It is all in your head
Disclaimer: The usual, I do not own these characters in any way. I am just borrowing them and playing with them in my imagination. I will return them when I am doing playing, honestly. Nothing is gained by this story other than a creative outlet.
A/N: With Season 10 now here and upon us, it has taken a few turns that I like and do not like. This story does include some events up to the last episode that aired on 11-21-03, which was freefall. If you have not seen the ER episode "Freefall" and do not want to be spoiled then please do not read this. Please Read and Review! 3-15-05 I redid this story to make it easier to read and made some small changes to the story itself.
Prologue to bring you up to speed:
It had been 18 months since Carter had left for Africa to bring Luka home. Carter leaving again had sent my life into a spiral of changes. I never thought that I would actually do any of them. I had finished med school and was now officially a doctor. Carter was still soul searching as I would like to call it in Africa. He had not been happy for a long time now. When I last saw him, things between us were not very great. We had fought and I told him not to bother coming back to Chicago, I would not wait for him. I was going to stop putting my life on hold. There was one question that I could not find the answer to and that was if I could really stop loving him.
So many things had changed. It seemed that there was more different than the same now. As I boarded the plane that was going to take me away from Chicago for the next two weeks, I could not help but wonder if I was doing the right thing or if this was going to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
Kissangani Africa:
There was the scent of blood in the air. It just hung there giving the place an eerie feeling, almost as if I was not supposed to be there. I could feel the muggy breeze that carried it blowing against my skin. The chill came across even though the heat was almost unbearable, making the hair on my arms stand up on end. Maybe I should be there; this was one of those ominous signs that people in the movies should pay attention too but never do.
The wind had dried the thin layer of sweat that covered my arms, yet my shirt was still soaked thru. This place was almost unbearable. How had he managed to stay here so long? I pushed my hair back out of my eyes and looked around the small tent that I had spent the night in. I did not sleep, even though I had just spent 18 hours on a plane, there was no way that I could have slept if I wanted to. It was too hot and it had been to long since I had seen him last.
Why was I here? I wasn't sure why I decided that I needed to come after all this time. I didn't have anything to prove to anyone. He was the one who left and then decided not to come back. Carter broke it off with me, well I wouldn't say that he broke it off with me, rather told me that he needed his space. He needed to figure some things out and to move on with my life because he didn't know when he would be back, or if he would be back. I would have rather had a phone call, but then maybe he did it the best way that he could at the time.
I wiped my hand across my face again. Kicking the ground with my shoe, as the dust flew up from where I made contact with the ground. As I watched it settle, back down I thought again to the last time that I had seen him was back in Chicago. I did not know if he would be happy to see me here. He had sent us Christmas presents from the Congo, but that was about the only time that we had heard from him. Luka had traveled back about a year ago and stayed for almost 6 months. He had brought news back that Carter was well and looked good, but something inside me told me that I needed to get on a plane and go and see for myself.
Maybe then, I really was not here just for Carter. I wanted to test my skills as a doctor out here. I was talking some time off from my residency to do this. At this rate I would never be an attending anywhere, but this was something that I felt good about doing. At least I did when I got on the plane in Chicago. Now in this strange place I felt completely out of my league. My eyes drifted back towards what was going to be the clinic that I would be working in. There was a tall slender figure standing just outside the building. I started to walk closer when it hit me. I was looking at Carter.
