A/N: the summary's pretty self-explanatory.
i may update every weekend possibly more than once on any given day or depending on how much time i spend on my other stories currently in progress, i'll try to update at least once a month. Some of the oneshots may be short or long and may contain lemons which will be marked. Enjoy?
~Fabulous
Disclaimer: :'( I don't own VA. Richelle Mead does. ; )
Pairing: Stan/Alberta
Genre: Parody/Romance
Narration: Third person
*slightly lemony
-Infatuation-
Stanley Alto was a peculiar middle-aged guardian. He taught Bodyguard Theory and Personal Protection classes at St. Vladimir's Academy, had an insatiable temper and an equally untamable hatred towards his hooligan student Rosemarie Hathaway.
He would often spend his days lecturing his students, munching from the rather large jar of cheese puffs he kept stashed away in his desk and at night he would secretively lust over Guardian Petrov. Mm, yes. He would chant when he thought about her alone in his room. Oh how desperately he desired and hungered for the school's Guardian Captain. Of course he would never admit this aloud, but he loved a woman in charge.
When she spoke, her voice sent shivers down his spine. When she fought, her body made him feel warm and alive. He never expressed his feelings but he fancied the way the wind would sometimes ruffle her spiky sandy blonde hair. In the sunlight he would swoon over how the gray strands in her luscious locks, that always smelled of raspberries, would glitter brightly like a freshly polished stake.
Some women didn't look good without dying their hair, but not his Alberta. Oh how he adored the way she embraced her age with conviction-flaunting her worldly wisdom and sassy authority that demanded a sense of respect that everyone was quick to oblige her with in her presence.
She was nearly two decades older than him, but when it came right down to it, age was nothing more than a mere number. Besides, he pondered with a shrug, she was like a fine wine to him and he often fantasized about how many lovers she's been with in her time. Her curvaceous, petite frame was mouthwatering and he couldn't help but crave to know all her tricks between the sheets. Surely a delicious woman of her age had many techniques when it came to pleasuring a man. Though he couldn't stop the waves of green envy that consumed his very soul at the thought of another man touching her, pleasing her into complete ecstasy when it should be him instead.
She wore no wedding band, but a woman like her deserved a lifetime of worship and devotion. So that's why today, he finally mustered up the courage to ask her on a date. He's been employed at the academy for five years now and it felt right to officially let his feelings be known instead of cowardly hiding it behind a stoic exterior.
He stood outside her office with a bouquet of fresh white roses and lavender freesia-her favorites he had learned. Stan drew in a deep breath steading himself, today was her fifty-seventh birthday and he wanted to make sure she felt special. His palms were sweaty, his throat felt dry and he worried his unruly hair wasn't combed quite right but he bit his tongue, straightened his back and knocked on her closed door gently.
For a moment there was no response from the other side of the door and he feared she wasn't in there at all but when he heard a muffled thump and her strong voice command, "Come in." he let out the small breath he had been holding. Relieved, he gulped hard before grasped the cold metallic door knob and let himself in to Aphrodite's lair.
And there she was, perched behind a large mahogany desk rifling through various stacks of papers and student files. When he stepped inside and closed the door behind him, her head bobbed up from her paperwork and a small smile graced her smooth, rosy lips, "Guardian Alto. What a surprise, what can I do for you today?" Disrobe and let me have you, Stan devilishly contemplated saying, before clearing his throat and brushing the dirty thought away before his mind made a fool of himself.
Instead, he exposed the arm hidden behind his back and handed her the fragrant bouquet, "I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday Captain Petrov." he spoke timidly with a hint of nervousness in his voice.
Her almond-shaped mossy-green eyes softened as she took the gift and one of her slender fingers brushed against the inside of his hand making him flinch from the electric current the subtle touch caused, "Oh Stan they're beautiful. And my favorites too. Thank you." she murmured bringing the flowers up to her face and sampling the pleasing aroma. Not nearly as beautiful as you are. Stan secretly wished he could say out loud but found the words stuck on his tongue.
Clumsily he stammered out, "Oh-oh no need to thank me. I just wanted to make sure you didn't forget what today is..." he trailed off mentally chastising himself for sounding like an idiot.
A small glint of disapproval flashed in Alberta's soft eyes before she hastily tucked it away. Stan resisted the urge to furrow his brows wondering if he just said something to offend her. For a moment there was an awkward silence before Alberta composed herself and cooly prompted, "Was there anything else you wished to discuss with me Guardian Alto?" she had a distant mask on her face now and Stan definitely realized he must of upset her.
Sensing a fleeting drive to give up, he stepped closer to her, forcing himself to confidently ask, "Alberta I know this is last minute, but do you have any evening plans for tonight?" Taken aback by the unexpected question, Alberta just stared at him utterly dazed by the inquiry. Stan felt the terrifying clutches of rejection begin to gnaw at his confidence but he fought against it and decided today was the day to come clean once and for all.
With cautious intensity, he clasped the free hand she had lazily rested on the desk earlier when he first came in. When she didn't pull away, he held her gaze intently.
While tenderly stroking his thumb across her knuckles he confessed, "You are an extraordinary woman Alla." Alberta's breath caught as she recognized Stan knew her nickname. Something she didn't share with most people, save for her family. A distracting heat began to grow in her chest from the sweetness in his voice at the way he spoke her name so affectionately.
Stan's lips twitched sensing she may share the same feeling for him as he so eagerly does for her. He caressed her wrist with his fingertips, impressed by his profound ability to not tremble even though his heart was beating faster than a humming bird's right now. He pressed on, "You captivate me in every way imaginable." Alberta grew shy as he glanced at her body through dark lashes, "Please do me the honor of being my date tonight."
For just a moment Alberta considered denying his request. She always liked for men to work hard for and earn the privilege to taking her out on a date but seeing the bare lust and pure care in Stanley's eyes, she just couldn't say no. He licked his lips and bore his dark ocean blue eyes into hers, silently sending the message that he could satisfy her like no other man could ever possibly try if she'd give him the chance. Alberta chewed her cheek as she started to feel aroused by the sheer thought.
With a coy smirk she freed her hand from his and murmured in a sultry voice, "Pick me up at eight and don't be late."
Slightly stunned at her words, Stan gave Alberta a small grin before walking to the door and swinging it open, "I'll see you tonight then." he murmured before ducking out of her office with an extra strut in his step.
When he rounded the corner to exit the building, it was then that he realized he had no actual real plans for tonight. In his mind just getting the woman to say yes was a feat all in it's own. His skin paled and chest tightened as the reality set in, he had no proper clothing for a date and didn't have the slightest clue where to get a good reservation in Montana. "Oh dear..." he whispered underneath his breath.
Stan was afraid, that much was for sure, but with Alberta's lingering touch still tingling on his skin, he was determined to make this work. He had to he silently protested.
Stanley Alto felt butterflies in his stomach and a restless pitter-patter flutter in his heart because today, finally after all this time, his dreams were coming true...
