i swear to the stars (i'll burn this whole city down)

.

"I won't watch this." Shisui's voice is raw with unshed tears. "I can't just stand by helpless."

Itachi watches and waits for the storm to pass. Although it never seems to, nowadays, not entirely. It merely quiets for a time before rearing its ugly head again.

Not that he can blame Shisui for being distraught. The inevitable has finally happened: The clan will rebel against Konoha.

They all knew it would be coming, but it was still something of a shock to hear the plan laid out in concrete terms; that which had been, up until now, completely hypothetical. The repercussions of what has been decided will echo through the world, write itself in blood across the pages of history books. Hundreds, thousands will die, combatants and innocents alike. Governments and nations will collapse and new ones will spring forward in their place. It has happened before, three times in memory, and now it will happen again. The world they know will end.

Unless someone puts a stop to it.

But that is not for Shisui to know. Itachi forces himself to focus on not stiffening, not clenching his hands into fists. It was foolish to hope for a different outcome, he tells himself. It was foolish to hope that there would be no need for his mission. It was foolish to hope at all.

"What will you do?" he asks quietly, when further words from Shisui are not forthcoming.

His cousin looks at him with agony in his eyes. Sometimes Itachi marvels that Shisui has managed to rise as high in the shinobi ranks as he has, what with his total lack of guile-but no; in the field his friend is a master dissembler, the best at saying one thing with his mouth and something completely different with his eyes. It is only here that he lets layer after layer of masks drop. Here with someone he believes he can trust.

"I don't know," Shisui murmurs. He takes a deep breath. "But I know I can't stay here."

The words seem to ring oddly in his ears. Itachi blinks.

"What?"

Shisui stands.

"I'm leaving," he says, sounding surprised at the words even as he says them.

Itachi shakes his head. "No, you are not."

"Why the hell not?" Shisui sounds bizarrely like he wants to laugh. "As a member of the Police Force I'm sworn to uphold the law, which the village is breaking by keeping us penned up here. As a Konoha shinobi I'm sworn to protect its citizens, which gets blown to hell if this family goes on a fucking killing spree."

"And as an Uchiha?" Itachi demands, but Shisui shakes his head.

"You know that doesn't hold water for me. Just because my dad had the name, it doesn't make me one of the family. No one ever treated me like it, that's for sure."

"They gave you a home when you had no other," Itachi points out.

"They protected an asset!" Shisui snaps, finally losing his patience. "They knew there was every chance I'd inherit the bloodline trait, so they kept me around just in case. Couldn't risk something like that being used for people outside of the clan, after all. You know I'm right, Itachi, don't even try to pretend I'm not."

Itachi says nothing. The anger leeches from Shisui with each silent second that passes.

Finally he runs a hand back through his curls and lets out a sigh. "I can't support either side," he admits. "Not really, not enough. And I can't…"

His voice wavers. "I'd've died for these people. I've killed for them, but I can't side with them on this."

Itachi doesn't know whom he means, but he doesn't ask. Instead he picks a different question, one more desperate than he'll ever admit. "And is there truly nothing for you here?"

Shisui gives him the look then, that look that is equal parts fondness and exasperation. It's always done discomforting things to Itachi's insides and now is no exception.

"You know there is," Shisui says softly. "Why else do you think I'm telling you all this?"

"What are you talking about?" Itachi's throat has gone dry as sandpaper. Shisui bites his lip.

"Come with me," he says.

The words hang heavy in the air between them, a gauntlet thrown. Itachi stares at Shisui for what feels like a long time.

"You aren't serious," he says at last.

"You know I am," Shisui insists. Then, "Shit, Itachi, you have to know-"

"Where will you go?" Itachi interrupts, because he can't listen to—he can't—

He can't. As Shisui has lines he cannot cross, so Itachi has his.

Shisui shrugs. "Don't know. Haven't thought that far ahead yet, but honestly, I could give a shit at this point. Konoha, Suna, Kiri, it's all the same."

Itachi raises his eyebrows skeptically. Shisui winces.

"Well, fine, maybe not Kiri because they're a bunch of crazy fucks over there. But anywhere else-I mean, I've always wanted to travel, right?" He does laugh then, but it's wet and sad and doesn't sound much like a laugh at all. "Hell, I could even become a ninja for hire. Wander the world and get paid when I could for what I could. I have a pretty awesome skill set, you gotta agree."

"No." Itachi hears the steel in his tone, knows he's getting too emotional about this (it's hypothetical, purely hypothetical—but then, wasn't the coup until an hour ago?), but he can't bring himself to temper it. "That is beneath you."

It's Shisui's turn to raise his eyebrows. "I'm the bastard son of a traitorous clan," he says flatly. "I don't think anything'd be beneath me once that got out. Do you?"

Itachi doesn't hesitate. "Yes," he says hotly, and Shisui's face softens.

"Guess that's why you should come with me, then," he says after a time. "Remind me how high-and-mighty we actually are. Make sure my ego doesn't suffer after everyone realizes Konoha was right to mistrust the family Uchiha."

Something inside of Itachi feels like it is trembling. What Shisui says is madness, pure and simple—although in fairness, much that comes out of his mouth does. The problem is that Shisui always manages to make his particular brand of madness sound reasonable. Possible, even. He's done it to targets his entire career, used those smiling eyes to convince people to trust him, to take his words into account. He's done it since they were children, dragging Itachi into all manner of creative trouble and then talking them out of the repercussions.

