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If 'Criminal Minds' was real... and if I was a victim...
Season One Episode One: Extreme Aggressor
Summary: After three Seattle women turn up dead (strangled) and a forth one goes missing, SSA Gideon returns to the BAU team after six months of leave. One of the unsubs lurers the women in by pretending to sell a car online and taking them for a test drive- he then locks the cars doors and drives them off to his secret hiding spot.
If I Was Heather Woodland (fourth woman to go missing)
Part One:
The unsub and I are in his car and he's 'driving me back to my workplace'
Me: Okay, so you turn here...
Unsub: *Keeps driving- doesn't say anything*
Me: Okay... you missed it, but okay, you can take the roundabout up here...
Unsub: *Driving*
Me: *Muttering to myself* Shit I'm going to die. *Out loud* Okay stop the car (might as well give it a shot...)
Unsub: *Locks doors*
Me: *To myself* Oh wait... I'm wearing boots and the window is made out of breakable glass... *Out loud* KARATE! *Kicks out window, swiftly takes off seat belt and jumps out window* YEAH! *Gets hit by car in other lane*
Part Two:
The unsub somehow has captured me again and has me caught in a cage in his undisclosed location
Unsub: The FBI is on to me... I have to kill you now.
Me: Well I've already been hit by a car...
Unsub: SHUT UP! *Opens cage*
Me: KARATE!
Unsub: Again with the 'karate'? I thought you realised it doesn't work. You got hit by a car...
Me: *Face punch* *Runs away*
Unsub: I'm going to kill you!
Me: I can't see! *Runs into pole*
Unsub: *Football dive* *Shoots me in face*
Me: Aw...
Part Three:
Apparently my skull is so thick I am invincible from head shots... so now Gideon and Elle have the unsub cornered and he has the gun to my head... AGAIN.
Unsub: Do you think I'm stupid?
Gideon: I think you're an absolute moron- wait. Why is there a bullet wound in her forehead?
Me: I know right! Extremely unattractive...
Gideon: I mean... is that a bullet wound...
Me: Yeah...
Gideon: So the gun has no effect on you?
Me: Apparently not.
Gideon: Then just walk away...
Me: Oh right... *walks away*
FBI: *makes arrest*
Elle: Well that was easy...
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