No beta – all silly little mistakes are all my own.
Dean Winchester remembered the first time he saw Castiel Milton dressed in brown shorts barely covering his knees, a long blue t-shirt covering his slim physique, a shag of dark brown hair covering his head and the brightest blue eyes he ever had seen. They reminded Dean of the ocean when the sunlight sparkled on it, Dean liked them a lot.
Dean had moved to Sonoma, California with kid brother, Sam Winchester, and surrogate father, Bobby Singer from Lawrence, Kansas. With both parents dead and buried, Dean only had the two of him in his life. Whilst eleven years old, Sam, lingered in the 5th grade, Dean was thrust into Sonoma Valley High School in freshman year surrounded by strangers and no one to turn to for help.
Dean looked down at his own black shorts and white t-shirt feeling like a fool, the amulet that Sam had given him one Christmas hung loosely around his neck and he fidgeted touching the gold head nervously. His eyes lingered on the strange boy in the distance flicking through a superhero magazine and his feet moved towards him.
"Hi" Dean murmured softly startling him that much he jerked back dropping the magazine on the floor.
"I'm Dean" he said holding out his hand.
"What?" he whispered looking at his hand and backing away like he was holding out a poisonous snake to him.
"My name…I'm Dean"
"Oh" he breathed scooping down to collect the magazine and took his hand gingerly. "My name is Castiel"
"Castel"
"No, Castiel" he said with a small humoured smile.
"Can I just call you Cas instead? Your name is weird and hard" he murmured shifting his feet and hands.
"Okay" Castiel breathed looking over to him and looking around. "I've never really had a nickname before"
"Why not?" Dean said with a frown. Castiel swallowed with a shrug and dropped down on the ground looking over the comic book. Dean sniffed and glanced over his shoulders seeing students walk around in the morning sun waiting for the first bell.
"I'm new here" Dean said dropping down next to him. "I was hoping you could help me out"
"Me?" Castiel squeaked astonished.
"Yeah" Dean replied with a shrug.
Castiel breathed out panicked and averted his eyes away from him. "But…there are so many more people who are better than me. There is Jo, Pamela, Brady, Chuck" he said pointing them out on the yard. "I'm not sure I can be all that useful. You'll find out, I'm just the freak with the weird angel name, the nerd who likes to paint, goes to art galleries and reading comic books and watching sci-fi films"
"You and my brother are going to get on amazingly well" Dean said with a bemused shake of his head. "I saw you first, Cas, and I think we could both do with a friend right now"
Castiel's lips formed into a smile and he nodded eagerly. "Okay"
Dean grinned and jumped when the first bell went launching off their first day together. It was also were Dean learnt everything about Castiel. Castiel lived with his mother, Eve Milton, and his eldest brother, Michael, and baby sister, Anna. Michael was currently in college and Anna was six months old. Castiel and Michael's father had passed away whilst Anna's father was missing in action.
Over the first few weeks together in school, Dean saw what Castiel met about being shunned and laughed at in the school. Every time Castiel spoke up in a lesson, he was either mocked or laughed at. Dean could only grit his teeth angrily watching Castiel's shoulders slump and his mouth turn down in a grimace. It carried on till one day in physics, Dean finally cracked.
"Hey, asshat" he said to a guy mocking Castiel called, Az Maguire. "You mock him one more time and I'll make sure to shove that pen down your fucking throat"
Castiel looked at Dean in shocked awe and glanced over to Az who raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really? Is the new boy making a stand for the freak?" he said looking over to Castiel who narrowed his eyes at him.
"Yeah I am because he may have a strange name and be a whole lot more smarter than you, you lowlife dick, but at least he aint a bully, a smartass bastard picking on people he knows can rip him apart with a few words" Dean hissed into his face. "So…if I hear you or any of your other lowlife friends mock him, touch him, or even look at him, I'll make sure you regret ever laying eyes on him".
Az swallowed hard looking away from him and staring in front of the classroom. Castiel gaped at him when Dean turned to look at him and winked with a smug smile. Castiel felt a warm glow in his heart and stared at the side of his face when he jotted down notes in his booklet. It was surprising for him but he welcomed it eagerly.
Dean stopped the teasing and it made sure to strength their friendship even more.
It was a great moment for Dean when Castiel invited him over to his house to meet his family and he met, Eve Milton. Eve stepped towards him with a beaming smile and kissed his cheek in welcome; Dean looked over her in shock and complete awe. Eve was beautiful with soft brown hair, light blue eyes to match, and a smile that shown every kindness. Anna was six months old sat in her chair waving a teething ring and smiling when Castiel scooped her up.
