AN: Holy hell it's been a while! This is the continuation, the sequel, to Jiraiya's Scheme! Before I say anything else I'd like to showcase my very first flame: "Fucking giant pile of shit. Don't make a sequel" - valued costumer. Against these wise words, I've made a sequel (you're reading it, baka) and it probably sucks just as much! But I couldn't leave you hangin' with the crap ending of my first story ;). First thing I'll say, I'm not sure how long this will be or how long the chapters'll be but hopefully they won't be as pitifully short as my first story! Unless you guys (who am I kidding, no one reads this crap :o) like shorter, easier to read chapters? This is my second fanfic and if you wanna see the first story (Jiraiya's Scheme) it's on my profile. In case you forgot, this is kind of a NaruHarem, but there is only one actual pairing - neither of these are yaoi. I think that's all for now so,
Ja ne!
Disclaimer: Turns out Kishimoto doesn't wanna share the rights to Naruto...
Dialogue:
"Talking"
'Thinking'
This is reversed in Furasshu Bakku
On with the story,
Chapter One: If It Ain't Broke...
Minutes before the flash...
Jiraiya was sweating bullets as Tsunade stalked towards him, cracking her knuckles.
"Jiraiya..." She let his name hang in the air threateningly. She had seen perfectly clear that 'locking' the scroll didn't work. Tsunade was thinking he intentionally left the seal activated for his own perverse pleasure. And he was gonna pay.
Jiraiya tried locking and unlocking the scroll several times but, if the commotion outside was any indication, it hadn't done a thing to stop the girls of Konoha. As Tsunade stalked closer he grew more desperate. Attempting to save himself from the impending beating, he made several random hand seals, pumped chakra in and out of the scroll, and did pretty much anything he could think of that might be able to stop the seal's effects.
Anime tears began streaming from Jiraiya's eyes as nothing worked, but before Tsunade could dish out her feminine fury, everything was enveloped in a white flash...
Naruto was currently clinging to an irate-looking woman in post glomp. She was trying to peel him off her face, but only succeeded in prying his crotch from her face for a few seconds before his hips would slam into her face in a vicious power-hump. Naruto took no notice of this as he was crying tears of joy. This woman had summoned him to wherever-the-hell before blabbing about some space-time continuum nonsense. All he cared about was that there were no girls in sight and this particular woman had no damnable blush on her face.
"Thank Kami-sama!" Naruto shouted from his perch on the woman's face.
She suddenly smirked. "Ironic you'd say that."
Naruto jumped back and landed on his feet to address the woman. "Huh?" Let it be known that Uzumaki Naruto was a true scholar.
"I am Kami." She said simply. Naruto scrunched his nose as he squinted at the woman.
"Pfffft, and I'm Yami." Naruto replied giving her a disbelieving stare. A hannya mask started to materialize behind the woman. It was pitch black with intricate red lines that slowly dripped. There was a dark maroon mist coming off the mask in waves that started to form odd-looking apparitions that were only slightly humanoid. As they got closer to the blond he instantly realized what they were.
"G-G-Ghh-Ga-Gagaga-Ghosts!" Naruto stammered out in a high pitched voice. After a few minutes or so of wildly fleeing Naruto ran into the woman again.
"St-Stay back!" Naruto yelled while backpedaling, only to turn and see her inches from his face. "Eep!"
"I was only proving my statement," Kami said, "I'm not gonna hurt you." Naruto was not fooled by that sweet smile. This woman was death-on-legs and while he didn't believe she was actually Kami, he'd keep that to himself after having been chased by one of the few things he actually feared.
"Now let me explain the situation. The flash you saw before you were brought here," Naruto nodded in recognition, "was the destruction of your plane of the Multiverse." Naruto blinked owlishly making Kami sigh. "In layman's terms," Naruto just tilted his head furthering Kami's annoyance. "In terms you'll understand..." Kami ground out slowly. She continued when Naruto nodded. "You're in Heaven."
"I'M DEAD?!" Naruto shouted quite loudly.
Cringing at the pain in her ears, Kami sighed. "Not exactly. That perverted idiot of a sage destroyed your world."
"WHAT!" Before Naruto could begin a shout-fest he was swatted upside the head by Kami.
"Will you stop that!" She said, thoroughly annoyed with the blonde.
"So what does this mean?" Naruto asked in a panicked voice.
"Just how it sounds." Kami stated calmly. "Your world is no more." Before Naruto could panic or break down or anything else annoying Kami cut him off. "But, I can fix it." Anticipating the question long before he could ask, Kami continued. "I will turn back time a few minutes to before the scroll was tampered with. From there you can stop him."
"Thank you, Kami-sama!" Naruto shouted while bowing low. He looked up again as she resumed speaking.
"Although you'll still have this harem problem... permanently" Kami smirked at Naruto's pale face. "But I could fix that too... if you do something for me..."
Naruto nodded his head fervently. "Anything!"
Kami smirked again. "After you have successfully made it through seventy-two hours of this 'harem' ordeal without getting caught in the... marriage justu... I'll free you of your plight."
"But... why didn't locking the scroll work?" Naruto questioned nervously, attempting to get out of fulfilling this 'favor'.
"Simple. The seal that baka made didn't do anything in the first place."
"Eeeeehh?"
"I caused all the women of Konoha to have an attraction to you. It is quite amusing, the situations you end up in." Kami giggled remembering many of the embarrassing and hilarious predicaments the blonde had found himself in. Naruto blushed hearing her angelic giggle before shaking his head.
"Seventy-two hours and you'll un-attract those girls?" Naruto asked hopefully. Thinking about it, it couldn't be too hard, right? Find some place to hide out that has food... sounded like a cake-walk now that his mind was clear.
"Hai." Kami nodded. "Anything else you'd like to know, Naruto-kun?" Naruto's cheeks dusted red and Kami giggled at his innocence.
"Ah, n-no." Naruto suddenly pumped his fist into the air.
"I'm ready, Kami-sama! Send me back!"
Before he was enveloped in a blinding light, Naruto saw Kami wink at him and heard her speak.
"Please, call me Kami-chan."
AN: Whoooo, chapter one done! Not much to say about the chapter, but the next chapter will come after I think it up... eheh. I make up my stories as I go... literally. No planning whatsoever. Just like my life :o. Anyways, review, flame, favorite, follow, whatever, but really lemme know whatcha think. For now,
Ja!
