"This potion is very potent, yet entirely useless. It simply makes one act very much unlike ones true self and say things one would never say out loud. Similar to a truth serum but much more degrading." Snape swirled the vile of pink liquid in circular motions. "It is the Insolitus Verum Potion usually used in pranks and underhanded methods of discrediting your rivals." He finished off the lecture by mumbling, "I don't even understand why it is required to teach it to you.
Fred and George grinned maniacally at each other.
Malfoy felt strange. He was acting even stranger, his fellow Slytherins noticed. He was smiling brilliantly and openly at everyone that passed, breaking out in random giggles and... skipping.
Yes Malfoy was... skipping down the hallway humming nonsense tunes under his breath.
Wait now he was singing... rather badly.
"What the hell..." muttered Crabbe. Goyle looked like he was smelling something really bad.
"Has Malfoy cracked?" inquired Pansy from the side.
"Maybe... I have no clue..." Blaise wore a mask of disgust to hide his growing desire to laugh.
"Oh what a wonderful day!
I sing all my cares away!"
It was official... Malfoy had snapped, cracked, gone off the deep end. The pressure had been too much to handle and now he had gone crazy.
And everyone in Hogwarts was witnessing it.
"It's getting worse." Pansy muttered.
Malfoy was now spinning around the hallways, doing pirouettes, singing nonsense songs, grabbing unlucky passerby's and whirling them in circles with him.
"I like you all! I feel fabulous!" His friends were following him at a wary distance.
"Wow." Came a voice as they entered the entrance hall, a voice that they did not want to hear right now, "What on Earth have you been into Malfoy?" At the foot of the main staircase was the Golden Trio and their pose.
Harry and Hermione looked completely gobsmacked, Ron was dying with laughter, and the twins were sniggering with obvious evil intent.
"It was the twins. I bet anything it was the twins that did this... whatever this is..." Blaise muttered crossly under his breath. How humiliating was this? How humiliating that their most prominent house-mate was acting like an imbecile... and it got even worse.
Malfoy suddenly ran up to Harry and pulled him into a maniacal dance across the entrance hall. Harry looked terrified and he seemed to be trying to wrench out of Malfoy's grasp, to little avail. Now even the Slytherins had to hold back their laughter.
Yes Malfoy was acting like a moron... but at least he was bringing Harry down with him.
"Sing with me Harry!" Malfoy shouted as he spun the boy-who-lived-and-was-currently-dying-of-embarrassment around. "We are on top of the world!"
The twins were laughing hysterically now, but Ron was looking horrified. Hermione still looked gobsmacked.
And then it happened. Malfoy suddenly stopped the suicidal dance and grabbed Harry by both sides of the head. His grin was crazed as he brought the shorter boy in for what seemed to be the most passionate, soul-searing kiss anyone had seen him give. (Not that any of them had ever seen Malfoy kiss anyone.)
Harry's hands scrabbled at Malfoy robes, trying desperately to push the taller boy away. No one was laughing now. Everyone watched the kiss as it dragged on past human possibility. Was that tongue? Was Draco Malfoy FRENCH KISSING Harry Potter.
It was all very surreal.
"What the Hell is going on here!" Came Snape's angry voice... but no one could tear their eyes away from the two boys. Harry looked like he was having trouble breathing and his knees seemed to give out on him. This didn't faze Draco though who continued kissing Harry while bending over the kneeling boy.
Snape looked stunned for a moment before storming over to the boys. He wrenched them apart and looked in Malfoy's eyes ignoring Harry, who had fallen to the floor in a heap.
"Insolitus Verum Potion! Who the hell gave you this?" Snape looked furious as he held back Malfoy, who seemed determined to get back to kissing Harry. "If I find out who did this, suspension will be the least of their worries!" He glared at the twins. Though he had no proof he knew it was them. "I knew that potion should have been off the curriculum ages ago."
Harry was starting to get back, albeit shakily, to his feet as Snape dragged a struggling Malfoy away.
"I think I may love you Harry! Let us make sweet love!" Draco called back to the now motionless boy, "Harry!" he called as Snape dragged him round the corner leading to the dungeons, "HARRY!"
And he was gone. Harry still didn't move. When Ron, Hermione, and the twins came over to ask him if he was okay he didn't reply. He remained motionless.
"You know," Blaise overheard one of the twins say, "I hear the Insolitus Verum Potion makes you do things and say things you normally wouldn't but it's basically like the truth serum in that the things you say are true." Blaise's eyes widened in shock. Then that meant...
"So basically ickle Dragon boy really does love you." the other twin finished.
Harry fell over backwards in a dead faint and Blaise could only agree with the sentiment.
What can I say? I think someone slipped something in my drink... But oh my god I was laughing while writing this. It is straight from the most cracked out corners of my insane mind.
