A/N: Well, I'm Baaaack... This new story is not Bethyl, Meth or Brick but it does revolve around Beth. The title is taken from Ringo Starr's song of the same name.
All reviews are appreciated and don't worry, there will be more to this and we'll see what's been going on to get us to this point.
Those of you wanting Bethyl (minus the fluff), should check out my other new story, "Wife Swap."
Enjoy!
It Don't Come Easy
There were distant sounds of people talking, laughing and carrying on as if they didn't have a care in the world. The fact that they were tucked safely behind the walls in Alexandria and had been since the beginning didn't help. They had all been sheltered from the outside world, from the pain it would bring them. Not just at the jaws of walkers but at the hands of others, of living people.
The porch swing creaked as Beth curled herself upon it, trying her best to stay in the shadows. She had been this way since she found them, her family. Always hiding in the shadows, afraid to let them see her face. It was bad enough she saw her scars and could feel them like they were fresh wounds, she didn't need nor did she want others to see them too. She knew full well what their reactions would be if they were able to get a closer look, to trace their fingers over the ragged marks. They would leave, shut her out just like he did.
A few silent tears escaped as she recalled the day she happened upon the gate of Alexandria.
The looks of disbelief from her family, the shock of being there had made them all say and do things she never thought were possible.
A few of them were angry, though she couldn't tell if it was at her or themselves, some were just scared but not him, not Daryl.
He wasn't afraid of anything after all.
Maybe that's why she sought him out in the days after she returned. She wanted to feel alive again, like she hadn't felt in months. Maybe he wouldn't be afraid of her like her sister was. Maybe he would tell her everything was alright and she was safe. Maybe he wouldn't treat her like glass like Rick did. Maybe he would treat her like she was Beth.
She scoffed out loud. That was a whole lot of maybes to put on one man.
She drew in a breath as the porch creaked underneath heavy footsteps. She didn't move from her spot on the swing, even after a shadowy figure appeared and sat down on the steps.
Tyreese sat there silently, looking out onto the street and listening to the sounds of life around him. Alexandria would never be home, never be safe but he was trying. For her, he would try.
He tried to stop himself but the urge to cry, to release all of the emotions he had been holding back, was too strong.
A tear fell without a sound and then as another slipped from his eye, he let it go. A pitiful whimper at first, then gasps for air as his body shook with sobs.
"I'm sorry," he whispered between breaths, "I'm so sorry.
Beth felt bad for staring at the man and listening in but if she moved or made a sound, it would disrupt him from doing what he obviously needed to do.
He rubbed a hand over his face, then rubbed that same hand over his arm.
The bandages were no longer stained in red, the physical wound had long since healed but the memory that stayed with him was something that time couldn't take away.
Different scenarios danced though his head as he thought of everything life had thrown at them in the past year. He shouldn't be here, he should've met his end a long time ago. Maybe after he found Karen burned to death like she was one of those things, like she didn't matter to anyone, and he had thrown himself into a crowd of those things. Maybe when he was with Carol in that little house and she had told him it was her who had killed Karen, he couldn't kill her then and he wouldn't have but maybe the bullet in that gun she slid across the table was meant for himself. That could have been the end, which could have changed things and stopped what was to come. If he had turned that gun on himself, the events that unfolded because of his foolishness would have changed. Those people, or monsters, at Terminus would never have been able to find them. That's right, they found them in that little church because of his mistake, his unwillingness to do what needed to be done. He could have put a bullet in that guys brain instead of lying like a coward and leaving him there, alive, for his friends to find.
That could have changed things with Bob, with Beth, with Sasha.
But he was here. He made it through. That's what matters most.
After the night had grown quiet once again, Beth held her breath as she eased her feet onto the porch and tried to stand without making a sound but her attempt was unsuccessful.
The board beneath her foot squeaked and the chain rattled as the swing jarred from her movements.
Tyreese snapped his head towards the dark corner of the porch, squinting his eyes to see through the night as Beth stood still in the shadows.
He let out a deep, ragged sigh then turned his head back towards the street.
"I know you're there, Beth," he whispered, just barely loud enough she could hear.
She let out a breath and stepped forward.
"How'd you know it was me?" She asked as she continued to take small steps his way.
"I didn't know you were here at first but I heard you breathin' and everyone else is inside. I knew it had to be you because none of them would have just there as long as you did."
Beth stared down at him and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ty. I shouldn't have just sat there, I should've gone inside."
"No need to be sorry."
He watched as her eyes fell to his arm, still wrapped in bandages where it was severed.
"Does it hurt?" She gasped as the words she didn't mean to speak left her mouth.
"Sometimes but the pain is bearable now." His eyes flicked from his arm to her head. "Does that still hurt?"
"No. It's painful to see them but they don't hurt, not like they used to anyway."
Without being asked, he moved over so she could sit on the step next to him but instead, she sat down with her back against the banister and her family in view through the window she faced.
After a few minutes of silence, he asked, "What were you doin' out here?"
She shrugged. "I just needed away from everyone."
"I get that," he said solemnly. "Sometimes you just need space."
"What about you? Why were you out here?"
"Just thinkin' about everything that's happened."
Beth nodded to herself. The quiet between them and the small talk was so awkward, she thought about getting up, maybe going over to Carol's but she didn't.
She sighed and chuckled. "It's crazy being here," she said. "I shouldn't be here, none of us should but we are. No matter how much we wish were weren't, we are. What happened to Sasha, it wasn't your fault. She made that choice on her own. It had nothing to do with you. You know that, right? She walked into that herd on her own."
