A Tiny Surprise

By:

Me

Thank you for all the reviewers. You are much appreciated for all you said.

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AU story for Unattainable Dream's Prompt Exchange Challenge.

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Hope you enjoy. Review if you want. Criticize if you must, but do so out of the need to correct, not hurt.

I own nothing

Delicate and small. Two words I never thought I would use to describe a Saiyan. This was my rival. This was Kakarot. Two days ago, Chichi had unwittingly gathered the dragon balls to make a wish. Kakarot's woman had wanted another baby, but somehow my rival had interfered with his wife's wish and the wish had been convoluted by Chichi's surprise at being interrupted. The aftermath resulted in Kakarot being turned back into his infant self.

I had arrived on the scene to see Kakarot's woman screaming at a tiny, wailing cub. I froze as I looked baffled at the scene. What was going on? The cub was naked, male, and obviously Saiyan, judging by the tail.

"What the Hell are you doing, Woman?" I bellowed in fury as I reached down and gently picked up the child, "Where did you get a Saiyan cub? Where are the parents? Hello. I'm talking to you here. Well?"

The infant instantly curled against me and my instincts flared to protect one of my people. How dare this Earth scum upset a Saiyan cubling? I patted the infants back and bounced him gently. The cub's wails tapered off as he relaxed against me.

"Give me back my husband!" Chichi shrieked as she reached for the baby.

"Husband?" I questioned in disbelief before holding the child up to examine him more closely, "Are you kidding me? Kakarot?"

The cub sniffled at the loss of warmth and reached tiny hands out to me. There were the eyes and there was the familiar mop of hair. This was indeed Kakarot also known as Goku Son. I stared in shock as my rivals eyes filled with tears at not being held close.

"Give him to me!" Chichi snapped as she snatched the baby from my grasp, "You do not have permission to touch Goku! I can take care of him on my own! I am a mother of two children and I know how to handle babies!"

Kakarot must not have liked his treatment because he released a scream that left my ears ringing as he kicked and began to bawl in distress. I covered my ears as I cringed in pain. Saiyan ears were very sensitive to high pitched noises.

"Hush. There, there, Baby," the Earth woman tried to soothe before gasping in pain when Kakarot's hands pulled chunks of her hair as his feet pushed his body away from her hold, "Ouch! Goku, stop. You're hurting me."

I watched in amusement as my infant-turned-rival fought tooth and nail to get out of his wife's hold. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and took the squalling cub back into my arms. Kakarot calmed instantly and wrapped his tail around my wrist as he cuddled against my chest. I was surprised to hear the cub begin to purr a tiny purr of happiness. I didn't know if I found this to be disgusting or endearing.

"C'mon, have a heart, Asshole," I growled at myself internally, "Kakarot is just a cub. He is too little to understand what is going on right now. Get over yourself. You have a responsibility to protect your people. All of your people."

"Goku rejected me," Chichi whimpered as she rubbed at a bruise that her husband had made on her chest in his struggles, "He wants you over his own wife?"

"Any cub would reject a person who was screaming at him like you did, Harpy," I chastised in a low voice as I reached down and grabbed up what must have been the inner shirt of Kakarot's gi to swaddle the contented baby, "You scared him."

"I…I didn't mean to," Chichi whined out before beginning her tale of what had happened to make Kakarot into an infant.

I listened in shock at what had happened. Kakarot had arrived right when Chichi had finished saying "I wish for a baby…" and then she had shouted her husband's name in surprise when he suddenly appeared in front of her. I couldn't help it.

"Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" I cackled making the cub squeak in surprise, "I don't believe it! You wished for a baby Goku?! This is hilarious!"

"Shut up!" Chichi gritted out as I again bounced the cub in my arms to quiet his sniffles, "I wanted a baby girl. I didn't want a baby husband."

"Hn," I snorted out as I laid Kakarot on the ground on the rest of his piled up clothes and ripped apart his outer shirt to construct a crude diaper, "Stop kicking, Brat. You're not going to piss or shit on me. Stay still."

My cub-rival squirmed as I manipulated him into his new diaper. I snorted when Kakarot tried to gum-to-death one of my arms as I worked his tail through the back of the diaper. Chichi watched me in what looked like amusement.

"You're good at that," the woman remarked as I wrapped Kakarot back up and stood.

