SMSTSS 19: Nine Weddings, and Maybe Some Funerals! – DS Wynne
Disclaimer: SM, R1/2, ST, TMNT and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre one-shot story.
Special Note: This story is in response to a request from a reader. Enjoy!
Midtown Manhattan, New York (aka "Hell's Kitchen") was the home of the Rantsu clan. After all, who would have thought to build "The Shadowland", a replica of an ancient Japanese castle circa the Tokugawa era? Originally, it was the home of the Daredevil, after he succeeded in becoming the leader of the rogue shinobi organization known as "The Hand". Because of this, the governing body of all shinobi activity, the Go Kamisora Gama, authorized a group (known as "The Chaste") of dedicate martial arts mystics to deal with the threat. But because of the Daredevil being the head of Hand, it was necessary to tap one particular martial artist that could deal with Daredevil: Ronin. Along with other so-called "Marvel Knights" (i.e. street level costume adventurers who patrol the streets of New York) and Sailor Moon, Ronin dealt with the Hand and Daredevil himself, who turned out to have been possessed by the founder of the Hand (known simply as "The Demon", not to be confused with the demon Etrigan). Once the crisis was resolved, the Daredevil and his beloved Elektra (formerly of the Hand) took off to recuperate from the ordeal while transferring control over the Shadowland to Ronin and Sailor Moon. Since then, there has been an effort to clean up Hell's Kitchen through the couple's charitable organization (called "The Phoenix Foundation"). Unfortunately, not everyone had gotten the proverbial memo on the change in "management"…
"We made it," Donatello said, as he quickly removes the grate that covered the ventilation shaft, which led straight into the throne room. He and his mutant, ninja turtles brothers had caught word that the Shadowland was under new management, so their master and father figure, Master Splinter, sent them to ascertain the threat.
"Dude, are you sure?" said Michelangelo, as he ate some pizza.
"Of course I'm sure!" Donatello said, as he held up personal data device. "After we put that tracker on the package we mailed to this place, we can now get a complete layout of the building.
"How tough is this…Ronin, anyway?" Raphael said, as he sharpened sai.
"Strong enough to take down out buddy Daredevil," Leonardo said. "That's why we have to nip this thing in the bud."
And so the turtles enter the throne room, unaware that the moment the four entered the building, their presence was already known.
Well, not exactly…
Usagi sighed, as she lay in the bed by her beloved's side.
"THAT was wonderful," Usagi said, as she turned to Ranma.
"I'm glad, because I would like to get some sleep, okay?" Ranma said, as he rolled over to his side, away from his wife. "I got to get up early to deal with the contractors in the morning."
"You do that, while I get a nice midnight snack," Usagi said. She then kisses Ranma on the head, and climbs out of the bed, puts on a robe, and heads for the kitchen. She goes into the kitchen, turns on the light, and begins to fix a sandwich while whistling the tune "Crazy for You". Now, as the once and future Moon Princess returned to her bedroom, she hears some rustling noise. Curious, Usagi turns to use her X-Ray vision and infrared vision in tandem to see that there were four intruders in the throne room. She frowns, but resolves to deal with the culprits…
"So, where do we have to go?" Michelangelo asked.
"I believe that the main office is behind this room," Donatello said, as he scanned the area. "Once we get there, I can hack directly into this…'RanStar System' I've been hearing about lately."
"What are you going to find there?" Raphael said.
"The holy grail of information, I suppose-"
"Wait," Leonardo said, as he grips the handle of his sword. "I think I heard something…"
Suddenly, the floor opens up, causing the turtles to fall into a hole.
"Guys, we got jump out of here-!" Raphael yelled, just as the ceiling slams shut down. Gas is then pumped into the now sealed hole, before what looks to be a sealed container is lifted.
"Good thing I got this 'Anti-Hand Trap' installed," Usagi said, as she grinned. She then looked inside the sealed container, and frowns.
"Oops," Usagi said, as she began to sweat. She then picks up her cell-phone to make a call.
"Um, Blacky? Yes, I need for you to get a cleanup crew to dispose of some bodies. Yes, tonight. Also, get me Dr. Alphonso Mephisto from South Park County. Yes, HIM. I need to have some clones of some mutant turtles grown to teenaged stature. Thanks."
Usagi sighs, as she looks at what was left of the Master Splinter's students. Hopefully, she could correct this mistake before anyone notices the boys being missing…
A few days later…
"…And this is April O'Neil signing off, and hoping that our missing, street level heroes, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, will be found," said the news reporter tearfully, as she gave her live report on the air. "Cut…CUT, damn you-"
"Man, I hope the guys are okay," Ranma said, as he cuts off the television set.
"I'm sure that they are," Usagi said, as she broke out in a sweat. "But look, I getting some of our wedding pictures together."
"Ah, yeah," Ranma said, as he sits next to his wife. "It's hard to believe that I finally tied the knot with the other Sailor Scouts."
"But I always will get first shot," Usagi chuckled. "Let's see…ah, this is me and you when we married in Japan, after renewing our vows at the local magistrate's office…"
"Yeah, you looked nice," Ranma said, as he touched the photograph. "You can just look at the anger at your dad's face. You know, that's the look of disapproval."
"Yeah, but that's because he didn't like the fact that I was already married to you, with a whole bunch of kids."
Usagi turns the page, to see picture of Ami in her wedding dress with Ranma. The background was that of a traditional church setting.
"I'm surprise Ami went ahead with the wedding, after Dr. Mizuno didn't give her approval," Usagi said.
"That's because of what happened to her…true love Ryo Urawa," Ranma said with a sigh. "After that, I was the second option for her."
Pause.
"I just wish that she would want to be intimate with me, beyond the honeymoon and all."