He did it when he convinced Itachi that their relationship was anything other than a spectacularly terrible idea. Itachi's higher mental functions, so deftly trained to foresee every potential outcome and choose the least disastrous, had all been howling that falling for Shisui would wreck him in every imaginable way. But Shisui had been smiling at him, all masks dropped away, and Itachi's higher mental functions had been forgotten.

He begins to wish now that he had listened to them.

Do not ask me to choose, he wants to beg—and he would beg, he would drop to his knees right now and plead until his throat was scratchy with the words. He would be the patient water to Shisui's stone determination and maybe someday he could wear it down. He would do it. He would do anything.

But he doesn't, because it doesn't matter. Shisui asks him to choose and does not realize that there is no choice to be made.

Itachi swallows hard, so hard that it's almost painful. His eyes sting like he's just been doused in saltwater. Shisui is still looking at him with that tentative expression, like he's barely daring to hope.

There is no choice to be made here. No choice at all.

He inhales slowly, blinks away the stinging sensation behind his eyes.

"Yes," he whispers, and Shisui jerks like he's been shocked.

"You'll—?"

"I'll go with you." The words feel like they're tearing themselves from somewhere deep in his chest, but Itachi can't seem to stop them. "Wherever you want, just-"

He's cut off by Shisui's mouth, pressed hard and feverish against his. When he pulls back, resting his forehead on Itachi's, his eyes are wet.

"Shit," he mutters. "Shit, I didn't think—Jesus, Itachi, are you sure?"

Itachi nods. There is nothing more to be said.

.

Shisui waits for him in the prearranged place by the river. Itachi never doubted that he would.

Of course, he gives his cousin more credit than to think he won't know what's wrong as soon as he sees Itachi's face. Strange—his peers have always called him inscrutable, even as a child; teachers have praised his ability to be as stone, both in manner and expression. But Shisui has always been able to read him like a book without even appearing to try.

So when he turns to face Itachi, there is no smile on his face.

"You packed light," he remarks calmly.

Itachi packed nothing at all. Shisui sighs and lets his own bag drop to the grass.

"So. Who are you working for, then? Must be someone pretty high up for you to turn on your family like this." Itachi had braced himself for anger, for acid, for rage and for wrath; he had not prepared for this cool, deadly calm. Shisui tilts his head and answers his own question. "Ah. The elders. I probably should've guessed, huh?"

"Shisui—"

Shisui shakes his head. "Don't bother. I get it. I think it's fucking asinine, but I get it. I'm actually kind of impressed—I didn't think there was anything that could make you turn your back on the name Uchiha."

"They are in the wrong," Itachi says bitterly, unable to stop himself. "They would sentence thousands to death for the sake of wounded pride and long-dead hopes of glory. I cannot let it stand, not even for the sake of our own family."

"So, what? You'll kill them all?" When Itachi says nothing, Shisui's jaw tightens. "Is that Konoha's new policy for malcontents? Genocide? Christ, I take it back—we're no better than Kiri. At least they're fucking upfront when they decide to massacre their own people."

"This is the policy for traitors," Itachi corrects him icily. "A fact that has not changed since the village was created. Our own ancestors agreed to it."

"And the kids like your brother?" Shisui retorts. "People like me, who don't want anything to do with this shitstorm? What about them? Are they fucked just because they have the same last name as the rest?"

Itachi cannot think of Sasuke, not right now. "This needs to end, Shisui. And it needs to end once and for all."

Shisui stares at him. Slowly, a bitter smile twists the corner of his mouth. "You know, I probably deserve this," he remarks. "For being stupid enough to think you would actually come with me."

I would have. If the elders hadn't chosen me I would have followed you anywhere; I would have left all of this behind. Itachi wants to say it, but the words won't leave his mouth. He could force them, he knows, but Shisui deserves better than lies. He deserves better than any of this.

As if reading his thoughts, Shisui's expression changes. There it is again—fondness and exasperation, like this is some everyday disagreement and not their world crashing to pieces around their ears.

"I know. You were never going to take the easy way out; it's just not in your nature." The bitter half-smile turns wry. "I don't think I'd've fallen in love with you if it was."

Itachi closes his eyes. "Shisui, I—"

"Don't." Shisui sighs again. "Let's get this over with, yeah?"

Itachi nods.

.

When it is over, he is kneeling beside a corpse. The ever-present light has gone out of Shisui's eyes and the fragile, trembling thing in Itachi's chest has disappeared. There is nothing there now but emptiness.

There was a choice. He knows that now—or perhaps he always did. He could have chosen to forsake his mission, the clan, the village, everything; he could have removed himself from the equation and let events play themselves out with none of his interference. He could have washed his hands and chosen not to play god. He could have chosen to abandon his name and his loyalties, forged a new life somewhere far from the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

He chose differently.

Blood seeps from his eyes, but Itachi is not concerned. He knows the reward he has gained for being heartless enough to kill the person dearest to him. What does it say about their clan, he wonders, that that is the price one must pay for the secret of their ultimate technique?

It doesn't matter. If the prized bloodline trait will help him end this quickly, he will take it as a gift.

He closes Shisui's eyes before he puts the body in the water. Then he stands and turns from the riverbank.

He will tear the coup apart with his bare hands, with his teeth if necessary. This will not have been for nothing.

That, at least, is a promise Itachi can keep.

.

end