inspired by fellow tumblr-ite "allenting" who loves cpd more than i do. this is my reconciliation piece for "erin & jay: scarring, marring" and it's very much a feel-good (except for like, two lines) have no fears.

(credit to the creators of chicago p.d. where it is due.)


a war about what to call the 300 raging for months—the whole affair starting with erin calling it "chris" to be cute… and then using the nickname in earnest when jay insists that there's no way their wheels will ever be called someone so boring as "chris".

jay's vote being for spartacus and adam and kevin both backing him on it. alvin chuckling at their antics with voight just watching on in that not-quite disapproving way that he does. (mouse apparently refusing to take sides but actually being on board with chris. it's much friendlier than spartacus.)

the war over what to name the 300 joining the continuing battle over whose radio stations to play. (they've tried shifts; it never lasts.) erin liking a mix of pop and dance with jay preferring country or old rock music and there is no such thing as middle ground.

the last cost to get out of a stake-out with halstead and lindsay was almost two hundred bucks and a week of free drinks at molly's.

jay insisting on a monthly check of the emergency supplies stashed in the trunk. erin grousing about it until they slip off the road one winter and the flares are what save their hides.

erin always having a snack stash in the car. under her seat, in the glove box, tucked in the seat pockets, for when she gets what jay refers to as hangry. she started the habit but jay's the one who actually keeps her supply stocked.

alternatively, erin having to get increasingly creative about where she hides her foodstuffs because jay just eats. like, he never stops. they get lunch and half an hour later he's working through a second power bar. it's both gross and unfair, plus he never thinks to bring his own snack and thus eats hers.

the chris vs spartacus contention just becoming a part of life. notes with their preferred name choice underlined. pointed stating of the correct name. the rest of the district doesn't think they'll ever make a decision just because they have too much fun bickering over it.

erin taking chris in for a detailing, wash, and wax on jay's birthday and grinning for hours at the surprise on his face when he sat down inside it afterwards. (she's not always a slob, alright?)

jay spending hours in the backseat scrubbing while erin recuperates from a .22 to the gut that her vest didn't stop. the blood smell lingers longer in his mind then in spartacus' seats.

a tissue box becoming a permanent fixture after jay's bout of the flu, an illness which got promptly passed to erin, to no one's surprise. (even she is grossed out by the pile of used tissues.)

that bullet hole still marring (chris) (spartacus) the 300′s paint job is a matter of pride because they went six months before getting their ride shot up for the first time and kept the hole in commemoration.

hanky panky is restricted to home or their private vehicles (and the back room at molly's but it was one time) because erin swears she caught voight peering through chris' back window once and refuses to be on the receiving end of one of his looks. (you mean the "dad look", babe.) (whatever.)

let's be real, no one drives the 300 except halstead and lindsay. no one. except voight, if he's feeling like jerking their chains.

there's that time a suspect got them both locked in the 300′s trunk and it took antonio and ruzek hours to find them. erin and jay refuse to discuss that particular case to this day. (everyone's just thankful voight was out of town visiting justin.)

alright, they've gotten distracted making out in the 300 (a couple), (a few), okay, maybe several times, but it's always been on lunch break. … most of the time.

erin is the one who swears over bad driving, despite having been taught to drive by voight, but jay is the one to more grossly break the speed limit. (we are cops; do you think we should make more of an effort to follow the speed limit? a pause. nah.)

jay keeping a small stash of empty grocery bags under the passenger seat ever since that one time they combined a high speed chase with erin's mild case of food poisoning. (there are moments of his life he never wants to relive and that's one of them.)

the 300 having born witness to the worst of their fights—am i your partner or not, erin? because you either make a choice or i'm walking—becoming their silent mediator, a wordless confidante, and keeping the broken apologies afterwards a secret forever.

some of the best memories in the 300 being made during a long drive out to kansas to courier sensitive information, taking turns driving, trading stories about childhood trips, singing along to loud country music that ends in laughter.

getting caught in tornado weather on the way back and having to stop at a roadside motel to wait out the storm, parking spartacus (come on, only spartacus would be brave enough to go out in this weather) right outside before grabbing the remaining takeout and enjoying a night away from the rush of chicago.

jay making a joking comment about upgrading from their little chrysler to the ram 1500 or maybe weaseling their way into an escalade like voight has and erin just giving him the most betrayed look. (you want to trade in chris? he's a part of this unit, jay!)

that is the only thing both erin and jay can agree on when it comes to (chris) (spartacus) … the 300. it is most definitely a he.

jay taking to doing minor maintenance on spartacus himself. the two of them spending saturday afternoons at the district garage, erin reading or working on paperwork unless she feels like learning while jay plays grease-monkey under the hood.

nobody envied ruzek the day he third-wheeled with halstead and lindsay and made the mistake of clambering into the backseat after tromping through a junkyard on a rainy day. jay swears there are still mud stains on the carpets.

the 300 coming with them to wisconsin and the cabin for memorial day weekend. jay swimming in the lake and erin sunning herself on chris' hood until jay drags her, shouting and laughing, into the water with him.

(her arms looped around his neck as he treads water for them both, her head tilted back to soak in the sunlight and jay just watching her. knowing that this is all he wants out of life.)


currently, the sixth and last of the cpd metas i have written (for the time being) but i have three prose pieces that are next on the list to be posted.

thank you for perusing this scrawl! comments, critiques, and concerns are always welcome.