Disclaimer: We do not own the X-Men. Good thing, too, or we would mess them up pretty good.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, we do not own the X-Men.

Disclaimer: We do not own the X-Men.

Authors' note: Everyone, soon or later, wants to become a superhero. You know, fly around, fight crime, get the chicks. This is just to explain all the characters in an upcoming series of pointless stories.

Disclaimer: We do not own the X-Men. Good thing, too, or we'd mess them up pretty good.

X-Underground

Blades

Real name: Cara Marie Breslin

Birthplace: San Francisco, California

Current Occupation: Student

Known mutant powers: Cara can make blades of pure energy come out of her knuckles. She has rapid healing powers and heightened senses. Her entire skeleton is laced with Adamantium, with the exception of a few vertebrates in her spine. (What can I say, people? Aside from Gambit, Wolverine has the coolest powers!)

History: Cara's parents divorced when she was twelve. Blowdown is her brother and Wind Rider is her cousin.

Blowdown

Real name: Shea Breslin

Birthplace: San Francisco, California

Current Occupation: Student

Known mutant powers: Shea can shoot balls of energy from his hands. When he touches unique types of radioactive elements (which he carries around in a special utility belt) the balls of energy change shape, size, and power.

History: Shea discovered his powers when he accidentally blew off the showerhead in his bathroom. Shea lived in Las Vegas with his mom before he went to Professor X's school.

Mindtrip

Real name: Tegan Harvey

Birthplace: San Francisco, California

Current Occupation: Student

Known mutant powers: Tegan wields powerful telekinetic and telepathic abilities similar to Jean Grey's.

History: Tegan has never dated as a result of her mutant abilities.

Plague

Real name: Terra Wheeler

Birthplace: Chicago, Illinois

Current Occupation: Student

Known mutant powers: Terra is able to infect humans with over 1000 different types of different diseases by touch alone. It has even been said that she can infect a man with hallucinogenic pregnancy. She has yet to control her power.

History: Terra has infected her principal with canker sores, stomach flues, and the occasional Parkinson's Disease.

Quad

Real name: Jed Ryben

Birthplace: Utica, New York

Current Occupation: Student

Known mutant powers: Jed possesses super strength and agility. He has four arms, four legs, sharp teeth, and three clawed fingers on each hand. The bases of his left and right arms are fused together, resembling two regular arms. The same goes for his legs. His scaly skin is a deep forest green, his hair is navy blue, and his eyes are yellow. Jed is the brains behind X-Underground.

History: Jed once met the Incredible Hulk at the "Ain't Easy Being Green" convention hosted by Kermit the Frog. Jed claims that, "The Hulk is a pretty nice guy."

Wind Rider

Real name: Natalia Nuñez

Birthplace: Victoria, Canada

Current Occupation: Student

Known mutant powers: Natalia has the ability to control the winds around her. She can summon winds strong enough to carry herself through the air.

History: Natalia lived in Canada for the first few months of her life before she moved to Kentfield, California. She discovered her powers when she accidentally blew her math book out an unopened window in a fit of rage.

Blind Side

Real name: Pedro Vargas

Birthplace: Santa Fe, New Mexico

Current Occupation: Student

Known mutant powers: Pedro's eyesight faded when his mutant powers surfaced, and he is blind for the rest of his life. He uses his super hearing to "see" objects and people. He can also shoot beams of high concentrated energy from his eyes. If Pedro hits his opponent in the eyes, his opponent can be blinded from anywhere from three minutes to thirty years, depending on the amount of power in the blasts.

History: Um…not much.

Jax

Real name: Tristan Arcelona

Birthplace: Las Vegas, Nevada

Current occupation: Student

Known mutant powers: Tristan has the ability to grow twice his regular size. He can also change his arms from flesh to living steel at will, enabling him to carry up to one ton.

History: Shea and Tristan have been friends since the third grade. Since their mutant powers surfaced, they've both established a dangerous reputation on the #46 bus. Tristan figured out his code name after playing "Mortal Kombat" for 48 hours straight.

And now, prepare your ass for some highly uncalculated adventures, resulting in some hilarious consequences.