A/N: Hello! This is o,previuy called Ass on Fire.

Read the title with the Sex on Fire tone, lol. (Yoouuuuhooo, your ass is on fire!)

This goes with the family from my Quinntana week. Any family Quinntana I do will be the same people (Kallie and Alex) unless they already meet with kids.

I have a very bad potty mouth as my little sister calls it (She's seven), so if you can't hand talk of farts, Don't read and press the back button. I'm also not very sure what to rate this cuz of the f word... oh well, its done. Lol. Enjoy!


"Stop touching the fucking radio, Quinn!" Santana fussed as she looked from the road to the Gps, to the road, to her wife. This had been going on since they first started the drive from california to visit Quinn's parents in Florida.

"Language, babe. There are kids the car Quinn laughed at her wife of 18 years. She looked back at their 17 year old son, Alex, and 15 year old daughter, Kallie, with a fond smile. Both were on the phone, tenting with their headphones on.

"Like they care enough to pay attention to us. Pff, please, Q. The only thing they care about are game, food, and ass." Santana said with a huff.

"So do you." Quinn pointed out with a blank face.

"Yeah, I should know!" She said like its obvious. They shared a laugh and went back to bickering over Iggy vs. Beyoncé failed to notice their son paying attention.

"Mom?" He asked in a semi deep voice right in Quinn's ear, causing her to jump and swerve the car.

"Jesus fuck, Alex! Santana screamed, getting Kallie to take her headphones out and look up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.. I just wanted you to know that I'm hungry." he said with a sheepish smile, peeping hiss head between the seats.

"Oh! Me too!," Kallie jumped in. Santana turned around to face her kids. She looked at their stomachs and decided to mess with them.

"I don't see your stomach moving, you must not be hungry. Quinn, keep going." She said in a matter of fact like voice and turned back around.

"Mama!" To please rang out from the back seat.

"What do you want me to do? Breast feed?" She said. "Sorry babies that ship sailed when I turned forty."

Quinn laughed at her wife' s antics, "Don't worry, mommy might have a little 'sip sip' left. You want to try and find out?" She raised an eyebrow, taunting her children.

The adults laughed while the kids called out gross and pretended to gag. Santana turned on the gps and looked for food places in the little hick town they were in.

"Okay, guys I have a Taco Bell coming up and a gas station with frozen pizzas in a glass. What will it be?"

"Taco Bell!" The teens grinned.

"I can't eat that, San." Quinn says to her wife. Santana looks at her with an amused but concerned smile.

"Babe, there's nothing else bit cow pissed grass." She says to Quinn. The kids laugh until their mom shoots them a look.

"But you know what that does to me!" Her wife whisper pleads. Santana just smiles and pats her knee.

"Just try baby." She gives a squeeze and a smile to which Quinn replies with a tired and upset pout and a sigh..

"Okay."


They had gotten Taco Bell, Santana started to drive, and everyone's stomachs were stated. Well... almost everyone.

Quinn's stomach began churning uncomfortably causing her to fidget in her seat and y let out a frustrated sigh.

"You ok, babe? " Santana asked and took her wife's hand in a comforting manner.

Quinn gave a weak smile and nods , "Yeah,just tired." She looked in the backseat and saw that the kids were sleep. "looks like they are too." She and her wife shared a smile.

They drove in a peaceful silence for about seven minutes before Quinn's butt decided to release a bit of air. fortunately for her, it was silent. unfortunately for everyone else, it crawled through the car like deadly mist.

Quinn tried to keep her face passive as Santana sniffed the air with a scrunched up face. She jerks back suddenly and beeps the horn at the offensive air, effectively walking up the kids. Alex looks ready for attack his head of curly brown hair shakes furiously as he karate chops air.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Santana yells. Quinn pretends to go along with the rest of them and holds her nose, looking back at Kallie who has her hand over her mouth, gagging with tears in her eyes. At least she thinks she's pretending until get gets a whiff herself. she frowns with a heartbreaking whimper at her own ass.

Quinn feels bad in more ways than one. Her eyes fill with panic as another gas bubble gurgles. L

"Mom, I can't feel my nose!" Kallie screams. Santana has her shirt over her noise while she keeps driving.

"Baby girl, if I could help I would, but you and I are in the same boat." Santana glances at her wife's face and gasp in horror at the guilty expression only she can read after so many years

"Quinn, tell me you didn't!" Santana whisper pleads/hisses to Quinn so the kids can't hear. Quinn just looks ahead and shrugs. "What the hell! I give you over half my life and this is what the fuck you give me!" She says spitefully.

Quinn's eyes harden and her jaw locks as she turns and glares at her. "You think I wanted to do this to you? My ass is on fire, Santana! Fire!". she hisses. her glare falters as she let's a poot in the sound of a slow wine. Santana eyes widen and she begins furiously punching the window buttons.

Alex and Kallie catch wind of what's going on (pun intended). They look at their mother with disbelieving and hurt filled eyes. "MOM! Why? I can't believe you!" Alex says with a pitiful whisper as a sounds of rapid fire fill the car from Quinn's hunched over frame.

She turns around and glare at all three of them. "You want to blame this on me? I wasn't the one who crying feed me, I'm hungry! I warned you, Santana so don't put this on me! Because of you, my ass feels like its toxic! I cannot-" her rant was cut off by a loud gurgle coming from her stomach. "PULL OVER NOW!"

"We're in the middle of nowhere!" Santana screams back.

"FIND A PLACE!"

"I CANT!"

"You better try or so help me, I will file for a DIVORCE!" Quinn yells in a rage while cltching her stomach as another round fires off. poppoppoppop Pop!

Alex and Kallie watch with a covered nose and wide eyes going back and forth between their red faced mothers. Santana looks alarmed and speeds up to 80 mph on the highway.

They soon see an orange roof any Santana hastily and dangerously pulls over with a sharp turn into the Home Depot. Quinn throws car door open before it even pulls to a complete stop. The Fabray-Lopez family can only watch she runs by confused construction workers.


A/N: hope you liked it! Lol, please rate and review but try not to hurt my feelings, I'm just a child! Lmao. No I'm just horribly immature. Thanks for reading!