eyes went huge as he stared in shock at the scene around him.
Blood was spattered everywhere. It was like spaghetti sauce all over the walls and the ground, dull, and almost chunky-looking against the dull and rough surfaces it touched. He saw all four of Kaito's henchmen lying stiffly on the ground. Fatal wounds poured more blood onto the ground, and none of them even twitched for a breath of air. Akito slowly stepped out of the door warily, looking around in a mixture of sheer terror and shock. His familiar, precious crow was nowhere to be seen. "I…I…Ikki…?" he whispered, looking around as he slowly stepped out of the shack.
He stepped on something smooth and round. Unbalanced, he fell to the ground. His eye-patch slipped.
Agito now shook his head, growling. "Ug…Akito, you really need to work on your balance…" He looked to see what his other side had tripped over.
His brother's gun. The gun that had pointed at his head so many times. The gun that had brought so much terror to the world. It was no longer dangerously in his brother's hands, trigger set and aimed. It now lay harmlessly on the ground, with small spots of blood speckled on it. He looked beyond it. His eyes widened. Next to it, barely three feet to his left, was his brother, laying face-down on the ground, still as his henchmen.
Dead.
Agito couldn't believe it. So many times, he had wanted to see his brother dead. He wanted him to fall to the floor and never get back up. To choke until his lungs could no longer breathe. To drown in Agito's ocean, screaming for mercy that Agito would not give. To bleed until there wasn't a single drop of blood left in his body. He always felt that his brother's dead body would make him so happy…
But, for some reason, he felt hollow…He felt like the crow was causing it…Maybe it was because the crow had killed him, and Agito himself hadn't finished the job…
He snarled. "That dumb crow…I'm going to destroy him when I find-!" he began, but was cut off. He stopped himself from finishing the sentence, for he turned his head, and saw something that caused his inner-self, Akito, to cry in grief.
The crow was lying down on the ground, not far from the door. He was lying on his back, not moving. He could barely see the crow's chest rising and falling as he breathed heavily. Agito sprang to his feet. The crow's bird companion lay beside him, its head torn off, obviously dead. "YOU FUCKING CROW!" Agito shouted angrily. He ran over, fully intending to give the midnight-haired boy a kick in the side. "YOU FUCKING MORON! WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME KILL HIM?!" he accused. He lifted his foot, glaring down at Crow-Boy.
But, he paused. For some reason, realizing how hurt the crow was made him feel even hollower…There was a deep gash in his chest, and a bunch of bruises visible on his head. His sleeves and pants were scratched and torn, covered in blood and grime. One of his hands was crumpled, broken. Through is outfit, Agito could make out bruises and scrapes, some bleeding, but none nearly as much as the gash on his chest, where blood flowed out of his body like a river.
"…Crow…?" he asked, hesitant. There was no response. "Crow…?" Fear began to fill his voice. He hissed, "…Ikki…?"
It was one of the rare times he had ever used his names. And it was only of the only times he had said his name without swearing about fifteen times.
He knelt down, staring down at the limp body in front of him. Now he understood why he was so hollow, and why his chest burned…He had already known this, but he hadn't realized that it would hurt this much when something happened…Agito…Is he…?
He can't be dead! He can't die! He is NOT dead! Angrily denying what looked inevitable, he threw his hands on the crow-haired boy's shoulders and began shaking him. "DAMMIT, WAKE UP, SO I CAN FUCKING POUND YOU!" Agito snarled. He was trying not to let the crow know how worried he was, and was trying to keep his sadness from sweeping him away. Truth was, he could barely sit up. He wished that the crow would just wake up, so he could scream at him again in full anger, not swayed by any other emotions…
For several tense minutes, the crow didn't respond. He was silent as ever, still straining to breath. Agito tried to control his own breathing, and angrily wiped away the tears from his eye, looking down at his pants. "Fucking…Ikki…" he murmured, trying to hide what he truly felt…
Akito sobbed inside him, horrified.
All of a sudden, they both heard a small groaned. Agito looked up, eyes wide with excitement. The navy-haired boy's eyes were fluttering. His head shifted, and then, his eyes opened halfway. He turned his head and looked over at Agito. He put a weak smile on his face. "Agito…"
"IKKI!" Agito shouted, trying to sound more infuriated and less joyful than he actually was. Feeling himself falter, he shook his head and snarled, "You bastard…Why didn't you let me fight?" He looked away, trying to wipe the embarrassing glee from his face. He couldn't let Crow-Boy see…
"I didn't want you to die…"
Agito stiffened, like he always did when the navy-haired boy was concerned for him. "But you're okay…No one died other than Kaito and his fucking crew of douche-bags…"
"Agito…You forgot someone else who's going to die…"
Agito whipped his around. A sad smile was now on the navy-haired boy's face. His face was clouded with, not happiness, but pain and grief.
