Their relationship had always been odd. Kissing in dark abandoned corridors, claiming that their feelings were nothing romantic when it was obvious they were head over heels for each other. Merlin remembered fondly the first time he confessed his need to kiss her, she pinned him up against a wall and kissed him till he had no breath left. Despite their intimate moments they never claimed that they loved one another. They couldn't.
When Morgana turned dark no one could figure out why he of all people was so upset, he couldn't tell them he was in more-than-friendship-yet-not-a-relationship with the king's ward. He valued a portion of his life.
When Morgana had ordered Morgause and her men that under no circumstances was Merlin to be hurt or killed nobody understood why. She couldn't tell them that she had loved him.
When Arthur took back the kingdom Morgana still sought Merlin sometimes and they would share a night together. She showed him her old self, the one that thought everyone was equal. Yet Morgana would wipe away Merlin's memories of that night, he would think it was nothing but a dream.
Merlin understood that Morgana thought that she was right and if he wasn't so loyal to Arthur he would join her, perhaps guide her into a safer way to unite magic. Yet as he stood over her, staff drawn he knew this was the way things had to be. Yet he had only one question.
"Did you ever love me?" Morgana desperately wanted to say no, to spare him as he had tried to do for her many a times but she was far to selfish.
"I never stopped Merlin" she saw hope flicker and disappear in his eyes, he lunched the staff into her, watching as the life drained from her eyes.
"I'm sorry Morgana" he knelt next to her lifeless body and kissed her ever so gently on the lips, then closed her eyes. Arthur stared at his manservant in shock, he walked over, anger burning but stopped when he saw Merlin's lifeless eyes.
"I'm sorry Arthur, I know you think I betrayed you but I never wanted the magic, I was born with it and Morgana…. Let's just say I can't explain that. I loved her but I never betrayed you so go ahead kill me but I never wanted this." When he didn't answer Merlin turned to walk away. Arthur looked between the battlefield and Morgana before running to the younger boy.
"Merlin, you choose Camelot over your own desire, you choose me over Morgana. I…. I can't punish you for that" Merlin said nothing but dropped to his knees. Tears streamed down his face and he screamed, magic flowed from him, ebbing over every inch of the field, Arthur brought Merlin into a hug and the magic flowed backwards as Merlin sobbed.
"I'm sorry" Arthur said nothing.
"I loved her" Merlin added and Arthur looked up at the sky.
"I know" he replied.
"I loved her and she never knew it"
