(A/Ns: I said I'd be back, didn't I? I aint resting forever. So anyway, this is purely AU. I don't want to say too much now, but this story will eventually handle some pretty dark/serious themes such as drug use and addiction, suicidal thoughts, death etc. The story will not all be first person, it'll switch to 3rd person after this, and I'm hoping chapters will reach around 3.5-4k words. I'm hoping updates won't take much more than 2 weeks, but no promises on that one. This will also contain some yaoi, but no smut whatsoever - at most it's angst and a bit of fluff. If you don't like yaoi, don't read. Simple as.
Please review! I know this isn't the largest of fandoms but meh, in some ways that's better. Anyways, if you get the time, feel free to let me know what you think about the fic!
Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts or any of the characters)
Chapter 1 - Prologue
"Nepenthe"
Noun
1. a drug or drink, or the plant yielding it, mentioned by ancient writers as having the power to bring forgetfulness of sorrow or trouble.
2. anything inducing a pleasurable sensation of forgetfulness, especially of sorrow or trouble.
You hear those stories, about the people whose lives have been torn apart by something, which was completely out of their control. And you never think it'll be you.
It won't be you, right? No, it'll be the guy you bumped into on the bus, or the ex-friend you got grouped with in a school project. Or the stranger you shot a brief glance at, and made the quick assumption about that they were more broken than you. The point is, it'll never have anything to do with you. You're too good for that; too lucky for that.
Sometimes, and – as much as I'd like to put myself above this – I am included in this, we're just too presumptuous, and naïve; too arrogant to believe it'll be us. It's ugly, and disgusting – believe me, it is. However, we're better than that. We won't ever have to go through that.
It just won't be you.
But what you never consider is the chance of meeting someone who's been through all of that.
And then it hits you like a fucking train: they probably thought it wouldn't be them. Chances are they thought it'd be you, not them. No one ever thinks it'll be them.
But what if you did meet someone like that by chance? Someone who thought "it won't be me". And now they're stuck in something which they can't stop.
And now you've entered their life.
There's even less of a chance that your roads will directly cross, and you'll end up with them every single goddamn day of their broken life.
And from there, the chances of recovery, and a happy ending, are almost non-existent. If I hadn't have experienced it for myself, I'd say it was impossible. Anyone you retold this to would just think it was cringey, and cliché. For the best part of it, I'd say they were right.
I don't believe in fate. Although, whilst I'd like to believe this was just a coincidence, I can't shake the feeling that part was meant to happen.
If this didn't happen, where would we be now? I'd be lonely.
He'd probably be dead.
Until you see these things for yourself, you can't comprehend it. And I don't care who you are, or how good your empathy is; you can't.
But the endless nights, the tears, the fights, the constant worrying, the nights spent on the bathroom floor crouched in front of the toilet wondering if there's truly an end to any of this – it's not something you need to experience for yourself. Maybe it was worth it, maybe it wasn't.
It won't be you? That's what I said. That's what he said, before it did.
Oh, and I probably should've told you who I am already. If you wanted to know, my name is Elliot, and this is the story of the extent to which I went in order to fix his life for the better.
And his name was Leo.
