Note: I don't own The Suite Life or any of the actors. Tapeworm's my favorite character in the whole show though, so I thought he deserved a story. The hotdog story is true, by the way (he ate 20). I made up his name though--and basically everything else is made up besides the fact that he's a math genius. Yeah, so that's about it.
I glance nervously at Cody. He's a lot quieter than usual today. Being his best friend besides Zack, I know when something's wrong with Cody.
"Hey," I say, trying to sound casual. "You alright, Cody?"
"Yeah," he mutters, keeping his eyes away from me.
Yeah, something's wrong alright. Cody has got to be the most pathetic liar on the planet. He always pulls his eyes away, like he thinks the floor is the most interesting thing he's ever seen.
"No man," I say, punching him playfully in the arm. "Seriously, are you ok?"
"Yeah," he says, looking away from me and out the window. "It's nothing."
Sure, I think to myself, as I pull one of my hands through my dark brown hair. Sure.
"Tapeworm?" he's asking me.
"Yeah, Cody?"
"I…" he breaks off. I don't think he can tell me yet.
"It's ok, Cody," I say. "It's ok."
I turn my head and look a couple of seats back. There's Zack, sitting with Max and Bob. He's talking to about a gajillion people all at once. It's sort of funny actually.
Zack and Cody are twins, and they're almost nothing alike.
I mean, well Zack has that whole appearance that he's all cool and stuff, and then Cody's just nice and open to everybody. Zack thinks I'm a dork. Cody wouldn't care if I had three noses. It's just like that.
I think the only reason why Zack really puts up with me is because I'm tight with Cody. Otherwise, he'd just ignore me. Or kill me, for that mater.
Sometimes I think he's going to.
Like last week, Zack and I get into this huge fight over something really stupid. I actually forget what it is. It may have had to do with some churros Mrs. Martin got us.
Anyway, Zack and I were like screaming our heads off at each other, and then Zack got this weird evil look in his eye like he wanted to kill me. And then he grabbed a fork and pointed at me like it was a knife.
Yeah, what's a fork going to do to me? He looked like he wanted to take that fork and stab my heart and eat it for breakfast or something. It was really weird.
Anyway, Cody starts telling us to cool down and that everything's going to be alright. And pretty soon, Zack doesn't look so angry anymore, and that weird crazy look in his eyes is gone.
And that just says how great it is to have Cody as a friend. You get protection from his crazy older twin, and he's a nice guy.
When Zack and Cody first came to school, Zack got all the friends. Everybody liked Zack. And Cody just sort of sat over there in the corner. I was sort of different back then. I hung out with Zack. Well, back then I was just Sean. Sean Axle.
How did I get to be Tapeworm? Well, one day Zack dared me to eat ten hotdogs at once. I love hotdogs. I swear, whoever created them is a genius. There's like that perfect meat substance—I actually don't want to know what's really in there—in a soft bun. Add ketchup, mustard, relish, and onions—you're in Heaven. Anyway, I outdid him. I ate twenty. And then I puked for about a solid hour after, but that's ok. So Zack nicknamed me Tapeworm. And it stuck. The only person who calls me Sean—sometimes—would be my mom.
So I was friends with Zack. I never really paid attention to Cody. He was just the dork on the sidelines: the one who loved school and got straight A's.
But then I got moved to advance placement math. (Yeah, I'm really good at math. I'm what they call "math genius"). And besides the really scary kids in there like Agnes, there was Cody. So I stuck with Cody.
And I ended up surviving taking Algebra in sixth grade.
Cody and I became friends. After I got moved to advance placement, Zack sort of stopped talking to me. I guess I was a dork too.
I survived taking Geometry in seventh. I took Algebra II with Cody in eighth.
But now, since we didn't finish Algebra II in eighth, we're taking it again as freshmen.
But still, you have to admit I'm pretty smart. At least in Math.
You see, Cody's like smart at everything. He's pretty much good at everything too. Well, except for basketball. And baseball for that matter.
He probably has the worst hand-eye coordination of anybody in the school.
But scratch that. Cody's super-smart at everything else.
I'm only good at Math. And I can play some sports. But I'm an average player—Zack's the best one. And I'm really bad at English and Social Studies.
All the letters just swim around and I have no idea what I just read. Before, I got by with D's in those classes. Until Cody came.
When Cody and I were closer, he helped me. I got B's. (Hey, it's not an A, but they're way better than D's). Zack scoffed, but Cody didn't care.
That's another thing. Cody doesn't care what others think of him. He only cares what he thinks of himself.
I like that in a friend. And since he'd done so much for me, I needed to do something for him.
Which brings us back to reality.
Something's wrong and I'm going to find out what it is.
"Tapeworm?" Cody asks.
"Yeah?" I say.
"I know you don't like Zack but…" he trails off.
I'm afraid he's going to ask me for a favor like the time when we were getting ready to go to Math Camp and I had to go get him his Blankie. That was embarrassing. Everybody was staring at me holding that little blue felt blanket, and the worst part was when I was going to give it to him, he told me he didn't want it anymore—like he was a big boy now. So then I had to take it back, through the Tipton's lobby. Stupid blanket.
"Yeah?" I try to sound disinterested, but it's not really working. What about Zack?
"Could you sort of… try to get along with him?"
"Why?" If there's one thing I do that some people don't like, I don't pretend. I don't pretend to like someone that I don't like. Ooh, and another thing that drives me absolutely crazy is an artificial person.
Whoops, I got off-track again. Back to the present.
"He…"
"What, Cody?" I'm sort of starting to get impatient.
"He really doesn't like you. He doesn't want me to hang out with you anymore."
I roll my eyes. What's new? Zack hasn't liked me ever since I became math genius wonder child. But who cares? Cody likes me.
And Cody's the better twin.
"Please?" Cody's pleading me with those huge brown eyes.
You can't say "no" to those sad looking eyes. Trust me. I've been pressured into things a lot by those eyes.
"I'll do my best," I say, but I know it's not going to happen. Because right after first period, Zack does something that just ticks me off…
