Dear Kate,
I woke up when you were doing physics homework yesterday at 6:00 or so. It's not due until Monday but I know you hate not having your homework done right away, so I finished it. I didn't read any of your books for Lit but, well, you wouldn't have remembered it if I did. Also, Max wants to borrow your copy of the October Country, and I said yes, so I hope that's cool. I didn't actually lend it but I said you would, so pretty please? She seems nice and I want her to like me.
There's a party starting at 8:00 (it's actually 8:08 rn but I wanted to make sure I finished the physics homework) that I'm going to. I'll try not to drink too much so you don't have a hangover again. Sorry about last time, again. Have a nice Friday.
~ Katie
Edit: Apparently you asked Dana to the party! I'm so proud of you. Dana seems very nice. I haven't asked if you like girls or not so I'll try not to do anything you wouldn't do.
Unlike most days, there was another message after the first.
Dear Kate
hey so i kkind of drank too much don't be mad at me. also i smoked a little but just a little i don't even smell. Drink a glass off water, you'll feel better. also makeup. sorry
The drinking had been kind of immediately apparent thanks to the whole throbbing headache and difficulty focusing. The makeup comment was a little harder to decipher until Kate checked herself out with the mirror next to the door and found that her mascara and lipstick were smeared. Also, obviously, they hadn't been removed before bed. Despite the fact that Kate had repeatedly asked Katie to not wear mascara or to go get them some waterproof mascara (Katie never included it in her notes, but Kate often woke up to find she'd been crying), here it was, a mess on her face again. Of course.
Dear Katie,
Seeing as you knew that the physics homework was due Tuesday, I assume you looked at my planner and saw that I have a test today this afternoon. I know you don't get very often but I wish you would be more considerate of how your actions affect me academically and socially. How was Dana?
Kate stared at the message for a few minutes, struggling to find a way to make it sound less aggressive. It was past 9:00, and chances are she wasn't going to have a chance to take a decent shower, nevermind study for the Music lab test. Maybe she could talk to Max at lunch about it? What if Max had been at the party and seen how she was acting? What if things were weird? Max could get pretty awkward as it is.
Kate sighed, and deleted the message.
Dear Katie,
I'm glad you had a good time last night, and thank you for doing my Physics homework. That was very considerate. Please try to drink water between drinks - these hangovers really suck. If you are awake around noon tomorrow, we have a tea date with Max downtown. I'll give her The October Country today in class.
Also, I've been thinking, if you'd be up to it, I might like to teach you violin. I'm losing a lot of practice time, but I also want you to have your own life and I'm not going to make you if you don't want to learn. I thought I could upload some tutorials onto Youtube or something and you'd have my notes.
How was Dana?
I hope you have a good day,
Kate
It was 9:28. She could eat a granola bar and take a quick shower before English. Hopefully this wasn't going to be another morning of her crouching in the shower waiting for the vertigo to stop as she missed her first class.
Kate decided to take a nap through lunch as her form of studying for the Music final. Her headache had gone away, but she still felt like garbage, even moreso because she hadn't been able to focus at all through AP Lit. However, just as she finally dropped into a blissful power-nap, there was a knock at her door.
She groaned, but Max and Dana were the only people who ever came to talk to her in her room, and they were both pretty soft-spoken and quick to disengage, so this shouldn't be too bad.
"Come in," Kate called, pushing herself upright. Her elbows cracked in her response. She just tried to focus on looking awake.
"Oh, hi Victoria," Kate said.
"Hey," Victoria replied. She just stood in the doorway for a second, then asked, "Can I talk to you for a second?"
What could Victoria possibly want to talk about? Did Katie say something mean to her again?
Kate shrugged slowly. "Yeah I . . . guess. Come in."
Victoria nodded in response, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. Kate expected her to just say something real quick and leave - maybe lean back against the doorway all haughty and make some snide remarks about her behavior. But, instead, she walked across the room, pulled out Kate's roller chair, and sat across from Kate. It left them on an even elevation for probably the first time of all conversations they'd ever had - Victoria loved being taller than other girls, it seemed. Or at least she made use of it.
