Adora was laying awake, thousands of thoughts running through her head mainly consisting of "will I pass this next test?" and "oh no, what if Shadow Weaver springs us with surprise questions?" and even "what if she's watching me now and seeing me worrying about the test? Is this a test?!"

Her bunk was far too uncomfortable to sleep on, with lumps underneath the surface and rips in the fabric, though the rips were there mainly from Catra's anxiety during the day.

Shadow Weaver was in a bad mood… that's all Adora would relive to say. She'd rather not go through it again. It was Catra's sixteenth birthday a week ago, but that didn't mean that Shadow Weaver was any nicer to her in any way.

So if ripping a few spots on Adora's mattress made her feel better, she definitely wasn't going to complain.

Shadow Weaver being in a bad mood today only meant that she was going to be that much harder on them tomorrow: A fitness test, followed by a simulation to test speed and planning against rattling jets, motor engines and deadly glitter bombs that blew up and made you temporarily blinded.

Of course, all these vicious weapons belonged to the vile Princesses.

Adora wrinkled her nose at the thought of the Rebellion, certain that these Princesses had even worse weapons and torture methods in real life. They had to have. They were evil and destructive, always getting in the Hoarde's way of claiming land.

It boiled her blood just thinking about Princesses and their privileges. They probably all lived in huge castles with wide fairy beds and tons of servants to do their dirty work. All while the Hoarde fought for every scrap of food they could manage to find.

Catra broke Adora out of her thoughts by shifting slightly to get comfortable. The blonde blinked at her, curled up and sleeping soundly on the bed beside her legs. The stress of tomorrow far away from a sleeping cat.

Adora smiled, and started to trace her hands through her long hair, spiking it up more than it already was.

It helped her own stress of the upcoming tests to actively do something with her hands.

Then, something reminded Adora exactly how much Catra resembled a cat. She was running her fingers through her hair when she heard it, admiring the way the brown locks fell and easily passed through her fingers despite looking like it would not be physically possible.

A low rumbling.

It was different to the rumblings of the jets or motors in the simulations or the scratchy sound recordings they were shown in their classes... It was relaxing, helping Adora breathe, and so much softer than that of an engine. So soft that she almost didn't hear it at first. Soothing.

Like… a cat was purring.

Adora paused her fingers and listened.

Yep, that was definetly Catra purring.

A soft smile broke across her face at her girlfriend, and couldn't keep in a quiet laugh - but it was enough to wake Catra from her deep slumber. Catra had always been a pretty light sleeper.

"What are you doin-" a drousy yawn paused her mid-sentence. "Wha' are you doing awake?" The soft rumbling didn't stop. " 'nd what are you smiling about?"

"You're purring."

Catra's eyes widened, no longer struggling as hard to stay open. "What?!"

"Shh!" Adora shushed her quickly, glancing around to the other bunks. Only Kyle stirred before going still again. She turned back to Catra, "You know they'll be mad if we woke them up again," she added.

Catra nodded, but she clearly wasn't listening to her. After a short while, she looked at Adora again. "You're right, I am purring..."

"Did you not know you did that before?"

"Well, I guess I have, but I've never really paid any attention to it."

Adora smiled and leaned foward to press a small kiss to Catra's nose, not ignoring how her cheeks seemed to redden slightly as the purring grew louder. "This is too cute," Adora said, perfectly happy to sit here with her purring kitten.

Catra swiped her hand in a small gesture. "Yeah, let's sleep and forget about all of this already."

Adora lay back and motioned for Catra to lie back down as well, which she did. She started carding her fingers through her hair once more, and didn't stop until she knew that Catra was fast asleep. Her purring seemed to get louder when she was huddled closer to Adora like she was.

Adora seemed a bit mad at herself for not noticing before, but she was loving every second of this moment that she was definetly not going to forget. Not even if Catra begged.

Catra truly was adorable.

She was extremely lucky to have her.


Right until she didn't...

She Ra stood on the battle field, worn out from the battle. Her injuries finally taking a toll on her as the adrenaline of the fight was beginning to fade, but still managed to spike slightly as she stared at the figure ahead.

Her boots were wet and soaked through, her cape floating along with the wind as she stood in the shallow water on the ground after Mermista's defence. Her hair was a mess, tangled up and knotted in places from the fight that was still raging around them.

But she didn't care.

Catra stood a few feet in front of her, staring back with an emotionless gaze that She Ra knew hid a multitude of emotions beneath that were threatening to break through and weep.

But they didn't.

Catra didn't weep for her here like She Ra was. She didn't show anything, only staring her in the eyes in that cold gaze that cut through She Ra's last defence and made her eyes well up.

"Please Catra," she nearly cried. She never had to beg so hard for Catra before. They used to be a team. "Please."

Catra didn't show any response except lowering her head to glare at her.

"Catra-"

"Stop," Catra practically hissed, and She Ra actually stopped in shock, but that didn't stop the tears from streaking down her face. "Stop acting as if you still care. You left me."

"No, I left the Hoarde. You can still be with us-" She Ra gestured to the fight going on, meaning the Rebellion- "You can still be with me," she finished, voice cracking on the last word. She took a step foward to grab her girlfrien- Catra's hand, but she snapped it away before she could.

"No Adora," she said, grabbing her chin and bringing it close to her face, "you left me when you left the Hoarde. You left without question when you found a better life. An easier one. You left without looking back."

She Ra stared in shock, barely processing what was being said. No, this couldn't be happening. Catra was supposed to come back to the castle with her, and they were supposed to live their lives happy together.

They were-

"She Ra look out!"

The yell knocked her concentration away from her conversation as as loud explosion rattled from beside her, knocking her with shrapnel as she was blown sideways. She hit the ground with a thud that knocked and rolled along the rocky earth. The air was knocked from her lungs and she twisted her leg in a painful way as she came to a stop. Her sword clattered to the ground a distance away from where she lay.

Groaning, she wiped dirt from her brow and blinked the blackened spots from her vision, pushing her arms beneath her to pick herself up. She was bleeding, she knew that much, but she didn't know where.

"Adora! Are you okay?!"

Bow was beside her in seconds, but she barely processed his hands pressing down on a gushing shrapnel wound in her side. She could barely hear the explosions happening around her, seeming as though they were under water and muted to a point her pain felt like an empty shell.

"-ra, listen to me…"

She Ra looked past her friend to the spot where she and Catra were moments before.

It was bare.

Catra was gone, nothing left behind. Not even a childish note with the words 'hey adora' crudely written in a neat scrawl.

It was easier to pretend that the pain in her chest was from pushing herself too hard when Bow asked with worried glances. It was easier to pretend that her tears on her face were from the pain of her injuries rather than the girlfriend she had lost. When Glimmer came rushing towards her, despite the battle still in their world, it was easier to get up and keep attempting to win than to accept her new truth. The harsh truth that was clearing up as a reality in her mind.

In that moment she wasn't She Ra, the powerful warrior that could level an entire ambush with a glance; instead, she was Adora, the lost girl who didn't know what to do anymore.

Glimmer handed her the sword with hope burning in her eyes, and Adora gratefully took it from her despite her aches and pains. The realisation was sinking in despite how much Adora fought against it.

Her kitten was gone, and she no longer purred for her.

She wondered if she ever would again.