Disclaimer: Not my characters.

Prompt: I would literally shat my pants laughing if I read a fic where Robin tells Regina that they're gonna frickle frackle.


The blazing fire was warm against their cold bodies, but not warm enough. They'd been lost for six days now without anything other than coats and a couple of blankets to keep them warm. Robin had volunteered to go out into the forest to find the ice queen's lair and Regina jumped right on that train.


"It's been two months and there's been no trace of her. We need to stop her before she freezes anyone else, not to mention the snow is almost three and a half feet deep." Robin hops out of his seat, "Our children aren't safe. I am going out and searching for the ice queen." He made a move toward the door as Snow jumped in front of him, "Robin, you can't go out there by yourself, it's too dangerous!" Regina stood and made her way over to the thief. "I'll go with him. I have magic and he is a perfect shot, we can protect each other." Robin wraps an arm around her shoulders, "There you have it, and we shall be back by first light."


He shifted Regina in his arms to bring her closer, "Can you get us back home with your magic?" The queen sighed, "If I could, don't you think I would have by now?" Robin chuckled, "Oh, I don't know, maybe you just enjoy my company in this secluded spot." She rolled her eyes, "Yes, because freezing to death in the company of a thief has always been a dream of mine." Robin's tone grew serious, "I hate to be presumptuous, but I'm afraid we may have to frickle-frackle in order to stay alive." Regina moved around so she could see his face. Did he really just say that we need to have sex if we want to live? "Excuse me?" The outlaw smirked, "I believe you heard correctly, Love." She sat up and wrapped her blanket around her tightly, "Did you just refer to sex as 'frickle-frackle'?" Robin blushed, "I might have. In any case, if we don't start some friction soon, I'm afraid our kids will lose a parent and Roland only has me left. The only other person that is like a parent to him is you, so we can't both die." Regina considers his words. She has had immense feelings for him ever since they first met. This is what she wanted, isn't it? Something about him just drew her to him. She knows he has feelings for her just as much. She can see it in his eyes every time he looks at her.

The queen moves closer to him, looking into his eyes, "Are you positive you want this?" At Robin's soft nod, Regina shifts to straddle his lap, all the while not breaking eye contact. "Are you?" She nods just a softly and leans in for a kiss that starts out innocent enough. She draws back to observe his reaction; his eyes half lidded, mouth slightly parted, heavy puffs of steam coming from his mouth with every breath. He grabs the back of her neck and pulls her back to him more passionately this time. Hands search each other's bodies, removing the other's coats, his finding purchase on her breasts. She let out a soft moan and ground her hips down on his bulging groin, eliciting a moan from him.

"Robin..." Regina sighed as he found the hem of her blouse and tossed it aside. "It'll be warmer with our skin touching," he explains as she shivers. She nods and moves to take his shirt in her hands, ripping open the buttons and sliding her hands over his chest to push his ruined shirt off his shoulders. "Hope you didn't need that too badly." Robin laughed as he pulled her to her feet to begin removing her pants, "A simple shirt is nothing in comparison to your skin."

Robin laid her back down onto his blanket, while climbing over her and pulling hers to cover them both. She took a sharp intake of breath as she felt his tip slide through her folds to line up and tease her entrance. "Are you ready?" Regina opened her eyes and smiled up at him, "I've never been more ready for anything in my entire life." They held eye contact as he slid into her. Her eyes flickered closed as she took him fully. When her eyes opened back up, he looked to her in question. The mayor moved her hips in a circular motion to answer his unspoken inquiry.

Sighs, moans, and whimpers could be heard as they made love. Yes, they were making love because they both loved each other. Frickle-frackle is just something you do when you're not feeling every emotion in your body explode. Robin watched as Regina's eyes rolled to the back of her head, flickering shut. He watched as her back arched off the blanket and her stomach pushed into him. He felt her nails making long scrapes down his back while her entire body tensed up. Watching Regina have an orgasm was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he made a promise right then and there that he'd watch her come undone many more times. Her name escaped in a low moan as he followed close behind her, eventually collapsing on top of her.

"Wow," Regina could only think of one word. "That's all you have to say?" Regina's smile grew and Robin continued, "Wow, indeed… I feel that I must confess myself to you." The queen raked her fingers through his hair, "And what would you need to confess? You actually did steal from my castle, didn't you?" He laughed, "Of course not," he leaned on his side with his elbow as support and looked at her, "I must confess that I have had this unexplainable love for you since first we met. I have been a coward not to tell you in fear that you would reject me." Regina supported herself on her two elbows, "You had much to fear," she raised her palm to his cheek at his hurt expression, "I was a coward as well. I wouldn't have accepted any confession of love from you because I love you just as much. I've been too afraid to even mention my feelings because I am afraid that it would be too good to be true. Any time something good happens in my life, something bad takes over and ruins it."

The outlaw pulled her to his chest and wrapped the blanket tighter around the two, "My love, I will never hurt you and I will never leave you. You are the most wonderful thing that has happened to me since Roland." He leaned in and placed a soft kiss to her lips. When he opened his eyes, he realized that they were no longer in the freezing death trap of the forest, but in a bedroom. "You're telling me that you were able to bring us back with your magic the whole time?" Regina pulled him out of her bed and toward the bathroom, "How else was I going to get you to make a move? Now, if you don't mind, I think we could both use a shower."