This is my first Office story, please keep that in mind as you review! :)
SUMMARY: Michael hires a new receptionist. This was supposed to be a Dwangela story, but then I got sidetracked. It will be more about them in the later chapters, though.
Chapter One
Pam's Gone, Angela's Con
Shot of the office. Everyone is at their desks except Pam, who is not there. No one is at her desk.
Interior of Michael's office.
Michael Talking Head: So apparently Pam is leaving the good people here at Dunder Mifflin alone. For three months. She just left, actually. I had… no idea she was leaving! Well, that's not true, I did, I just forgot. I've had a lot on my mind lately, with Jan being pregnant, and girl issues, and all. Not that I'm the girl… a girl, who's having issues. I meant, I'm having issues with girls. (Corrects himself.) Women. Sorry, that's unprofessional. …Not that the woman I like is necessarily a person who I have a professional relationship with.
Clip of Michael running up to Holly's desk and messing up her papers. Holly laughs.
Michael Still TH'ing: Anyhoo… I've got to get someone behind Pam's desk and answering calls ASAP. Pronto. Prontoooo….
Michael leans back in his chair and starts to play with his toys. He looks up.
Michael: What? …Oh, right.
Shot of entire office. Michael opens his door and looks around.
Michael: Hmm… single male, single male… uh, Jim!
Jim turns around in his chair.
Michael: Hey, you single yet?
Jim: Michael, for the last time, Pam and I are—
Michael: Okay, okay, Jimmy Boy. I'm sure nobody watching this cares.
Michael, always right, gives the camera a knowing look.
Michael: Uhh, Dwight! You're single, right?
Michael gives the camera a look that says, 'Obviously.' He doesn't wait for Dwight to answer.
Michael: Step into my office.
Dwight: All right!!
Dwight gets up and runs into Michael's office, very excited. Jim gives the camera a look.
Jim TH: I think Dwight might've finally gotten over his heartbreak, which is good. He's acting like himself again. On the other hand… Dwight is acting like himself. Again.
Cue clip of Dwight annoying Jim:
They both sit at their desks, working.
Dwight: Question. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a BlowPop?
Jim: (Mostly ignoring him.) It's Tootsie Pop Dwight.
Dwight: What?
Jim: (Typing on computer.) Tootsie Pop.
Dwight: (Very upset.) Aw, man! I had Mose counting for over two hours last night! And now, his tongue… is bright green! Gah!
In his frustration, Dwight knocks Jim's phone to the ground. Jim gives one of his 'Jim' looks to the camera. Dwight tries to regain his composure.
Dwight: Sorry, Jim.
Dwight picks up the receiver as if he is about to put it back on Jim's desk, then deliberately drops it on the floor again.
Dwight: Hah!
Dwight points at Jim and laughs. Jim shakes his head in annoyance and disgust while picking his phone up from the floor.
Back to the present. Dwight and Michael are in Michael's office. Michael is looking out his window at the office.
Michael: Dwight, we need to choose a girl to be the receptionist until I get around to hiring a new one.
Dwight: Question. How long will that be?
Michael: I don't really know. I put an ad out in the local paper though.
Michael grins and holds up the paper to the page with the ad. Dwight reads the ad.
Dwight: Smart. Good thinking, Michael. This makes it seem like we're selling a receptionist, though.
Michael: Oh, geez… Dwight….
Dwight: I just don't want us to get caught up in a prostitution ring and—
Michael: Okay, Dwight, don't be an idiot. Just… help me decide which girl should answer phones, all right?
The phone at Pam's desk rings. Michael cracks open his door.
Michael: Jim!
Jim sighs, stands up, and goes to answer the ringing phone.
Jim: Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim…
Michael: (Closes door.) So, who do you think it should be?
Dwight: Why does it have to be a girl?
Michael: (Correcting him.) Woman, Dwight. (Looks at camera.)
Dwight: Fine, why does it have to be a woman?
Michael: Because we need a pretty face to represent Dunder Mifflin, Scranton….
Dwight: But what about that time you had Ryan answering the phone?
Michael: What did I just say about "pretty face?" Also, his job wasn't that important. (Nods at camera.)
Michael TH: Am I sad that Ryan is in jail? Yes and no. Yes because he was my good friend and helpful in attracting the lady-types. Not that I need a lot of help in that department, but…
Michael opens up his cell phone and shows it to the camera. He has a picture of Ryan as his background.
Michael TH: I mean, look at that face. Wait, I think I have a better picture on here….
Michael moves his computer mouse. The screen goes off of the screensaver (which also seems to be pictures of Ryan) to show a bigger photo of Ryan as Michael's desktop background.
Michael TH: Just look at him! (Laughs.) Anyway, no because now there's no one to yell at me about neglecting to hire a new employee.
Back to Michael and Dwight discussing who should be the temporary Pam replacement. They are both looking out at the office.
Michael: The obvious choice would be Holly; she's the prettiest in the office….
Dwight: (Almost under his breath.) False.
Michael turns around to face Dwight.
Michael: What?
Dwight: Nothing, Michael.
Michael looks at Dwight a little suspiciously before turning back to the window.
Michael: Anyway… Holly's still getting settled into her job, she just recently figured out how to work her new chair… it would be wrong to ask her to answer calls.
Dwight: (Automatically agreeing.) Right, Michael.
Michael: How about Meredith, or Phyllis?
Dwight: No, neither of them is cut out for the job.
Michael: I agree. They don't look… (Eyes camera.) I mean… (Clears throat.) Moving right along. Who else is there?
Dwight: (Looking ecstatic that Michael agreed with him.) Angela.
Michael: Okay, okay. Pros and cons.
Dwight: Um, okay… she's sweet. Intelligent. Hard worker. Beautiful….
Michael laughs and glances at the camera.
Michael: Okay, Dwight, calm down. She is engaged, you know.
Close up of Dwight. He looks momentarily dumbfounded. After a beat, he finds words.
Dwight: Well, you asked—
Michael: Okay, what about cons?
Dwight: For Angela?
Michael: Yes, (Imitating Dwight.) "For Angela." Lay them on me.
Dwight is speechless. He cannot think of any bad qualities Angela has.
Dwight: Well… she doesn't like it if you kill something she loves….
Michael looks at Dwight for a few seconds, horrified.
Michael: …Okay, fine, I'll do cons. She… she's a bit uptight, sometimes cold. She might not be the best person to be people's first impression of the office, don't you think?
Michael doesn't wait for an answer, which is good, because Dwight sure isn't about to give him one. Michael puts on an unfriendly voice in imitation of Angela.
Michael: "Dunder Mifflin, this is Angela." (Laughs.) Right?
Dwight: (Insincerely.) Right.
Michael: So, who does that leave?
A few minutes later. Various shots of the office show almost everyone's desk, but not what used to be Pam's desk. The phone at the receptionist's desk rings.
Kelly: Dunder Mifflin, this is Kelly…!
Sorry if this ended kind of at an awkward place, but originally this chapter was twice as long until I cut it. So, that means I'll update soon! If anyone wants me to :)
