Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy nor do I own the characters.
Inside of me
~
She smiles through a thousand tears
And harbors adolescent fears
She dreams of all
That she can never be
She wades in insecurity
And hides herself inside of me
~Mariah Carey
~
Nobody knows what its like to be the slayer. You never get a choice. You're just born with the plaque on your desk, "Slayer." That's the end of it. Your life is chosen, set out and prophesized.
Nobody understands how hard it is on a teenager. A teenager who wants to get out, explore the career choices and be free… but can't. Can't because her stupid obligation to the world that might fall into peril if she isn't there. Can't because every time she turns around some vampire, demon or monster come to life is breathing down her neck, about opening the hellmouth, about destroying the world… and she has to stop it.
Because the rest of the world is pampered. The rest of the world can't take care of themselves.
Well, damn them all.
I just want one day to my self.
One moment.
~
Angel placed the diary back on the nightstand, moving away towards the fireplace. Buffy had left it here from last night when she had visited him. An unbidden smile formed on his lips. How he loved her visits. How he loved her.
The fire crackled, sending shadows dancing across the stone walls. It was dusk; he could feel it in his bones. He could feel the wakening of the night. The cool pulsing of the creatures that lurked in the darkness.
And he could feel Buffy.
He was still facing the fire place when she stormed through the door. "I brought you dinner," always seemed to be the first thing she would say. He turned around, watching her place the carton next to her diary, then crash onto the couch.
"Willow was talking about her new job today," she whispered, looking up at him.
Angel lowered down next to her, not saying anything but offering his unsaid support.
"I've-"
But before she could finish her sentence, Angel interrupted her. "You could have a day job."
"I know, but I get tired of it. It's too much working. They should pay for slaying, you know."
If there was one thing Angel knew, it was Buffy. Or at least he hoped he did.
"Look, you don't have to use jokes. I know. I read your journal entry."
Buffy turned to him and in her eyes he saw a girl trying to escape. He saw who she wanted to be and who she was. "I just want to be normal," her voice cracked as she said it. "Maybe people wouldn't think I was a freak, not that I care what they think-"
Angel pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her. "I don't think you're a freak Buffy. Nor do your friends. We love you just as you are."
"I love you just as you are."
Note: tell me what you think. It's my first Buffy/Angel short story.