"Yeah, I know but she shouldn't have had to make that choice. The reason she did was because of Bob. She did what I couldn't do after Karen."
"Some people can't come back from something like that but you did. You made it through for a reason, so I know you can make it through now."
"I hope you're right," he choked out then rubbed his eyes. "Have you made it back from Daryl?"
Beth closed her eyes and shook her head. "That's a different place to come back from. He's still here, I still see him but he's not the same."
"That place you're in, we've all been there. You'll make it through that," he smiled. "You made it through getting shot in the head so you can make it through anything."
Beth smiled too. "I hope you're right 'cause it hurts like hell."
Meanwhile, inside the house, Daryl sat at the kitchen table with a drink in his hand.
Despite his appearance, he was happy. He never thought he would feel like this again, not since that night in the mortuary. But he was and damn it if that didn't start to make him feel bad.
Rick had told him after Beth showed up at the gates that he had a right to be happy, it was up to him to find that happiness, and he tried, for a little while. He tried to be there with Beth. Hold her hand, comfort her when she cried, just be there for her like he was supposed to but he couldn't. She began to shut him, now that he thinks about it, she shut everyone out. Once she did, it made it harder for him to pretend.
That's when he left. He probably should have stuck it out, not been such a pussy about it but he left and that was that.
He went back to the comfort and happiness he had found before Beth came back. It was waiting for him with open arms just like he was promised.
"I understand, Daryl. You need to be with Beth and work out whatever it is you're feeling. Just know, I'll be waiting for you if you decide to come back and if not, I'll be happy for you."
The next morning, before Maggie and Glenn woke up, Beth snuck out and made her way to Carol's.
She knocked but when she didn't get an answer, she turned the knob to find the door unlocked.
It wasn't like she was trying to be nosey, she just wanted to talk to Carol, so she went on inside.
She could hear voices coming from one of the rooms upstairs, then Judy started crying.
"Here, hold her while I get her bath water ready," she heard the older woman say as she turned on the water. "You can still talk."
"It ain't nothin', really," Daryl replied.
"Well, if it ain't nothin', then why are you acting like you're scared?" Carol asked. "Hand her to me."
"Holly's pregnant."
Beth felt her heart drop and tears fill her eyes as she tried to make them go away.
"Daryl," she could hear the disappointment in Carol's voice. "You know the risks. Why did you allow that to happen?"
Before Daryl could answer, Beth had turned for the door and ran.
That was her go-to lately. Running from things, from people and her problems.
She ran until she reached the gate and as fast as she could, she opened it and ran some more.
"Beth!"
She didn't get very far, just a few feet from the gate, when she heard someone calling her name. She stopped, despite the urge to keep running, and closed her eyes tightly as she heard footsteps approaching her.
"Beth, are you alright?" She recognized Tyreese's voice.
She kept her eyes shut but nodded her head. "I'm fine."
He reached out, putting his hand on her shoulder, and pulled her close to him.
"You don't look fine. Why were you runnin'?"
"Daryl," she whispered.
"What'd he do?"
She opened her eyes and tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. She didn't answer though, just shook her head and continued to cry.
How could he do this?
He knew that what kept her going after she was taken from him the first time was the hope of finding him. She still believed he would be the last man standing but this, this hurt more than losing him before and after Grady. Sure, she knew when she got here that something had changed, then Maggie and Rick had talked to her and told her what all had happened before her arrival. She was sure he was still a good man and she was happy for him but at the same time, she hated it.
Tyreese put his arm around her shoulders and led her back through the gate and straight to Carol's.
Daryl was just leaving Carol's house when Tyreese and Beth walked up.
He gave them a slight nod but didn't say anything. He couldn't help but wonder why Beth looked upset but he kept the question to himself and walked away.
When they got inside, Carol immediately handed Judith to Tyreese and took Beth's hand.
"What's the matter, sweetie? Did you have another panic attack?"
"No," she managed though it would have been easier to lie and say she had.
"Then what happened?"
"She ran outside the walls," Tyreese answered for her.
"Bethie, is that true?"
She nodded.
"Why would you do that?"
"I….I needed space."
Carol shook her head. "Ty, would you mind giving us a minute? You can put Judy down for her nap if you'd like."
He didn't speak as he went upstairs and neither did Carol until she heard the bedroom door shut. "Come on," she urged. "It's time we have a talk and I mean one where you actually talk to me and tell me what's on your mind. None of this stuff about hurting or fears or needing space."
Beth curled her legs up underneath her as she sat down in the armchair.
"That's just it. That's everythin' I think about. There's never a time when any of those things aren't on my mind."
"I'm sure things are more specific in your head than just those words. Tell me whatever it is you're feeling."
"I can't," Beth said, standing up and heading for the door.
Carol hurried after her and grabbed her hand as she reached for the doorknob. "You are not leaving here until you talk. You may think this is all about you but it's not. These little fits you throw are causing problems for everyone and instead of surviving and taking care of things, everyone is worried about you! You're making us weak, Beth."
Beth jerked her arm away for her and backed towards the door.
Carol watched her walk out, all the while thinking about the days after Grady and how weak and vulnerable the group was. It wasn't just exhaustion and hunger, it was sadness and regret and hurt and anger. All of that revolved around Beth and now that she was back, she was stirring up those things once again.
A/N: I'm adding this little note because of all the reviews I've received on this story. I made a point to let everyone know that this would have hints of Bethyl but that it would NOT be Bethyl and I have absolutely no desire to change my mind regardless of how many people want it to be Bethyl. If you do not like my choice, move on to another story but please do not keep on. This is my story, I will tell it how I want to.
Thank you all for reading and reviewing!