"I have two brats of my own, you know," I drily stated, "Do you honestly think that I have never had to change a diaper?"

"Didn't seem the type," Chichi offered as she crossed her arms.

"I can respect that," I said as I nodded, "Come on."

"What? Where?" Chichi questioned in confusion.

"We need to go to Capsule Corp," I instructed, "Bulma can look at Kakarot and make sure he is okay. He'll need to be fed soon and then we can figure out how to return the Buffoon back to his normal age. Can you call his little cloudy-thing?"

"Nimbus?" Chichi asked, "Sure."

I took off without saying anything else as the Earth woman squawked indignantly. I flew slow for the cub's sake and soon spied a scowling Chichi riding Kakarot's golden cloud beside me. Kakarot gurgled happily as he wriggled his hands in the air. I hid a smile. Damn, I was so not thinking that the cub was cute. There isn't even a Saiyan word for cute. This damn planet was tainting my mind.

"What in the world?" Bulma asked as she met Chichi and I outside of Capsule Corp, "My computers picked up Shenlong's energy signal and then you show up with a baby. What is going on here?"

"Your friend got her mate in a bit of trouble," I chortled out as Chichi blushed scarlet.

"What? How?" Bulma demanded in confusion before looking more closely at the cub in my arms, "Why does the baby look like…."

"Kakarot?" I interrupted as I pointed at my rival's wife, "Because she wished her husband into an infant."

"I did not!" Chichi shrieked before beginning to vent her frustrations out on Bulma as she told my mate what happened.

I left the two outside as I walked to where the kitchen was in Capsule Corp. Bunny, my mate's mother, was more than happy to provide some warm milk for Kakarot and even scrounged up a bottle leftover from Bra's babyhood.

"There you go," I said as I placed the nipple into the cub's eager mouth, "Eat up, Kakarot. Good boy. I can't believe that I'm talking to you like this. I must be going insane."

I smirked as Kakarot nursed the bottle empty in a matter of minutes. Bunny refilled the milk and soon the cub was suckling noisily on his second helping.

"Pig," I joked as my cub-rival looked up at me innocently, "So little and still so greedy."

"Well, at least his appetite is the same," Bulma chortled as she walked into the kitchen and watched the cub eat, "Chichi's in the living room with Trunks and Goten. The boys know what's going on and are starting to call the team."

"Why?" I demanded with a frown, "Kakarot could hardly handle being around Chichi in this form. I'm not sure if he can handle too many people at the moment."

"Goodness," Bulma giggled as Kakarot finished his second bottle and cooed, "Does the Prince of the Saiyans actually care what happens to his biggest rival?"

"The Prince of the Saiyans has a responsibility to all of his subjects," I snapped as I placed a dishtowel on my shoulder so as to burp the cub, "Kakarot is one of my subjects and he cannot defend himself. It is my responsibility to protect him until he is returned to his rightful form."

"So you can kick his ass later?" Bulma asked.

"Now you are thinking like a Saiyan," I grinned out as I placed Kakarot up to my shoulder and began to pat his back, "I knew you had it in you."

Bulma shook her head at me before outright guffawing when the cub belched good and loud.

"You are a pig," Bulma cooed at the gurgling baby.

My wife reached her hands out and I deposited my rival into her arms. Kakarot blinked up at her for 2.5 seconds and screamed his head off in distress.

"Gah!" Bulma gasped before shoving the cub at me, "Take him. Take him."

I quickly scooped Kakarot back into my arms and the cubling quieted almost immediately.

"What happened?" Chichi demanded as she rounded the corner, "What's wrong with Goku?"

"Nothing," Bulma giggled out as Kakarot curled up against my chest and fell asleep, "I think your husband has decided that Vegeta is his parent."

"What?" Chichi and I squawked at the same time.

"Chichi," Bulma began, "You said yourself that you started yelling at Goku even before you realized he was an infant. Vegeta came in and picked up baby Goku when he was upset and scared. He must have imprinted on my husband and feels safe. Vegeta has been taking care of him like a father would."

"He is not my [his] son," Chichi and I again snapped before turning and scowling at one another.

Kakarot whimpered in his sleep and we both quieted until the cub settled back down. Dammit! Bulma was right. I had been acting like the cub's father.

"Not father," my mind denied, "Like a Prince taking care of a subject."

