AN: I don't own anything Glee-related or the Lionel Ritchie song. Hope you enjoy.
I'm here, in New York. But it cost me so much. This is, and always has been, and of course always will be my dream, but it changed. It became 'to go to New York with Finn.' But he pushed me away, to follow my dream. Does he not realise that my dream is different now, that I need him in order to make my dreams come true? Obviously not.
Walking along these blocks is not what it should feel like. It should feel amazing, like I'm where I belong, safe and secure. It doesn't. It feels like I'm missing something and the missing entity is if course Finn.
I try to make the most of being here, to get myself excited over going to NYADA, but that is another thing. Kurt didn't get in. I'm here, without Kurt, who I thought would always be joining me on the way to stardom through an excelling New York college. I am literally all alone in this intimidating city, and it's not what it should be like. I can't stand being alone here.
My latest imaginations of being in New York City are mainly based on the wonderful memories I have of Nationals last year, being here with the rest of Glee club. Because I was here with all of them, I realise how extra special it was to share the experience with others.
I miss them, all of them, so much. They were always there, in there own unique ways to help me, cheer me up when sad and overall just make the little moments in life much more memorable. I'm so glad I met every one of them.
I've spent time, by myself, walking through Times Square and Central Park. But it is so terrifying and useless just being alone all the time.
I guess I have made a decision. I don't think I can stay here, in New York. This is preposterous of course, as I have always been adamant about coming to Ney York and starring on Broadway. That hasn't changed, I just really want to share the experience with others; Kurt, Blaine, Finn and I call all come together next year. I can defer my entry to NYADA like the original plan was, I am perfectly happy with that.
I know that Finn wanted me to be here and not be kept back by him, but he not being here with me is what is holding me back. I'm going home. To Lima, to McKinley, to the Glee club, to my dads, to Kurt, Blaine and Mercedes, but most of all: back to Finn.
My mind was set, I rushed back to my shoebox apartment which I had always envisioned myself and Finn living in, and fished out my pink suitcase I had brought my things in. I packed my suitcase with everything that I could fit that I would need when returning home, anything that I did mind if I never saw again, and zipped it up firmly; ready to start the long walk back to the train station.
I walked briskly, rolling my suitcase behind me with my head up and a fierce look towards anyone who dared inhibit my journey, which unfortunately occurred a handful of times.
Whilst walking, I couldn't help but sing to myself some classic Lionel Ritchie; it truly uplifted my mood and I made myself feel better about what I was doing by singing it out.
Looking back
I can see the things
I should'a done, could'a done
I see so much of my life I let go by
But when you're young
All you know how to do is wrong
Life can play tricks sometimes, you know
You think you got everything
When you got nothing at all
The only way you know where you're going
You gotta take a fall, you've got to lose it all
I've been through love
(I'm coming home)
I've been through some pain I know
(I'm coming home)
Changes in my life
(I'm coming home)
Now I know what's meaningful
(I'm coming home)
I finished, and instantly felt more resolved about what I was about to do. I finally made it to the train station, went to the desk and bought a one-way ticket for the next train going to Lima, Ohio.
On my way to the correct platform, I got myself a coffee to go and a fruit salad for on the train before hurrying towards the train lugging my suitcase behind me one-handed. The train had just pulled into the station by the time I got there and it was easy for me to jump on with all my belongings and find my seat which conveniently was at a table.
The whole journey back home, all I could think about was what I was going to say to my dads, Finn and the others. Would they be upset or disappointed that I gave up and returned so quickly? I hope not, I can't turn back now though, no time to change my mind.
Once the train eventually pulled into Lima, I was already set to jump straight off and head towards the taxis outside the front of the station. Making a split-second decision, I gave the taxi driver the Hudson-Hummel address instead of my own, deciding I needed to see him straight away and it couldn't wait. Once reaching the house, I gave the driver his fare and hopped out with suitcase in tow, and made my way up the path to the front door.
Deep breath, don't worry so much. He's not going to hate you for this, surely? What if he didn't want her back in his life anymore, after all he said dropping me off unexpectedly at the station in the first place?
I got my wits together and rang the doorbell.
AN: Wow, I usually write short one-shots for Finchel, but this is definitely going to be multi-chaptered. Rachel's going to confront Finn next chapter. If you liked it please let me know, and if you think the story should include anything, tell me! I love reviews! Lol. Thank you for reading.