"N-N-No…Ikki…You fucking crow, you can't die…I have to beat you for this…!" Agito snarled, trying t mask his terror with anger.
Crow-Boy looked up at the sky. "I can hardly breathe…I can't stop myself…I'm…"
"YOU'RE NOT FUCKING DYING, YOU STUPID CROW! STOP SAYING THAT!" Agito screamed. He tried to keep his furious mask on, but it missed, and a tear trickled down his face. A sob escaped his lips. He didn't want to cry. He didn't want to feel this pain; the searing pain, pricking his skin like pins and needles. The crow smiled at him.
"Agito…Akito…"
Akito sobbed inside of him, while Agito was staring in shock. "I'm dying…I'm sorry…"
'No…You can't die…Crow…" He couldn't leave them like this. He couldn't leave Akito crying, alone, with nothing to save him from the horrible memories, or to teach him to fly. The crow couldn't leave HIM, either, trying to remain calm and cool when his heart was dipped into acid and boiled till it stopped beating…
"Agito…"
"I have to kill you for this…I haven't forgiven you…" Tears streamed down his face, despite his furious snarls. The truth was, he had already forgiven the crow. He had completely forgotten why he was angry in the first place. He just wanted the dying boy in front of him to be okay…
"Agito…"
"Ikki…Don't do this to Akito…"
"You're hurt too…I don't wanna die…I'm sorry, Agito, that I have to put you through this…"
"I'M NOT HURT!"
The crow-haired boy stared at Agito. Agito stared back, trying not to blush. Suddenly, the crow-haired boy shuddered, and a new rush of blood flowed out of his gash. Agito's eyes widened. His hands flew to Crow-Boy's shoulders. "IKKI!" he shouted in fear. More tears welled up in his eyes.
Said boy smiled. "See? You do care…"
Agito blushed this time, unable to hide the scarlet crossing his face. His hands whipped away, and he turned his head away from the boy, glaring away from the boy that he refused to say he was in love with…
Agito, stop being stubborn…He's dying…You should tell him…
There's nothing to fucking tell him!
Stop lying to yourself…You know as well as I do that you love him, too…
Agito glared away, still blushing. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew that it was true. He had fallen in love with the crow-haired boy, the same way Akito had. He loved the way he effortlessly floated through the air, and rode his path with such confidence. He couldn't imagine a day without seeing him with his own eye. His crow-like hair, his golden-brown eyes, his lean, muscular form, his energy, his moodiness, his anger-flashes, his attitude…he adored it all. Every time he praised even Akito, Agito felt his own heart swell with pride and love. He didn't care what happened to anyone else in battle. He only kept his eyes on his bird, watching as he fell, praying he'd be okay silently. He knew that the crow might never love him. He loved Akito, sweet Akito, not Agito. Agito felt no jealously towards his other half, but he was always pained, watching the two enjoy life while Agito sat inside Akito, wishing with all his heart that it was HIM with their bird, not Akito…
Akito knew this, and tried to make things fair. He'd let Agito have the time he wanted with Ikki. He never brooded over a single kiss or moment with the navy-haired boy, to save Agito the pain. And, though not even Akito would ever admit it, the one time that their bird had made love with Akito, Akito had switched over the eye-patch when their bird couldn't see, allowing Agito to groan as he felt his bird inside of him, trying to keep back his snarls and swears…The wonderful feelings that he had felt that night. The passion. The emotion. The care. He could feel his bird being gentle, stroking him lovingly and caringly as he worked as gently as he could. Agito never wanted to switch the eye-patch back…
He realized that he truly wanted to tell his bird how he felt…He couldn't hide it any longer…
He sighed in defeat. He didn't look down at his crow as he muttered, "…Fine…I…I…You're my…I need you to survive…I only live for you…"
Well all he wants and all he needs
Are reasons to survive
"I…You fucking crow…"
The golden-brown twins stared at Agito, smiling, care plainly written on his face. Agito finally looked at him, and turning ruby, he muttered, "You can't die…
"I…love you…"
The crow-haired boy sighed in relief. "Agito…I love you, too…"
"No, you love Akito…You don't love me…I'm just his other…" Agito muttered angrily. He didn't want the dying boy to lie to him, even if it was to make him feel better. Why would anyone love Agito when they could have Akito, after all…?