I stood up and walked out of the kitchen and went into the living room where Trunks and Goten were sitting. The teens looked on in shock as set up a makeshift bed made out of pillows on the floor and laid Kakarot down to sleep.

"Dad?" Goten whispered as the cubling curled up under the blanket I covered him with.

"That's your Father alright," I grumped as I sat down wearily on the couch as Chichi and Bulma walked into the room.

"Mom?" Goten whimpered as he watched his sleeping cub-father, "What are we going to do? How are we going to get Dad back to his real age?"

Chichi looked beyond distressed as my wife patted her friend soothingly on the back.

"We'll figure it out," Bulma soothed, "Have you two called everyone?"

"Yeah, Mom," Trunks agreed, "They will start arriving soon."

"You two go get some baby supplies," I ordered, "Kakarot's going to need some diapers and some clothes. Judging by his size, I'd say we are looking at a newborn Saiyan cub."

"I'll go get one of the robots to get Bra's old cradle," Bulma offered, "Goku, can't sleep on the floor until we get him back to his proper age."

The two teens left immediately with one of my mate's credit cards and Bulma did indeed find the cradle rather quickly. I ever so carefully laid Kakarot into his new bed. The cub squirmed for a second before drifting back into a deep sleep. By the time the boy's returned, nearly all of Kakarot's friends and family had arrived.

"Keep your voices down," I warned as I used a blanket to create a tent over the cradle to douse out any noise, "The cub has a set of lungs and Kakarot knows how to use them."

"How did this happen?" Gohan whispered so as not to wake the baby.

Chichi blushed hotly again as she described the chain of events that led to the state of her husband. People squabbled back and forth as they tried to come up with a solution to getting Kakarot back to normal.

"We won't be able to use the dragon balls for another year," Krillin groaned, "What if an enemy attacks and we don't have Goku there to help us?"

"None of us are weakling besides you," I softly snarled in irritation before growling when 18 stood up in anger, "Bring it, Android."

"Shut it, Prince," the blond growled.

"Make me."

"Gladly."

"Let's see what you got."

"Shut up!" Piccolo yelled before sinking into his seat when Kakarot began to wail at being rudely awakened from his nap.

Gohan moved the blanket aside and scooped up his cub-father. He tried to soothe the infant, but Kakarot continued to sob pitifully.

"Let me try," Videl offered as she took her father-in-law and bounced the wailing baby.

Kakarot refused to calm down and arched his back as he screamed louder.

"Dammit!" I snapped in irritation as I grabbed the cub and smelled a bit of Kakarot's issue, "Trunks bring me those baby supplies."

I ignored everyone as I changed Kakarot's soiled diaper and gave him a fresh one. I had to punch a hole through the diaper for the cub's tail and then I dressed him in a pair of pajamas.

"Did you have to buy him orange clothes?" I drily asked as I cradled the sniffling cubling in my arms.

"Dad likes orange," Goten insisted, "Can I hold him?"

I shrugged and handed my cub-rival to his youngest son. Kakarot looked up at him before reaching both of his arms back to me with trembling lips.

"Fuck," I sighed out as I cradled the cub back in my arms as everyone attempted to hide their smiles from me, "Not one Kami-damned word from any of you."

"What are we going to do?" Yamcha asked, "Goku obviously is too little to remember any of us and he thinks that Vegeta is his father. We can't let Goku be raised by Vegeta."

"Why not?" I gritted out at the intentional dig.

"Goku is a good person and we don't want him tainted by you," Yamcha explained before backing off when the cub began to sniffle, "I'm not angry at you, Goku. Don't cry."

I rolled my eyes as I rocked the cub. Kakarot calmed and drifted back to sleep. I couldn't place him back in his cradle since my cub-rival had my wrist in a death-grip with his tail.

"Kami, have mercy on me," I sighed out in irritation, "Does anybody have a suggestion to handle this? I am not Kakarot's father and nor do I want to be."

"The Namek dragon balls," Piccolo spoke out calmly, "Kakarot needs to be taken to Namek so as to use those dragon balls to wish him back to his proper age."

"Good idea," Bulma agreed excitedly, "There is just one problem. I tore apart the larger space crafts that Capsule Corp makes due to a problem in the engines."

