Empty Road
by Ravenrules23
Summary: Things had changed so much. She left, he left…I had nothing. Maybe that's why I'm such a loser today…a loser that's looking for all the answers to questions that may never be answered. JT looking back on the pregnancy, one shot , spoilers I guess!
….….
Maybe I deserved this.
I guess, technically, this was meant to happen. But in a way, I blame myself for all that's happened. The pregnancy, the break-up, my failure at keeping any real friends.
It is definitely, not how I thought things would end up.
I mean, c'mon…I used to be a happy kid. Popular, funny, not really smart, and somewhat vulnerable. I had it all going for me. My god, there was even someone who liked me so much she'd do anything to get a date with me!
Of course I ruined that.
Her name was Liberty, Liberty Van Zant to be exact. She wasn't the most attractive girl, sure…but she had everything else. She was sweet, caring, laughed at all my jokes (no matter how corny), and she really loved me. Once we finally got together, it was all sweet and romantic.
Until we took it too far, that one hot summer day…
We could of hung out at the pool, gone to the beach, or just made out while snuggling at a movie…but no. I had to do it. We just had to. It's not like she didn't want it though. I mean, she even suggested I go and buy some condoms. Which wasn't the problem…really…it was more like the stupid mistake I made afterward. Buying the wrong size.
Sure, people make that mistake very often…but it was condoms. Something really serious, something you should probably get the right size for. But, being the goof I am, I bought the king-size condoms for my un king-sized friend down there.
I guess you know what happened from there. Liberty got pregnant. I didn't even know for the first 3 months...I was so shocked I even made her buy a pregnancy test. I just couldn't believe that Liberty, my girlfriend…was pregnant. It didn't seem like something that would happen to a goofy, immature guy like me.
Those 9 months were hell. And to add to it, me and Liberty weren't getting along. I broke up with her, mainly because of how bossy and demanding she was getting. I knew it wasn't the best thing to do then, especially since she was pregnant…but what else was I supposed to do? I couldn't take her treating me like a little newborn puppy anymore!
After the breakup, things got more intense. I got a job at the local pharmacy to help pay, as I called it, "un-born child support" and to prove I wasn't useless. We started talking more; we got a little more comfortable around each other…
But, once again, another obstacle hit me.
Jay, the resident bad doer at Degrassi, stopped at the pharmacy one day. Why, I have no idea. He kept coming in after that, telling me how selling drugs paid really good and how I seemed to be surrounded by some of the best ones. I knew it was a stupid idea, but the thought of having a lot of money comforted me. Liberty would like me more…I would be able to have some gas money…things would be good. So I took a risk and accepted Jay's offer.
I met him the next day with a bunch of drugs (the kind you can find at a pharmacy that are normally for pain or something medical, but if you overdose they give the effects of a real drug). I gave them to this guy, who paid me at least 600 for it.
It encouraged me even more to keep stealing the drugs from the pharmacy.
I kept on giving him the drugs, until one day I realized how stupid I was being. That slap from Liberty probably helped. When I went back to the ravine, the guy (angry) started beating me up. Jay got him to stop (I still wonder why he did that to this day…), and I felt really bad. Inside and out…I felt like I didn't matter anymore.
I found some of the drugs I had stolen, grabbed a ton in my hand, and swallowed them.
Yes, another stupid choice…but really, an attempted suicide. That was my lowest low. I knew Liberty didn't love me, my grandmother was disappointed in me, my friends were disgusted in me…were where the reasons to live?
I did survive, obviously. I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't. I did end up in the hospital, however. Liberty and my grandmother came in a instant, along with Liberty's parents. They heard all the details.
Liberty came walking in moments later, sadness growing in her eyes. I knew this was going to be a very emotional moment, for both of us. We talked for a bit, until I started crying (yes, one of the only times I've ever cried!). Liberty suggested that giving up the baby for adoption was the best for us, seeing what I had just done.
Those last few months of pregnancy were the toughest. I was battling a depression growing inside of me, Liberty wouldn't even talk to me…I wasn't even there when the baby was born! She did let me see her give the baby away though. To 2 very deserving, adult parents…
I'm just glad all that drama is over with.
But now, I've got this kind of drama to deal with. The drama of ordinary, Liberty-less life.
I really miss her sometimes. I mean, she was my girlfriend. My "high school sweetheart", as some would say. Being without her...it's painful sometimes.
But I guess I'll have to deal with it eventually.
For now, I'll try being happy on my own.
I hope you all enjoyed this little one-shot! I just felt like writing a JT fic…for some reason. Hopefully my efforts will pull through with some nice reviews! Don't be afraid to click that button!
-Ravenrules!