Kate just sat there, too unfamiliar with the situation to even suss out how to start.
Victoria took a quick deep breath, then put on a suspicious face. "Okay. I thought we should talk about the party."
Of course you do. Did I push you in the pool or something?
"Oh . . . okay." Kate paused, then added, "You first?"
Victoria leaned back in the chair, crossing her arms over her chest. Now that was a more familiar Victoria look.
"Fine. Were you fucking with me last night?"
Kate opened her mouth to reply, but Victoria kept going before she could get a word in, "Because I want to let you know: if you post this on social media, or so much as tell it to your friends, I will end you, you got it?"
Victoria was always sarcastic and cutting, but her cold, venomous tone now chilled Kate's body and made her mouth run dry. Katie had gotten her into some deep, deep shit and she hadn't bothered to mention it. Posting something on social media? Had Katie taken pictures of Victoria in some compromising situation? Video-taped her doing drugs? What could she possibly have done to piss Victoria off more than Kate already had?
I can fix this. Victoria just has to tell me what I did and I'll fix it. No questions asked.
Kate put on her best concerned face, which was pretty easy, because she didn't want Victoria to make her death look like an accident one sunny morning on her way to church.
"Yeah, no, totally, I get that. I just, um. What are you talking about? Last night is kind of . . . hazy."
Kate wasn't sure how to guess if she could have plausibly lost memory from how bad her hangover was, but her hangover had certainly felt pretty bad.
Victoria just glared. "Real cute, but you weren't drunk. At least not at first. And, look, I can take it like I dish it, if you were flirting with me to make me uncomfortable, fine, be gross and weird. But you - you crossed a line last night."
Kate's eyes widened with shock and her mouth held just a little bit open. "Oh no," she said. "Did I sexually harass you? That's so rude, I'm-"
"No, no. I mean, yeah, kinda, but what the fuck ever. I mean when you kissed me, asshole." Victoria clearly flinched on the word 'kissed', but Kate was already busy sinking into shame. Well, shame and confusion.
"Oh, god," Kate replied, looking down at the ground. She needed an explanation - fast - that wouldn't get her in even more trouble. "I just . . . I guess I just didn't really think about it. I'm not really myself when I drink, I'm sorry." That much, at least, was true.
Victoria sighed. Clearly, that wasn't good enough for her. She looked down at the ground, too, letting her hands fall down into her lap. "Then why . . .?"
Kate looked up, her heart sinking. What more could there be?
Victoria tried again, "Then why did you say, 'I've been waiting to do that', huh? That sounds at least a little premeditated, don't you think?"
Will Katie ever stop digging ditches that I have to climb out of?
Wait. What if she . . .
"That's because . . . I . . . uh." Kate swallowed.
This is a gamble. If I'm wrong, there will be hell to pay.
I guess this is what you get, having two lives at once, huh? It never works out smoothly, even for the people who can remember what they're doing.
Kate and Victoria's eye contact was too much to keep stalling. She just had to take the risk, or else she could be messing up something important for Katie. Even if she didn't like the idea . . . Katie must be so lonely.
The thought made Kate's eyes glass up, and she reached up to wipe the moisture away. "I . . . like . . . you."
Victoria's expression fell - softer now, but sad. She let her gaze drop again. "Are you a lesbian, Kate?"
"I dunno," Kate replied. The truth, again, was easier.
Victoria nodded to herself, and leaned back in the seat again. She looked off now, towards Kate's mirror instead of her face.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Kate couldn't look at Victoria anymore - she just felt ashamed. She was putting them all in a shitty situation by saying that, even if Katie would have meant it. Even if, somehow, Victoria reciprocated Katie's (hypothetical) feelings, Kate still controlled her body a good 75% of the time. What could they possibly have with her here?
"I get what you're going through, you know," Victoria finally said.
