Fairytales don't always have a happy ending... do they?

Title: Fairytales don't always have a happy ending... do they?
Author: Clashingway

Summary /// A/N: The first chapter basically is the rewriting of what happened in 6x08, Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing out, in Jess Mariano's point of view. This was an assignment for my Creative Writing Class, which means it was kind of supposed to be a oneshot.
But I decided to write more - so this actually became the beginning of a fan fiction and there WILL be more chapters later in time.
Please review.

Disclaimer: The script for the actual episode of Gilmore Girls (6x08, Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out) has been written by Daniel Palladino and it's original airdate on the WB was November 11, 2005. Gilmore Girls and other related entities, as well as the mentioned locations, are property of the writers of the show - Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino, the Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television.


God, I must have been crazy to come here after all this years; after all that had happened between Rory Gilmore and me. But I came here, though. Came here, to show her something. I drove all the way from Philadelphia to Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Before I went to her house to see if she was there, I stopped at my uncles. I'm glad I didn't go directly to the Gilmore's, because Uncle Luke told me she moved in with her grandparents, Emily and Richard Gilmore, and was now living in Hartford. So I went to Hartford. But since I couldn't see her car anywhere, I decided to wait outside until she came home - after all, I knew what how much her grandparents disliked - no, literally hated - me. When her car finally pulled up the driveway, I took my bag and entered the yard of the Gilmore mansion. Rory must've hear the squeaking of the gate, because she immediately turned around when I opened it.

"Jess," she said and sounded pretty stunned to see me - which was understandable considering the fact that I really hated that place.

"Hey," I greeted her and she greeted me back, still looking a little confused. Then there was a little moment of silence, until she finally spoke up again. I have never been one who used a lot of words, but the silence seemed to be killing her.

"I...," she started, but somehow didn't really finish her sentence, an insecure smile crawling across her face, "Sorry. That wasn't a sentence."

"I got the gist," I answered, walking over to her. It wasn't like one couldn't tell she was surprised, and maybe even a little nervous.

"What are you doing here?" I knew she would sooner or later ask that question.

"I got a job. Professional driveway skulker."

"Pay's good?"

That was something I really liked about Rory. No matter how much sarcasm I used, she didn't get mad - she just said her line and the conversation went on.

"Yeah, but the hours suck."

"Jess -"

Well... okay, sometimes the conversations didn't really just go on.

"I'm in town on a little business. All nice and above board," I explained.

"How'd you know where to find me?"

What the hell did she expect me to say? Something like 'I stalked you' ?

"Luke. I shook it out of him, he wasn't sure if it was okay."

"It's okay. You look good! The years don't seem to have hardened you."

Oh - wow. Nice change of topics, Rory. But anyways, thanks for the compliment, although it was a little weird to hear that. After all, it was her who said it. Her, the one and only, that had sent me away when I asked her if she wanted to be with me. I could still hear the many 'no's she had smashed against my head.

"Yeah, you look good, too. I know this is kind of weird, but there's actually something I wanted to tell you. Show you, actually," I wanted to show her something pretty big. I wasn't sure how she would react, but I needed to show it to her, though. I noticed that she was glancing up the house, as if someone was watching us and she was afraid we might be seen. Did her boyfriend maybe wait for her, up there? But... Emily and Richard probably wouldn't have allowed her boyfriend to move in... would they?

"I can come back another time," I really didn't want Rory to feel uncomfortable.

"No, it's just, uh, we're kind of exposed, here. I mean, her window is like right there."

Kind of exposed? That sounded like we were doing something bad, something illegal, something no one was allowed to see. Was she that uncomfortable around me? Did she need to hide me from other people?

"Who's?"

If it was her grandma's, it sure was reasonable not to keep standing here. The last time I met Emily Gilmore, I was late and had a black eye. And after all I did to Rory, she probably really hated me. If she had seen me, she would've probably even wanted to kill me right away.

"Oh, my grandma's. You want to come in?"

