Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Hello, my dear readers!
I have been on a Doctor Who kick, and I just recently watched the episode where the Doctor looses Rose. And I thought "What if she WAS pregnant? What if, just what if, the Doctor lost not only her, but a child, his child?"
So yes, I am about to break both of this poor man's hearts, in true fashion. Always the what ifs, ya know?
So, without further ado, I give you my first Doctor Who fanfiction.
Sit back, and enjoy.
Love always,
Avoline
He tried to hold back the tears as she stood before him. The window between the universes was about to close. There was so much he wanted to say to her. So much he also wanted to do with her. He wanted so badly to show her the moon. There was still Barcelona (the planet of course, but the city would be nice too) and the face of boe.
He also wanted to try, just try, and see if maybe, just maybe, he could have another family, with her. She was everything he could ever want. She was what he needed, for Rassilon's sake! Surely the universe couldn't be so cruel as to separate them.
"It'll be five of us now," she stated, pulling him from his thoughts. "Mum, Dad, Mickey, me… and the baby."
He froze. She couldn't be. Oh, Rassilon, she couldn't be pregnant. Not with his child. Not by him. No, no, no, it couldn't be.
But what if she is? He felt the fear creeping in. If she was pregnant, the child could kill her. If it didn't, she would be left trying to raise a half-Gallifreyian child on her own, without him. He would never get the chance to hold his child, never get the chance to have a family again. His hearts ached with the possibilities.
"You're not…"
Her eyes met his, and he almost collapsed. She was pregnant. She was carrying his child, and she was trapped in a parallel universe without him. Rassilon, if she died trying to carry his child, he would never forgive himself.
"Rose, I will find a way to you; I will help you, in any way," he began, talking as fast as he could. The window was closing; he was running out of time. "I don't know how this will affect you, with the child being half-Gallifreyian, but I will protect you. Even if I have to destroy everything to get to you, I will!"
He was almost shouting now, the tears threatening to flow. He needed her to know, though. He needed her to know that nothing would stop him. Time Lord or not, he would do whatever it took to protect her.
Even from their child.
"Doctor, you can't-"
"I don't care," he almost sobbed. "If this kills you, Rose, I will NEVER forgive myself. I love you, Rose Tyler, and I will stop at nothing to protect you, even from our child!"
She started fading. Rassilon, no, he needed to tell her. He needed to make sure the fetus wouldn't kill her.
"I love you, too, Doctor," she sobbed.
Just before the window closed.
"NO," he shouted, dashing around the consol room. He had to get back to her, make sure she would be safe. "No, no, no, TAKE ME BACK!" He pushed every button he could find, some of which he wasn't entirely sure what they did. All he knew was he had to get back to Rose. "SHE NEEDS ME! Damn it, TAKE ME BACK TO HER NOW!"
He finally surrendered and collapsed to the floor, ignoring the cold metal below him. The tears fell freely, and, for the first time in years, he cried his hardest. His sobs soon turned into screams, and he did nothing to stop them. He couldn't if he tried, anyway.
Worst of all was the pain. Oh, Rassilon, the pain. He was certain both of his hearts were nonexistent at this point. It consumed him, to where all he felt was the old familiar pain from so long ago.
"This was my only chance," he whispered, mostly to himself. He could care less if the TARDIS listened or not. It, like the universe, clearly could care less about him. "This was my chance to be happy for the first time since the war. She was my last chance. And now I've lost her." He bit his lip. He was positive now that he would never see her again. She would forever be lost to him.
"If you can't take me back to her, at least take me somewhere so that I can die in peace," he pleaded. The lights dimmed slightly in response. "Please, I beg of you, if I can't live with her, I'd rather not live at all."
He knew it would never happen. The TARDIS would protect him at all cost, no matter how much he demanded. He was still the Time Lord. He still had a job to do. The universe, as cruel as it was, still needed him.
Not near as much as my Rose…
"Rose," he whispered, curling into a ball as the pain returned. "Please, Rassilon, don't let something happen to her."
I'm so, so sorry, my wonderful Rose.
