I think I might be one of the rare people in the planet who like Mondays. I would spend the whole weekend looking forward to going back to school. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I like school. It's just that weekends are not fun for me. I never get to do anything.

For you to understand this, you have to get to know my family. For my parents it's all about control. I think my dad must have been a general in the military in a previous life. You do not argue with my dad. If he tells you that the earth has the shape of a cube, you nod your head and say it's a cube. If, God forbid, you try to convince him otherwise, he'd fly into a blind rage and you'd scurry away with your tail between your legs. He was diagnosed years ago, before I was even born with an incurable disease. We never talk about it at home but I think it makes him feel weak and insecure so he turns that into even more control. He has to have a say in everything, the housework that my mom has, the quality of the food cooked, the schools we go to and the subjects we take, what TV shows we watch and even when we go to sleep.

I think that that amount of control over her life, and the fact that she couldn't talk back to my dad, made my mom want to regain control back by dictating our lives, her children I mean. Therefore, I grew up into a wallflower. I never had any close friends growing up, I always followed what my parents told me to do, I wore the clothes my mom bought and chose for me to wear each day, never spoke out of turn especially when we had people visiting. I was the perfect puppet.

Now that I am older, I am not exactly as easy to control, but instead of rebellion, I chose to withdraw into myself. I never shared with my mom any of my secrets or insecurities growing up, never hung out with her and had a girl talk. Same with my dad, never had a serious heart to heart, never discussed what I wanted to do in life. There were just their expectations and whether I fulfilled them.

For me, we were strangers living in the same house.

I don't want you to think that my parents are monsters. They are not, there are parents out there a lot worse than mine. I think I am the problem. I feel it deep down that I am different from the rest and I am not the easiest person to be around, so my parents don't understand me. I wish I could change and be the kind of daughter they'd want, to be cute, popular and lovable. To be charismatic and charm my parents into allowing me to be myself, the kind of whirlwind who'd get what she wants and then my parents would be left shaking their heads with find desperation knowing that I had my way but they are fine with it because it's me. But that seems to be impossible. It's just not in my genetic makeup.

Even at school, I am quite a forgettable person. I don't have that many friends. I am not part of any club, I am not the kind of person to get invited to parties, hell I haven't had a single boyfriend in all of my 17 years.

I go to school, get my books from my locker, go to class, have lunch, go to class and head home. Every day, same routine. Nothing changes. Life is just so dull. But the thing is, maybe deep down that's how I want it to be. Maybe I am afraid and don't want to change it. I don't know and I try not to think about it too much.

Oh, I almost forgot. I have a brother. His name is Andy. He is the total opposite. From childhood he was quite stubborn, never afraid to argue for what he wanted and even to go head to head with my parents. He is outspoken, has a lot of friends. He has a life.

We aren't very close, we never discuss our day, we meet at the dinner table or briefly at breakfast and that's about it.

It feels lonely to be me.

Now that you know all there is to know about me, let's get on with the story.