Kate looked up. She was hunched over, rocking in place just a little. "You do?" she asked weakly.
Victoria nodded. "Yeah. It's . . . tough in a place like this. And it's worse if someone you like is mean to you."
"Oh." There was a lot in that, but very little that Kate knew how to respond to. It's not like Victoria had been more open with her than a clam's shell before now.
They sat in silence for a long while - maybe a minute?, it would tough to tell. Kate wanted to sleep. She wanted to be out of this situation. She wanted to talk to Katie.
Finally, Victoria placed her hands on her knees and stood up. She looked at the ground, then at Kate. "Look, no promises, but I'll try and stop being such a bitch to you."
Kate held back a chuckle, finally relaxing a little. Maybe something good could come out of this after all. "Thanks. I'd like that."
Victoria nodded, a grimace briefly on her face, and she walked to the door. As she opened it up and stepped through, however, she paused.
Kate looked after her curiously, and Victoria craned her head around to look back at her.
"And . . . if you need anything," she said. She blinked, hesitating, and added, "Just text me."
She closed the door after herself, and Kate fell back onto her bed.
"Dammit," she whispered to no one but herself.
Kate did not wake up to find a new message until Saturday night, around midnight. She couldn't have missed much time, because she finished her homework around 9:00 and had just started watching Youtube videos. Still, what she found was . . . maybe not what she had hoped.
Dear Kate,
OMG. KATE I'M SO SORRY. I WAS TOTALLY MESSING WITH HER - I JUST THOUGHT SHE'D BE TOO EMBARRASSED TO TELL ANYONE OR TALK TO YOU. MY BAD DUDE, MY BAD.
Please let me know how I can make this up to you - I really didn't think this would come back to bite you on the ass. I promise I'll do your laundry for a month, and I'll do homework over the weekends. I know that doesn't really fix your problem but at least I can make your life a little easier.
No, on a not-unrelated note: I'm glad Victoria's going to start leaving you alone. I'll stop being mean to her behind her back and stuff so things won't seem weird. Maybe if you or I go out with someone she won't think you have a crush on her anymore?
Other stuff -
1) I will try harder to not get you hung over.
2) I'd love for you to teach me violin! Maybe we could start at an easier time though, like maybe Thanksgiving break or Christmas?
3) About Dana: Oh no! :( I knew she didn't go to the party but I didn't know she was having a rough time, I just thought she bailed. I'll make her cookies or something. Or, I guess, I can't really cook anything, so I'll steal some extra muffins from the cafeteria I guess.
4) I'm glad tea with Max was nice. And tell her happy birthday for me! I didn't realize I missed it. And just to like, put my cards on the table here, my comments above about dating someone so Vic wouldn't be so worried about you crushing on her, I'd be willing to hang out with Max more if you like her. You haven't really said.
5a) I'm sorry I'm coming into your life at such a complicated time. I mean, I know it's complicated for me, too, but not so much about sexuality. Luckily, whoever I was just thought people were real hot. Which I guess may not be great for us if we're in an abstinence club.
5b) About that - if I wanna fuck someone what's the protocol? I don't want to fuck up your life but I'm also not abstinent. They didn't really cover this in sex ed. Or I may have just missed that.
5c) I know this is super weird but does your version of Christianity prohibit masturbation? Like I'm going to anyway but is it cool to make jokes about it with the kids in the support circle?
6) I know this may not be helpful but Victoria is very strong and tall and a very soft kisser. I may not have been serious but she might be! We're really cute! Or if there's anyone you like, I'll do my best to help you out and keep your cover. Or my cover. Whichever.
If there's anything more I can do to make up for fucking things up with Vic just let me know. I'm really sorry. Please tell Dana I'm looking out for her and give her a hug for me if you see her, okay? And if anyone hurt her, I'm pretty sure I know how to do violence, so just like, hit me up.
~ Katie
Kate sunk her face in her hands to think about how messed up her life had become, and then went back to bed.