"She does care for you, Ranma," Usagi said, as she held Ranma's hand. "Just give her some time."
"I guess so…"
Usagi then turns the page.
"Ah, I remember this," Usagi grinned. "Minako, being the entertainer that she is, actually had a surprised wedding for you, complete with performance and dancers. Oh, and there was the Reverend Rainbow who facilitated the vows…"
Ranma sighed. He was in a cage when Minako, wearing a wedding dress, forced him to go through with the wedding, as a clown facilitated the vows.
"Ah, she tricked me into marry her, and managed to get Nabiki's help," Ranma groused.
"Well, you did promise to marry Minako, Ranma."
"But at a circus? Even I don't think having a wedding, at a circus no less, is romantic…"
"I thought it was cute," Usagi grinned, as she turned the page.
"Oh, look," Ranma said, as he sat up. "Remember this?"
"Yeah," Usagi replied with a smile. "I'm the one who designed the program, after all…"
The wedding photo was of the throne room of the Great Hall, located in the City of Arrakeen, on the planet known simply as "Dune". Ranma was wearing the uniform of a member of the House of Atreides, while Hoshi was wearing an elegant, white gown with a white, formal cap that flared with white peacock feathers.
"But don't you think you might have screwed up the timeline with this?" Usagi asked.
"Naw, because Hoshi thinks I'm into cosplaying the Dune saga, not knowing that I gave the idea to Frank Hubert's book series," Ranma said. "She seemed to dig, though…"
"I see," Usagi said, as she turned the page. "Now, that is a traditional Japanese wedding."
"It is, because Rei insisted," Ranma said. "I have the formality of it all the last time WE went through it, hundreds of years ago."
"But back then, the customs were even fierce, you know…"
Usagi turns the page of the wedding album again.
"Now, this, I liked," Ranma said with a grin.
"Yeah, I noticed," Usagi said. "You and Makoto jumped out of an airplane with a Reverend Rainbow, and exchanged wedding vows during freefall, using only a headset to hear and say the exchange of vows."
"Yep," Ranma said. "We should have done that ourselves."
"Yeah, you would be jumping off by yourself, Ranma."
"Humph."
Usagi turns the page.
"Awwww," Usagi said with a smile. "Now, this is cute."
"Yeah, Hotaru wanted a fairy tale wedding," Ranma said. "So, I got my mother Arwen and my daughter Moira to set things up on Arcadia, vis-à-vis the umbral realm of the Moon…"
Usagi could see various fae standing around, as Oberon and Titania gave their blessings, while Ranma and Hotaru were decked in fae garb wearing crowns. After all, both were royalty, in their own way."
"At least Peter Pan behaved himself, when he and the Lost Boys showed up…"
Usagi turns the page.
"But…this, is funny on many levels," Usagi said, as she takes a look at the photo. In it were two drunks, Ranma and Haruka, at a wedding chapel in Las Vegas, with Ranma-onna looking like Elvis the King. They also looked like they had gotten into a fight."
"Yeah, I guess," Ranma replied. "Haruka tried to fight me on my honeymoon with Michiru, but we ended up coming to an understanding."
"Yeah, like Haruka playing the role of the woman only on your birthday, while you can be the guy during…well, whatever," Usagi said. "I wonder how your kids will turn out."
"Considering we have a son who invented the 'Sexy No Jutsu', pretty normal, actually," Ranma replied. "But she wants me to have the kids. Yeah, right. I'll get pregnant if SHE gets pregnant with me."
"Huh."
Usagi turns the page.
"And this one was when Admiral Gloval married you and Michiru, on the deck of the SDF-1," Usagi said. Ranma could be seen in his full United States Air Force uniform, while Michiru was in a lovely, aquamarine dress. Haruka could be seen on the side, and looked visibly upset while drinking a silver flask.
"Who would have thought that I would be married twice on the same day?" Ranma said with a shrug.
"I still can't believe Michiru actually went through with the wedding," Usagi said. "Then again, she probably did so for your female guise. She was always like that."
"She's a tease, is what she is," Ranma said. "But, whatever."
Finally, Usagi turns the last page of the album, and reveals Ranma and Setsuna. Ranma wore a simple tux (with a white rose on the lapel), while Setsuna wore a simple white gown and held a bouquet white roses. The background was a standard charcoal gray facing, one that could be found in any portrait picture studio.
"Setsuna could have any type of wedding arrangement, and yet she chose to keep things simple," Usagi said.
"She's all business, that's for sure," Ranma said with a smirk.
"Yeah, that's Setsuna, alright," Usagi said.
There was a moment of silence in the room.
"You know, I have an idea," Usagi said.
"What is it?" Ranma asked suspiciously.
Usagi smiled in reply.
Hours later…
"Usagi, I don't see why clothes are not allowed on this trip," Ami said, as she sat on a lounge chair while having a book and a drink in hand.
"Ami, you need this trip more than I do," Usagi said, as she lounges on her own lounge chair. She glances over at the pool in front of her, with the other Sailor Scouts mingling amongst themselves, with Ranma in the center in one such mingling. Whatever happens that day or the rest of the weekend on the desert island that Ranma and Usagi owned, will be left up to nature.
"Usagi, I really do not think this is necessary," said Setsuna, as she walks up to Usagi. "I will have my own romantic encounters Ranma as I see fit."
"Setsuna," Usagi said, as she reaches in an ice-filled bucket, and pulls out a canned drink, and tosses it to the Senshi of Time. "Relax."
"Very well," Setsuna said with a sigh, as she accepts her drink, before sitting down next to Usagi. "But I'll relax on MY time."
"Whatever, Puu-chan," Usagi said with a smile. "Whatever…"
Fin.