Dean looked over them all and saw a tight knit family. "Where's your brother?"
"Michael is studying" Eve replied wiping down the side. "Also ignore the smell of paint, Castiel is adventurous"
"Mom" he murmured with a blush.
"You paint?"
"Yes" he said indicating his head and passing Anna over to Eve who cooed kissing her daughters cheek. Castiel led Dean upstairs and he looked over the photos of Castiel on the walls and smiled softly amused. He was led past a room playing soft music and upstairs to the attic.
Dean whistled low and spun in a circle seeing a double bed in the corner of the room covered in a dark blue quit, a skylight lay on top of roof underneath it and on the surrounding walls were paintings.
"You're seriously good, Cas"
"Hours and hours of free time" he murmured with a small smile. Dean trailed his fingers down the painting of a tree in such great detail, colour, and precision it scared him slightly.
Castiel flushed hard when he turned wide and open eyes to him showing him his open admiration for him.
"Keep this up and my best friend is going to be a millionaire"
"What?" he breathed.
"You're going to be a millionaire"
"No, the best friend part" he whispered in shock.
Dean cleared his throat nervously. "I've known you for six months, dude, of course you're my best friend"
Castiel chuckled nervously and nodded with a beaming smile. "I feel the same way"
Throughout the years together they stuck together like two peas in a pod. They were a duo and if they named Dean in high school they also named Castiel along with him. It was junior year when girls hit the scene for Dean and he took a profound interest in them whilst Castiel struggled with his own feelings. Dean was Castiel's first and only friend but the love he felt for him was different, it was deeper and more intense. Castiel found himself daydreaming when Dean spoke to him or hugged him briefly and longed for more. He longed for Dean to kiss him like the numerous girls and provided his worries and his longing with the one person who tried to understand, Sam.
When Dean was otherwise occupied Castiel would spend his time with Sam. Even at thirteen, Sam was a good listener and listened to Castiel.
"You're both sixteen, you're both kind of adults…well you are" Sam said spinning around on his chair. "Just tell him how you feel, I've told you this a million times"
"I can't"
"I have also heard that a million times!" Sam said rolling his eyes and kicking him lightly in the shin. "My brother as dumb as he is adores you to the moon and back, Cas, he loves you but he doesn't see it because every girl is throwing themselves at him. If you tell him how you really feel then he might give you what you really want"
"I might lose him; I don't want to lose him"
"You won't"
Castiel nodded and looked down when his cell phone rang and he answered it.
"Hey, where are you?"
"With Sam"
"Again?" Dean said in an irritated tone. "Come see me"
"I like spending time with your brother and Bobby, Dean, it's like my second family" Castiel said walking out of Sam's room and heading down the stairs.
"I'm in the park"
"Alone?"
"Yes" Dean said sounding bored. "Bring food"
The phone cut off and Castiel sighed heading towards the kitchen to see Bobby scanning through the channels.
"Dean demanded food" Castiel said opening the cupboard.
"Potato chips in the second cupboard" he said with a roll of his eyes. Castiel smirked grabbing them and heading out towards the park where Dean was swinging gently.
"There's my angel" Dean said in greeting when he walked in and tossed him the bag.
"Hilarious" Castiel replied dryly dropping down in the swing next to him. Dean winked opening them up and handing it over to him, Castiel shoved one into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.
"So, did you hook up with Taylor?"
"Mmm that girl has a good tongue" he murmured with a smirk glancing over to Castiel who looked down at the floor.
"Taylor has a friend you know…"
"I do not want you setting me up"
"No you'd rather paint and hang out with little old me" Dean said kicking his feet up and leaned his forehead against the cold bars. "It's a good thing"
Castiel hummed looking over to him and staring into his eyes as they swung gently in the breeze. Dean's eyes crinkled in amusement and he looked away out of the park leaving Castiel to stare at the side of his face.
"What were you and my little brother talking about?"
"His hopes for Stanford"
"He'll get there, he's a smart kid" Dean said proudly. "Just like you will get into art school"
"Dean…" he moaned and trailed off blushing furiously.
"You have no idea how amazing you truly are and one day…one day you're going to be a star"
"Stop it, it's not for another year or two yet" he said twiddling his fingers together. Dean gave a frown looking back over to him feeling an uncomfortable twist to his gut at losing him for school but Dean was so proud of him that if he had to leave he would let him go.
It was two months after their conversation in the park that Dean and Castiel bought beer with his fake I.D and got drunk on the hill near their houses.
