Familiar Shadow

The outline of Jade's body was barely visible as I looked towards my window, lying alone and still in the bed that I usually shared with Andre since we'd been married.

Tonight Andre was working late and storm clouds were closing in around our house before I had turned out the lights.

It was a surprise to see Jade in my window, whom I had not seen since we moved to New York a few months earlier. We had exchanged emails in that time, but she had never mentioned a visit. I knew from the time of night and her means of entering the house that it was meant to be unexpected.

I got out of bed and walked over to the window to allow her inside. It brought back memories of the past that Andre had never known about. In a way it made me feel strange because there was a part of our shared past that I had never told Andre even though we knew practically everything there was to know about each other's lives.

"What are you doing here," I whisper to her as Jade takes a seat in a chair that is in a corner of the room.

"I saw the forecast and Andre told me he'd gotten switched to late shifts. I know how you're afraid to be alone when there is a storm," she says as I sit on the edge of my bed looking over at her.

"We are adults now. You don't think I can handle a storm by myself already," I say in attempt to sound offended.

Just as I say this though I hear a clap of thunder and jump out of my seat and into Jade's arms.

"You can handle it huh," Jade says with one of her famous laughs.

I take my arms out from the embrace around her body so that I am free to cross them.

I stick my tongue out and stomp back over to the bed, withholding from my usual maturity.

I ignore the storm outside and look over at Jade who seems to be stuck in a daze.

I wave my hand in front of her and she snaps out of it with hesitation.

"What were you thinking about," I ask her with deep curiosity.

"I was just remembering the good old days. The times when I lived close enough to you that whenever there was a storm I could sneak over to your house to 'protect' you from your fear of thunder."

I smile at the memory of the past.

Then it turns into a frown as I think of what happened to those days back when.

"I'm sorry Jade," I say as a sincere apology.

"For what?"

"For not needing you to be there during storms anymore. It was something that we always kept between us, and it still is. Then it was mostly because I didn't want to admit my fear and you didn't want anyone to know you were a softie. After everything happened between Andre and I, I guess it must have felt like I'd replaced you with a new security blanket."

"Tori, that isn't something you had control over. Andre and you were meant to be and it was obvious for so long. We never loved each other that way."

I listen to her words and can feel that her last sentence was a flat out lie. I knew it too in my heart that it wasn't the truth. At some point in time we did have something, but we were just too young to notice it.

"You're wrong," I say after a moment of silence.

Jade looks at me and I know she is wondering what I mean.

"Wrong about what?"

I hesitate to say what is on my mind because it seems wrong to talk about while you are married to someone else.

"That I never loved you like I love Andre," I say as I move my head down to look at the floor.

She looks at me wide eyed as I lift my head back up at her, feeling ashamed to admit it and regretting
everything at the same time.

Her expression changes and she takes a deep breath.

"I love you too," she says shakily as if Andre could pop out of a corner any second.

It is her turn to look to the floor. She attempts to get up from her seat in the direction of the window to
leave, but I stop her.

"Jade...don't go."

"I have to. This isn't right. We can't talk about this when you have a life with Andre already set out in front of you."

I get up and grab her arm.

"You said love Jade, as in present tense."

She turns around to look at me and I am too busy looking into her eyes to let go.

Before she has time to get away I lean up into her and we share a deep, but short kiss.

We pull back at the same time and I can hear the sound of the front door creaking downstairs.

Jade opens the window and begins to slip out. I look at her with sorry eyes and hope this doesn't mean she won't be coming back.

We don't speak another word but I know that we now have a second secret between us. This one Andre can for sure never find out about though.

Guilt overwhelms me as I lay back in the bed and try to pretend to be sleeping as Andre enters the room quietly.

"Tori, are you awake," he asks softly as not to wake me if I am asleep.

"No," I say even though answering obviously contradicts my own response.

"Sorry my hours got changed at work. I know you don't like being alone during storms."

He slips into bed beside me and I am afraid that if he kisses me he'll be able to taste what is still lingering there from when I had kissed Jade.

Luckily he is really tired and resorts to a quick kiss on the cheek before turning the other way and falling into a deep sleep.

I don't know what time I fell asleep, but for a fact I was lying awake deep in thought for a while before I finally dozed off.

AN: For the record, I actually wrote this story 5-6 years ago for another fandom. If anyone recognizes it, I'll be shocked. I decided to edit it a little bit and make it work for Jori. This is my way of showing I don't want to give up on writing...just that I'm too busy for it at this point in my life.