Mercy sat at the table, frustratingly tapping her foot as she thought through the events of last night. He was so annoyingly stupid sometimes…. Every damn time they do anything, cuddle, enjoy a movie, go out to eat, or even making love, he asked for her permission. Last night, she finally snapped and told him that he should know the answer to nearly 80% of the questions he asked her. They ended up sleeping with their backs against each other that night.
"Gotverdami…" she muttered as she scrolled through her tablet, biting her nails as she read, or rather rushed through, the newest report from the World Health Organization. She had been asked to review the paper before its publication and scheduled introduction at the floor of the General Assembly the following week.
"You seem distressed…. Tell me, did that tender hearted fool hurt someone again?" a gruff voice came from the other side of the table. She looked up to see none other than Hanzo, the elder sibling of her troubling lover. Assuming that she had just interrupted his morning tea session, she answered with a simple, "I'm sorry, I did not mean to interrupt you Hanzo."
She turned quickly back to her false reading in the interest of moving on. She read for another 10 or so seconds when she was suddenly compelled to look up. Hanzo was still staring at her, his face graced with a very unusual look: One that was quizzical, but also one with mild concern. She never confided in him of anything before. In fact, aside from anything related to injuries, they rarely interacted at all. Her relationship with his brother, and Hanzo's distinct history with Genji made any relationship dynamic between her and Hanzo awkward at best. It wasn't that the relationship was negative per say, it was simply one of considered distance, a distance that might arise from a fatal encounter with her significant other. "I apologize for being intrusive, I just wondered whether Genji was being out of line…." Hanzo said as he suddenly got up to leave. Mercy snapped out of her train of thought and realized she had been staring at Hanzo with no words for an uncomfortable amount of time.
"No, I'm so sorry Hanzo I didn't mean to ignore you. It's just…" Her thoughts ebbed again as she tried to find the right words. "Your brother is fine, it's rather that…." No, that was not what she wanted to say. She sighed. Genji had allegedly forgiven Hanzo. But she wasn't entirely sure that Hanzo realized that. Talking to Hanzo about Genji seemed potentially problematic. But on the other hand, if she didn't tell him, and Hanzo got to Genji first, things could get….insufferable. She could already imagine Genji going on about honor or some other vaguely defined virtue that he must imbue into the relationship if Hanzo were to tell Genji that something was wrong with her.
"Your brother is a bit of a coward. Every time we do anything together he ends up asking for permission on what he can and can't do. I know he may just be trying to be polite, but it's not really romantic if you ask like a child every other minute…" She lets out a huff of annoyance and adds, "you would think that a former playboy would be more sure of himself."
Mercy initially took Hanzo's silence as pensiveness. What she did not expect was for Hanzo to laugh. Not the small chuckle or a casual laugh, but a roaring laugh that was unbecoming of Hanzo. Mercy stared at him, shocked at his reaction. She had never seen Hanzo smile before, let alone laugh. It was, in her mind, an eerie sight to see him laughing so much.
He finally looked up to find a Mercy with her eyes contorted to an expression somewhere between confused and concerned for Hanzo's wellbeing. He waved it away in a similarly unfamiliar smile. "My apologies to you doctor. When I heard that you two… well, I expected change…. But this?" He chuckles again before folding his arms carefully as if to think how to respond. "He really has changed has he not, Sonnani Kawatte shinjirarenai…." Hanzo seemed to relish in his thoughts until he heard a small "ahem." He looked to find Mercy's face less contorted, but maintaining curiosity.
"What do you mean changed?"
Hanzo's brows perked as he stared at her. "Why Doctor Ziegler, I thought you knew? It is a bit obvious. No?"
"It seems to have escaped me." Mercy responds. Her voice was tinged with annoyance at Hanzo's bush beating.
Hanzo let out one last chuckle. "Dr. Ziegler, you mention that my brother has had many lovers, but from your own analysis, how many times do you think he has been in love?"