"You sure?" If she was afraid of her grandma seeing us standing in the driveway, why wasn't she afraid of her grandma seeing us in her room then? We were just standing in the driveway, talking. And in her room... we would probably be sitting somewhere. With a closed door.

"Yeah. Come on. But just be careful. She's a very light sleeper."

We went in and the house seemed even bigger than the last time I saw it about three years ago. I wonder if anyone ever got lost in there.

"Here we are," Rory said when we finally reached her room.

"Casa Rory," a matter of fact, although it didn't really seem like it when I looked around. The room didn't really look like the Rory I knew could like it. But the Rory I had used to know wouldn't have gotten into a huge fight with her Mom and best friend either. The more I thought about it, the more I saw, the more I thought I didn't know Rory anymore. The young woman took a pillow from the bed and put it on the floor in front of the door.

"So our voices don't carry."

"Very prudent," but I still thought it was weird. When I looked up from the pillow, I saw an old-fashioned and pretty ugly dress hanging on the door.

"This is not really my taste," Rory explained, gesturing around.

"Yeah, not unless you've aged about ninety years," this was something I just had to say. There were weird pictures and figures everywhere.

"I haven't," well, then there was at least one thing that hadn't changed.

I pointed at the dress that I had noticed a few minutes before. "Is that for Halloween?"

"No, no, this is just for a function I have to go to."

A function? A function? "A function."

"It's just a job. The DAR. Daughters of the American Revolution. It's not a career or anything."

"Oh, I hope not." Huh. Rory had joined that grandma-club called The DAR. Oh-kaaaay.

"No, see. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm just here temporarily. My mom and I -"

"Luke alluded to something," I interrupted her and I knew it was considered as inpolite. And I also knew that Rory didn't like being interrupted. But another thing I knew was that Rory and Lorelai, her Mom, were the best friends in the world and it would've probably been really hard for Rory to tell me the whole story all over again. But I appreciated it, though, because it showed that she wanted me to know at least a little bit of what was going on in her life.

"It's a long story. I was crashing in the pool house and that was just temporary, but the pool house became storage, so then I had to move into the main house. All temporary."

Those are the strings, Pinocchio. To me it didn't sound temporary at all.

"Isn't school in session?", I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Mm-hm." Wow. That sounded really excited. What happened to the Rory Gilmore that started her study-engine from zero to hundred in less than sixty seconds?

"Why aren't you living on campus?" After all, she was enrolled at Yale and could've stayed in the dorms if she wanted to. At least I thought so.

"Because I'm - not going."

"You graduate already, Doogie?"

"No, I'm just taking a little time off."

"Time off."

Huh. Wow. When Rory told me, that she wasn't going, I already felt kind of proud of her. But then she said she was taking a little time off - and again, I started wondering whom I was talking to. The Rory Gilmore I used to date back in our teenage-years? Obviously not.

"So, where are you living, Jess? I want to know about you. Mystery man." And she changed the topic of the conversation again. Apparently, she wasn't satisfied with the whole situation at all.

"I'm in Philly."

"Really?"

"Don't laugh."

"No, I'm not. Philadelphia's gotten cool."

"Yeah, and New York's gotten expensive. Anyway, it's a, it's a pretty cool scene in Philly now. A lot of younger people there. Pretty big art scene."

"I know. I read that in the New York Times. They had a picture of a bunch of young people standing on a roof, kind of eclectic and all. It looked fun. I mean, it was clearly one of those pictures that wasn't candid, it was looking a little stiff, but they looked happy."

There - THAT was a part of the Rory I used to know. She always had that idea of big cities. I can remember the day she visited me in New York and got totally thrilled when someone asked her for directions. Then I noticed something else. There was a smile on her face, a small and insecure one.

"Are you nervous?", I asked with a soft voice. Honestly, I wasn't as cool as I tried to act as well.

"A little," she sighed, but was still smiling, "it's been a long time."

"I'm a little nervous, too," I admitted - something I would've never done a few years ago. It had always been hard for me to show feelings, to talk about what was going on in my mind - which was probably a part of the reason why our relationship hadn't worked out.

