"Hummel Tires and Lube."
"Well hello there, Paul Bunyan. This is your erstwhile political opponent, just giving you a heads-up. At exactly 5:04 pm, my new 'Vote for Sue' ad will air for the first time on Channel 9. Thought you might be interested."
Burt tried to keep his voice even. "I'm sure you're enjoying this, Sue, but I don't really have the time. I have one more vehicle to deal with and then I'm going home to eat dinner with my family."
"Ahh, yes. The family." He could almost see the way her eyes lit up maliciously. "Speaking of, do you know where your son is right now?"
He glanced across the shop to where Finn and Kurt were under the hood of a Ford SUV. "Yeah, I know exactly where BOTH my sons are."
"And do you know where Porcelain was last Wednesday night? About…..10:00 pm?" Burt was silent, glancing across the shop again at the boys working. "The ad airs in five minutes. You don't want to miss it." With that, Sue hung up.
Burt stood with the cordless phone in his hand for a moment before pressing the end call button and setting it down. He walked into his messy office at the back of the shop and turned on the small TV on the corner of the desk. He had to move a pile of invoices out of the way before the screen was fully visible. He picked up the remote. Oh-nine-select. Once the picture flickered into life on the scratched screen, he stepped back to the office door.
"Kurt? Come here a sec."
His son approached in his shop coveralls, wiping his hands on a shop rag. "Yeah, dad? We really need to get this last job done. Blaine's coming over for dinner at 6 and you know I won't let him see me like this."
Burt didn't answer, just looked at him steadily.
"Uh, dad?" Now Kurt looked wary.
"Kurt, you have about-" He glanced at the clock above the desk. "You have two minutes to tell me yourself where you were and what you were doing on Wednesday night." He watched Kurt's eyes widen, a flush rise in his cheeks. "And if you don't want to tell me, I have a hunch that Sue Sylvester's new campaign ad WILL tell me—in one minute." Burt pointed to the TV without taking his eyes off his son.
For a moment, Kurt seemed to hold his breath. Then his chin lifted. His voice was soft but steady. "Blaine and I—we went to—to Scandals."
Burt sucked in a breath. He had no idea what that was, but even the name sounded like bad news. "And what exactly is Scandals?"
Kurt's gaze held steady, with a look that Burt couldn't quite place. "It's a gay bar. In West Lima." He was staring at Burt now, and suddenly he realized that he did know what that look meant. It was a challenge. Another challenge in a seemingly endless series of them, testing the limits of his tolerance in having a gay son.
While Burt was trying to figure out how to respond, Sue Sylvester's mocking face filled the TV screen. He raised the remote still in his hand and turned the volume up.
"Blaine!" Kurt whisper-yelled into his cell as soon as his boyfriend picked up. "Blaine, turn around! Don't come to dinner tonight! You do not want to be around my dad right now!" He stood in his room, trying to strip out of his shop clothes while holding the phone. Losing patience, he punched the speaker button and dropped the phone on his bed.
"Kurt?" Blaine's voice came through the phone, muffled by the speaker being pressed against the comforter. "What's wrong?"
"He knows, Blaine!" Kurt can hear himself getting hysterical and tried to curb it, taking a deep breath.
Blaine's sucked-in breath on the phone was clearly audible. "He—he knows that we…" His voice strangles a bit at the end.
Kurt drops onto the bed next to the phone, bending over to unlace his work boots. "It was on TV, Blaine. He just saw it about 30 minutes ago at the shop."
There was a long silence from the phone. "Umm, Kurt? How could it be on TV? I admit I was distracted, but I'm sure I would have noticed a camera crew in my bedroom that night."
Kurt flopped back onto his bed, taking another deep breath before reaching down for his phone and bringing it up to speak into it. In the small corner of his brain that wasn't freaking out, he noted that he sounded almost normal now. He toed off his boots as he said, "I'm not talking about that, Blaine. I'm talking about us going to Scandals. Sue found out somehow and is using it against my dad in her latest smear campaign."
"Oh."
"So you can see why it wouldn't be a good idea for you to come to dinner tonight. My dad's pretty mad, and remember the time he threatened you with-" He was interrupted by several hard knocks at the door, and his dad's voice.
"Kurt, I really don't care about your hour-long moisturizing routine right now. Get cleaned up ASAP and get downstairs. Will is joining us for dinner so we can discuss damage control."
Kurt drew in a breath, and was dismayed to realize that it felt rather shaky. He felt the beginnings of panic. "OK, Dad," he called back. His voice was only a few pitches higher than usual. And then quietly into the phone, "Blaine I've gotta go and deal with this. Just don't come around here till I give you the all-clear, ok?" He hung up without waiting for an answer, running for the shower.
Carole had already designated herself to be the calm one in the midst of the current crisis. It had taken a few minutes to get a clear story from Burt when he came in, but once she did, she understood why Kurt had run for the safety of his bedroom. It hadn't stopped Burt from banging on the door to get him back out again. Now she stood in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for a salad while she listened to Burt rant. He was cut off by the ringing of the phone.