Mercy opened her mouth to answer, but found her voice was lost. How many girls did Genji date in his heyday? Many considering that he was a playboy. She knew that persona of him was long gone, but how many did he actually have feelings for? She barely began pondering until Hanzo interrupted. "Never, Dr. Ziegler. Every last one of those poor women was seduced for sex and nothing more. I have seen him do this too many times to be wrong. He never had feelings for a single one.
Dr. Ziegler, you are right that a playboy would never ask for permission from his partner to engage in anything romantic, especially if he only sees his partner as a sex object to be expended in a day. But the fact he would go through all the trouble with you… Just to make absolutely sure that you are comfortable and well before doing anything. What do you think that means?"
"…What?"
"He loves you Dr. Ziegler. He is afraid that if he reverts to anything resembling his old ways his relationship with you will revert to the meaningless orgies he had in the past. He found meaning by being with you and he's afraid of losing it."
Mercy sat silently, her mouth slightly open as if to express her epiphany.
"Why didn't he ever just tell me…"
"Well, I'm quite sure he's still trying to figure it out himself, he's never been one for totally understanding feelings, and he's always been cursed with rhetorical capacity of a boiled egg. Seems like that has not changed."
Hanzo chuckled and, returning to his tea, muttered "ano bakayaro…" Mercy sat still, absorbing what information she just received, thin lipped. Hanzo looked up and was pleasantly surprised to see that Mercy's lips stretched into a small smile. She never thought of that, why Genji always got nervous, even on the first night where he was adamant that she should have chosen another to preserve her standing in a prejudiced world. Always putting her before him, even when it was supposed to be a moment for both of them.
Hanzo sipped his cup of tea again, savoring the moment of her realization. It seemed he hadn't told her everything per say. Enough for her to know who he was and who he wants to be, but not necessarily what he is and why he is.
Mercy finally let out a small laugh.
"I guess you really are his brother…"
"It tends to come from sleeping directly above his room for more than 20 years doctor." Hanzo responded. He arose from his seat, empty tea cup in hand, and promptly left the room.
She found him later that afternoon, meditating silently, sitting behind the rail overlooking the sunset. He came here often to soothe his thoughts. "It is nice. To have the melody of the waves help you empty your mind of problems, and then to restore perspective." He told her once. She took his words at face value, too busy to actually participate with him. His visor off, he gazed out to the horizon. His abdomen moved steadily to the beat of the waves, showing Angela what he meant by the melody of the waves.
Ever the vigilant ninja, Genji's head perked up and turned. At seeing Angela, he rose to meet her gaze. "Angela… I want to express my regret for the past night."
He was about to continue, when she cut him off by pulling him into an embrace, wrapping her arms around his upper torso. He reciprocated by wrapping his around her shoulders and back, relieved that her frustration was defused by the miracle of time.
"I've been thinkin mein spatzli…" she whispered into his ear. The use of his pet name made him smile.
"What?" He whispered back, matching her tone.
"May I accompany you in your meditation today?"
Genji's grin widened, old scars stretching alongside his smile.
"It would be an honor."
They sat silently, eyes closed, ears perked to the sound of the waves lapping against the cliff. Angela sat amazingly still for a beginner, breath in motion, her chest moving up and down with the waves. Genji on the other hand, could not help but swivel his head towards her. The introduction of his significant other in his meditation routine seemed to have completely thrown him off his regular momentum.
"Just one question Angela."
She opened her eyes and glanced towards him, still smiling.
"What made you want to meditate today?"
She mock pondered for a couple seconds. Then she sighed and said, "Oh… Something you said a while ago. I'm finding that it is true. The melody of the waves really does restore perspective."
A/N
Gotverdami-God Damn me (Swiss German)
Sonnani Kawatte shinjirarenai-I can't believe he changed that much
ano bakayaro-That idiot
mein spatzli-my sparrow (Swiss German, -li, as I understand it, is a way to make a word more cute. It's used commonly as a way to make a word a pet name)
