I hate everything about you Axel

As I lay wide awake, I can't forget the things that you and I said during our arguments, I can't even forget how bad I felt after I throw things at you. It surprises me that our neighbors hadn't called the cops on us; with all the screaming and threats that can be heard down the hall, it's only take me by surprise that they never mention our fights. I guess it's because they know they are not so different from us, with the fights that Vexen gets with Marluxia, or the sound of Saix desperation towards Xemans' addiction, they just know that everyone that lives in the apartment building are just screwed up people.

From the days that you left me on the darkness I call home, I'll admit I haven't missed you, but I'll be damned if I don't say that your name comes without warning, and that's when the memories return. I hate when it does, I hate the thing that cause. I hate everything about it.

I hate when I listen your name and the first thing that comes to mind are your eyes. For the love of God, they look like emeralds! When you see other guys with your lustful eyes, I just wanted to kill them, I even planned a horrible death for the young boy in apartment 30B, Roxas was his name, but the fact he's with Demyx makes me feel better.

I hate to see you in public, haven't you seen yourself walk? Your hips sways side to side, are you trying to kill me? Better yet, are you trying to make me kill somebody else, and I mean, the boy from apartment 30B.

I hate the fact that you and I aren't even the same! The fact you stay all day sleeping because last night's party or the fact that you just say something idiotic, what are you, five? I also hate the fact that you kept trying to get me memorizing things; I'm not your parrot for the love of…

What I want to say is that I hate everything about you. We are so different, and the fact that we argue doesn't help and still…I fucking love you. Even if you leave for a couple of days, you just end up returning and we act like if it never happened. I hate you so much that I just can't stand you, and the fact I don't have you by my side just kills me because I love you. I know it doesn't make sense, but to tell the truth, since when life made sense. I just know we sometime hate each other's gut, but you and I know that at the end, we can't stand living without each other's presence.

Axel, I hate you so much that I won't ever stop saying it. I hate that you sometimes flirt with other guys in front of me, I hate the fact that you just don't understand my needs, the fact you are so forgetful and the fact that your ego is just so...argh!

At the end, after every time I shout how much I hate you, loathe you or even desire that you just fuck off and die, I also want to whisper the things I love about. When you just wake up early just to kiss me goodbye as I leave for College, or the times when I get sick, you just stay by my side until I get better. I love when you just can't go out a day without a sea-salt ice cream and just whine like a little kid, making laugh at you expressions. I love when I just want to cry, you just try to make laugh or if it that doesn't works, you just whisper soft threats to my ears saying what you will do if you just see the person that hurt me.

If I continued, I know I'll bored you to sleep, but I just wanted you to know, that even if I act like I don't care, that I just can't stand you, I just want to know, deep down, I just love you so.