"Stars!" Castiel said brushing his hand over the dark and purple sky. Dean grinned at him when he chuckled leaning his head on his shoulder hiccupping.
"You're a lousy drunk, Casanova"
"So are you, Dean-o"
"I thought I told you to not call me that" Dean murmured poking his sides till peals of laughter escaped Castiel's lips and he fell down into his lap. Dean looked down at him as he settled his head into his lap and closed his eyes. His hand moved resting into his hair and he gently stroked his fingers into it before giving up and lying back down onto the grass.
"Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm kinda drunk right now" Castiel murmured sitting up and looking down at him.
"I figured" Dean murmured tucking his hands behind his head.
"So I don't care" Castiel said with a shrug moving over and straddling his waist. Dean gasped opening his eyes looking up to his wide open glazed blue eyes looking down at him lust lidded and his hair disarrayed with pieces of grass.
"What are you doing?" Dean murmured when he moved down looking over his features. Dean stared at him curiously when he trailed his fingers over his forehead, cheekbones, mouth, lips, nose, and smiled moving back to look over him properly.
"You're beautiful"
"You're hammered" Dean said chuckling and grabbed his wrist lifting up so they were inches apart from each other. Castiel sucked in a sharp breath looking down at the plump bottom lip glistening wet from saliva and beer and letting out a small whimper. Dean narrowed his eyes thoughtfully and cocked his head at him when he moved forward pressing his forehead against his so they were staring into each other's eyes.
"Cas…"
"Dean…"
Dean didn't know why or how but he could feel his eyes closing in anticipation and inhaled when Castiel moved towards him pressing his lips against his in a soft brush. Castiel pulled back biting his lip and shaking his head quickly, Dean's eyes opened slowly to see Castiel fighting an inner panic.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Dean, I just…I wanted to for so long and I'm seriously, seriously, drunk and…" he said breathing heavily and was cut off when Dean cupped the back of his neck kissing him firmly. Castiel moaned in surprise falling with him as they rolled onto the grass and Dean pressed him into it.
Castiel moaned fisting his hands into his jacket twirling his tongue against Dean's. It was heated, passionate, and everything Castiel had longed for. They parted for breath and stared at each other flustered, their chests pressed together and a curious peak inside of Dean.
"Wow" Dean murmured tracing his finger across his bottom lip and smiling. "You didn't tell me you were a good kisser, Cas"
"I'm full of surprises" he whispered pulling him back into a languid kiss. Dean moaned brokenly when Castiel kicked his leg in between his thighs resting his knee against his dick.
"Oh baby, that was a smooth move" Dean said breathless when he smirked up at him. Castiel shut is eyes feeling queasy and looked up at Dean who was watching him carefully in return.
"You've been thinking about kissing me all this time?"
"Yes, I have wanted to for a long time…but you never noticed and I only realised my feelings for you when it was too late and every girl was more fuckable than your own best friend" he said in a soft voice. Dean frowned deeply watching him stretch and sit up to face him.
"We're drunk" he whispered pecking his lips. "It's okay to regret it in the morning"
"Who said I would regret it?"
"I do" Castiel murmured wriggling underneath him to let him go when Dean growled low and shoved him down pinning his wrists either side of him. Castiel landed with a smack on the hard soil and grunted when Dean pressed his weight into him and hovered over him exhaling loudly.
"Let me tell you a little bedtime story…my best friend has just told me that he thinks about kissing me, the same best friend I have known for nearly three years now and I care about him more than he could ever imagine. Now anyone else would run a mile or end the friendship immediately but there not me and I'm not about to run or regret it"
"You're straight"
"True, I do like my share of women out there but right now…I think I like the guy I'm pinning down a lot more"
"I like this bedtime story" Castiel muttered when Dean moved down to kiss him and Dean felt desire pool in his groin so unexpected that it scared him to death. Castiel smiled moving his now freed hands up to cup the sides of his neck widening his mouth further for Dean's pleasure.
That is how it started. Three years after meeting in freshman year they finally gave in to their feelings, one hidden deep down and the other unknown to the first kiss which started off their relationship. It wasn't a shock to everyone when they announced their relationship publically two weeks after the incident on the hill. It was a slow steady step over the borderline of friendship to relationship.
~0~0~0~
Senior year was the best year for both of them. They were seventeen, they were young, they were in a year long relationship that was heading towards many possibilities but most of all they were one hundred per cent happy.
Dean banged on the front door and smiled when Eve opened the door holding a four year old Anna's hand.
"Hey, sweetheart, he's upstairs"
"Painting?"