"Good, I'm not alone."

"So, I didn't just come here to chat. I wanted to show you something," I finally got back to that again and started digging in my bag.

"Right. You said that."

"And I didn't think you'd believe it if I didn't show it to you in person," I pulled a small, black-covered book out and gave it to her, waiting for her reaction.

"Oh, color me curious," she said, taking it, "...A book...," I could see her eyes scrolling over the cover, "The Subsect. Written by Jess Mariano." She looked up again, giving me a questioning look.

"That's no misprint," I answered with a little smile on my lips.

"You wrote a book?"

Yes, I, Jess Mariano, the guy about who people always had said he couldn't make it, wrote a book.

"A short novel," I didn't want to sound too proud. After all, it wasn't as long as some other books out there.

"You wrote a book?"

"And through a fluke I got it to these guys that have a small press, and they read it, I don't know if they were high or something, but they decided to publish it!"

"You wrote a book."

"There's no money in it. They only printed, like, five hundred of them. Believe me, I'm not quitting my day job," I really tried everything not to make it sound like more than it actually was. But I was a little proud of myself, though. Because I had reached something.

"But - you wrote it. You wrote a book," Rory repeated, got up and started flipping through the pages.

"Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe."

"You sat down and wrote a novel."

By now I wasn't sure anymore if she was being amused by it, or if she was proud of me.

"Author distributed, too. That's what I'm doing here. I'm going around, begging independent bookstores to put it in stock. Got it in a few."

"Cool! Where?"

Okay, there we go. She was proud of me.

"Around."

"I want to see it in a store!" By now, she even sounded thrilled.

"I can give you the addresses."

"You know what I'm going to do when I see it in a store?"

"What?"

"You know that section toward the front, the staff recommendations? I'm going to grab a copy of your book and put it in that section. And then I'm going to write my own little recommendation on a card and attach it so people see it and buy it." It seemed like this was the most exciting thing that had happened in her life lately. Her enthusiasm made me laugh.

"Read it first. That way you can discourage people from buying it."

"No way. I know it's good. Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it."

Yes, she knew it. She had always been the only one that believed in me. Everybody else in Stars Hollow had been against me, everybody but her.

"I know you did. I work at that press now. Five smelly guys in a cramped room on Locust Street putting out about three books a month. But it's fun."

"And what about a sequel? Are you writing a sequel?"

"You should read it before you get too jazzed about it, okay?"

Suddenly, Rory glanced pretty frantically at the door. "Shh!" After a moment, she sighed relieved. "Sorry. I thought I heard footsteps. I think we're okay."

And even if she heard footsteps - so what? Would she have told me to hide in her closet? Or under her bed? This was really kind of funny, but I tried not to make fun of her because I didn't want her to get upset.

"It's kind of late. I should go," I suggested and we both got up.

"It is kind of late."

"So I just basically wanted to show you that. Tell you - tell you that I couldn't have done it without you," I had dedicated the beginning of the book to her, but I wanted to tell her in person, though. Otherwise, she would've maybe never even found the book.

"Thanks," she said and if I'm right, she sounded touched - which was a good thing. And for a moment, I could even see her eyes light up a little. I think she really appreciated my visit.

"I'm going to be around for a couple of days. Can we talk again? Preferably above a whisper."

Spending some time with her to catch up a little sounded like a really great thing to do.

"Yeah. I'd like that. How about tomorrow night?"

"Eight okay?"

"Yep."

"Good," I pointed to the door, "I'll sneak out on my own."

I picked up the pillow and gave it back to her. It was still weird that she had put it down to the door, but well, I guess that was what the new Rory had to do. When I was already halfway out the door, she wanted to give the book back to me, but I told her that it was hers. I had brought it for her to read it, and not for her to only look at the cover.

The fact, that we were going to meet the next day, got me really excited. I couldn't wait and when I finally arrived at the Gilmore Mansion in Hartford the next day, I didn't want to ring the bell because I thought Emily or Richard would answer the door, since it was their house. So I took some small stones from the fountain that was located in the middle of the driveway and started throwing them against Rory's window. Suddenly, the front door opened and for a moment, I thought I got busted by Emily. But fortunately, it was just Rory.