"That's not true. I love you, just as much as I love Akito…"
Agito looked down, surprise written on his face…And hope. "You and Akito were always the same person to me…To love one was to…love the other…From the start, I've loved you…The road you travel on…your savage streak…your blood-stained being…I love you, too…You and Akito both have things…that make you who you are…"
Agito couldn't believe his ears. He had wanted this day to come, so many times. The day Kaito died, and the day that his bird fell in love with him. But he had always thought of those days as dreams. He had never believed that anyone could love him…He had never believed that anyone could choose the monster that lived within Akito…He never thought anyone could look over the bad in him and find the good in him…
He smiled. "You crow…You're so fucking sappy…" he chuckled. Finally…He had found his reason to survive. The Road of Blood didn't matter to him. His Air Gear team mattered even less to him. His own Air Trecks meant little to him. He'd give them all up for his beloved, lying on the ground…
He hated the thought. It was the most moronic thing in the world…
But it was true. He would no longer live on the fact that he ruled his own road. He'd live on the fact that he had found reason in life.
A day in which the sun will take
His artificial light…his light
"I just wish that…You could've told me that before…" The crow-haired boy trailed off, his eyes 's eye widened in pain. His hand flew to the bloodied shoulders of his companion. "IKKI! NO! YOU FUCKING MORON! I JUST SAID I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE! DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING DIE, DAMMIT!" he screamed. He could feel his heart howling in hurt, a deep gash, deep as the one on the navy-haired boy's chest, already ripping across it. "I loved you ever since Akito started loving you, and now that I finally have the balls to say it…YOU CAN'T FUCKING DIE! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D EVER HAVE YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME NOW!" Tears streamed down his face as he begged. He hated this. He hated life. It was so cruel. He hated these feelings in his heart. He couldn't wish them away, but he despised being so weak…
"I guess…This is my last day…" the crow-haired boy sighed, opening his eyes into narrow slits for a moment, before closing them again.
"NO, IT'S NOT! FUCKING STAY AWAKE!" Agito begged. "THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, YOU DIP-SHIT! YOU AND AKITO WERE MEANT TO LIVE TOGETHER IN PARADISE, WITH ME BY YOUR SIDES!"
Agito wilted, body slumping. His hands turned into fists in his lap, his fingers digging into his skin so deep, they threatened to draw blood. Angry tears slid down his face, underneath his closed eye. His teeth gritted together in a feeble attempt to keep back his sobs.
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
The navy-haired boy managed to open one eye. He lifted his hand stiffly and wiped away several of the tears on the blue-haired sobbing boy's face. Agito opened his eye, glaring at his crow.
"I hate you…I hate you so much…I hate you for dying…I hate you for leaving us…" he snarled.
"Shhh…Don't say that…"
"Why…Why today…?" Agito gasped. He clutched his chest over his heart as it began to scream. "Today…Everything was fine…You and Akito were doing fine…Why…Why…? You weren't supposed to die…"
"I'm sorry…I don't want to die…But, at least you're alive…"
"BUT WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT?! Akito can't live without his bird, and neither can I!" Agito screamed furiously, as though the words would somehow make the crow on the ground stop bleeding to death…"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST LEAVE US HERE ALONE?!"
"You'll move on…"
"Ikki…Ikki…I'm not fucking calling you Crow-Boy anymore…You gotta live for that…You gotta live for…me…" Agito desperately pleaded. "I don't do things like this for ANYONE. Stay alive. If not for me, for Akito…
"We need you…Please…" Never in his life had he ever said 'please' for anything he wanted. Ever. He might jokingly toss the word around, but he had never, with tears in his eyes and on his knees, begged with that word.
The golden-brown-eyed boy smiled. With the last of his strength, he pushed himself up and pressed his lips against Agito's, gently and soothingly, as though trying to calm the blue-haired boy. Agito, for a second, stared in shock, unable to process what had just been given to him. When he finally put two and two together, he contemplated leaping back in feigned disgust when he realized that he didn't have to pretend anymore. He didn't have to hide how he felt anymore. He loved his bird, and his bird loved him back…
Even if it were only for a minute…
He closed his eye, and kissed his beloved back. The rush of lightning flying through his veins was enough to freeze him on the spot, paralyzed. For the first time, and the only time, in his entire life, he was okay with being sweet and gentle. For his bird, he could make an exception…
He'd do anything for something that felt so right…
It's one more day in paradise
One last chance to feel alright…alright
Too soon, the crow-haired boy pulled away, eyes still closed. Agito opened his one eye into a narrow slit, as though keeping it closed would keep the dream with him, but he was so curious, he had to open it, even at risk of losing the dream. His eye focused on the individual in front of him, and nothing else. Said individual lowered his head to the ground, and sighed out his last words. "That's the last thing I ever wanted to do…
"I wish I could stay…
"Goodbye…"
Agito's eye widened. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that…Ikki, you're gonna be fucking fine, so stop kidding! I'll get you to…somewhere where they can fix you up…Everything'll be fine…"
The crow-haired boy didn't respond. His breathing stopped.