"As usual" she said with a smile and walked back into the living room to play tea parties. Dean bounded up the stairs and headed towards the attic hearing soft piano music playing out of it and grinned shaking his head. He pushed open the door slowly to see Castiel in his painting smock and pants, his head wild and his face streaked with paint.
"Picasso" Dean said wrapping his arms around his waist.
"Hello, Dean" Castiel murmured with a smile when he leaned his chin on his shoulder.
"What the hell is that?" he said looking at the mix of colours, red, yellow, orange, all scrambled together.
"This is us" he said proudly.
"Oh" Dean breathed with a raised eyebrow. "Am I that orange blob there?"
"No" Castiel said rolling his eyes. "This is us, our energies, our relationship…it's fiery, it's passionate, and it's out of control"
Dean hummed pressing his lips against his neck feeling his stubble scratch against his and pushed his hands up to his stomach feeling it's warmth and the delicate hair there.
"Is Michael below?"
"No, he's not in town…he's gone to visit our other family in Wisconsin"
"Good" he whispered spinning him around. Castiel smiled when he claimed his lips and grabbed his brush shoving it aside.
"I see you have missed me"
"Of course, I know we have all our exams and you're working your ass of for this exam…for your course in that art school…but I'm always here, baby" he murmured kissing his neck.
"That's why I love you"
"Show me" Dean murmured shoving him towards the double bed. Castiel grinned shredding his clothing and watching Dean strip off and push him onto the spread.
"Spread your legs, baby" Dean hissed watching him spread his legs wider for him and moaning low looking over him. His hands travelled down the length of his chest as he admired the smooth panes of his abs. Castiel gasped when he tweaked a nipple and Dean bit his lip.
"Why do you grow to be more and more gorgeous?"
"Compliments will get you very far these days" Castiel murmured looking over Dean who moved his head down kissing over his belly button. He chuckled staring down at him and letting out a gasp when Dean's cold hands rested on his thighs.
Dean swiped his tongue over the top of his head feeling Castiel moan moving his hands down to grip the top of his hair. Dean swallowed him down feeling Castiel cry out and wriggle underneath him so much that Dean had to take his mouth off him.
"Dean!"
"Stop moving around" he ordered with warning in his eyes.
Castiel narrowed his eyes at him lying back and settling into the mattress and closing his eyes when Dean sucked him down till his lips were touching the wiry hairs of his dick. Castiel cried out when his other hand massaged his balls and stared up at the blue sky overhead feeling exposed and vulnerable. It was a huge turn on that caused Castiel to grip his hands into his hair and come loudly down Dean's throat.
Dean hummed sucking him till he was sensitive and moaning softly.
"You're amazing" Dean murmured moving up to him.
"No, I am simply ordinary but you" he replied and moved closer wrapping his legs around his waist. "You're everything"
"Oh you are such a smooth talker" Dean teased nuzzling his neck.
Castiel smiled softly at him and reclaimed his lips as they kissed lazily.
"Dean?"
Dean hummed kissing down his chest lazily and looking up at him. "Yeah?"
"We need to talk"
Dean narrowed his eyes sitting up and nodding at him confused. Castiel shifted so he was sitting cross legged on the bed and wrapped the blanket around them both. Dean felt all of the sudden nervous and sick when Castiel reached for his hands.
"I got a letter this morning from the art institute of charlotte in North Carolina and they said yes" he said with beaming smile. "If I get my results I have a place in the school I have wanted to go for so long"
Dean sucked in a sharp breath and forced a tight fake smile. "North Carolina"
"I know, I know it's so far away"
"Yeah…it's one hell of a journey"
"Dean, this is everything I have ever wanted" he murmured moving towards him and cupping his cheeks. "I love you more than anything in this world but this is my career and you always said…"
"Baby, I know, okay? I know how much you have always wanted this and I'm not about to start begging you to stay…I'll leave that to when I drop you off at the airport" he said with a small laugh when Castiel shook his head amused.
Dean fidgeted staring down at their locked hands and shrugged his shoulders.
"Long distance relationships can work…we can have amazing phone sex" he said with a sad smile that didn't reach his eyes. Castiel swallowed hard moving towards him and climbing into his lap.
"I love you"
"I like you too" Dean murmured kissing him and stroking a hand down the side of his cheek. Dean held him close inhaling his smell when Castiel wrapped his arms around him. He knew the process of saying goodbye would be painful and letting him go would be unbelievable but it had to be done.
Their exams took place over the next few weeks and Castiel passed art with flying colours and his departure date was looming closer and closer. On the final night before his departure, a leaving party was given for him. It was close family, Eve, Michael, Anna, Sam, and Bobby who came over for drinks and goodbyes. Dean sat in the chair watching him mingle and ignored the soft pity looks from Sam.