"What are you doing?", she asked, sounding kind of amused by what I was doing.

"I didn't know if it was okay to ring or not."

"She's not here."

"She's not?"

"She's playing bridge tonight."

Good, this way, my chances of surviving the evening increased from fifty to hundred percent - at least for now. I threw the other stones back into the fountain. "I parked on the street so she wouldn't see."

"You're very good at covert ops."

"Years of practice. So where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. I don't know the area that well."

"You live here," it probably sounded more like a question than a sentence, but how could she not know any places? She was the one that lived her. The one that had to have a life outside those many walls of her grandparents house.

"I know, but Hartford's still a mystery. Even when I went to Chilton I got right on the bus and headed home, so I don't even have any old high school hangouts to revisit. And these days I've just been eating here."

"Well, I just prefer not going someplace that has food in the title."

"Meaning?"

"Olive. Chili. Soup. No gardens, no plantations."

"Got it. Something funkier."

"Steer me to the college district, I'll find us something funky," I really didn't like those places the rich kids where hanging out at.

"Sounds good."

I was glad we agreed on that. We were just about to leave the driveway to go to my car, when a silver Porsche pulled up beside us. God, who the hell was that? I especially asked myself that when Rory glanced at me while a blonde guy got out of the car.

"Logan!"

Logan? Logan as in LOGAN? That Logan guy Luke told me about? Logan as in the guy Rory is dating ? Great.

"Am I interrupting something?" Yes you are. Get back into your stupid and way too expensive car and go back to where you just came from. Now.

"No. Hey. When did you get back?" No? Hes not? Excuse me Rory, but we were about to go out for dinner, remember?

"A couple hours ago." Why? Couldn't you have waited? Couldn't you have gotten into an accident? Or at least into a traffic jam?

"Oh, I thought, I thought you were getting back tomorrow." Which would've been a lot better. Because then we would now be sitting in my car, on our way to dinner.

"Thought I'd surprise you, Ace." Nice surprise. And hello-oh? I'm still here! Right next to you guys! I didn't know I had the ability to become invisible. Maybe I should start a career as a superhero.

"Well, I'm glad you did, 'cause you get to meet my old friend, Jess." Thank you Rory, I feel visible again. "This is Logan, my boyfriend. Logan, this is Jess. He's in from out of town." That Logan guy literally stared at me, which made me smirk. I love it to provoke people, especially him, since he apparently thought he was better than me anyways. Maybe I should've offered him to give him my number. "Wow. That sounded so grown-up. We're at the age now where we say things like 'in from out of town' and 'old friend'. 'Cause when you're young, all your friends are new. You have to get old to have old friends." Rory, you're babbling. Just tell him to leave, or tell me to leave. Because I'm not going to leave without being asked for it - after all we had it set up.

Rory smiled and awkwardly shook her head. After a while, Logan stepped forward and stretched out his hand, which I reluctantly shook. I already hated that guy.

"How are you doing?", he asked me. A question, he didn't have to ask.

"Okay," I didn't feel like talking to him. He was only being polite, but I hate being fake by just being polite because others expect me to.

"We were just going to go grab a bite to eat." Why the hell did you say that Rory? I could already sense the question he was going to ask.

"Great, well, how about if we all go together, is that okay?" No, No, No Logan, its NOT. I don't like you, I don't want you to come with us.

"Okay by me," I answered though. I really didn't want him to come, but I couldn't just forbid her boyfriend to join us.

"Good," you could literally see the satisfaction on his face, which made me feel sick to my stomach. Nothing was good.

"All right. Good. We were actually at a loss for where to go, so you actually saved us." Oh ya Rory, call him Superman. Call him Clark Kent. Oh baby, oh baby, you made our day.