"Ikki?"
…
"Ikki…?"
…
"Ikki!"
…
"IKKI!" Agito shrieked. He shook the crow-haired boy's shoulder violently. "IKKI! I TOLD YOU…!"
He grabbed the navy-haired boy's wrist and searched for a pulse. He found none. He didn't know CPR. He didn't have a cell phone, and the crow-haired boy didn't either. Agito had no idea where the nearest hospital was, and he knew that he wouldn't make it in time…No one would…
"…not to die…!" he finished, torn up. A full river flowed down his face. There was no more anger. Only an endless sea of hurt and a dead ache in his heart. No, there wasn't even a heart anymore. Just a hole, dripping with fresh blood. His heart had been with the crow-haired boy in front of him. To say his heart was with the boy was to say that the moment the boy died, his heart had stopped beating…
He fell on top of the dead body, sobbing. Akito…It hurts…Why am I like this…?
Choked with his own sobs, Akito managed to answer, It's what love is…You do things you'd never do before…
Agito wished it would stop…He wished it would go away…The burning where the hole in his chest was…He wished that he could hold everything back, and cage it up…
But why should he hold back? Was there any reason to?
Don't pretend to hold it in just let it out
Don't pretend to hold it in just push it out
Suddenly, he felt uncontrollable anger grip him, coursing through his veins, nipping him mercilessly, ordering him to be mad. His hands, which were previously clinging onto his now-dead lover's jacket, clenched into fists, this time, cutting open his skin, letting his own blood flow out of his hands. He embraced the pain. He embraced the numbing anger that over-came him…Anything to escape reality, where his beloved was dead…
Why…Why did he have to die…Why couldn't the world die, and he live…?
He slammed his fists to the ground. Droplets of blood spurted out, but he was beyond caring. The tears stopped, though his face still shined with tearstains and helpless rage. His teeth grit together furiously. WHY DOES ANYONE ELSE DESERVE TO LIVE?!
Don't you try to hold it in just let it out and
Don't you try to hold in you hold it in
For once, Akito didn't try and stop Agito as he rampaged, too consumed by his own grief to stop his other half as he ripped through countless souls…5? 10? 20? 50? Neither of them counted, and neither of them cared. Agito's lust for blood was up, fueled by his depression, anger, and hate. Akito didn't want to snap Agito out of it, because he realized that Agito would be in so much pain when he came to his senses…Akito left him alone, letting his other half feel a few more hours of numbness before embracing the pain…
The next day, Agito woke up, uncertain of what had happened the day before. The previous day was completely blacked out from his mind, other than a dull yet familiar pain, and the scent of fresh blood. He looked down at himself. Said red liquid was splattered all over his body, and he was sure it wasn't his own…He reeked of the foul sticky liquid. Ug…What did I get into the other day…?
…You don't remember? Akito's usually happy-peppy voice was dull, and uncharacteristically spiritless…He didn't even mention their bird. Surprise rippled through Agito.
I can't remember what happened…Why was I so furious?
…I think you should wait till later…
Why?
…I think you should have a few more days left…
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
It took two days to realize what Akito mean.
And two days for them to both realize that who they had sold their entire being to would never be coming back…
The decease's comrades and friends found his body. Akito and Agito didn't have to explain. It was written in the bodies surrounding what they had lost, and the wounds on their bird's body. The blue-haired boy avoided all people desperately trying to find some way around this…A loophole…Some way to live on…
But, when your paradise has been burned to the ground, what are you going to live for?
It's one more day in paradise
One last chance to feel alright
Anything you think you should've done, Agito?
I've ruled my own road, I've been in love, and I've committed suicide. What more could I ask for?
Dying isn't all that bad…
That fucking crow didn't have to go, though…
I wish he had lived, too…
At least we won't have to deal with any pain anymore…
Akito saw black dots swirling his vision. His own conscious, and Agito's conscious, both sunk deeper and deeper. He couldn't move his limbs. They were all stiff and broken. He could feel his heart slowing down, and his lungs no longer screamed for air…
But he didn't want to move, and he didn't want to breathe, and he didn't want his heart to beat. His heart had stopped the day that his bird had died. And, now, the aching hole in his heart was gone…
We'll be in the sky; soon, with our bird…We'll find our paradise, yet…
Their eyes closed for the last time.
The Fang King, the Keeper of the Road of Blood, and, and one of the strongest member of Kogarasurmaru, is now dead.
Once upon a year gone by
He saw himself give in
Every time he closed his eyes
He saw what could have been
THE END
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Wow...
I really love this song. I wanted to use it in a Fanfiction, but could never find the time.
And, hey, my first story with a depressing ending! :D
...Nothing more to say!
~Cat's Eye
