*SIGH* I know I should really be working on "The Journey," but I heard this song on my honeymoon, and it was just begging to be written. So now I'm giving in; maybe I'll be able to get back to work if I do. The song is called, "All You Can Do Is Wait," from the musical Anne and Gilbert (youtube…com/watch?v=UvVedR-rU2o), which is based on the books Anne of Avonlea and Anne of the Island from the Anne of Green Gables children's book series by L.M. Montgomery. In the musical, Gilbert sings this song as he pines for Anne. I liked this song because it was romantic and oh so desperate—kind of like Kazuki himself in a way. (^_^)
Song lyrics are in bold, and thoughts are in italics within quotes.
With a soft, contented sigh, Kahoko Hino slowly opened her large, golden eyes and stared up at the deep midnight blue patch of sky above her. It was the perfect spring evening. She basked indulgently in the final, lingering rays of the warm sun, snuggling a little more deeply into the springy, lush grass. As a soft breeze teased the green blades, making them bow and sway, a loud sneeze erupted from a few feet over on her left. With a laugh, she sat up and dug a tissue out of her purse for her olive-green-haired friend.
"Here you are, Hihara-senpai," she offered as she held out the tissue with a smile.
"Dank-kyu," he answered back, gratefully taking the tissue and wiping his nose. It was always so embarrassing how much snot came out.
"You're welcome," she responded simply before turning to dreamily watch the sunset-splashed landscape. "Thank you for showing me this place, Hihara-senpai. I never knew that someplace this beautiful existed so close to home." For a few more moments she took in the scene—fields upon fields of wildflowers of all colors stretching as far as the eye could see set upon a backdrop of sky streaked with deep, vibrant hues with just the right amount of cloud cover to make the whole scene glow in a soft, mellow golden light, each cloud like puffs of pure, spun sunlight. With a sigh of regret, she stood up. "Well, I'd better get going. Thank you again so much for…" she paused before grandly gesturing toward the valley, "All of this."
Kazuki could feel his heart swell until it threatened to burst with joy. On an impulse, he had decided to bring her to this place when they had met by chance earlier that day. "I'm glad you like it, Kaho-chan. Maybe next time we can have a picnic!"
"That's a wonderful idea!" she clapped her hands in delight. "Fuyuumi-chan would absolutely love the flowers, and the others would enjoy the breezy, wide-open space!"
"Uh…yeah!" he forced himself to sound enthusiastic despite the sudden stab of disappointment he felt. He had hoped they could keep this place between the two of them.
"I really have to get going or my mom will kill me!" she yelped after checking her watch again. "See you at school Hihara-senpai!" she called back cheerfully, waving good bye.
"Bye!" Kazuki called back, waving energetically from where he was seated with a big smile on his face. But as soon as her back was out of sight, the smile faded to a wistful look. "Kaho-chan, will you ever see me as more than just as your friend?"
As if trying to match his mood, the shadows lengthened, heralding the very end of the day. When the sun was shining, he could laugh and smile and pretend that all he ever wanted was to be her friend, but when the light began to fade from the Earth, he was reminded that yet another day had gone by where he had been unable to confess his feelings to the red-haired violinist. He knew that she wasn't interested in a relationship right now. She wanted to focus on her violin; she had told Tsuchiura as much when he had confessed his feelings a month ago.
He heaved a deep sigh. So he was forced to wait, to bide his time until she was willing. He was forced to hide his love for her in fear of being dismissed before the right time. He kept telling himself that someday he'd have his chance, but sometimes, that day seemed so far away that he wondered if it would ever actually come.
Feeling his heart ache even more, he put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. Then in a low, quiet voice, he began to hum. Whenever his emotions threatened to burst, he used music as a medium to vent it out. Usually he'd use his trumpet, but if he didn't have it handy, he found it helpful to simply sing out his feelings.
With a sigh, he stared at the horizon as the last vestiges of light left the Earth. Then, ever so softly, he began to murmur, "All I can do is wait. All I can be is optimistic." Shifting so that his arms draped over his propped knees, he continued, "All I can do is sigh. All I can do is try…" Closing his eyes, he lifted his head and sang more loudly, "Try not to tell you, 'I love you,' when you walk by." His shoulders dropped a little in hopelessness."Try to believe in fate." He gazed at the dark horizon despondently as he whispered,"When you love someone like that, all you can do is wait."
"Really, Kahoko," she scolded herself as she trekked back up the hill toward where she had last left Hihara-senpai, "How could you be so stupid and forget the stationery Mom asked you to pick up?" Suddenly she paused as an unfamiliar sound reached her ears, tensing slightly in case she needed to run.
"Is that someone…singing?" Her shoulders relaxed. "Ok, no wild animals or anything."
As she rounded the bend, she saw Kazuki bathed in the moonlight. With a surprised smile, she began to raise her hand in greeting; but then she stopped in her tracks, struck by the forlorn look on his face. Slowly her hand returned to her side. The cheerful friend and senpai that she always had known was gone, replaced by this youth with an aching desperation in his voice and the evidence of heartbreak on his face.
