"Why can't you be more like your brother?" she screamed at me. Blistering pain came as I received a slap across the face.
"Mom…" I whispered. I tried to reach for her but she slapped my hand away.
"What? Don't call me that. I'm embarrassed to have raised such a child as you. You're emotionless! So plain and boring- you can't do anything right! Unlike your brother who graduated top of his class and is going to the best college in the country! Why can't you be as good as your brother?" She pulled my hair and scratched my face drawing blood.
"Mom! That's enough!" my older brother Ouji yelled pulling her off me. I stood there silent in front of my brother. Ouji means prince in Japanese, which suits him. He has outstanding grades, friends, and good looks. On the other hand my grades are average, I've never brought a friend home, and my looks are lacking. I don't hate him… I can't, he's my brother after all.
"Are you all right Izumi?" Ouji asked holding Mom.
"I'm fine," I said wiping the blood off my face. "Don't worry about me."
"But I do," he said.
"Shameful," Mom muttered breaking free of his grip. She stormed out of the living room.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Ouji asked after Mom left.
"I'm sure… thank you," I told him. Even though both Mom and Dad act like that Ouji has always treated me nicely. He is the most important person to me.
Ouji patted my head gently and left. He probably went off to study- interrupting my thought was the loud slam of a door. My dad stomped down the hallway and stormed over me staring with cold eyes.
"What did you do to your mother?" he growled.
"I-I didn't do anything," I said, quietly trembling in fear. He glared at me and I flinched.
"Worthless trash," was all he said before leaving. I sighed and decided to go to bed early.
The next morning was a Saturday so I changed into casual clothes and went to get breakfast. It was only nine in the morning and Ouji and Dad were already dressed up. I raised an eyebrow at Ouji and he smiled brightly.
"I have an interview with a famous science professor, he could get me a big scholarship," Ouji told me grinning. He hugged me and couldn't stop smiling. I smiled too because he was so happy.
"Good luck, I'm sure you'll get it," I said quietly, hugging him back then letting go.
"Bye Izumi! Love you!" Ouji called as he and Dad left for the car.
"Bye! Love you too!" I called back. He seemed so excited, he's sure to get that scholarship.
I could hear the shower running which meant Mom woke up late. Breakfast was an apple since I began to feel sick. I lay down and stared out the window in my room for a while. I had a nice view of the empty park's cherry blossom trees. Around lunchtime I got up and ate some microwaveable ramen. I was in the middle of washing yesterdays dishes when the doorbell rang. Mom stayed silent in her room so I answered it.
I opened the door to two police officers. One was tall with dark eyes and the other short and a bit pudgy.
"Anko Maki?" the tall one asked. My stomach twisted, this felt wrong. Panic swept over my body.
"Mom!" I shouted desperate.
"What?" she snapped coming to the door. "Oh… Hello, how may I help you?" she asked switching into fake pleasant mode.
"Ms. Maki…" the pudgy officer started. "Your husband and son have been killed in a car accident. They were hit by a truck and were killed instantly... I'm so sorry for your loss."
I froze. My eyes widened and I looked at the officers. This had to be a joke, right? Dad… Ouji? Ouji's….. gone? I fell to my knees, numb. Ouji can't be gone… he was going to go to college; he was going to have such a nice future. My vision blurred with tears. Ouji… no. Why him? Why not me? Ouji was so nice and so kind…. Why not me? Why did Ouji have to… die? No, he can't be gone!
"Ouji's really gone?" I asked looking up. The tall officer nodded in response and said something I couldn't hear. My mother was sobbing and holding herself up with the door. I couldn't stay here- tears silently poured down my face and I ran out into the sunny day. Once I reached the park I fell onto the grass and sobbed.
"Ouji!" I cried brokenly. "Don't leave me… please… I'm so lonely… please Ouji… Ouji… Ouji!" I cried for hours when I decided to go back home it was already dark. I stumbled up the porch steps and went inside. Mom was on the couch in the living room- her eyes were red like mine.
"Taro…. He's gone. Your father, your brother… Ouji," she whispered. I nodded silently as more tears fell. Maybe we could finally act like a family now. Maybe mom will soften and we'll accept each other and we'll be happy again. Her empty face became twisted for a moment. "You… it has to be your fault," she hissed at me. Of course all my maybes were a delusion. "It's your fault they're dead. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" she shrieked at me.
She jumped on me and beat me. I didn't react; I just let her until she was satisfied. It hurt but not as much as the internal pain. I will never see Ouji's smiling face again… I cried silently as Mom punched me. When she was done she got off me and walked away silently to her room. But not before saying," Even now… you can't be like your brother."
After a while I got up and went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I was going to have a black eye, bruises, and some scratch marks. Afterwards I went to my room and lay on the bed until I cried myself to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night to whispers from the hallway and scratching on my door.
"It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault."
It went on for a while then suddenly it stopped and I heard the click of a door closing. I tried to sleep but didn't get much. When I woke up again it was four in the morning and the house was dead silent. I got up and went into the hallway. I immediately came face to face with Ouji's bedroom door. Tears pricked my eyes and I blinked the back opening it and going inside.
It was the same as when I last saw it before he died: neat with the exception of a few books and articles of clothing scattering the floor. It even smelled like him. I saw his favorite, lucky bracelet on his desk. He always wore it since we were kids. It had the words "Stay strong" engraved on it along with his name "Ouji Maki." He didn't wear it yesterday because he had to dress up so he left it here… I held back a sob. I picked up his bracelet, held it for a moment, and then put it in my pocket. I will treasure this until I see him again… then I can give it back. But I must stay strong for Ouji.
I left his room and closed the door behind me. Mom somehow stayed in her room where dad used to be. The house seemed too quiet. I walked around trying to find someone but no one was there. I knocked on Mom's door.
"Mom? It's me… Izumi. Are you in there? Mom?" No response. "Mom? Are you alright?" I leaned against the door. "Mo-" The door opened on its own and I stumbled in. "Um, Mo…..m" I gasped and took in the scene. A knocked over chair on the floor… her bed messed up… stuff everywhere, shattered picture frames and torn up jewelry. Mom hanging from the ceiling, a rope around her neck. Her face dead and blue, and her empty eyes staring at me; eyes that had always looked at me with venom, even now. She killed herself…. I fell to the floor. Am I really that awful to be around? Was it really my fault? This is surely my fault too then…
"Mom… why'd you leave me too?" I asked. Silence answered. I got up and called the police before passing out.
When I woke up I was sitting on the couch in the living room with a police officer next to me. He got up after seeing me open my eyes.
"Kenji, she's awake!" he yelled before leaving. A new one walked in and my eyes drifted around the room before focusing on him.
"Hello Izumi Maki, I'm Officer Kenji. I'd like to ask you a few questions if that's ok," he asked. I stared at him blankly then nodded. "What happened? How did you find your mother dead?" He reminded me… that awful scene… her blue face. I felt sick.
"I knocked on her door but she didn't answer- and the door opened and she was there. Hanging from the ceiling. I called the police then I can't remember," I told him. He nodded and thanked me for my time.
So Mom is dead… she committed suicide. I reached into my pocket and felt Ouji's bracelet. I put it on and took a deep breath. Everyone's gone… I'm all alone. I have no family other than the ones that were all taken from me in two days. What should I do? I can't face everyone at school after this- they'll blame me too. How will I get by without Ouji or anyone? I have no one. They all left me.