"Call me Superman," the fact that Logan said what I was just thinking was scary.
"Why don't you follow us?", he asked me, putting his arm around Rory. Of course, she was going to ride in his nice little Porsche with him. I really didn't like the fact that the two of them were riding his Porsche while I was simply following them. I had hoped Rory and I could spend the evening, talking, catching up... but with the rich kid by our side, we probably couldn't. Did I just think about calling him rich kid?

Wow. That matches the name of the Pub he took us to, the 'Rich Man's Shoe Pub'. Rory and her nice little boyfriend sat down at one side of the table, and I sat down on the other, right across from Rory. The whole thing was pretty tense.

"I live pretty close. I'd have had you over to check it out, but it's a bit of a mess." Huh. Thank god it was a mess - I really didn't crave for seeing his place. And I'm sure he didn't want me to see it either - and even if we had went there, he would've just showed off.

"And you don't serve food, so we would've been starving at your place."

"I've got appetizers. A full bag of chips, just check the expiration date before you dive in." Was someone trying to be funny? I really couldn't stand that guy. He seemed to say things just to hear his own voice.

"I'm good with this place." Actually, I just said that to remind the two of them that I was still sitting there. The music they played in there was really everything else but my type. And I knew that Rory didn't like it either, because we both used to listen to the same stuff.

"A little pointer, don't come on folk night." Alright Logan, got it.

"Yeah, I'm not a big fan of folk music." It was a random said sentence of mine, but I couldn't just ignore him. Well... why actually not? Ignoring him would've probably been the best thing I could've done.

"Thats something we have in common." Eww, Logan just said we had something in common. Maybe Ill forget about that whole Punk and Rock and skip to Folk, though.

"Great," I pointed out, putting as much sarcasm in my voice as possible. Afterwards, I took a sip of my beer and I noticed the way Rory looked at my. She had something apologizing in her face... why was she with him if she couldn't stand him either? If she wanted to apologize for his behavior, she couldn't have liked it.

"Where is a waitress?", Logan asked. When she walked by, he talked to her in the most inappropriate way one could, "Yo, yo. Right here. Uh, another McKellan's neat, and Jess, another brew?"

I told him that I was still working on mine and that I didn't need another one, but he ordered me one, though. Why did he even ask?

"So, we should probably order. It's a big menu, so if you need guidance -," Rory started, but I interrupted her by telling her that I wasn't hungry.

"You're not hungry?", Logan asked surprised.

"Nope."

"Thought the whole point was you two were going to get something to eat."

"And talk," Rory said before I could say anything.

"Well, yes. It's a given that you're going to talk while you eat. You know, the chef de cuisine will gladly make anything you want if nothing there appeals." Was Logan trying to be a help here?

Logan really started to annoy me. He kept talking and talking and talking, asking questions and making comments no one needed.

"So. What do you do, Jess?"

"Oh, this and that." It was really none of his business what I was doing.

"Describe the 'this'. Describe the 'that'." Logan's stubbornness made me roll my eyes. Didn't he notice that he was annoying me?

"He writes." Thank you Rory, but he didn't need to know that. I really considered just getting up and going, but then again I didn't want to disappoint Rory. After all, I was here because of her, and not because of the guy next to her.

"You write? Impressive. What do you write?"

"Nothing important."

"He wrote a book," Rory said. I don't know why she did it - I had already answered his question.

"Oh. You penned the great American novel, Jess?"

"Wasn't quite that ambitious."

"So what are we talking here? Short novel? Kafka length, or longer. Dos Pasos? Tolstoy? Or longer? Robert Musil? Proust? I'm not throwing you with these names, am I?"

He thought he was throwing me with those names? Huh. I probably read how Anna Karenina throws herself in front of a train before his Dad gave him his first twohundredthousand Dollar car - and that must've meant something.

"You seem very obsessed with length," I said, smirking. I'm not quite sure why I smirked, but I did it though. Maybe to confuse him. Or maybe, because that sentence showed that Logan didn't care much about somethings content and only about its looks, its outer appearance.

"I'm just trying to get a picture in my head, that's all."