"What?" Chichi squeaked in distress, "Don't you have another space ship of some kind?"

"Yes," Bulma offered before turning to me, "Vegeta, I have that single-sized ship that you helped me design. It will be a burden on you, but I think that will be the only way to reach Namek. The larger ships are going to take months to fix."

I groaned in irritation as everyone else looked at me in confusion.

"My mate is trying to say that I'm going to have to travel to Namek alone with the cub," I explained, "The ship is only big enough for one person to pilot. Kakarot can fit since he is so tiny."

"So how will both of you return?" Master Roshi asked.

"Hermit, Kakarot will IT like he always does," I snorted out, "Maybe this time he will be a little more careful on where he chooses to appear."

Many of Kakarot's friends looked mutinous. I could practically see their gears grinding in their head.

"What?" I demanded.

"Look," Krillin began nervously, "I'm not trying to make you angry, but you don't have the best track record when it comes to handling Goku."

"Hey!" Trunks snapped in my defense, "Goku obviously trusts my Dad. Goku tells me all the time that he is best friends with Dad like I am with Goten."

I shook my head in exasperation as I looked down at my tiny rival.

"Best friends, indeed," I thought to myself sarcastically.

"But we are talking about an infant Goku being alone with Vegeta for three months," Krillin insisted.

"One month," I corrected as the group looked at me, "I've improved on Bulma's design. I can leave and get to Namek in a month. Look. I want Kakarot returned to his actual age as much as you do. How can I prove that I am more elite than a third class Saiyan, if my third class rival is a newborn cub?"

Everyone looked at one another once again. We all knew that this was the only solution to our dilemma.

"I'll get Dende to contact the Namekian elders," Piccolo finally stated as he stood, "Vegeta, you are going to have to gather the dragon balls and the elders will translate your wish for you."

"Hn," I grunted as I was finally able to ease Kakarot back into his cradle.

Three days later I was packed and blasting off into space with capsules of supplies and a pooping, stinking, squealing, bundle of cub.

"You are impossible," I sniped as I again reached to free some of my hair from Kakarot's grip, "Why did I allow Bulma to talk me into wearing this?"

My mate had constructed a type of papoose for my cub-rival to ride in so that my arms were free. I adjusted the straps so that Kakarot wasn't quite high enough to grab some of my lower locks of hair.

"Goo," my cub-rival gurgled.

I snorted as I looked over my shoulder and Kakarot beamed back at me. Still the same happy-go-lucky person he always was. He laughed happily when I pretended to bite at his reaching fingers.

"I guess Shenlong did not heal your brain injury when he put you in this form," I remarked as I checked the engines to make sure everything was operating properly.

"Ba!" Kakarot answered as he kicked his legs against my back and I felt his tummy rumble in hunger.

"Yeah, yeah," I agreed as I stood, "Food. I get it."

My life turned into a constant rotation of feed the cub, change the cub, clean the cub, fly the ship, and try to get a few naps on my journey to Namek. I was never so glad when the month was finally over.

"Idiot," I whispered down to the quiet cub I had cradled in my arms as I entered the Namekian's solar system at what would have been a late hour on Earth.

Kakarot blinked up at me sleepily before yawning as he smacked his lips contentedly. My rival had a fresh diaper, a newly full belly, and his favorite blankie gripped in his fists.

"You'd better be glad that you are cute," I whispered down to the cubling, "The Prince of Saiyans does not go off to Namek for anything. You owe me one Hell of a good spar when we get home."

I placed Kakarot against my shoulder as I got his bed constructed with one hand. I gasped when the cub jerked on a lock of my hair.

"Ow!" I snapped, "Let go of my hair, Brat. Ow, ow, ow. C'mon, have a heart here. The hair is attached to my scalp."

Kakarot gurgled as I unhooked his claws to lay him in his temporary cradle. The cub rubbed sleepily at his eyes before drifting to sleep.

"Brat," I sighed out as I entered planet Namek's atmosphere, "I'll be glad when you are back to normal."

I looked down on the cub and brushed a lock of hair out Kakarot's face. This had been a trying month, but a memory that would remain with me for a lifetime.

"Have a heart, huh?" I sniffed to myself in exasperation, "Father is probably rolling over in his grave. I hope Kakarot appreciates this. Most annoying third-class subject of my entire race of people. Grr!"

The end.