"Dean" Sam whispered touching his knee.
"It's fine" he whispered back brushing his hand away. "This day has been coming for weeks"
Sam sighed moving away and settling back into the chair. Dean looked up at Castiel who walked over and dropped down on his lap wrapping his arms around his neck.
"How are you feeling?"
"Nervous but excited" he whispered resting his forehead against his. "Mom won't stop fussing or crying"
"She's your mom"
"I know but…I feel guilty for leaving her and with Michael leaving soon I just…" he said and trailed off. Dean frowned looking around and back up to Castiel.
"They'll be fine, don't worry" he said rubbing a hand up and down his back. Castiel shivered longing to return upstairs with Dean and has his last night for a long time. The night ended swiftly when Bobby got drunk and Eve carried him home. Castiel took Dean's hand who followed him upstairs to the attic and they kissed slowly at the door before moving inside and shutting it. Dean undressed him quickly, Castiel doing the same as they walked towards the bed together and fell down onto the covers.
The midnight sky was clear apart from the stars and moon which reflected its light onto the bed. Dean looked at him in the moonlight and sucked in a sharp breath.
"I'm going to miss you" Dean murmured softly. Castiel bit his lip and gripped him tight spinning him around so Castiel was on top. Dean let him take over and take his place instead letting Castiel grab the lube skipping foreplay and slicking his fingers up and sliding them into the hole. Dean hissed and moaned at the pain and pleasure of being stretched wide open slowly and scissored wide enough so Dean was ready. Castiel moaned at the tight heat inside of Dean and slipped a third finger inside of him.
"Cas, please" he begged arching his spine off the bed and rolling his hips towards him. Castiel smiled removing his fingers and moving up lifting his hips and sheathing his dick deep inside him. Dean gasped and panted when he filled him till he was balls deep. Castiel bent down capturing Dean's lips and fucking him slowly and carefully.
Dean's legs wrapped around his slim waist moving with him when he thrusted his hips deeper inside him. Castiel bit his lip staring down at him and feeling tears coat his eyes at the thought of not seeing him for weeks on end. Dean's hands came up brushing under his eyes and shushing him softly.
"It's okay, I got you" he murmured stroking a hand down his chest. Castiel nodded kissing him hard and demanding till they were rutting up against each other and he was clutching Dean tight coming deep inside of him. The sex continued late on into the night till they were exhausted and fucked out. It was 3am when Dean tucked Castiel under his chin holding him tight and knowing it was the last for a long time.
The next morning was the day that everything changed but they just didn't know it. Dean, Eve and Anna dropped Castiel off at the airport with all bags packed and everything prepared. His goodbyes to his mother and sister were hard and tearful but that was nothing as Dean clutched him close in a last hug goodbye. Castiel felt tears prickle in his eyes and he pulled back shaking his head.
"How can I leave…?"
"Because you have to go and be amazing" Dean whispered cupping his face and kissing underneath his eyelids. Castiel sobbed shaking his head and kissing him gently, Dean sniffed kissing him back and pulling away.
"Come on, baby, we can call each other, email each other, and there is the holidays" he whispered. "Here"
Dean took off the amulet still around his neck and handed it over to Castiel who gasped alarmed.
"Dean, you love this more than anything…"
"Yeah I do but I love you more" he murmured placing it around his neck. Castiel turned back to look at the terminal and nodded taking off the bracelet he had since he was a little boy and hand it over.
"Now, you love this more than anything, Cas. I can't" he said pushing his hand away.
"Yes but it just means we have to stay in contact" he teased sliding it over his wrist. Dean watched him collect his bag on the floor and move towards him giving him one last lingering kiss.
"I love you"
"I love you too" Dean whispered watching him flutter his fingers at Eve and Anna before leaving with tear filled eyes. Dean fidgeted feeling the burn of his own tears and breathed out shakily feeling his own heart taking a beating.
The moment he was left was the moment everything started to change. Long distance relationships never really work and the distance was painfully far away from each other. It was six years ago till now that Castiel left and five years ago since they drifted apart from each other in more ways than one. But the course of true love never did run smooth and with one half still in California and the other now living in Colorado, it was just a matter of time before fate intervened.
A/N: This is huge! Big ass chapter with much more to come and a lot more detail to be added if any of it is lacking. Do me a big favour and review? It would be amazing and helpful because it's you lot who keep me writing.
Title is taken from inspiration from that Katy Perry song.