"It's a short novel!", Rory was taking over the conversation again. She probably noticed how much I would've liked to make Logan shut up.

"Any good?"

"I haven't read it yet."

"Yet?", Logan really seemed to be surprised that Rory was going to read my book. Afterwards, he turned to me again, "Well, at least you're going to have one reader. That's something."

"Yeah," I said pretty unimpressed. I really didn't care about what he said. It went into one of my ears and immediately came out of the other one again.

"You know, I should just write down all my thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of he said, she said's and get it published. You got a copy on you?"

"No."

Wow, Logan really thought that writing was that easy. I was sure that no one would've cared about his thoughts - his book would've probably had the same content as the Playboy and the Sports Magazine combined.

"You should send me a copy."

Okay Logan, that was it. No more exchanging words with you. I'm done.

"Sure. Where do I send it? The blond dick at Yale?", I asked, sarcastic and provocative the same time.

Afterwards I got up and left. I was really done with that guy; done with that evening. The way the evening went was the complete opposite of what I had had in mind.

I was already on my way to my car, when I suddenly heard Rory's voice behind me.

"Jess, wait."

I turned around to face her.

"We shouldn't have done this."

"He's just in a bad way lately."

"He's a jerk!"

"He was. In there, definitely. I'm so sorry."

Why the hell was Rory defending him? Didn't she see how much of an asshole he had been in there? Apparently she DID see it, otherwise she wouldn't have started apologizing. But WHY did she do that? Why was she with that guy?

"I read that guy the second I saw him. I should have begged off."

"Well, I didn't want you to!" Why didn't you tell him not to join us then? Why did you get into his car? Why didn't you say anything when he came to your grandparents house?

"He'd better not come out here." I really felt like punching that kid in the face.

"Please, Jess. He had a lot to drink. He's tired from traveling. This isn't him. I swear."

"What the hell is going on?" I had wanted to ask her that the whole evening, and now I finally had the chance to. Did someone slap her head hard enough for her brain to get lost? For her personality to get lost? Where did the real Rory go?

"I told you, he's tired! And his family's bugging him right now -"

I didn't want Rory to start the whole defending-him-scene all over again, so I interrupted her.

"I mean, with you, Rory! What's going on with you?"

Rory was stunned by my question. "What do you mean?"

What do I mean? Rory? Are you just pretending not to know what I am talking about, or is that a serious question?

"You know what I mean! I know you. I know you better than anyone! This isn't you, Rory."

"I don't know."

"What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place? Being in the DAR? No Yale - why did you drop out of Yale?", I asked passionately. This really wasn't the Rory I used to know. The Rory I used to date. The Rory I used to be in love with. This seemed to be a totally different person.

"It's complicated!"

"It's not! It's not complicated!"

"You don't know!", Rory said defensive. Why was she acting that way?

"This isn't you! This! Going out with this jerk, with the Porsche! We made fun of guys like this!"

I was in rage. I really was. What happened to Rory?! What made her become that person?

"You caught him on a bad night."

Oh boy. Why was she bringing HIM up again?

"This isn't about him! Okay? Screw him! What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?"

Rory seemed to start getting it - I could tell that from the way she looked at me. I gave her a questioning look, wanting to know what she thought.

"I don't know, she finally answered, sincerely. She looked around as if she was looking for an answer, wrapping her coat closer around her, ...I don't know..."

This was really getting to me and I know I was becoming emotional.

"Okay, uh. Maybe, maybe we'll catch up at a better time." I reached out and rubbed her elbow for a second, trying to make her a little more comfortable again. Then I turned around, ready to leave. For now, I was done with this. Done with her. At the gate, I stopped again and turned around.

"Happy birthday, by the way. Wasn't that a couple weeks ago? Your birthday?" I sadly smiled at her. I wasn't in the mood anymore to give her a real smile. Rory still looked kind of shocked and all I got as a reply was a short nod.

I turned around - this time for good - and left. I really hoped we could meet another time again and by then, we should really be able to talk things over. And by then I wanted the real Rory Gilmore to have started a comeback.

... but Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?