Redwall's Next Top Model

A ferret stepped out from behind a red curtain and glanced upwards at the story's title: "Redwall's Next Top Model", and turned and looked at the reader with a charming smile.

"That's right people!" the ferret proclaimed, who at lot of people had guessed by now was called "Kelaiah" (that is, if you've already read a lot of my work, so if you haven't, you most likely didn't guess that, so that's okay). "You may have heard of 'America's Next Top Model', but now we're going to find out who here in Mossflower has the potential to be a model!"

The tall, skinny ferret then walked over to a screen where a remote control lay on a side table, explaining as he did, "The Candidates are:

Mariel Gullwhacker, daughter of Joseph the Bellmaker,

Rose (Laterose) of Noonvale, daughter of Urran Voh,

Cornflower Fieldmouse, wife of Matthias the Warrior and mother of Mattimeo the Warrior,

Celandine, singer of the Rambling Rosehip Players,

Treerose of Mossflower, wife of Oak Tom,

Trimp the Roving Hedgehog,

Mhera, Abbess of Redwall and sister of Deyna Taggerung,

Fwirl, wife of Friar Broggle and mother of Sister Rosabel,

Bluefen, wife of Swartt Sixclaw and mother of Veil Sixclaw the Outcast,

Dotti Dillworthy, first General of the Long Patrol,

Pasque Valerian, wife of Tammo De Fformelo Tussock,

Armel, Infirmary Keeper and wife of Rakkety Tam Macburl and mother of Melanda Macburl."

For each name the ferret clicked the remote at the screen, and each time it showed a picture of the creature he was talking about. When it was finally over, the ferret turned and began to explain everything to the reader:

"These twelve lovelies will be competing throughout various trials in order to prove that they are the Role Model for all females in Mossflower. Vote for your favorite character to help them win! (Though try to be fair and logical in your voting please.)

"The first challenge will be. . . ." the ferret paused dramatically.

"Cooking."

The ferret glanced around, then scowled. "Oh come on, people, this is REDWALL, the place that's known for the great feasts it gives, of COURSE the first challenge was going to be cooking! Sheesh.

"For more information," continued the ferret in a much more calmer tone, "please continue on to Chapter 2."