"Hello? Yeah, Jake, I saw it. Not too pleased with my kid right now." The doorbell rang and Burt's eyes rolled. "Hold on, someone's at the door. Probably coming to ask me in person if I know what my kid did."
Carole motioned for him to stay put, picking up a dish towel to wipe her hands. "I'll take care of it," she mouthed. She went to the door and opened it, to find Blaine waiting.
"Blaine. I'm surprised Kurt didn't call to warn you off."
"He did. But he didn't go to that bar alone." Carole thought Blaine was more nervous than she'd ever seen him, but was trying valiantly to hide it.
"Come on in then. Burt's in the kitchen. If you want a chance to speak to Kurt before his dad sees you, I suggest you head up to his room now."
"Thanks, Carole."
She walked back into the kitchen to find Burt with the phone in his hand, looking more irritated than before. She walked over, plucked the cordless phone out of his hand, then walked over to the base to unplug the phone cord from the wall.
"Carole-"
"You don't need another phone call from a well-intentioned or just plain gossipy friend asking if you've seen it." She laid a hand on his arm till he looked at her, then reached up to pull him to her for a quick hug. "The only people you really need to discuss this with are either here or on their way."
She drew back, waiting till he nodded, then let go. She returned to the cutting board, picking up a cucumber to continue slicing. "By the way, that was Blaine at the door." She saw Burt jerk from the corner of her eye.
"That kid's got some nerve, showing up here. Where is he?"
"Burt." Carole used her I-mean-business tone. "Stop and listen to me. Blaine told me that Kurt called him and told him to stay away tonight. He came anyway. Whatever mistakes the two of them made, he came here voluntarily to face you alongside Kurt. That should count for something, don't you think?"
She watched while Burt stood there, breathing hard. Then his shoulders slumped a little. "OK. I'll give the kid credit for that."
"Good."
"But he's still in a boatload of trouble, and so is Kurt, whenever they dare to show their faces."
"Give them a few minutes. I sent Blaine up to talk to Kurt before they come down for dinner."
"You what? Why? So they have time to get their stories straight?"
"Getting their stories straight hardly matters when they were caught on video. They can't very well deny that they were in a bar underage. I just thought they might want a few minutes to brace themselves."
"They're gonna need it."
Blaine knocked on the door of Kurt's en suite bathroom. He couldn't hear the shower running, so he knew Kurt was done. "Kurt? Just letting you know I'm here."
There was a shuffling behind the door and Kurt appeared with his hair already styled and a towel wrapped around his waist. "What the hell, Blaine? I told you to stay away. I'm surprised my dad didn't shoot you on the porch!"
"Carole let me in," Blaine said calmly. He couldn't help his eyes roaming over Kurt's chest, but reminded himself this was hardly the time. "I haven't seen your dad yet."
"Maybe we can sneak you out before he sees you—"
Blaine put up a hand to stop him. "No, Kurt. We went to that bar together, we decided to get fake IDs together. I was the only one who drank, you didn't. If anything, I'm more guilty and I'm not going to leave you to face the consequences alone." He watched Kurt's face for his reaction.
"You rehearsed that speech on the way over, didn't you?" Kurt asked. Blaine thought that was humor in his eyes.
"Well, maybe a little?" He admitted sheepishly. Kurt laughed outright now. "Well, your dad IS scary when he wants to be, Kurt. I had to fortify myself with something, and words were all I could find on short notice."
Blaine relaxed a little when Kurt stepped over the threshold to give him a quick kiss on the lips.
"I'm glad you're here," Kurt said as he passed by Blaine to get dressed. He reached into the top drawer of his dresser for boxers and then disappeared into his walk-in closet. Blaine felt a stab of disappointment when he realized that Kurt meant to get dressed in the closet. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked before, but—not the time, not the time, not the time—he chanted in his head. He waited till Kurt reappeared, walking over to where Blaine sat on the edge of his bed.
"C'mon then, let's fortify ourselves." Kurt tugged Blaine to his feet and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Blaine hugged Kurt in response and they just leaned together for a moment.
"KURT! BLAINE! Get down here!" Mr. Hummel's voice came clearly through the door.
Blaine felt Kurt sigh with his whole body, his grip loosening as he said, "We better go face the music." Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt's waist.
"Wait, Kurt. I just need to ask you one thing." Kurt quirked an eyebrow, waiting. "Umm…..what exactly did that commercial show? Just us dancing in the club, or…..did it show us when we went outside?" Blaine knew he must look scared now but couldn't help it. He started breathing again when Kurt smiled.
"No, Blaine. Just inside. What happened outside is still between us."
Blaine felt his shoulders sag in relief as Kurt pulled him to the door. "OK. Good then," trying for nonchalance. Then he gave up. "Oh God Kurt, if I thought your dad had seen that on video, I'd be climbing out your window."
Kurt turned to him with a smirk as he opened his bedroom door. "Courage, Blaine."