As she stared in shock and concern, the words began to filter slowly through her foggy conscience.
"And all you can do is know. And all that I know is that I love you."
She felt a jolt go through her. "Hihara-senpai is in love with someone?"
"All I can ask is why? All I can do is try—try not to tell you, 'I love you,' when you walk by."
Tears sprung to her eyes, her heart going out to him. "Oh poor Hihara-senpai! He must be in so much pain!"
As if responding to her thoughts, he clutched his chest with one of his hands and leaned back against the tree before resignedly sighing, "Try not to palpitate." He ran his fingers through his hair in defeat."When you love someone like that, all you can do is wait."
Gazing sadly at the stars, he continued in a tone that spoke of his overwhelming longing, "And all you can do is dream." He stood up and sang to the moon,"All you can do is count the hours. All you can do is try-" A dark look crossed over his face before he hit the tree with his fist in frustration. "Try not so hard to try!"Throwing back his head, he shouted out to the sky,"Try not to tell you, 'I love you,' when you walk by!" His voice faltered a little bit before he brokenly murmured, "Try to believe in hope. When you love someone like that, all you can do is cope." With a sigh, he looked out on the valley that not so long ago they had been viewing together."When you love someone like that, all you can do is dream."Turning to the side, he opened his mouth to continue before quickly coming up short, eyes widening as he recognized his audience.
Kahoko could feel her face flush a deep shade of red, the realization of her disgraceful actions washing over her like a tidal wave. She tried to look away, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't unlock her guilty golds from Kazuki's shocked ambers.
"What have I done?!" she panicked, "I just eavesdropped on some of Hihara-senpai's most painful, private thoughts!" She wrapped an arm around herself as if to try and hide her shame. "I can't believe I just did that!" As the suffocating silence held, she began to fidget, feeling more and more uncomfortable by the millisecond.
Finally, she managed to squeak, "H-Hello, Hi-Hihara-senpai," as she feebly lifted her hand in greeting.
He didn't respond, too stunned at her presence.
Squirming a little under his gaze, she hastily explained, "I…I…I forgot a bag here…" Suddenly spying it next to him, she darted over and grabbed it before scampering away like a frightened rabbit. "S-s-see…?" She lifted up the bag to show him.
Flushing in mortification, she scornfully berated herself, "As if that were a good enough reason for doing what I did!"
As another awkward pause weighed down even more heavily on the pair, she nervously fidgeted before finally stammering, "I…I should…I should go." She turned to leave, wishing a hole would just swallow her up and put her out of her misery.
"Wait." The command was spoken softly, but it had all the power needed to bring her to an immediate halt.
For what seemed like an eternity, she stood there, frozen, her heart pounding loudly in her ears.
He gulped before hesitantly asking, "Did…did you hear…?"
"…Yes…" she admitted, hanging her head. She bit her lip before continuing, "It…It was beautiful." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to compose herself. "I've never heard anything so moving…."
He looked up at the back of her head, a mixture of emotions crossing his face: surprise, joy, sadness, uncertainty, and the slightest touch of fear. He licked his lips and started to form her name.
"Umm…Hihara-senpai," she slowly turned around, biting her lip slightly. She kept her eyes downcast, fiddling uncertainly with her bag. "Who-whoever that person is….I mean…I hope…." She looked directly at him, all the sympathy and caring that she felt for her wonderful friend reflected in her eyes. "I hope that person will return your love. I really hope things will work out for you, Hihara-senpai."
"I…" he started, taking half a step forward.
"Yes?" she looked at him with a touch of trepidation. She could feel her palms begin to sweat. She unconsciously leaned forward, as if to better catch his words, her heart beating in double time.
Closing his mouth again, he shook his head. It wasn't time. He didn't know why he felt that way, but he knew it wasn't time. "Good night, Kaho-chan," he solemnly whispered, looking away slightly.
She blinked in surprise, letting out a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding. "Well," she smiled a little uncertainly and tucked a cherry strand of hair behind her ear before lifting her hand in farewell, "I guess I'll see you around, Hihara-senpai." As she turned to walk away, she let her smile dissolve into a puzzled frown and placed her hand on her chest. What was this strange feeling that was bugging her? She couldn't explain why his song had moved her so much. And she could have sworn there was something in his gaze just now. Something that made her feel…she wasn't sure exactly.
With a sigh, Kazuki watched her retreating back under the moonlight. As she rounded the bend, he softly sighed and gazed up at the moon with a sad, tired look on his face. In hushed tones, he whispered, "When you love someone like that, all you can do…is wait…."
I don't usually do stories that have unresolved endings, but it wouldn't really be following the spirit of the song if I actually managed to nicely tie up ends for Kazuki, now would it? I guess I can console myself by knowing that at least there were some hints of Kazuki x Kahoko in here.
Please review!
